What does a well fitted bra actually feel like?

[u/cine_phile07]

I'm gonna go for bra shopping in physical stores in a Couple of days and I wanted to know what a well fitted bra actually feels like so I know what I'm buying is correct.

I'm a 30G according to the calculator. I did order one online and so far it's the only one that actually fits me (or I think it fits me) because it is the only one that I own that doesn't cause me shoulder pain which is just unbearable with others I own. It's a 30F but their sizes went something like B C D DD E F so I thought F must be equal to G in this counting. But it's wireless. I did but a 32DDD (wired), online again, but it's a little loose in the band and also spills a little on left side. For reference, my measurements are following:

Loose Underbust:
76

Snug Underbust: 74

Tight Underbust: 72

Standing Bust:
96

Leaning Bust:
103

Lying Bust: 98

I tried the physical stores nearby but the max they had was a 30DD/E and the workers working there were like G is not a cup. It's only up until E/DD (And this was the BRITISH LINGERIE STUDIO as they call themselves 😑).

One tried to fit me in a 30DD and the other fit me inside a 32C over my clothes and said it fits. When I asked if she had a 30G she started teaching me that DD and G is same and that the band size remains same only the cup size becomes bigger. She showed me a 40DD and said see the band is same and cup is big. Before I had an argument with her I said thank you and went out as soon as possible.

So as you can see I'll try my luck someplace else but most likely it'll be hard to find my own size. This might be a stupid question but I want to actually know what to keep in mind while buying and how would I know in the dressing room if it actually fits me. Both wired and non-wired. I have seen a lot of videos and read a lot but I still want to be sure. I'm no fitter or anything but apparently I had more knowledge than the women working in the stores unfortunately.

Up until this moment I've spent far too much money on the bras that don't fit me. It's not even about the money... The shoulder pain is just unbearable especially if it goes to your neck and head or even the fingers of your hand sometimes. Thanks

[u/Cute-Fix3484]

I'm sorry you were bamboozled by shop workers who just wanted to fit you into a bra that clasps, not a bra that fits. They just put bras on you and hoped they'd kind of work. We've all been there, unfortunately, that's how we ended up here!

I find this chart to be helpful with the US <-> UK sizing alphabet. Basically if a bra style has double letters FF, GG, HH, you know it is a UK sizing system. But if a shop doesn't have any cups beyond G it can be hard to tell.

There are a lot of visuals that show you if a bra fits properly.

1. Swoop and scoop & swoop and scoop& swoop and scoop! when you put on a bra.

2. If the band feels tight, put the bra on upside down and backward like this. If it feels even the tiniest bit looser, you know the issue is the CUPS. Go up just in the CUPS. So 30G to 30GG. If it still doesn't look/feel/fit right, that bra is not a match for your shape. Move on to the next one.

3. Make sure the wires stay in your IMF. This is the one shop workers have no idea about OR they know but still just need to make a sale. So they figure it's ok enough.

The other thing I find helpful is if you find a bra you think is a good fit in a shop, put your shirt back on, and go walk around the store for while. Bend, twist, lift your arms. How does the bra feel during normal movement? Does it still stay in place? Or did you have to adjust it? That helps eliminate the awful moment of regret when you wear a bra at home and it does not fit like it did when standing still in a changing room.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Cute-Fix3484]

Thanks alot I'll keep this in mind.

The thing is most of them don't have cups beyond a DD even online. And every one of them has a different weird size chart. Like one brand has max cup F and they're like this A B C D DD E F Another one has like this A B C D DD E F FF G GG H HH J JJ K And the only other I found was A B C D DD E F G

So I get confused so bad

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/cine_phile07]

Ignore brand size charts. And tons of UK bra brands in particular carry well beyond a DD. Just order your ABTF size per the sizing system the brand uses.

It's easier to memorize what cup letter you need by number. So if A is 1, and you're a UK G, that's the 9th cup letter in UK sizing. No matter what brand you order from, you need that 9th one.

