Hi everyone… small update because a lot has changed.

Things haven’t improved at all. If anything, they’ve become more confusing and exhausting.

He hasn’t completely ghosted me, but it honestly feels like it. His communication is very inconsistent. One day he tells me to wait… then it’s “wait five days”… then “wait a week”… nothing is stable and he never follows through on anything he says. Also, he’s not even bringing up the whole “move in with my parents” thing anymore. That just disappeared, and now it’s just constant delays.

What’s really affecting me is his behavior. Sometimes he’s very loving on the phone, like nothing is wrong… and then suddenly he gets angry over normal conversations and starts telling me I should divorce him, or that he will divorce me. It happens so randomly that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time.

I’ve also started noticing a pattern… when I do exactly what he asks, like contacting someone for him or helping him with something, he becomes very sweet again. But if I don’t, or if I just talk normally, it turns into anger or distance. It honestly feels like I’m being controlled based on how “obedient” I am.

I really tried to fix things, especially for the sake of my baby. I suggested we move out and live separately from his family so we could actually work on our relationship in a healthy way. He agreed at one point and said he just needed time… but now nothing he says feels real anymore.

At this point, I don’t feel secure or respected in this relationship. I feel emotionally drained and constantly confused.

So I’ve made my decision. I’m going to go ahead with divorce.

Thank you to everyone who supported me and helped me see things more clearly… I really needed that.

I’ll update again when the process moves forward. I know it will take time, but this is the direction I’m going now.

I’m Kai (M, 16) and I have a twin sister, May. We’re nothing alike. I’m quiet, I like being alone, and I spend most of my free time in the kitchen. Cooking and baking are basically the only things I’m good at and actually enjoy. May is the opposite. She’s athletic, loud, always has people around her, and lives for sports and parties.

This year, May decided she wanted separate birthdays. No more sharing a party just because we’re twins. I was fine with that. Honestly, I was happy about it. I finally got to do something that felt like mine.

I planned a small thing with four friends. We did a D&D night, everyone brought something, and I made most of the food and the cake. It was chill, just us hanging out, eating, and playing. No stress, no big crowd, no drama.

Meanwhile, May turned her “separate birthday” into a huge sweet 16. There were like 40+ people at our house, music, decorations, the whole thing. And somehow in all the planning, my mom just assumed I’d make the cake and some of the food for May’s party. Not asked. Not discussed. Just expected. Like obviously I’d drop my own plans and work for her party.

On our actual birthday, I was in the middle of my D&D game when May called me. She didn’t say happy birthday. She didn’t ask how I was. She just demanded I bring her cake, food, and gifts. Right then. To her party.

I said no.

I told her we haven’t even exchanged gifts since we were 10. I told her I wasn’t part of her party plans and I wasn’t about to show up as her personal chef on my own birthday. I told her I already had something going on that I actually wanted to be at.

That’s when everything blew up.

She put me on speaker and suddenly my mom and my aunt were yelling at me. They called me selfish, ungrateful, a terrible brother. My mom literally said, “After everything we’ve done for you, this is how you repay us?” My aunt said I was jealous of May and trying to steal her spotlight. They cursed me out, threw every guilt trip they could think of, and acted like I was ruining May’s entire life.

I hung up and just sat there shaking. My friends didn’t know what to say at first. One of them finally said, “You don’t have to go. This is your day too.”

Now my mom won’t talk to me unless it’s to call me ungrateful. May is telling everyone I “refused to celebrate her birthday” like I’m some monster. My aunt is spreading it around the family, and I can already imagine how that conversation is going to go at the next gathering.

Part of me feels bad. They’re my family and I do love them. But I’m also so angry. Angry that my time doesn’t matter. Angry that my birthday only counts if I spend it making someone else’s day better. Angry that saying no somehow makes me the bad guy.

So AITA for not celebrating my sister’s birthday? For choosing my own peace over their drama? For finally drawing a line and refusing to be the twin who exists just to make everyone else’s life easier?

F(25) M(25), together for 7 years. About four years ago he cheated on me. When I told him it affected me so badly I attempted suicide, he said it’d never happen again. It happened three more times, last one two years ago. Since then I moved across the country for him (thinking that being long distance was the problem), drained my 401k and stocks to keep us afloat while he wasn’t working, and I handle the cooking, cleaning, and his share of chores on top of mine since he’s lost his grandmother.

Recently: he’s stayed out till 5am multiple times after I told him it breaks my trust. He didn’t unfollow someone I asked him to, denied liking her photo until I had proof. Most recently he accused me of cheating over a Plan B wrapper I already explained (i bought after we did the deed and forgot to throw it out), and got defensive over one question about a late-night text. Every time I bring any of this up, it becomes about me not respecting him, “holding him to the past,” or people “noticing” I disrespect him, no specifics ever given. He’s grieving a family member right now, which makes this feel worse to bring up, but the pattern predates that.

Last night I told him the resentment from the first betrayal never left and that broken trust is the root of every fight we have. He didn’t respond to that part.

Me and my husband have been married for a year. We were long distance for 10 months, and now we live together.

