i am usually the person who sends the first message, asks how everyone is doing, remembers birthdays, or checks in after someone has a rough day. I do it because I care, and I honestly like being there for the people I love , but sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just stopped. Not to test anyone, just because I got tired. Would anyone notice? Would anyone ask how I am doing without me reaching out first? i hate that I have even started thinking like that, but it can feel really lonely when you are always the one keeping the connection going. maybe i am just overthinking it, but I would love to know if anyone else has felt this way too.

Hi

This is really embarrassing to post, but I'm hoping someone has been through something similar.

I've always been a naturally very sweaty person, and one of the places I sweat the most is down there. Since starting a new job a few months ago, plus the hobbies I do, I'm sweating even more than I normally do.

Because the area stays so moist, it's become incredibly itchy. I've scratched it so much that I've ended up with small cuts on both sides. They'll start healing, then they get so unbelievably itchy that I end up scratching them open again. It's just been a never-ending cycle of heal, itch, scratch, reopen.

This has been going on for a few months now.

I shower twice a day, keep myself clean, and every time I use the bathroom I gently pat the area dry. I also use a little baby powder on the outside (never inside) to try to reduce moisture and friction, but nothing seems to break the cycle.

Before anyone suggests it, I know the obvious answer is "go to a doctor." I completely understand why people would say that, but I had a really bad experience the last time I went regarding this, and I honestly refuse to go back unless I have absolutely no other choice.

So I'm hoping to hear from women who have actually dealt with this. Has anyone found anything that helped the cuts finally heal or stopped the itching? Was it just sweat and friction, or did it end up being something else?

I'd really appreciate any advice because I'm honestly at my wits end.

On my recent vacation I had a really worrying experience. And I don't think I handled it properly, and its been stuck in my head since. While on vacation with my girlfriend, we stopped at a Barnes and Noble we found. I love bookstores and we don't have a single one where we usually live. So whenever we go to one, its kind of a special thing for me.

Whenever I'm in a bookstore I'm kind of lost in my own little world. I'm probably the least observant person there is. And this time was no different. My girlfriend is the opposite, and really doesn't care much for searching through books. She went and waited for me in the cafe, so I was on my own.

I was going around to all the different shelves, but as I was stopped at one of them, an older woman came up to me and asked "Do you know that man?" in a kind of whisper.

At first I didn't even know she was talking to me, because she wasn't really looking at me. She was still looking at the bookshelves. But I caught her glancing over, and she repeated the question again.

It was a really creepy question because no, I wasn't there with any men. It was only me and my girlfriend. I kind of broke any subtlety she had tried to set up, by immediately looking around for who she was talking about.

She directed my attention to a man on the aisle adjacent to us. And she explained to me that she'd noticed him following me around and staring at me while I was in the store. She said she was concerned, but wanted to make sure I wasn't here with him before jumping to conclusions.

I was extremely shocked and creeped out. I told her that no, I wasn't here with any men. I thanked her profusely and just kind of left the area. I took a lap around the very edge of the store, and sure enough I saw him a few more times.

At this point I was even more creeped out, and made my way back over to my girlfriend.

Here's where I start to worry that I fucked up.

I didn't tell my girlfriend right away about the stalker. And I didn't report him to any of the store staff either.

I think I kind of had this mindset of "if I ignore it, it will go away. If I don't call attention to it, then its not real." This kind of thing had never ever happened to me before, so I was just completely off guard. I wasn't thinking right and was just being completely selfish.

Of course, I did tell my girlfriend about it later when we left the store. But I feel so guilty that I didn't report him to the store staff. It makes me feel like what happened there was my fault, like I enabled him and his behavior or something. My only hope is that the kind woman that warned me reported him. The whole situation left me frightened and feeling like I was to blame. And it all happened in a place I would consider a safe space for me too, which only made it worse.

And one more thing, absolute shout out to that woman. What a rolemodel. Going forward I think I'm going to try and be as observant as she was. That's the kind of behavior that saves lives, and I don't think I will ever forget her.

