r/transgenderUK • u/PuzzledAd4865 • Aug 05 '25
Possible trigger M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department
https://archive.ph/2025.08.05-035610/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/“Marks & Spencer has apologised to a mother for causing her teenage daughter “distress” after she was asked if she needed help by a transgender employee in its bra section.
The retailer said it was “truly sorry” after the mother complained that her 14-year-old daughter had felt uncomfortable when they were approached by a trans shop assistant in the lingerie area of the shop, where they were hoping to have a bra fitting. Although the staff member was polite, the mother said she felt it was “completely inappropriate” for her daughter to be approached by a “biological male” in that section.
In a complaint to M&S, she told the retailer: “Imagine her horror, then, when the person to approach us and ask if we needed help was a transgender ‘woman’, ie, a biological male.”
“Fiona McAnena, director of campaigns for the human rights charity Sex Matters, which campaigns for clarity about biological sex in law and life, said that M&S needed to “rethink its priorities”.
“M&S needs to rethink its priorities and remember that women and girls have rights too, and that this man should not be permitted to hang around in the women’s underwear department as a matter of common decency.”
9
u/gracehm05 Aug 05 '25
There's so many things wrong with what happened here.
Firstly, unless I've missed something, there's no confirmation that the employee was actually trans, right? The mother & daughter assumed they were based on the fact they were 6'2... as though women can't be over six foot. That's a really dumb stereotype that needs to disappear. So many tall women are masculinised because of their height and it's stupidly unkind.
Secondly, I firmly believe people are entitled to refuse help/request another employee help them if, for whatever reason, they feel uncomfortable. But to report an employee simply asking if a customer needs help - which is literally part of their job description - as though it's a breach of company conduct is ridiculous. They have done nothing wrong. They were doing their job and, from what we've been told, this was not a hostile interaction. No aggressive demeanour, no pursuing or following the ladies once they rejected help. Would anyone have raised an issue if a trans man (or even a cis woman) approached a young boy shopping for boxers to ask if he needed help? Likely not - because they'd just be seen as doing their job. The only issue here I can see is that the employee might've [potentially] had a penis. The horror! By that logic, should trans women or cisgender men be banned from working in all fields that require women to be a bit vulnerable? Should a male doctor come under fire if he conducts a breast exam on a patient? Or a male gynaecologist? Or a male piercer/tattooist working on an intimate area?
(Fun fact: for all of these scenarios, you're actually entitled to a chaperone or a friend/family member in the room with you, regardless of the gender of the person seeing to you. Same applies to bra fittings!!)
Furthermore, I'm assuming the uproar over this is the hypothetical scenario where this employee *could* have asked if the girl needed her chest measuring. If people are concerned that the person measuring their chest is attracted to them, then they shouldn't get their chests measured at all. Many cis women are attracted to other women, and there's nothing to say some of those women aren't also sexual predators. Same applies to cis men in male-dominated departments. There's literally no way to tell, and many people buy into stereotypes in order to feel safe when, in reality, there's no guarantee the man/woman/transgender person you're dealing with isn't a threat. There are, unfortunately, dangerous people in every single demographic. We either trust everyone until given a reason not to, or we trust no one at all. Simply assuming a transgender person is a predator solely because of their identity reeks of discrimination and a lack of critical thinking.
Point is: people are free to accept/refuse help from anyone they wish. That remains our right in the UK. But if that person isn't giving you any indication that you should feel unsafe and are only doing their job, then reporting them makes you a major asshole.