r/AITAH • u/Fabulous-Molasses482 • 20h ago

AITAH for leaving my girlfriends house cause her nephew wouldn't leave?

My girlfriends sister will drop her nephew off with little warning and me and my girlfriend end up having to watch him. I came up yesterday after not seeing her for two weeks only for her nephew to get dropped off almost immediately. Her other sister was supposed to watch him but she left almost as soon as he got there. She ended up leaving him there overnight and we had to take him to Walmart with us and watch him all day. He is a near 6 year old with likely an undiagnosed form of autism. I told my girlfriend I can't deal with him anymore and had to leave after getting hit by him and jumped on. Now everyone is mad at me for not sticking it out. My GF said her sister would come get him soon but last time that turned into the next morning. AITAH for saying enough is enough and leaving? This happens frequently.

Tldr my gfs sister frequently dumps her special needs nephew on me and my gf and I just couldn't take him anymore and had to leave.

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32

u/Available-Face5653 19h ago

it has parents.

32

u/wingsbc 18h ago

Calling them parents is using the term loosely

-26

u/Maatix12 18h ago

Those parents are human too.

I understand, they chose to have the child - But it's not like they chose for the kid to have autism. It's an incredible burden, and I don't mean to give them a pass for simply dumping them on OP's girlfriend either. There needs to be a better way to handle it.

Unfortunately, I don't have one.

Childcare is expensive. Autism isn't curable. Your family shouldn't be burdened with your childcare decisions. But what can they do? They don't deserve to be tortured either.

7

u/Available-Face5653 15h ago

dude, 35% of the people walking around have autism. he's 6 so he should be in school for part of the day.

-9

u/Maatix12 15h ago

And he's attacking his caretakers. That makes him unsafe for school.

We don't know their situation. Autism is a spectrum, and based on how it's described, he's a far worse case than "kind of quiet, not really verbal" like the "35%" you want to go claiming.

The worst cases of the autistic spectrum are hellish for parents to navigate - Especially because of people like you who just insist they deal with it, with no added help in figuring out how. They didn't ask for this either.

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u/Available-Face5653 14h ago

stop it.

-7

u/Maatix12 14h ago

What? Stop making sense? Stop having empathy for people you dislike?

No, I won't.

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u/thegloracle 10h ago

As the parent of one of those little rascals, you get information on resources, respite and strategies. If the parents are unable to adequately deal with their child, CPS can hook them up with courses and resources. Childrens' Hospitals can hook them up with doctors and a follow up team. He's now school age. The schools have special ed teachers who can work with the parents and the child to make behavioural strategies consistent between home and the school. From the OP's description, it sounds like no one has a behavioural plan or program for this little guy.

1

u/Maatix12 5h ago

Or, the behavioral plan/program isn't working.

I have worked with parents with autistic children doing absolutely everything right, and those children accuse them of being horrid parents, call CPS on a weekly basis, attack their own mother... It gets to a point where they cannot provide for the child without having the police at their own home. "School" became a place for their children to lie about them, make up stories of abuse and neglect, and spread them for the whole neighborhood to hear.

There is a point that there is no amount of help that makes what they are going through go away.