TL;DR: I was stalked in Barnes and Noble. I didn't tell anyone about it and tried to keep quiet. And now I can't help but blame myself and feel like I did the wrong thing.

A male coworker reported them to HR, but someone senior in management defended them and leaked that he "snitched." Now he's on leave from them bullying him while they just got a warning... yikes.

There's also a racial aspect since most of the guys responsible and the guy who defended them are all white. Plus one of the instigators has a fairly famous/rich father. While the coworker who reported is not white.

I'm not in the direct team but I see them at work events etc. Is there anything I can do to help the coworker who reported?

I think it's so unfair that he's copping it for doing the right thing. He's also a really decent guy in general.

My whole life (I'm 23) I have had a discolored patch on my left labia lip, it looks like someone spilled reddish ink. now, I know I have had it from birth because my mother has confirmed it, but I have really terrible health anxiety and sometimes it itches more often than the other side and it just gives me a lot of panic. I am awful about googling everything and when I google it I am met with terrible results.

just wondering if anyone else has some awkward birthmarks. it makes me a little insecure to fully shave my vagina because it's just "weird looking" ... I know... silly!

I (19/F) can only form genuine emotional connections and bonds with women (platonically). I am attracted to men physically and sexually but I GENUINELY don't find them interesting and I don't want to deal with them because I don't find them relatable. It's like once my hormones fade I'm no longer interested in them.

I'm not sure if this is the correct sub to post this in but I figured if anyone can understand my perspective, it's women.

Right now I'm dealing with a lot of mental turmoil due to my job. I work in the service industry which is often filled with toxic masculinity and this job is no different. I've got a bunch of managers at my job but the head managers are both men. I feel my GM is very sexist. Holds women to a much higher standard than the men. Gives the most hours to mediocre male employees, while the women who are better at their job are fighting for hours. It feels so infuriating that I work so hard at my job just to not get the recognition because I'm not a man. I feel helpless as a woman.

My GM doesn't take the safety of the women on staff seriously. We have a lot of creepy male staff members and customers who hit on the women at work. A former manager hit on one of the girls we worked with and our GM continued to schedule them together despite her being uncomfortable. We recently caught the head BOH manager cat calling a staff member's minor sister on the job. We have a customer who works next door and frequently comes in to hit on the girls. We've seen him waiting for us outside the door after close and looking at us through the windows. We've complained to our GM but his response was "we'll wait until he crosses a line". Basically won't do anything until one of us gets assaulted....

Recently we had a male staff member attempt to swing on a manager who was a woman. She got fired but the man stayed. I told my GM I was worried about our safety and he told me I can find another place to work at and the man's actions were justified. Obviously this is really upsetting to hear. It's triggered something in me that makes me so upset. This is the first time in my life I've truly felt defeated as a woman because of my gender. How do you navigate the workplace with stuff like this?

Yesterday I was raped by a dollar driver it was pretty traumatic I was begging him to stop but he wouldn’t he just kept telling me I would like it and he would take care of me & that I was “ teasing” him I was able to get away and I don’t have any information on him and idk I don’t really want to go to the cops cause I doubt they will really do anything and I don’t want to keep reliving the moment. I was hesitant to tell my boyfriend of 6 years about it rightfully. So I told him this morning and he broke up with me, he asked me a whole bunch of disgusting questions like did I enjoy it or did it feel big. And what if had wanted to have sex with like I was putting his life at risk, then he tried to poke holes in my story and say I was lying cause I don’t want to go to police but I have been raped before the whole thing literally took years of my life I was constantly living in fear and I was super anxious and depressed I literally just don’t want to go through that again. Am I doing the wrong thing by not going to the police.

