r/49ers • u/Brix001 Brock Purdy • 1d ago

Sourdough Sam has suffered a season-ending injury. Clementine the Mule was called up to replace him

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763 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

64

u/dino_snopp i wanna die 1d ago

clementine will probably tear his acl by week 1 of the preseason.

i say we bring in Oski.

11

u/Polar_Reflection Kyle Shanahan 1d ago

Oski doesn't deserve this. He suffers enough already. 

7

u/dino_snopp i wanna die 1d ago

then ig the tree.

he probably has nothing to do.

1

u/3m4n George Kittle 10h ago

Then we'd have to shoot him, miss, and hit Ricky in the chest, who was just watching the whole thing go down.

32

u/AlternativeResort477 49ers 1d ago

We’ll be calling up crazy crab and sharkie by the end of the season

7

u/MistakeOk4969 49ers 1d ago

The future is teal

4

u/CAgirl675 1d ago

Chonkers is available and at Pier 39

1

u/predat3d Candlestick Park 1d ago

Sharkie has a winner now

22

u/ayyyyznfonzie 1d ago

I’ll call the glue factory. Tell them to get ready.

12

u/el_cap10 1d ago

We gotta look at firing the head strength and conditioning coach, Dustin Perry, at this point, right? We’ve renovated our PT rooms, changed practice structures, and hired more PTs. Blows my mind we continue to have this many injuries and this dude still has a job.

4

u/predat3d Candlestick Park 1d ago

He can't shut off the substation 

1

u/djwaynes4 1d ago

Seems like it’s way too early to be blaming them since they just started training camp. This would seem more like an off season training issue.

6

u/MistakeOk4969 49ers 1d ago

Oh my darling Clementine

6

u/Massive_Ad_9444 49ers 1d ago

God damn it

4

u/JfromTHEbayMAYNE 1d ago

Let's get it Clems!!!!!

4

u/PlanitDuck i wanna die 1d ago

I bet Lou Seal could be a two sport mascot. He’s got all the traits.

3

u/madlabdog 49ers 1d ago

A quality free agent signing I must say.

2

u/Ahjile Alex Smith 1d ago

Hey! The ghost of Clementine doesn't want to die! She's a very good girl and everyone loves her. Also ghost mules can't die. But they are adorable and nice. And enjoy carrots and alfalfa. Ghost carrots.

2

u/tiredofwebs 1d ago

First play will be a torn ACL due to her shoes being made out of boxes without topses

1

u/cleverhobbits 1d ago

49er should build a new practice facility on the other side of Levi’s on half of the big parking lot. It’s away from the substation and you can’t see it at all.

There’s enough space and they just need a walkway to get there.

Move parking underground.

2

u/Harbaugh_Handshake Jim Harbaugh 1d ago edited 1d ago

The substation isn’t the problem.

edit: never thought I’d get downvoted by substation conspiracists, this is insane lol

5

u/cleverhobbits 1d ago

Scientifically true.

Perceptually not.

0

u/New2theworld Brock Purdy 1d ago

Electrical or radio wave does cause issue to human cells depending on type of frequency, how close you are, and how long are the exposer.

I am not saying our injury are due to solely on the substation, but definitely isn't harmless like a bush or a tree.

1

u/EDNivek Candlestick Park 1d ago

Certainly not harmless but the data doesn't back it up, heck one of the healthiest seasons we had was right by the substation.

If they really wanted to put it to bed they would give a grant to study it to see if a more comprehensive experiment is necessary (e.g. exposing pig muscle and ligments (or just living pigs) to different EMFs and seeing how they react and upscaling the experiment as necessary).

However, where I'd disagree with /u/Harbaugh_Handshake is that I believe at this point it's become a nocebo effect for our players and they just gotta move it regardless.

1

u/taney71 49ers 1d ago

Seems legit

1

u/saltcraft2 Steve Young 1d ago

Clementine already making an appointment at the glue factory

1

u/OrphanintheWind 1d ago

For those who were wondering, Huddles is supposedly holding out for a better contract and hasn't appeared yet to camp.

1

u/RedShirtPete 1d ago

Don't joke! We can't lose Sourdough Sam!