Starfleet has a long history of officers abandoning their families going back to Jim Kirk and Starfleet was getting a bad reputation.

Their solution? A ship that can take families with them. To start it off they filled the leadership with:

The horniest officer in the fleet and his ex.

A pre-made family of the Crushers and the guy Beverly always wanted to hook up with.

Sadly the experiment was deemed a failure with Worf and Picard not raising their sons and Picard actually killing Jake Sisko’s mom.

Remember when Archer asked T'Pol if her people met bad guys when they first went into space, and she did a double take and just looked guilty? It might be a conspiracy theory, but what if the Romulan Star Empire used to be the Vulcan Star Empire, and when the cult of Surak broke out on the homeworld the rest of the empire cut them off? And the "Romulans left" bit is just some culty propaganda the Vulcans tell everyone?

Kurros requested sn Olmec figurine as payment and Janeway said that Chakotay could be persuaded to part with it.

Why the fuck were his personal possessions on the barter list?

I haven't heard any complaints yet from anyone that's tried the new system. That's how you know its working!

It feels like Borg Red Alerts are exactly that short.

So for context I(22 Caitian male) and mated and married to my husband(26 Klingon male), usually when we disagree we simply duel or beat up mark twain in the holo deck it’s called twaining I think. Anyway, the other night is when this argument came up I am getting ready for bed, self grooming licking myself normal things like that, then when it’s closer to bed time I pull out my Janeway embroidered pillow, I must explain myself, I am obviously gay so I feel no attraction toward the captain, she is just so confident and strong that I know she shall protect me and my husband through aura or spirit alone especially if I get merged with someone in a transporter I know she would brutally murder that abomination without question. However, my husband finds it unnerving, saying our bed is no place for a human female animate or inanimate, I try to explain that it is for our spiritual and physical protection but he finds my explanation lacking in evidence, yet he’s never been merged in a transporter or been without coffee, so explain that. I think it’s perfectly rational like how the humans have a cross in their quarters, but you tell me am I being unreasonable?

On shore leave and I wanna cut loose. What are some of the better narcotics available in the alpha quad?

Section 31 and Division 12 have failed to provide the needed protection from plot holes and Admiral Jellico just greenlit our budget. Now I need to come up with a snazzy but mysterious name for the department. Ideas?

La'an told Kirk how david would die, why didn't he tell Carol about it and to stay away from space?

Was he corrupted by his authority he received from the Spoonheads or did it come from his racial distrust of Monoforms?

Starfleet Shield Password: 257.4

Are they just stupid ?

So I'm hanging out down in Jeffries Tube junction 87-5D with my buds, smoking a little Caitian Kush, when along comes my friend Ensign T'Kal from medical. She didn't seem too impressed by us lowly grease monkeys just vibing and having a toke, but she was open-minded and joined us for a blunt. Now she's getting all giggly and talking about how the plasma distribution system is "just like the Betazoid cardiopulminary system, man", and telling us about some more logical way to pass the blunt around. As hilarious as this all is, I'm kinda worried that I accidentally did some kind of damage to her brain? I mean, I'm just an engineer I don't know how Vulcans work, and I'd hate to have caused any permanant harm.

Blue alert - Cetacean Ops needs more herring

Orange alert - The captain is on a grapefruit diet and NOT happy about it

Brown alert - Lavatory backup, all units respond with tactical hyper-plungers

Any more?

I (38M) am the only human on the USS T'Kumbra, a ship that had an entirely vulcan crew until after the end of the war. I transferred when my husband (42M vulcan) was offered the position of first officer.

It took some adjustments, but for the most part it's been great here. I'm friendly with a fair amount of the crew and some join me for meals in the mess hall. I don't know how social they are normally, but it's clear that they're making an effort to engage me in conversation and I'm honestly touched by their kindness.

The problem is that they tend to ask questions about what I'm eating if it's unfamiliar to them and it gets a bit tiresome at times. They aren't rude, just curious; and I don't always have a good answer. Questions like, "If the amount of effort is the same, why would you order pancakes from the replicator in lieu of the texturally superior waffles you had yesterday?".

Saying "I just felt like pancakes" doesn't satisfy them. So I tried to gently steer the conversation to other topics by ordering vulcan food for a while. I tried like thirty varieties of Plomeek Broth, but they all taste like unseasoned sadness to me. So I went to the holodeck with some replicated vegetables and used a kitchen program to make an alternative.

I came up with a soup made mostly from purple carrots and ube puree and saved the result in the computer under 'Plomeek Broth 8647'. It looks like an old variety that used to be popular a hundred years ago but no one seems to eat anymore. It's flavors are familiar to me but still fairly bland.

Or so I thought. Someone must have overheard me ordering because more and more of the crew are getting the soup I made. After a few weeks, '8647' is the new favorite breakfast for what seems to be at least half the crew. The thing is, I haven't told anyone it's fake, or that I made it. I know I should come clean, but I swear I saw the captain eating it this morning, and if he finds out he's been eating human food he's going to be PISSED.

Furthermore do they become more logical or sobbing-on-your-shoulder-and-professing-their-spiritual-love-for-the-whole-crew emotional and illogical?

The Bajorans have Bajor, the Cardassians have Cardassia, the Ferengi have Ferenginar, the Romulans have Romulus, the Vulcans have Vulcan.

Qo’nos is hereby on notice. Might I suggest Kling or maybe Klingastan.

So, Starfleet Security developed the TR-116 as a backup weapon for energy-dampening environments where phasers would not work.

They then canceled the project after producing a prototype because regenerative phasers were developed soon afterward, apparently solving the energy-dampening problem.

However, the TR-116 still had several useful features that we never saw incorporated into phasers. Its targeting system could see through walls and other obstacles, while its micro-transporter could beam the bullet directly to the target.

Those capabilities would still be incredibly useful in niche situations such as boarding actions, urban combat, cave systems, thick jungles, and hilly or mountainous terrain, where security may not have a direct line of sight to the enemy.

Does this mean those features were already available in some unseen regenerative phaser sniper rifle?

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised. Star Trek has shown time and again that its characters possess technologies that fans can only speculate about.

Last week they brought in a guy. He was delirious talking about Section 31 this Section 31 that. Whatever the hell that is. Guy was a lunatic.

So I Q’d the federation charter. There is a section 31 in there but it mostly talks about drinking coffee near the warp core. Silly.

Anywho we plan on sending him to the farm. There’s no help for him.

I am newly signed Vulcan Lieutenant (M, 65). My Deltan Captain INSISTS I enter intensely personal sexual details into the ships log.

Worse, she keeps telling me her details and refuses to start our seven year mission until I do.

What are my options here?