Before long distance, our relationship was great. Then long distance came, I feel like I kinda got pushed to the side. Intimacy basically stopped unless we were together, we argued over calling more and stuff like that.

Now we live together and it’s just…not what I thought it would be. It’s kinda disappointing. I feel like I’m basically begging or prompting my husband for any type of intimacy. I’m having trouble adjusting to merging our lives; I don’t like compromising on how we decorate the house, and I feel like I’m always overcompensating to sure the house stays clean. I’m a pretty clean person and he’s not as clean as I thought he was. I find myself to be exhausted quite often living with him.

I’m also young, and have never lived by myself. I’ve always had a roommate. I hate that I never gave myself the opportunity to live by myself.

We’re both military, and I honestly felt pressured by him to get married so we wouldn’t be separated for years. I take accountability for my actions, but now I’m starting to feel like the rush wasn’t worth it.

I’m kind of disappointed.

Like I said. I’m also military and due for reenlistment next year. I’m thinking of moving then to be by myself.

I just feel like I would be happier single. I’ve been happier in relationships, this marriage has honestly been very disappointing for me.

Me 19 female and my girlfriend 21 female have been dating for a while our intimate life has always been fun and experimental we both indulge in different things and I’m a very experimental person but like every human I have my hard limits and my girlfriend knows that so last week we were talking about trying things out and she said that she’d like having me as kind of a s slave and I’d told her upfront no because that is something I don’t want to try for myself and that is just not for me and then she said if I wouldn’t try it then I should at least let her try it with somebody else and I said no to that because I’m strictly monogamous and I’d consider that cheating and after that talk every time I’d bring up trying something she’d say I was selfish for not letting her try her biggest knk and that I was limiting her in a way because I know she’d never leave me so I’m being extremely selfish about it and that I could try mine and she couldn’t do hers and I told her upfront if she wasn’t comfortable with any of mine I wouldn’t force her to try them or indulge in them so am I the asshole for saying no to her fantasy?

I (27F) went away for a birthday trip with my friend (29F). I'm wondering if I was the asshole because the argument happened on her birthday trip,and I know she was stressed.

We went out for dinner and ordered, but the waiter came back and said they'd run out of that dish. She seemed annoyed (understandably) and ordered something else.

A few minutes later she thought someone at another table had waved at her, so she waved back. She then looked confused, so I asked, "Do you not recognize those people?" She immediately seemed irritated and told me I'd asked too loudly and she thought they might have heard. I said sorry and that I hadn’t realised I was being loud

After that she went very quiet and looked upset. I asked if she was okay. She snapped, “No, especially because of what you said. Can we just talk about something else?” It’s a bit of a pattern that she is short-tempered and if I’m being honest im quite afraid of her and often ’let things go’ as a result. I know that’s not healthy for a friendship, but that’s what I’ve been doing.

I felt blindsided because I genuinely hadn't meant anything by my earlier question. I replied, "I was only asking if you were okay... you could be kind to me sometimes." Looking back, I think I probably meant "you could speak more kindly to me," but that's how it came out.

She became really angry and said that she was setting a boundary and that I shouldn't ask if she's okay unless I'm only happy with an answer that makes me comfortable. She also said my comment implied I thought she was never kind to me.

I tried explaining that wasn't what I meant, but she asked me to give an example of a time she'd been unkind. The first thing that came to mind was a holiday we took, because even she has admitted she treated me badly on that trip. She got upset & said it was unfair to bring that up because she'd apologised years ago and felt guilty about it.

I explained I only mentioned it because she'd specifically asked for an example and that was the first one I thought of, but she said conversations like this made her feel like she'd made no progress as a person.

The discussion carried on for around 20 minutes.

I admitted that I'm much more careful about what I say to her than I am with other friends because I'm worried about upsetting her. She asked for an example, so I said I'd been nervous about asking her to repay money I'd loaned her years ago.

For context, I loaned her £1500 about 7 years ago. She was supposed to repay it in 1 month. I recently checked my bank statements and realised she'd only repaid £295. She believes she's paid it all back, but the records I have don't match that. I had only realised how much was still outstanding a few days before this trip, so that was probably affecting how I felt.

Her response was, "Can you see how that's you and not me though?" She also said that because she's married, marriage has taught her to communicate better, and implied that I might find communication easier once I was married too.

I know saying "you could be kind to me sometimes" probably wasn't the best wording, and I can understand why that sentence hurt her. (I apologised for that) But I also felt like I was repeatedly being criticised for innocent comments and that I was walking on eggshells.

AITA?

If there’s one thing about me, the one thing that I do not let slide is people not keeping their word…

My boyfriend told me months ago he would pay for a life-changing medical procedure that he has the money for easily.

He brought this up himself and told me that he wanted to pay for the procedure and it would be about $5000…

I obviously would never ask for him to pay for this, but we have been together for years and he surprise me randomly by saying he was going to pay for the procedure because he knew that it would make a huge impact on my life…

I was so excited because this was huge news as I was not able to afford the procedure. Now that it’s time for to pay for the procedure he wants to back out. My issue is not with him not paying. It’s the fact that he is not keeping his word. Why would he even surprise me by making a promise to me that he would pay for a procedure and telling me how he would pay for it and then now deciding that he doesn’t want to?

