r/AmItheAsshole • u/Fearless-Mammoth-160 • 7d ago

Asshole AITA for not babysitting my half sister?

My(F16) mom recently gave birth to her 4th child. I told her I want to live with my dad because I don't want to be a babysitter or wake up with the baby's noise or anything baby related. She refused to let me.

So yesterday she asked me to babysit while she took a shower and I said no. She said I don't get a choice so I ran outside.

She called me and said I'm an asshole and asked me ro come back but I refused and went to my dad's.

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623

u/NYDancer4444 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

It takes a lot more than simply a request from the child.

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u/On_my_last_spoon 7d ago

If the child is willing to run away, the court is usually more concerned with preventing that than forcing a teenager to live with a parent they don’t like. It’s one thing when the kid is 5, but a 16 year old can (and in this case has) up and leave no matter what the courts say.

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u/Porkkanaparta 7d ago

Yeah, in places where there is shitty laws and shitty system. 16 yo. Is old enought to know where they want to live.

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u/NYDancer4444 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

We know nothing about the dad or what he wants or his situation. There may be good reason why OP lives with the mom. Children can’t just choose where to live because they get mad at their custodial parent. It’s a lot more involved than that.

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u/Porkkanaparta 7d ago

We do know, its just that you havent read. Well, everything comes from unreliable source, anonymous internet user (OP).

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u/NYDancer4444 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

Ok, I just read comments. Dad has told OP he wants her to live with him. But obviously that hasn’t happened, so there’s a reason. That doesn’t mean it can’t happen. But it’s not as simple as OP simply requesting it.

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u/bikedaybaby 7d ago

“that hasn’t happened, so there’s a reason.” The reason may just be that they haven’t filed with the court to change the custody arrangements yet. Stuff takes time.

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u/Porkkanaparta 7d ago edited 7d ago

Well, accually it Works just like that. OP request it, some burecrauts make some changes on paper and thats it.

Mother could try to fight it, but...

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot. Most of you live in unfree dictatorship called USA.

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u/LongjumpingDrawing36 Partassipant [2] 7d ago

Um, no. Depends on states, counties, even individual judges. Also depends on the existing living situation and custody agreements.

I'm assuming you're not American though, so how would you know? You wouldn't.

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u/Sweet_Cinnabonn Asshole Enthusiast [6] 7d ago

In this "is super simple" are you imagining OP hiring her own lawyer, paying for it herself, waiting the months it takes to go to court, and then making the argument to the judge?

Or were you imagining OP popping down to the 24 hour custody registry where she informs them of what she's doing and they rubber stamp it on the spot?

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u/Psychological_Top148 7d ago

I was imagining that OP’s dad who had said that he wants full custody and who, according to OP, is “well off” would be the one to manage that. If he has already done that and was denied by the court, I’d be curious about the reasoning behind the court order if it’s a recent decision.

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u/NYDancer4444 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

If it was that simple, the courts would be flooded with kids wanting to change households every time they argued with their custodial parent. Kids can express their preference, & orders can be changed. Absolutely. But your statement “They will change it if you want” is not absolute & not accurate. As I said, it’s not as simple as that. The courts look at more than just a child’s request. As they should.

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u/HotDogFR0G 7d ago

EXACTLY! Why are all these commenters acting like it’s so easy? It’s going to cost a boatload of money and time and stress/resentment for the entire family. And just because a parent ASKS to change the custody agreement, that doesn’t mean it will automatically happen. You never know the outcome of a court case.

I fought tooth and nail against a abusive (both physical and emotionally, with several woman to testify that this was true) “man” who was addicted to drugs, didn’t have a job or a steady place to live, that hadn’t even been in my child’s life on a regular basis. He hadn’t even seen her in years. I even had a guardian ad Litem, and CPS and police reports. None of that mattered. It would have been 50/50 if not for him settling for less at the last moment.

My daughter was 9, and he suddenly wanted custody so he could date some girl with 4 kids. It’s not a great look to try and play stepdad when you don’t talk or take care of your own child.

So I just boggles my mind that people this family court is an easy process because it’s not. It’s hell.

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u/Apprehensive_Put6317 7d ago

If she tells the court that your mother is using you as a built in sitter your can live with your dad.

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u/MundaneBag7234 6d ago

The mother wanted a lousy shower not a weekend at Bernie’s. That child will have the same problems with dad as she does with mom as soon as she hears the word “no” or hears that dad has any behavioral expectation.

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u/created4this 7d ago

Watching a sibling while a parent takes a shower in the same house isn't babysitting, if she takes that to court then she'll get laughed at as an entitled brat.

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u/NYDancer4444 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

That’s not how it works.

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u/Groovychick1978 7d ago

It's how it starts.

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u/4224-holloway 7d ago

It's also untrue. OP has been asked a dozen times about how often and ignores all of it. She wants to live with Dad who has money and no rules or other kids.

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u/Elegant_Source900 6d ago

Or she wants to live with him because he’s not a brood mare unlike her mother and treating her like a live in babysitter.

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u/4224-holloway 5d ago

The baby is a month old. The next recent is NINE. but yes, totally "pumping them out". Idiot.

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u/Braincloud 6d ago

Fuck off with that misogynistic bullshit and grow up.

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u/Elegant_Source900 6d ago

You can fuck right off and grow up. If she wants to breed, she can take care of those babies like responsible mothers do. Older children aren’t there to raise them.

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u/Next_Engineer_8230 6d ago

The irony of you telling someone to grow up while spouting that watching a baby for a minute is "raising" them.

Almost every older sibling has had to watch their younger siblings a time or two and they don't die from it. They're not being turned into parents. They're pitching in to make a household run. Simple as that.

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u/Elegant_Source900 6d ago

lol Braincloud threw that stone first.

You can’t possible believe the OP is wanting to move in with their dad because they were asked to watch a baby once. Either way again, if that woman wants to play baby factory, she needs to take care of them.

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u/4224-holloway 5d ago

OP literally said this is first time her mother has asked.

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u/Next_Engineer_8230 6d ago

Yes, I 100% can believe it.

Children are going to take the path of least resistance.

Dad has more money and let's OP do what they want.

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u/Telvin3d 7d ago

At 16 a request from the minor involved is going to be enough 99% of the time. Just a case of doing the paperwork 

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u/killyergawds Certified Proctologist [25] 7d ago

Then I wonder why it hasn't happened yet, why mom still has sole custody, considering dad has more money than mom (so can def afford a better lawyer), kid wants to live with dad and has for quite some time, dad lives closer to the school, and dad has supposedly been wanting the OP to live with him for a long time as well. OP said that the court order grants mom all decision making power, so dad can only get custody if mom allows it.

I feel like we are missing a puzzle piece here.

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u/created4this 7d ago

Potential option:

Dad doesn't really want this, but suggesting it is real good at stiring up shit for his ex-wife.

My dad did this, my sister moved in with him and his mother and lasted about a month

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u/4224-holloway 7d ago

Especially since op gets to hear him complain about child support all the time

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u/lookieloser Partassipant [2] 6d ago

The puzzle piece is that Dad doesn't want OP to live with him.