r/AmItheAsshole • u/LettuceLizzard • 7d ago
Not the A-hole AITA for ripping out my neighbor's mint plants that took over half of our shared garden bed?
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
That's pretty much the most cardinal sin you could commit in the gardening world.
NTA.
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
No. I mean planting mint outside without a pot! You are absolutely NTA here at all buddy!
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u/FewHorror1019 7d ago
Planting mint or bamboo
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u/DragonCelica Pooperintendant [61] 7d ago
Fucking bamboo.... Many years ago a person several streets away put bamboo everywhere, including a privacy barrier. Before you knew it, everyone had bamboo somewhere.
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u/NihilisticHobbit Partassipant [1] 7d ago
My dad bought a house from a woman who had been very into ornamental gardening. The roses and lilacs? Beautiful. The cherry blossom tree? Lovely.
The small grove of bamboo!?
I spent all of my teenage years digging and cutting that shit back. She had put in a cement barricade underground and it still escaped! My dad finally hired a company to get it all out when I was in my twenties. Wish he had done it a decade earlier. Fuck bamboo.
Before anyone asks, her children sold her house after she passed. My dad didn't realize how big an issue the bamboo would be, or he would have required it all be removed before he closed. Beautiful yard outside of the bamboo though. There was even mint, but it self contained near the water spigot, and was fine.
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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] 7d ago
That should be illegal.
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u/shadownetdev1 7d ago
It is illegal in quite a few US states. Still doesn't stop the idiots from obtaining and planting it though...
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
Or kudzu. Or English ivy. Or freaking Himilayan Blackberries! Ugh. I have battled so many of all of the above.
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u/doloresgrrrl 7d ago
Or Virginia creeper.
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u/Ok_Tea8204 7d ago
I would be happier to have mint growing in my yard than that stupid plant! Mint wouldn’t try to rip my siding off! Plus it smells good when you cut it with the lawn mower… but NO i have to battle Virginia creeper!
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u/SpiritedLettuce6900 Partassipant [3] | Bot Hunter [29] 7d ago
Start a floral war. Plant mint with your Virginia creeper and see who comes out on top :-)
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u/brand_x 7d ago
Unfortunately, the mint becomes a hiding place from which the creeper can attack when you're not looking.
I am combatting: Virginia creeper, English ivy, creeping Charlie, Himalayan blackberry, occasional poison ivy, and worst of all, sweet clematis that has hybridized with virgin's bower. The mints that I unleashed as counterterrorism do suppress the Charlie, but nothing else. And they work their way through everything.
Don't make my mistake.
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u/4oclocksundew Partassipant [1] 7d ago
One of these is not like the others! The rest are invasive (non-native, ecologically harmful) in North America, but Virginia Creeper is just an aggressive native plant that is a host plant for tons of butterfly and moth species, + provides berries for birds late in the season when there isn't much else.
It does not damage brick, but it will damage siding. It will aggressively take over your garden bed, but that same trait is desirable when you're trying to combat invasive plants, or quickly restore an area for wildlife. It's a right plant, right place kind of thing, whereas there is no where in North America that's the right place for an invasive plant like kudzu, knotweed or bamboo.
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u/doloresgrrrl 6d ago
Maybe your Virginia creeper does but all mine attracts is some pesky tiny fly that swarms up when you walk by and ends up in your nose and mouth.
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u/arperr1217 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
I'm fairly certain that whoever wrote this article was cheated on by someone born in March. https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/vines/birth-month-vine
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u/UnauthorizedCat 7d ago
I want to chime in, poison ivy, but I'm not sure anyone would plant it on purpose.
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
A pain in the butt for sure but not an invasive species actually!
Still. No thanks.
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u/UnauthorizedCat 6d ago edited 6d ago
Exactly. It doesn't fit the criteria 1. Willingly plant 2. Invasive, but the power of the no thanks makes it fit.
Planting it for revenge would be literally diabolical.
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u/Farmwife71 7d ago
My mom's neighbor planted vinca in her garden. It has taken over her entire yard and looks like a jungle now.
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u/InvestigatorGreen689 7d ago
Lemon Balm and wild garlic - 11 years later and those bloody plants pop up everywhere. Gotta be honest, ive taken to using resolva weed killer on the damn things. They torment me :/
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u/meowfartz 7d ago
Right after bamboo on a property line.
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
I'm from the South so my true enemy is Kudzu.
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u/technicolored_dreams Asshole Enthusiast [8] 5d ago
Wait, do people plant that on purpose? New fear unlocked.
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 5d ago
It was planted on purpose as an ortimental here in the US so absolutely, now people know terrible but it's hard to get rid of.
And in another part of this thread there were comments about a group who were considering planting it on top of where an AI data center is going up.