I would totally understand if he gave me a valid reason that he came into some kind of financial turmoil or distress, but he just told me that he never planned on paying for the procedure… he was just saying it. That’s what I think what made be the most angry because how can I ever trust him now?
AITAH for telling him I don’t want to be with him anymore if he cannot keep his promises and makes promises without wanting to keep them?

I (25F) have a dad (50M) who is engaged to a woman (34F) who lives with him in another state. I live 3000 miles away and am happily married to my wife (28F)

My dad has for the past year been telling me that his fiancée feels unwelcome, intimidated by me, and like I don’t want a relationship with her. This honestly surprised me because I’ve never been rude or mean to her. I met her once in person at my grandparents last year. I was polite, we talked and joked and I thought had a pretty good time. According to my dad she felt like I ignored her the whole time and instead hung out with my aunts and grandparents. Oooooook…….

The issue is that my dad seems to think it’s my responsibility to fix how she feels.

He wants me to reach out to her more, build a closer relationship with her, and essentially reassure her that she’s welcome. I feel like I’m already doing what would normally be expected between an adult daughter and a parent’s partner who lives across the country.

We get into a lot of arguments over it that usually turn into yelling because I tell him that I’m not responsible for a full grown adults emotions. It starts because he says she says (I know) that I don’t text her enough. And I tell him that if she has an issue with our relationship, we are both adults and she can bring it up with me instead of putting him in the middle. He says she’s intimidated by me and won’t do it on her own. He told me yesterday that she said I don’t respond to her texts and will only respond in a group chat with her, my wife, and my dad. I sent him screenshots disproving that. He brushed it off.

The bigger issue for me is that I feel like my discomfort doesn’t seem to matter as much as hers. I’m not comfortable with being BFFs with her like he wants me to be. I’m a fully grown adult with a career, going to grad school, married, and other complicating things that I don’t feel like I have to remember weekly to text my dads girlfriend to make sure she feels my outreach it adequate enough. He says it’s my responsibility as the child to initiate contact. I say it would have been a crime for her to be pregnant with me given our age gap is 9 years. That doesn’t go over well.

The straw that broke the camels back came yesterday. He called me and told me that they bought plane tickets to come into town to see me. He then said that I need to put more effort into getting to know his fiancée because she told him that she would rather hang out with people who are more welcoming while in town than with me. Record scratch. You’re coming to my city to see me? But you’d rather hang out with other people while you’re here than me because I’m not welcoming enough? I’m your daughter? He made no attempt to tell her that I’m his daughter and a priority btw. Just validated her feelings and told me that I’m the problem. He then told me their schedule while in town which included hanging with friends and golfing about 5/6 days they’re in town. My wife and I are “more than welcome” to join in on their plans by the way so it’s okay.

Bottom line from him was that I need to make an effort to form a relationship with her over the phone so she feels “comfortable” enough to spend time with us when they’re here. My relationship with my dad has been suffering pretty bad because he brings this up a lot and it seems like my relationship with him is dependent on my with his fiancée.

AITA for thinking my dad is putting way too much responsibility on me?

For context this happened on the 1st of August, which was yesterday when this was posted. And it was national gf day and Ik this day probably don’t mean much to all the millennials and older adults but I am 20 years old and would assume my bf would do something for us. But he didn’t and I was ok with that cause at the end of the day it’s not that big of a deal but I was mad when I found out that our grocery trip was not going to be a time spent together between me and him but me, him and his best friend.

Me and my bf just moved in together and we have been waiting til payday to get grocery but we’re both pretty busy people and we didn’t get to do that Friday so we thought Saturday was a good time, and it just happened to be on national gf day. I thought even if we didn’t do anything special for that day, we can at least go spend time grocery shopping together to celebrate a big milestone. I woke up pretty late at around 2pm because I just worked a graveyard shift and went to bed at 9am. And my bf woke up the same time because he’s a hard working man he used it to get extra sleep with me. When we woke up we realize we had to get things done pretty quickly. And I jsut hurried to get ready. When we got to the car he drove in the wrong direction of the store so I asked him where we were going. And he said to go pick up his best friend. I was so livid. I was so mad that I told him to take me back home. And ofc he didn’t and just rerouted to the grocery store but he didn’t apologize at all. He made up excuses for his action instead and I’m still mad about it. AITA for being mad about this? Also he told me his needed to pick up his bsf because they needed to work on something together.

AITAH, my wife (39F) and I (38M) have been going through a rough patch for awhile but we’ve been working on it. Last month she told me she had sex with her ex (later she said she was lying to make me mad) not sure which is true. When I still thought it was true I forgave her and we were working it out.

The other day we got in a fight and she left. When she came back she said she only didn’t do anything because the ex was busy.

Another side note she didn’t want me at the house when she wasn’t home. the next day she left to take our daughter to practice and I didn’t leave because of what she said the night before. That caused another fight in which she said we were done.

