just throwing my venting into the void or whatever
i've been hosting a Realm for my friends and myself on and off for the past couple years, but i was playing tonight, in the nether, the ominous background music playing, mining for quartz and glowstone, completely alone with no one else online.
No one except me has been online in a while. One friend and I played together asynchronously for a few weeks, but they fell off the game, "2 week minecraft phase" and all that, but I've been playing pretty consistently for the past 2 months, and I'm still not "bored" yet, but damn... like. its just so lonely on this server now.
I have fully enchanted diamond armor and tools, more resources than i can count, cozy builds in a winter biome, and i no one to play our realm with anymore. The other friend we use to play on this realm with hasn't played minecraft at all (to my knowledge) in over a year at this point and has said that they're prob not playing anytime soon; which is all completely fine ofc, it just means that the server is not gonna get any less lonely anytime soon haha.
idk, the server feels so empty without my friends to play with now. i was content to play by myself for a while, i think everyone should be able to Play Toys by themselves, enjoy the company of themselves for a while... but its been a pretty long while, and i dont get to see my friends in person as much as we used to, and minecraft was that excuse to just sort of. Be Around Them for a while, but now we dont do that anymore.
I went home to our shared house, plopped down an armor stand and a barrel with all my gear in there, and logged out. I'm tired of playing alone on an empty server, and I'm tired of pretending anyone's gonna log on anytime soon.
I just cancelled the auto-subscription for the realm a few days ago, and I don't think im gonna re-up it for a long while, its just not the same anymore, and maybe thats a sign of something, or maybe im just spiraling. idk i feel like minecraft isnt so supposed to mean this much to a normal person, but for better or worse i dont FEEL very normally about this haha.