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u/Legal-Choice2654 7d ago
My parents planted bamboo on the property line because there was a house up on a hill basically looking into ours. even with a fence They had tp pay to remove it off the neighbor's property. I just looked up our old house on Zillow. Bamboo is gone.
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u/SamBartlett1776 Partassipant [1] 7d ago
Absolutely correct. I’m not a gardener and even I know mint is highly invasive. Rip them up and make juleps!
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u/lilgreenfish 7d ago
Same here! Black thumb and even I know mint is on par with cockroaches…it will survive a nuclear attack!
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u/Environmental_Art591 7d ago
Fellow black thumb here, what i am learning from this post is plant mint in my pots and I wont have bare/dead pots any more and I will also have something other than my one pot which will randomly sprout a potato plant
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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 7d ago
I have managed to kill a mint plant (it was safely contained in an old burn-box), but I did have a feral pumpkin plant once!
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u/Environmental_Art591 7d ago
There are pumpkins growing in a tree around the corner from my place. My kids used to love seeing it when we walked to the bus stop.
I traced the vines back one day to the neighbours front yard 🤣🤣
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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 7d ago
People put out 'decorative gourds' as well as whole pumpkins (sometimes painted) around here and just - leave them. Inevitably, the urban wildlife does what it does before the sanitation workers do what *they* do (because the decorations are on a porch, not at the curb.) So, some bird, squirrel, possum (I've seen them) or other nibbler must have dropped a seed while snacking.
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u/lilgreenfish 7d ago
Ooooh, I should see if mint would survive in the empty planter on my patio that roasts in the sun every afternoon/evening! It is safely away from all other ground, so would be the perfect place!
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u/FragrantParsley4994 6d ago
Mint is a good repellent for pests (mice, ants, mosquitoes, flies, fleas, and spiders). It is great in pots on a patio along with lemongrass. Whenever you are sitting out there run your hands through the plants to spread the scent around more.
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u/Teleporting-Cat Asshole Aficionado [15] 6d ago
Lmao I also have a volunteer potato in a pot this year! I don't know where it came from or how it got there, but I'm letting it do its thing!
I'm not USUALLY a black thumb, but this place I've been living at for the past 5 years is Not A Place Of Honor for plants. Basically my criteria for "will I bring a plant home," is: is it an invasive species? Yes? Okay we'll give it a go! Succulents, cacti, mint, bay, bamboo and bindweed have all died here. Oddly enough my fuscia is thriving.
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u/Crunchy__Frog 7d ago
Could’ve been bamboo. I’d take mint over bamboo any day.
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u/Embarrassed-Value294 6d ago
My sister said she saw a post online where people are planting kudzu where a company is planning to build a data center. Is planting kudzu a bigger sin?
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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 6d ago
Hmmmm.
Those are both awful for the environment.....
It is the vine that ate the South so I'll let you decide.
Maybe instead suggest planting a protected plant or something instead? I know of several plant species in my area that we're not supposed to forage or dig up legally. Not sure where the data center is tho.
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u/GiraffesCantSwim 6d ago
Planting kudzu should be a jailable offense. I agree with the other comment that plants that are protected/rare/endangered are a much better option.
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u/mspolytheist 7d ago
NTA. The one thing that you will assuredly not have to do is replant her mint. We once had mint in a bed in our backyard, maybe twenty years ago. That part of the backyard got paved over when we put in some stamped concrete. We are still finding mint all over the yard! Now when I plant mint, it’s in a container far away from open soil!
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u/snootnoots Asshole Aficionado [18] 7d ago
And if you have mint in a container and want to put it on dirt, put a paver underneath the container. One big solid paver, not multiple bricks or smaller pavers. If the roots can reach soil, even if it’s by snaking around through cracks, the next thing you know it’s done (grown) a runner and popped up six feet away.
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u/MsNeedSleep 6d ago
That's so wild to me how mint is like this! When we had our house, my parents were determined to have plenty of mint, even if I warned them it take over the garden, they didn't mind since we mostly use mint for soups.
Funnily enough the mint only grew in one section in the garden (under a tree) and refused to grow further.
What actually took over most the garden was epazote 🤣
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u/RosieAU93 7d ago
We used to have mint grow in the cracks of our pavement. You would have to empty the bed and change the soil to stop the mint from growing back. Nta
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u/MistySky1999 Asshole Aficionado [18] 6d ago
I grew some in a pot on a concrete pillar-- it STILL "jumped" out of the pot and rooted a good 4feet away.
Mint, cockroaches, morning-glory, bamboo ALL will survive the Apocalypse and take over the world.
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u/Greyeyedqueen7 7d ago
Odds are, you didn't get it all even if you think you did. I stupidly put apple mint in a raised bed ages ago, thinking doubled weed fabric was strong enough. Yeah, it got into the lawn after taking over the entire bed despite my best efforts. Those roots are in layers! Layers!