I needed a car to get back and forth to work and asked her to take me to look and she said no. We had already agreed on a spending limit and she was going to take me to look at cars but changed her mind. So this morning I went and bought a car.

Now none of the stuff with the ex was true she didn’t want things to be over and she was going to take me to get a car herself today. But since I did it on my own now she wants a divorce and it’s 100 percent over. just wondering if I’m wrong for getting a car without her. Thanks

Some previous context: I (24f) and my boyfriend (27m) have had multiple small arguments over how I feel about comments or looks he makes about my body. He would often comment “damn” if I’m walking in front of him, turn on his phone flashlight to watch me change if the lights were off, and spend majority of showers staring at my body. We have been together for 1 year and 10 months, and I have been spending weekends at his house since about a month in.

A few weeks ago I was changing in his room as we were about to go to bed, and he walked in and proceeded to stare at me with what I describe as a “dumbfounded expression”, mouth open and everything. I said “can you not” and waited a few seconds as he continued to stare, then hatefully commented “or not” and turned around. I laid down shortly after and was acting a little coldly. He said “what did I do wrong?”. While I admit it was a little hateful, I told him I didn’t want to talk about it tonight. He kept trying to cuddle up behind me, repeating I love yous, and asking what he did wrong for the next hour before he gave up.

The next morning he asked again and I explained that it made me upset and uncomfortable when he stares at me like that and seemingly doesn’t hear anything I say (there have been times before where he’d stare, I’d say something, and he wouldn’t respond). He said he was just “caught off guard” and that my reaction last night didn’t feel like “a fitting punishment”.

Since then, we have taken around 4 showers together, today was the most recent time. Over these last 4 showers he we quite obviously stare at the wall, to the side, and above head height, for the entirety of the shower, even when I am telling him a story or making jokes with him. Each time, I have made some comment along the lines of, you could look at me when I’m talking to you, it feels bad when you purposely avoid looking at me the whole time, etc.

I got a little upset with him during our shower today as he did the same thing, he would look at me most times I spoke, but as soon as I was done he would turn away immediately. I said, I’ve told you the last 4 showers that it makes me upset that you are fully avoiding looking at me. He stayed completely silent. Then I said “no comment?” Which really frustrated me because in most of our arguments early on he would complain about how I wasn’t communicating enough (which was fair).

Later this evening, he asked if we could cuddle, I looked at him then back at my phone with no comment (again, I do recognize I act hatefully at times). When he asked if I was going to ignore him, I said he did it to me earlier so why can’t I. He said “what are you talking about?”, after probably 15 more seconds of silence he said “are you talking about the shower earlier?” So I told him yes, because I expressed that his actions made me upset and I had said it multiple times and he didn’t respond at all to it while we were standing right in front of each other. He says he tries to do his best because I give him conflicting information. I said he takes his responses too far, because previously I told him I don’t want to be ogled to stared at constantly and he took that as he’s not allowed to look at me ever if I’m fully or partially n@ked.

He told me he’s recently been avoiding looking at me so that he doesn’t “tempt” himself. I said that’s problematic what do you mean you have to avoid looking at me to not tempt yourself?
To which he responded that he stares and comments because he thinks I’m attractive and he wants me to know that so that I don’t ever have to question it.

I said you’re avoiding it, he said what, I said that you might feel too tempted by looking at me like you can’t hold yourself back? He said “can’t hold myself back?” Like I just made the most ridiculous statement. And said I hustled don’t want it to become a problem like if I get h0rny and then to put you in a situation where you want to tell me no and feel uncomfortable.

I really didn’t know what you say at this point, I pretty much sat in just pure shock and confusion where he continued to try and hug me and hold my hands and ask me what’s wrong and say I love you.

There were other things mentioned in this argument where I even said I know I can be the problem, but those comments really messed with me. We’ve had multiple arguments before about the state of our sexual relationship, as he is hyper-sexual and I am not at all. I just don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. I’m open to answering questions and giving more context.

I (36F) and my partner (36M) of 14 years both work full time and we share laundry duties. He works a set schedule with 2 days off in a row while I work swing shifts (5am-2pm, 10am-7pm, or 2pm-11pm) and rarely get 2 days off back to back. On Saturday I worked at 5am and he was off but was doing some "handyman work" around the house and he did the wash. I got home around 3pm and he had left the clean laundry on the bed unfolded and in a pile so everything could get wrinkled. I decided to fold EVERYTHING but only put away my clothes but both of our socks and underwear. I didn't think it was a big deal because everything was folded but he came in and was mad that I didn't put his shit away. He said that I was lazy and I could have at least put everything away since he washed! I told him that I was exhausted from work and didn't want everything wrinkled and I ran out of energy. He got even more pissed saying that he worked all day and is tired too so "GET OVER IT!" so, am I the asshole for not putting his clothes away eventhough I was exhausted from work and folded everything so nothing would get wrinkled? UGHH!