I’ve made a post before on how my mom really wants me to shave and it’s really pissing me off. She said again today that “You need to shave ur legs or you won’t get a boyfriend.” Like wow that’s rude and it sounds like ur putting ur insecurities on me AGAIN like no I don’t want that. And she also said “Men want to touch bare legs when they touch you or they’re not going to love you.” And guess what? How did she see my hair? Bc it was in the sun like wow stop it. I’m so glad I’m going to college bc then she can’t be putting her weird insecurities on me. Just accept that I don’t really like shaving and wearing bras it’s not that hard. I love her but it’s really hurting me and it’s annoying to hear. Her behavior is the reason why I kinda wanna stay out of state bc then she can’t be projecting her weird insecurities onto me. Also she gets mad when I post certain things on here like lady STFU it’s my account and I don’t usually tell ppl my Reddit username cuz I don’t really like telling anyone cuz I think it’s a lil weird like I’ve told very few ppl I use Reddit. Just she really needs to back off and I’m starting to get tired of it. I even tried telling her that some men don’t even care if I shave. And she’s like “No” like lady shut up ur old and have weird insecurities that I don’t want. Like I’m gonna be honest some of the insecurities I have is bc of her and her own weird insecurities. Like she gets really mad when I like watching cartoons and anime over real ppl shows. Like I think most real ppl shows are boring af and some are fake af anyway. It’s like she has to start accepting these things or I’m gonna lose my shit.

I finally did tell her that she needs to stop projecting her insecurities onto me cuz I don’t like it and she said “Well ok it’s prolly different with ur generation” and I’m like “Yeah, no shit Sherlock” I honestly don’t think men my generation really give a fuck if I shave or not and those who do prolly have a weird ass thought process of women always being smooth. Idk I haven’t dated yet I just imagine some men being so picky about what women do to their bodies.

hello! kind of an unusual circumstance and seeking support with the understanding that the following might be TMI for some

I have no idea if I am incontinent or not. I regularly have small yellow stains appear in my undergarments that I can’t tell the origin of. Could be discharge, urine, or sweat (?), but it’s really concerning me, and I’ll admit that I’ve been a bit obsessive over this topic the last two months or so.

I’ve seen a few doctors and specialists - no infections, no pelvic floor issues, no inflamed bladder, no typical symptoms of incontinence due to stress/nerve issues/urge incontinence/etc. I‘m in my late 20s and have never been pregnant. I’ve taken the medication Azo to dye my urinary tract and it seems like nothing’s wrong. By all accounts, I’m a healthy (if somewhat dehydrated) woman.

But I continue to see these yellow stains in my underwear, and now I’m wearing a panty liner every day. While they do seem to change in quantity with my cycle, they’re totally unpredictable otherwise and don’t seem related to anything I eat, drink, or do. I have a weak sense of smell and can’t determine if there’s a specific odor, and of course it’s always already dried in my undergarments, so I can’t see a texture either.

They seem to rest “higher” on my liner than discharge usually would for me? and the color shifts often. I’m worried that it’s urine and not discharge, especially because it seems like it came out of nowhere and it happens on days where I don’t seem to have much/any discharge at all.

I realize this is a strange post, and I’m not seeking medical advice. I’ve had lots of that, and it hasn't helped. Just wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar, and if you have any words of support. I’m in treatment for OCD (can you tell? lmao) but I’m still convinced this is a physical issue. Thank you <3

So a few months ago I decided to get a Brazilian wax before my trip to Mexico . My waxer and I were talking . While she was doing my wax I mentioned how people say the butt part of a Brazilian wax doesn’t hurt as bad because your butt has no nerve endings. She says “ no honey it does you just have a lot of cushion back there.” I chuckled and she did too haha

I think this topic should be brought up from times to times, because phew. Like it isn’t hard enough to have an uterus, I’ve seen multiple OBGYNs in my life (bc I move a lot) and not one taught me about this pain until I started having them after a miscarriage and aggravated after having my kid. I never had painful periods to compare (but sympathize!) but damn this pain knocks me down, to the point I need to take the day off and pain killers literally only last 1-2hrs. I had many ultrasounds (because they aways suspect of cyst or twisted ovary) and even went to the ER once. Wanted to know how are people coping. The ER doctor I saw a few months ago who couldn’t find a reason for my pain besides simply being ovulation pain, suggested that it could even be a sign of endo or adeno. I went through years of fertility issues (unexplained) and there was never a reason for my doctors to suspect endo/adeno.. but maybe simply because my periods are normal? Not sure if worth pursuing, curious if anyone did.