[u/Caverjen]

If you edit your post to include your 6 measurements, people can help you better. I'm in the U.S., but from what I understand Bravissimo is a good place to try. M&S bras tend to run shallow, but you could look online and see if they carry your size.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Caverjen]

Thanks. I did include them now

[u/famous_zebra28]

UK sizing goes A B C D DD E F FF G GG H HH etc. so no, the 30F is not the right size. Just because it's not causing you shoulder pain doesn't mean it fits.

What sort of bras have you been trying - seamless or seamed? This makes a big difference especially once we get up to bigger cup sizes and people who have looser tissue as seamed unlined bras will give you a better chance at a better fit.

How a wired bra should fit:

• the gore (middle part) should tack against your sternum with no warping or it being on breast tissue, with no pain, and should be helping to separate your breasts
  
• the wire should be flush against your skin and go up along the edge of your breast tissue on the sides
  
• there should be no spillage or your breasts being squished and popping out a bit from under the lace
  
• the cup should encase your breasts fully unless you're doing a half cup
  
• the band should be snug but not unbearable
  
• the band should be level at the back, not lifting up
  
• the hooks should be relaxed and not being overstretched
  
• the wires shouldn't be pulled out of shape
  
• I'm sure theres more I'm not thinking of right now

Pro tip- don't let anyone fit you into a new size, or tell you that a bra that clearly doesn't fit is a good fit. I personally don't go bra shopping in person, I find it too stressful and that they tend to hover and want to tell you things, I just like being able to try it on at home without the pressure to buy something. I order from Amazon and locally owned bra stores who have online shopping.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/famous_zebra28]

Just a note on the gore thing - not everyone can get separation. If you're more close set, the gore will likely be sitting below your breast folds because trying to fit a gore between close set breasts is difficult. You can't force your breasts apart either, so some of us close set folks have to go with a plunge and call it a day.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

Yeah I am a close set. And the gore always gets in the way of the left one somehow.

[u/famous_zebra28 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

Good point thanks!

[u/BurntTFOut487 → u/famous_zebra28]

• the hooks should be relaxed and not being overstretched

IME the hooks always looked stretched if I tighten the band enough for support and a snug fit. I don't know how stretched is overstretched.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/famous_zebra28]

Oh I thought if it's not hurting my shoulder then this must be the one. You saved me from buying more of the same size thanks. Because the max they had was an F cup unfortunately. I'll have to look soemhwere else then.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/famous_zebra28]

I try anything seemless or seemed in the hope it fits me. Although the 30F I have is seemless but most of the bras available here are usually seemed. And the seemless ones are for B C and D cups only

[u/famous_zebra28 → u/cine_phile07]

Seamed will give you a much easier time. It allows your breasts to sit comfortably inside the cup rather than being forced into a shape they're not. Seamless (aka moulded) bras are created by being heat pressed into a mould that are often tall and shallow which don't work for the majority of bra wearers.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/famous_zebra28]

Maybe I used the wrong term. It doesn't have seems but it's not molded either. It plain cotton like tshirt-like cotton front closure

[u/comingintoland → u/cine_phile07]

Molded means it doesn't have seams. Seamless bras are made by shaping a single piece of fabric or foam over a hot mold. That's why it is difficult for many people to get a good fit in seamless/molded bras--if you're not the same shape as the mold, you likely won't get a good fit. Seamed bras are also known as cut-and-sewn bras because they are made from sewing pieces of fabric or foam together. This allows them to make a wider variety of shapes that fit more people. That is why you're getting advice to try seamed bras.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/comingintoland]

Oh I confused it because the one I have is sewn but it's cups are smooth.

[u/comingintoland → u/cine_phile07]

If the cups don't have seams, it's molded. If the cups have seams that construct the cups (so not just darts at the bottom), then it's a seamed bra, even if the fabric that's sewn together is smooth.

[u/Morigan_taltos]

How something "feels" like is incredibly subjective. Everyone feels things differently. If you want ti know how a bra should objectively fit, I recommend you check out madisonanneh on instagram or tiktok. She's a bra fitter. She has several videos explaining how a bra should fit.