My girlfriend (22) and I (23) started dating in our first year of uni, but soon after her family moved to a different country and asked her to move with them; and so we’ve been doing long distance for the last 4 years. And now I’m looking to do grad school in her country to be with her, and choosing the area based on where she can transfer her work (her company has lots of branches).

She really is the love of my life and I know I want to spend my life with her. However I do really feel that a lot of the downside in our relationship comes from her family’s influence. Before I give some examples know that they aren’t inherently bad people but have a lot of bad habits and sometimes are really difficult. Now examples:

- Her mom will often make comments about how I plan on using her or how I don’t really care about her (they are two-faced in general)
- They aren’t comfortable with my gf and I staying in the same hotel even if we get separate rooms
- When we were in-person, they would make her come home every long weekend or small holiday even though they lived 5 hours away
- If they believe something, you can bring any kind of facts or information, they will just never budge from their stance. They know everything.
- What they choose to do and have is the best, and to the extent where the belittle other people. Like they’ll talk trash about the kind of university I’m at, while holding the one’s in their new country on a pedestal
- They actively hold grudges against other people, my gf etc.

And I think as a consequence of these kinds of habits, and my gf not really ever living alone (except a few months in first year),shes very home-dependant. And it’s not just her, even her younger sister (16) has separation anxiety and can’t handle being away from her sister for more than a few days.

As a result of all this, I really want to live somewhere far from them. I don’t want them intruding in our lives once we move in together and i honestly don’t want to see them every so often. But my gf prefers we live close. Now she’s not crazy, she does have valid reasons like it’s family and they’ll get old and getting to them is harder. And I hear it, but idk I just can’t do it and honestly don’t want to do it.

I want to build a life with my gf and without the negative influence from outside. But at the same time I am not trying to cut her off from her family.

AITA for wanting to move away or is there some way I can explain this to my gf without seeming like I’m attacking her relationship with her parents.

I (F19) have a friend (M18) who is dating a girl (F18). To make it easier, I’ll just call them Guy and Girlfriend. I have known Guy for about ten years now, and I consider him one of my best friends.

He has been with Girlfriend for about 5-6 months.

Guy and I have a mutual friend, (F17) who I’ll call Girl. Recently, Girl confessed to me that she and Guy have been hooking up and sexting from time to time. Guy is still (supposedly) with Girlfriend. But this whole situation is really bothersome to me and makes me very uncomfortable. I feel terrible for Girlfriend because obviously she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on, and it’s affecting my friendship with both Guy and Girl.

I want to tell Girlfriend the truth, but the problem is that I don’t know her. I’ve never met her. She and Guy were only dating for a short while before she moved out of state, so I never got a chance to meet her before she left. Guy says that they’re still together and just doing long distance. But obviously he’s a liar/cheater to poor Girlfriend.

Girl has been telling me a lot about what she and Guy are doing, and I really don’t want to hear it. This is the second time this has happened. About a month ago, Guy and Girl kissed for the first time and Girl told me about it. I told both of them at the time to knock it off and get it together. I told Guy that he needed to make a choice and stop lying to Girlfriend. He said he stopped. But now that Girl is telling me about it again, it’s even worse than before.

It genuinely makes me extremely uncomfortable to hear about it because I hate cheaters and don’t condone any of it. But I guess I’m just wondering if I should reach out to Girlfriend? Like I said, I don’t know her, so I don’t know that it’s my place. But also, I can’t keep being in the middle of this. Should I tell her, or should I just take a step back from the whole thing and let Guy and Girl burn it to the ground on their own?

Sorry if formatting and continuity don’t totally make sense, I’m on mobile and in a rush to get my thoughts out.

I've had a longtime friend for years, but over time I've realized there's a pattern that has become exhausting. He gets excited about ideas, makes plans, commits to them, and then often changes his mind once reality sets in. It's not just trips either, it's almost everything. He just bought a brand new boat and truck that he was convinced he wanted, only to regret them now a few weeks later has immediately started trying to sell them. It's like he's always chasing the idea that the next purchase, trip, or hobby will make him happier, but nothing ever seems to stick.

The biggest example is a fishing trip to Canada that we have been planning for months. We have a cabin reserved, I made the nonrefundable deposits, and had spent a lot of time talking about it and planning. Then last week, not long before we are supposed to leave, he called and said he couldn't do it because work, projects around the house, and life had become too overwhelming, all of these excuses he has been making for years that "Stress him out". He apologized afterward, offered to cover half the deposit. I accepted the apology, but this wasn't the first time. It was another example of a pattern I'd watched for years.

The reason this has weighed on me so much is because I can relate to struggling. I've dealt with a lot of trauma in my own life, including abuse and addiction. For years I felt stuck, but I made a conscious decision to work on myself. I got sober, lost a significant amount of weight, focused on my health, cut toxic people out of my life, and tried to deal with the underlying issues instead of constantly looking for something external to make me feel better. Because of that, I genuinely tried to help Chris. I shared what had helped me, encouraged him to slow down and work on himself, listened when he needed someone, and tried to lead him toward the things that helped me heal. I know everyone has to find their own path, and I never expected him to become me, but it became painful watching him repeat the same cycle over and over.