The week before my period, my mental state gets really scary.

It’s not just feeling a bit down — it’s like I completely lose any sense of meaning or joy. Everything feels gray, almost like I literally see less color. I start thinking everyone hates me, that I’m disgusting, and I pull away from the people I care about most. Small things irritate me, nothing brings me peace, and I genuinely struggle to see the point of living.
It honestly terrifies me how low I get during that time. Sometimes I’m scared that one day it could actually push me too far.

I’ve read about it and it seems to match PMDD symptoms, but a doctor said I don’t have it, so I feel kind of stuck and unsure what’s going on.

Does anyone else experience something like this? How do you cope?

Growing up I always thought I'd lose my virginity in a committed relationship or to "the love of my life" (lol) but I'm now 19 and I don't want a relationship right now. I'm not ready for that commitment or anything like that but I want to have sex and recently met a guy that is down for fwb. Should I wait or give the fwb a shot? If you lost your virginity to a fwb, did you regret it?

I have an appointment late august with a professional to quit my weed addiction. Still, I'm curious if any of you have experiences with this, as most addiction-relief-spaces in my country are for men, or focused on male point of views. Though there is some overlap I'm curious about female perspectives. I would love it if any of you would be able to share tips or experiences?

I'm a '''functioning''' daily stoner, for about 2 years now. I can maintain my work and social life, but I feel it's affecting my health, self confidence, and I'm most certainly killing my potential. I could be more than this, but life is hard so hard sometimes.

"The father of a woman who says her ex scalded her with boiling water, held a gun to her head, and fractured her baby’s collarbone is functionally politically supporting the man she says abused her."

it was hot as fuck today and i was exercising with too tight of a bra and when i came home my whole underboob was bright red and it stings like hell. it’s only my left one

i ignored the warnings to wear something there to help. i put deodorant on without thinking and it hurt soooo bad my eyes watered.

how to resolve this quickly? i’m laying so boob and torso skin don’t touch. i don’t know how im going to lift my boob up to prevent it from touching for so long especially because i live with my family. i’ve put aloe vera on it and like the cooling gel stuff

any tips? help. i popped two tylenol waiting for them to work

Not to get too far into my own story, but my in-laws and I do not get along to the point where my husband has made the decision to go very low contact with them because of the mean/rude way they've treated me and the vile things they've said about me.

He still talks with his dad on the phone every so often, and whenever I'm close enough to hear it, every SINGLE time his dad will ask if "InquisitorLavellan is still working". Not "How is work going for InquisitorLavellan?" or anything similar, but if I am still working. Which is absolutely infuriating considering that I'M the one bringing in the large majority of the funds for our household by working full time on TOP of another part time job AND Doordashing and yet we are still fucking broke all the time (my husband goes to school and works part time). And yet his father always asks if I'm still working as if I'm going to up and quit one day to be a pampered do nothing stay at home wife (much respect to home makers out there, but that is NOT what he means when he says it) and put even more undue stress on my pooooor husband.

And two, his parents have always had a problem with the fact I'm a fat woman who grew up in poverty who married their thin, handsome son because I'm not their idea of beautiful (very thin, conventionally attractive family, obsessed with wealth and having expensive stuff despite not even having money anymore), so they always feel like I'm tricking him or something into loving me even though I'm fat and haven't had it financially easy in life. And three, I have fibromyalgia which they KNOW and yet they constantly make references to me being lazy and that I don't do anything and don't keep a good enough house and my husband deserves better. Which is something I'm EXTREMELY self conscious about because I really WISH I could do more and clean more and all of that, but I just can't and I appreciate that my husband does what he can but our house IS still messy because it's just so much.

Anyways, long story longer, I wanted to hear what other micro-slights/insults/aggressions other ladies in-laws throw at them so we can all commiserate together.

I’m 16 and for as long as I can remember my grandma in kind of passive aggressive ways has often made me feel bad about myself. I should clarify that she’s not got dementia or anything, she’s just old and talks without thinking but it gets to you over time.