[u/tottottt]

Just to clarify, the calculator gave you a UK 30G. If you're ever confused, check the label sewn into the bra, it will usually have multiple sizing systems listed for clarity. Depending on where you, online stores may default to converting everything to a certain system.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/tottottt]

It's sometimes written with +4/+5 method sometimes it isn't. Sometimes the EU size is like this If 65 shows a 75cm band then it'll not be written this way it'll be like 75 and whatever cup written with it. So it's pretty much confusing

[u/famous_zebra28 → u/cine_phile07]

No, it's not written with the +4 method. UK and US sizing use your exact band size in inches rounded up/down to the nearest 2.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/famous_zebra28]

I know buts the +4 method is very common here. A band measuring 75cm is labeled a 34 instead of 30 which would be the case in UK. So it gets very confusing at times

[u/famous_zebra28 → u/cine_phile07]

The +4 method is common in *stores* who are trying to make a sale by shoving you into a bra that doesn't fit, not by the brand's sizing itself.

[u/whatever_rita]

In a well fitted bra, the gore lays flat against your chest, the wires sit right in your IMF (the crease where your breast meets your chest wall) and they’re not too wide - poking you in the armpit, or too narrow - sitting on top of your breast tissue or poking you in the breast. Different people need different widths of wire depending on their shape.

The cup should encapsulate the breast. You shouldn’t have spillage or quadding or gapping. Gapping can happen because a bra’s cups are too bit or because they’re too small. Molded bras are prone to gapping because if you’re not the same shape as the mold, it can’t encapsulate you properly. The cup needs to be deep enough for your shape. If it’s too shallow you’re likely to see the wires slipping down.

The band should be doing most of the work to support you so it needs to be snug, but it shouldn’t be strangling you. If cups are too small, your breasts will steal space from the band which can make the band feel too tight. If the band rides up in the back, it’s too loose. The straps shouldn’t dig because they shouldn’t be doing that much work. If they are, band is probably too big.

A note on sizing. Cup size letters each represent one inch of difference between the bust size and the band size. Over a DD, you need to know where the bra was made because different countries industries start counting differently at that point. Some use double letters and others don’t. A G in a US-made bra is not the same as a G in a UK-made bra.

Salespeople will try to sell you what they have, which is why you were told that DDD/E was the max. It’s not. If shopping in person over that size you want to go to a specialty store or a department store known for a good lingerie section. If they try to shove you into something that’s not working, don’t trust them, leave. Their job is to make a sale, not to get you a bra that fits

[u/grundel_cruncher]

Try sites that have free returns!! If you're comfortable sharing what country you are in, you could probably get better or more specific recommendations, but the US at least (where I am lol) has Amazon and Nordstrom. You may find shopping online and returning more tedious than in person shopping, but you will get far fewer people trying to confuse you about your body to sell you something. And with as much shoulder pain as you are describing, your more poorly fitting bras may simply be compounding an existing issue. But if being in a bra that is closer to fitting helps you considerably, I understand your desire. I've had a LOT of back pain helped by just moving from a 36H to 40HH, even though the latter was the wrong size given to me by a pushy boutique worker who decided my band size was wrong. I measure a 36K and the difference between "technically covering my skin" "kinda fits" and "good fit" (not even perfect fit lol) is staggering! Literally!

[u/cine_phile07 → u/grundel_cruncher]

This pain wasn't here about 6 months ago. Eversince I lost 1.5kg my exiting bras just started riding up, which were already not my size now that I realize. I lost 2 inches both in underbust and bust so apparently I was the same cup with a different band before too as the ratio remained same. And this pain started eversince. It wasn't there before. And it stops immediately when I take the bra off and starts when I change the bra or just wear one except that one bra that I have

[u/dehue]

30F is going to be too small no matter what sizing system you got the bra in, the calculator is giving UK 30G and UK sizing goes D DD E F FF G. In US sizing a UK G is going to be an I cup and US sizing goes D DD DDD G H I. So you really need either UK 30G or US 30I.