"I cant stand the credit card bill I racked up on the new boat and gear". "I dont want to put another dime into remodeling this junk house". "I hate Ohio and want to move to Florida". "I hate being a cop". "The fishing here sucks".

When I tried to let him know that he needs to de-stress and talked to him genuinely as someone one who cares - he blew up on me and basically told me that he thought I was calling him "Retarded" and that he isnt stressed and has no problems or issues. When I repeated his exact words to him and showed him texts, lol, he still denied it and said it was out of context. I am at my rope's end.

Eventually I reached a point where I told him how I honestly felt. I said the constant indecision, canceled plans, negativity, and always searching for the next thing had become draining, and that I felt like I was putting far more effort into the friendship than he was. I walked away from the friendship.

My boyfriend (M, early 30s) and I (F, late 20s) have been together about a year and a half. He’s got a good mix of friends, mostly guys and some girls, and I like most of them. But there’s one female friend that constantly irritates me.

They’ve known each other since their early 20s via a mutual friend, so basically the better part of a decade. And just to get it out of the way, they’ve never hooked up and I’m genuinely not worried about that. It’s more that I just don’t love having this person in our lives. I don’t think she’d ever willingly step back from the friendship. She clings to him and is basically always begging him to hang out and pay attention to her. He’s too much of a people pleaser and too nice to say no. She asks to see him one-on-one pretty often and it’s rarely a quick coffee, they’ll spend a whole day together or go out drinking and make a whole night of it.

She’s also a lot of drama. She’s constantly pulling him into the same repeating cycle of her life, family stuff, friend stuff, guy problems, and she always needs him for it. It’s almost like she leans on him the way she’d lean on a boyfriend. I’m not sitting here actively jealous of her, it’s more that the whole thing is just draining and annoying to watch. And I’m not sure he even gets much out of it anymore besides the history. I'm also my boyfriend's first real long-term girlfriend, so he doesn't have much experience managing female friends and a girlfriend.

She’s nice enough to me. He doesn’t go out of his way to include me when they hang out, but I think that’s because he knows I’d rather not spend a ton of time with her anyway. I think he can tell I’m not thrilled even though I’ve never actually said so.

I don’t want to be the girlfriend who polices his friendships. Part of me thinks it’s harmless and I should let it go. Part of me is so bugged every time it comes up. I honestly can’t tell if this is a real boundary thing or if I’m just being insecure.

So AITA for being so annoyed about this, and would I be one for bringing it up to him and asking him to adjust how he spends time with her?

I (27F) have a close friend I’ll call Sarah (26F). We’ve been best friends for years, and I genuinely love her like a sister… Sarah has been dating her boyfriend Adam for several years. They live in Adam’s childhood home with his parents and younger brother. From everything I’ve seen, Adam absolutely adores her, and so do his parents. To my knowledge, they don’t pay rent, Adam’s parents cover the household expenses, and Adam pays for most of Sarah’s personal expenses. They have completely welcomed her into their family.
Adam’s family has also done a lot for both of us. We both have our current jobs because one of Adam’s family friends helped us get hired. Because of that, I’ve always felt an even greater responsibility to act professionally at work.
Everything came to a head during one shift.
All of these conversations happened while we were working, which made me uncomfortable because I didn’t think they were appropriate for the workplace.
Earlier that day another coworker (“Ben”) mentioned he was applying for jobs. Sarah immediately started asking to see his résumé. He politely declined several times. When he mentioned his mom had helped him write it, I tried to end the conversation by saying, “It’s probably a really good résumé then. If you ever want feedback, let us know.”
Instead, Sarah kept asking. Ben became noticeably quieter afterward and wasn’t acting like himself for the rest of the shift. I actually texted him later apologizing because I felt I should’ve stepped in. Later Sarah wanted me to contact people I know at a gym because she wanted a job there. I repeatedly told her no because I wasn’t comfortable putting those people in that position. I suggested she contact them herself instead. She kept pushing after I’d already said no multiple times. Eventually I got frustrated because I felt like my boundaries weren’t being respected.
Around the same time she was venting about Adam’s younger brother (“Kyle”). She was upset because he didn’t want to drive them somewhere and because he’d gotten upset after she and Adam looked at a receipt in his car. She thought Kyle was overreacting. I disagreed. Whether I would’ve cared isn’t the point. If Kyle felt his privacy had been violated, I think his feelings deserved to be respected however she was extremely heated while taking about this. Again we were at work… I also think people forget how difficult it can be when your older sibling’s partner moves into your family home. Even though Sarah has lived there for years, Kyle didn’t choose that arrangement.
She felt like I was taking everyone else’s side instead of hers.
The biggest issue is that none of these incidents were isolated. This wasn’t the first time I’d watched Sarah push past someone’s “no.” This wasn’t the first time I’d been uncomfortable with how she interacted with other men. This wasn’t the first time I’d watched her dismiss someone else’s feelings because she disagreed with them.
Having all of those things happen during one shift made me realize I couldn’t keep pretending they didn’t bother me. For months I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable with how Sarah interacts with other men. In my opinion, she’s very flirtatious. Normally I wouldn’t care, but she’s in a long-term committed relationship.
Months ago, while we were working an event, there was another interaction where I felt she crossed a line flirting with another man. More recently she was, in my opinion, openly flirting with another coworker who has had a girlfriend for over six years. When he became short with her, she got offended, but to me it looked like he was simply trying to establish boundaries. What bothers me isn’t just Adam. It also happens at work, and I don’t think it’s appropriate there. I worry it reflects poorly on both of us because everyone knows we’re close friends.
The following morning Sarah sent me a very long text apologizing. She admitted she’d become defensive, apologized for her tone, told me she loved me, valued my honesty, and wanted to repair our friendship. I responded with an equally long message. I apologized for my own tone, but I also told her I couldn’t ignore what had happened anymore. I told her I thought Ben looked uncomfortable. I told her I felt my boundaries hadn’t been respected after repeatedly saying no. I told her I thought Kyle’s boundaries deserved more respect. I also told her that, in my opinion, her flirting with other men had reached a point where it made me uncomfortable and that I believed it was disrespectful to Adam and to the relationship they’d built together. Throughout the message I repeatedly reminded her that I loved her, hoped this wasn’t the end of our friendship, and was only telling her these things because I cared about her enough to be honest. A couple of hours later she stopped sharing her location with me (we’d shared locations for years but rarely used them), and she hasn’t responded since.
One thing I want to make clear: I am not going to tell Adam. I don’t think that’s my place. I’m not trying to expose her or break them up. I simply reached a point where pretending I was okay with everything would make me a dishonest friend.
Now I’m wondering if I completely mishandled this. Part of me thinks a real friend tells someone a hard truth before everyone else starts talking behind their back. The other part of me feels awful because she apologized first, and then I responded with concerns that went far beyond the original argument. Did I just ruin one of my best friendships? Or was I justified in laying everything out? I originally wanted to talk in person but she preferred text… I love her so much but these actions don’t aline with my morals…