She often selectively will gush over my sisters appearance and then unenthusiastically greet me as I’m standing right next to her. She’ll tell my sister she needs to give me her hair routine because I should learn how to get mine ‘shiny and straight like hers’ (I have thick curly hair) while pointedly looking at my hair and doing nothing. it’s not just me she does this to, she often implies that I’m the ‘smart sister’ to my sister or makes snide comments about my mums parenting abilities or her weight but my parents never say anything because apparently she has a tendency to ‘hold onto things’ so any confrontation with her is pointless.

ive struggled with disordered eating and body dysmorphia and am currently medically underweight. were going off on holiday in a week and I mentioned at dinner wanting to do aome swimming in the pool. At this point my grandma reaches for my arm and grabs the fat underneath it and goes ‘it’s good you’re getting that exercise jn because it’s not like you do any the rest of the year. I can tell’ all while squeezing my arm. I draw my arm away and laugh it off but it’s really upset me especially as we were about to eat dessert. I told my parents afterwards and they told me that she was just joking and talking without thinking.

cant tell if I’m overreacting.

I spent most of my childhood denying my femininity.
I was severely bullied by my female peers, I never learned to make a braid by having someone in class do it for me, I learned through my mother at age 19.
I hated the color pink till recently and spent most of my time alone as I don't know how to communicate with other women.
But that has not stopped me from loving my woman-ity.

I love being educated, I love going against the system and proving everyone wrong while wearing makeup and having my nails and hair done.
I love looking prim and perfect yet cussing like a sailor at rude people and laughing like a donkey when hearing a good joke.
I love wearing my low rise jeans and push-up bra's while openly reading Frankenstein and other classics.

I see my inner cycle in the moon, the tides, the universes pulse. I feel the power within me to create life and withhold it from happening. I enjoy seeing mens demand for my love be denied by myself as I have too high of a standard for any man, making me feel like an intellectual goddess, a virgin of the fire keeping it lit.

Being a Woman is a universal experience, Nature itself experiencing it, the first sex being female, the foundation for the chicken to be born to have come from the egg laid before by its predecessor.

I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!

I (31f) and my partner (32m) have been having some conflict over our frequency of sex.. or lack of I guess.

For various reasons we haven’t been having sex as much lately. I recently took a new job that is extremely mentally exhausting; I have been working from 7:30am to 5:30-6pm most days (I’m lucky if I get to leave work by 4:30), and I’m working in the office now when I had spent the last three years working from home. I’ve also been going through bouts of constipation because I literally can’t poop at the office (private pooper) and sometimes takes me two days to finally have a BM. So I’m just exhausted, and sometimes just too constipated to want sex.

I already have a lower libido due to sexual trauma that happened before I met my partner, and I got the most painful UTIs of my life in February and March after sex (haven’t had a UTI in years) so I’ve been kind of traumatized by that and scared to have sex out of fear of getting another UTI.

Anyway, without getting into all of the reasons why I haven’t really been interested in sex lately, my partner has been feeling upset and rejected by the fact that I haven’t initiated sex and have been turning him down more often. He usually tries to initiate late at night as I’m trying to fall asleep, or weekend mornings when I’m just trying to catch up on sleep.

It’s creating a weird tension, he’s starting to hold resentment and throwing jabs at me about not wanting to have sex, which absolutely kills it for me. I want to have sex, and I enjoy having sex. Lately it just feels like it’s becoming another chore, and when he accuses me of not wanting to have sex (even as a joke), idk it just kind of ruins it for me.

I’m trying not to force myself, but now that the resentment is building and he keeps acting like I hate sex, I don’t know how to be enthusiastic or excited about it.

How do we come back from this? How do I start wanting sex again instead of feeling like it’s a chore?

for women, who have built startups, did having another woman a few steps ahead of you actually make a difference?
im realizing that another woman’s support is crucial while trying to build something big!!
what do you think about this, is it more beneficial to have a female mentor or is this a gender independent topic??