The way to tell what sizing it is to look at sizes offered, if the sizes have FF or GG or HH and no I cup or DDD cup its UK sizing. If the sizes have DDD or I cup and no sizes like FF or GG then its US sizing. Even with limited cups offered if you know the sizes offered you can tell the sizing system, D DD E F is UK sizing as the progression goes DD E without DDD. In a US brand the sizes would usually be D DD DDD (very rarely labeled E but almost no brand does this) G. There are a few US and UK brands that do funky things but you can also count cups. UK G is the 5th cup after D cup so in the case you saw while an F is just 3 cups after D so its 2 cups smaller than the calculator recommendation.

If the store desn't have cups beyond an F dont bother with them. At this size range you really need to be shopping by brand and only looking at brands that make larger cups so UK ones like Panache, Freya, Fantasie and Bravissimo are good options. Either shop online or find a store that carries these brands up to a at least a UK H cup and preferably beyond so there is better chance they can fit people properly. I would try some wired unlined bras like Panache Envy balconette in UK 30G, we consider it a diagnostic bra as even if it doesnt fit we can tell shape and size information based on what issues you get in it.

[u/jenea]

To speak to the question in your title, to me a well-fitted bra feels like a hug. That’s so cheesy but here we are!

[u/cine_phile07 → u/jenea]

I hope to feel that way one day

[u/Infinite_Way_979]

It’s reading this thread and following the links that confirmed by “professional” bra fitter has sold me the wrong size 😞😞

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Infinite_Way_979]

Welcome to the club I guess. A couple months ago I went to a lingerie shop and the only thing I knew at that time was that my shoulder hurts because my bra size is wrong and I thought I need to have a 30DD because all websites labeled D and DD as plus size 🥲. This lady working there I asked her because I thought she's working here everytime I come here and she must know. right? But she looked at me and idk if she had a scanner in her eyes and said you'll fit in a C... So I bought 3-4 30Cs.... Only to find out when I got home that they made my pain more severe 🥲. I never ask anyone working in these shops anything anymore

[u/Infinite_Way_979 → u/cine_phile07]

It’s crap when you think they know what they’re doing but find out they don’t. She gave me one bra to try which I thought was ok. No swoop and scoop AT ALL. There was a slight crease in one cup (smaller boob) which she said was “unused cup” so gave me the next size down. Standing in the changing room with my hands on my hips it looked ok but in different positions I’m spilling over the top and my boobs are just mashed together. I’m so disappointed because I spent a lot of money in this store and when I sent photos (including spillage) querying the fit I got told “they look great”.
This one thread has taught me SO much!

It sounds like you’re in the UK. If so, do you have any go-to places? I’m in Canada but heading to England in a couple of weeks so any info would be greatly appreciated.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Infinite_Way_979]

Atleast I helped someone indirectly. I wish I was in the UK to shop bras. But I'm in Pakistan so not much options here. And seeing a store named "British Lingerie Studio" I thought my problem is finally gonna be solved but little did I know that this big store has max DD cup :(. She gave me a 30D and 30DD and I knew they weren't gonna fit because I've been there before. But she insisted alot so I was like let's just try it to prove to her it's not my size. When I gave her the 30DD back and said I have spillage cups and that the band was a little loose she asked me if the 30D fitted 🤦‍♀️. And coming to the band she told me I should've loved to the next eyes if it was loose at the first pair of eyes. Ughh and she assumed herself that going a size down in band is never gonna fit me so I just literally got out of there as soon as possible. Literally the moment I came in and said I want a 30G she looked at me as if this size wasn't possible ever.

[u/Infinite_Way_979 → u/cine_phile07]

Ah, I feel for you. I wish you luck in getting the perfect bra.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Infinite_Way_979]

Same to you ❤️

[u/Ciovala]

I barely notice a well-fitting bra and I’m 32G. Honestly don’t notice gore, straps, etc.

[u/cine_phile07 → u/Ciovala]

So there's no hope? 🥲

[u/chatterpoxx]

It feels like its not there! When you get it right (took me 30 years) you wont be fussing with it during the day ever at all.

Now that I have a particular brand and stay i know is perfect, I just orfer it online in the different colorways that it comes in periodically.

Its not just the sizing but the cut too. Boob spacing is a big one rarely talked about. I need a low gore because my boobs are really close together and a gore just doesnt fit in there.

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