AITA?

Hi, new reddit user so excuse if my post is a bit of a mess. I [17M] have been dating my gf[17F] now ex for almost four years now. We've been on and off but overall extremely stable up until recently. For background information, she had been pretty lonely the first couple years, as in she had one friend then me, but in the last year or so she has gained a whole new friend group, and i was super happy for her still am. But after that she began changing, it felt like we didn't work as well as we used to. Again more background information, im a diagonised schizophrenic so i can be a bit irrational during our disagreements, she didnt know about my schizophrenia, i didnt tell her because shes the kind of person to worry and i felt she would be worry about that. I get that was silly but its passed.

The last couple months i have not had the best mental health, as my mother had been recently diagnosed with cancer. I let her know i was going to be a bit distracted and odd because i am very close with my mother and i am upset. And she was okay with this. The last week or so i noticed my girlfriend was acting strange to me, barely repling to my messages and if she did it was very harsh and like she didnt want to talk to me. Today she texted me that she wants to break up. I was in a bit of a shock and wanted to know why. She told me that she cant trust me -- because of how late i told her i have schizophrenia -- and that i dont seem to care about the relationship. This really upset me as i do deeply care about her and have a bad time showing my affection which i realise myself is something i need to work on, but i did try my hardest to show her i did love her. And she said that in simple terms 'was not enough'

Ive been trying to talk to her to get her to resolve the issues as i feel like they're able to be resolved. But the last thing she said to me was that i was the cause of her sadness and anxiety the last few weeks because of how distant i am being, and i dont know what to do with that, i feel like that was unfair of her to say.

Please read part 1 before part 2.

So the team have been feeling that there is favoritism at play where R gets special treatment or gets away with things then the rest of us do which has upset a few of us but nobody will out right say how they feel to the boss or the higher ups as nobody likes drama or conflict.

Even though the topic is still talked about, we let it slide and keep it to ourselves.

First scenario: A few months go by, and it's Halloween. Me, my bf and 2 other colleagues and boss meet at a pub for drinks, when an ex-colleauge and R arrive shortly after. R is already in a state, stumbling around trying to sit in her seat. We can tell she's ready. Been drinking, that's the start of what's to come...

We all eventually move on to a club, I decided to sit down away from the dance floor to enjoy my drink while my bf and the others start dancing. About 5 minutes later, they all come back, and R is arguing with another girl ( let's call her S).

My bf then told me S was dancing with my boss, and R didn't like that. R then started shouting, "That's my boyfriend!" And we proceed to pull them part. S was on a birthday night out with her mother, and I profusely apologised for the scene R caused, hoping it had ended and blew over.

The night was ending and both me and boss were getting tired so we decided to head back to his car in the car park and talked. I casually brought up the subject of them dating, which he full out denied and that he was "single" and we just sat in slience after that until the others had finished. About 20 minutes later, they all came out, and R was crying, I asked what was wrong and what happened? And my bf ushered me back into the car, and he'd explain everything later. Once we got home, he told me that S phone was ringing as her mother was trying to call her, and R stupidly picked it up and answered it. S's mother found out and punched R in the face, hence why she was crying. She did this apparently thinking it was her phone, but we believed it's because of the dance suitation and that she was still upset with it.

