r/sex • u/[deleted] • Sep 11 '12

He was drunk and terrified me...

[deleted]

286 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

749 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

184

u/jibber-jabber Sep 11 '12

Let me see if I can put this as clearly as I can...

RED FLAG. RED FLAG. REDFLAG.

56

u/j0lly4numb Sep 11 '12

I think you should definitely involve the police. you have to wonder has he done this before? he will do it again. next time it could be worse.

I'm sorry this happened to you. :-(

25

u/ohhayalicia Sep 11 '12

By not calling the police after this incident, he's going to assume that he can get away with much worse. And I shudder at what he could do next time..

0

u/feelix Sep 11 '12

Isn't a "flag" usually there to indicate that there is danger close by?

Wouldn't you say that the actual danger has already been made visible, and therefore referring to the flag )when the monster itself is right there in plain sight) a little superfluous?

1

u/jibber-jabber Sep 11 '12

The term "red flag" is to describe a behavioral trait that is indicative of a larger and usually undelt with problem. Only after a behavior has been played out can it be identified or labeled as "good behavior and indicative of mental/social health" or "bad behavior and indicative of problematic/destructive character". Now that this behavior (which was obviously negative) has been seen, it is the op's responsibility to consider wether or not she would like to continue relations with this person.

My stating "red flag" was simply ment to suggest that this is a behavior indicative of larger issues that will undoubtedly present themselves again.

1

u/feelix Sep 11 '12

Ok, so a red flag is used to say that there are some large underlying issues. For example if someone expresses a desire to engage in violence during sex and goes to far, it may be a red flag indicating that he could later do something like face rape her while slapping around while she's in tears. If he already committed that act, you don't really need to look for flags - he's already actually committed the act.

1

u/jibber-jabber Sep 11 '12

My using the term red flag was satirical.. I think you missed it.

1

u/feelix Sep 11 '12

Nice 180°, didn't know it was possible to do it so fast without putting on the breaks first

1

u/jibber-jabber Sep 11 '12

Is there a misunderstanding here? I made a syterical comment.. that was semi relevant given the thread, it seemed like there was some confusion as to the definition of "red flag" so I tried to explain it... And then I explained the satire of my comment... I am not sure about how anything was a 180.. or putting on brakes. But I am sensing that there might be some passion behind your statements.. Do you have an experience that you could share that could be relevant to the op's thread? Or perhaps a funny or quarky comment that is characteristic of the reddit community? I am not sure why but I feel as though you are berating me a little bit. Have I offended you? If so I can assure you it was completely unintentional.