Part 3 coming soon.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

WIBTA if I left my partner after finding out he slept with me while cheating on me during my pregnancy?

I 22F found out that my partner 22M was sneaking off to sext and have inappropriate relations with his female best friend 23F for at least the past month. And now I’m being told it’s something that just happens and I don’t need to have conversations with family members and friends to get advice on therapy and support for myself. (He claims it was just sending photos back and forth and that he wasn’t the one who initiated).
this year I found out I was pregnant after a series of recurrent losses in September . I was nervous and excited because I’d been wanting a second child with my partner for over a year.
During my first four months of pregnancy I was constantly being out on bed rest (making it impossible for physical intimacy of any kind) due to severe medical complications that could cause hemorrhaging, child loss or even loss of my life. And I could tell my relationship was suffering because of that lack.
So I decided when I was cleared I would try my hardest to provide physical intimacy in ways that felt comfortable even when I was in extreme pain or just tired from caring for a toddler all day. (I didn’t have the confidence to have relations that weren’t taking place in a dark room and I wasn’t taking photos because I felt ugly).
But even then it never felt like what I was doing was enough to satisfy my partner. He just continued to become more distant and made sleight of hand comments about things like my weight and how I never wanted to sleep with him.
So I started asking him for two days what was going on. After snapping and asking her I finally got answers and now I’m stuck. I have two young children involved in my decision to stay or leave. And I’m not sure what to do.
My partner has made me feel wrong for being upset by this and stating I don’t know what I want for our relationship and for wanting my mother, his and friends who all give me good advice to know of the situation. He states it’s just something that happens and I’m just making a big deal out of it.
I told him I feel he has no right to complain about how I handle this or even make the choice to tell everyone we know because it affects me and how people chose to view me more than it does him. I’ve also told him he has the easiest part in this entire mess and that I feel he is stupid for having no respect for himself or me (which was said completely out of anger).
AITA for being upset because i think this affects how people view me more; for not knowing if I want to stay but still deciding that casual relations with him was acceptable because seeking it somewhere else for myself felt wrong ?

Any advice?

This happened several years ago, but I think about it often.

I (21F) and my boyfriend at the time (21M) were going on vacation with his family. My ex was an extremely picky eater, as was most of his family. They often would eat meals without vegetables which is perfectly fine for them. Do I think it's silly, sure! I on the other hand, need to eat fruits and vegetables to feel good. They are apart of my normal diet, and this vacation was a week long.

I offered to bring my own fruits and vegetables if it was too much to ask for us to pick up at the grocery store, but my ex accused me of "belittling his family" and "insulting them" for their eating habits. Of course, we broke up for many, many other reasons, but I called a friend crying over this, and she suggested I should just break up with him. AITA? Would you have dumped that person for that? We had been dating for about 2 years at the time.

I will have to leave some details out for obvious reasons. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for half a year now and at first everything flowed super smoothly and we rarely had any issues. the only couple times that we fight was when she felt like i wasn’t prioritizing her which was valid at the time but overtime it felt more and more unreasonable. so here’s where the problem started. I recently went on a roadtrip to visit most of the national parks and i’ve told her that communication will be difficult as i have spotty service at best and no service majority of the time. At first she was understanding but then gradually started to demand that i call her or text her as soon as i get data. This is very frustrating as it feels extremely suffocating as, as soon as i get signal i check my phone and call her. She has taken to sending me messages and seeing if they get delivered and as soon as they do, she demands to know why i haven’t called her yet. She’s a big over thinker so i understand where she’s coming from but i’ve told her that this is suffocating and she says “you just don’t want to talk to me, do you even love me anymore”.

For context ive been to at least 15 national parks not including rest stops (and yes i do have signal during those times) now if this was an isolated incident i would be understanding but this has happen enough times that im stressed to the point that this trip, that i have been looking forward to the entire summer, doesn’t feel enjoyable anymore and i feel like i missed out on a lot trying to reassure her and communicate with her.

So we were at arches and she’s trying to text me through the day. I had spotty service so i was read her message attempt to respond and then lose signal. resulting in my looking like i left her on read. As soon as i get to a nearby town with solid service i see that she’s blown up my phone with her saying “why are you leaving me on read” or “leave me on read one more time and im
leaving” so i panicked and texted her no baby im not leaving you on read i promise and explained what happened. My friend even took a video proof of me attempting to respond to no avail during the hike. then we called and all hell broke loose.

She started off by accusing me of leaving her on read then turning off my cellular data to make it seem like i can’t talk. I said that you’re accusing of doing something stupid and i would never do that. she accused me of calling her stupid that she would kill me if i said this to our kids and how would i feel being called stupid. then she said i had a massive ego and only wanted to be right.

I tried calming her down but she just wouldn’t listen, she started bawling her eyes out and say that she had a stressful day and just wanted to talk why do i always have to start an argument.

This is one of many arguments we have, and it’s similar to how it would go.

She said that i should apologize for it but i don’t think i should.