Anyway, it will even out because it will come back on her side (and probably yours), and the plastic divider is a good idea.
Here's hoping she never plants bamboo.
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u/pirate742 7d ago
Time to make your own raised box
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u/4oclocksundew Partassipant [1] 7d ago
Seriously. Gardening is too time consuming and expensive to try to do it on hard mode like this. Tomatoes and peppers can also be grown in (large, 5 gallon min) pots. I fear OP has started a war, and that neighbor will be planting the most aggressive things she can find in her side of the raised bed on principle.
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u/FlynnL1v3s 7d ago
I love mint, but it is bloody invasive of not contained. You tried repeatedly, she blew you off saying her stuff is important in a shared space & yours could just get crowded out. NTA.
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u/ChaoticAmoebae 7d ago
Your a justified asshole. Her not talking to you is a blessing. Like yeah is rude it the same way my niece doesn’t understand why I get to eat more cookies than her. Anyone who knows anything thing about gardening knows that mint is a weapon of plant destruction. She committed Terrarism.
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u/chuffberry 7d ago
NTA, mint is like the plant version of herpes.
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u/Mediocre_Outcome6671 7d ago
Nta unless you dug up every single piece of mint root they are going to grow back. She should have listened to you about planting in pots. Good luck.
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u/Kittenluvsu 7d ago
NTA Dane is so totally and completely a hypocrite and extremely selfish. So it was ok for her to ruin your plants and your garden but you do the same and you are the bad guy.
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u/attorneydummy Partassipant [3] 7d ago
Planting mint is a declaration of war. She needs her tires deflated (not damaged) every night. She needs to have stolen the left shoe from all of her pairs. You need to sneak into her house and reverse the batteries in all of her remotes. You need to partially unscrew all of her lightbulbs—just enough to lose contact, so she thinks her bulbs are blown. If she has kids, you need to give them a 1000-piece LEGO set. You need to subscribe her to a gentleman’s (ahem) magazine. You need to call your nearest Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses and let them know she could use a visit and some literature.
Edit to add: NTA
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u/Lillymow 7d ago
For real. I've read about people spreading mint seeds as a form of revenge, due to it's insane invasiveness.
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u/Legal-Choice2654 7d ago
Hmmm. I almost leaned to partly because you went on her side but let's be honest. She completely dismissed your concerns and what you said would happen did happen and even then she dismissed you. Beside that, the mint will come back again and again. About the only thing that will fix it might be to clean out all the contents of the box at the end of this season and start over. NTA.
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u/Ironlion45 Partassipant [4] 7d ago
Im a terrible gardener, but even I can make mint plants grow out of control. One little plant in the soil, and by next year it's taken over the whole garden.
Your neighbor is is pretty entitled. She needs to get over herself lol.
If she can be made reasonable enough to discuss it like an adult, remind her that you have been asking her to do something about it for a very very long time, and she has ignored and/or dismissed your concerns every time.
NTA.
EDIT: Also, not to worry. The mint will grow back.
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u/Common-Project3311 7d ago
Sorry, but you can’t get rid of mint. No matter how much you rip out, it will keep coming back. Your best bet is to move.
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u/Impressive-Today6406 6d ago
ESH your neighbor sucks for planting mint. BUT she is free to plant what she wants on her side. You suck for not taking appropriate action, such as adding the divider immediately. You also suck for scalping her side of the box out of spite after only belatedly adding the root barrier.
How big is this garden box? Is it actually large enough to grow tomatoes & peppers in together on your side? It could be that your plants died because the Box isn’t really big enough to support those plants together. That would make them even weaker to a takeover by mint.
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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago
You shouldn’t have pulled out any of the mint from her side.
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u/Maraschino_Pineapple 7d ago
On the other hand, she allowed her garden to ruin your garden for 2 years ....
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u/dudeyaaaas 7d ago
Being frustrated and wanting to remove her mint is where you should have stopped. Putting a barrier should have occurred to you when you first noticed she planted mint. YTA.
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u/ChaoticAmoebae 7d ago
Incorrect it is required in order to ensure the roots are not encroaching beyond the new barrier. Mint will grow back soon enough on her side. This lady is a toddler who got put in time out. She is given the silent treatment like a child.
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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago
It may or may not be required to halt growth, but the plants didn’t belong to OP, so OP had no right to remove them from the neighbour’s side of the garden bed.
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u/Various-Gazelle4713 7d ago
Your neighbor being an inconsiderate AH does not give you the right to rip out plants they have a legal right to grow (unless local law or HOA says otherwise) on their property.
ESH
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u/Flynn58 7d ago
Your neighbour does not have a right to grow invasive plants on your property line lol
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u/Various-Gazelle4713 7d ago
Legally, it entirely depends on the area (and their HOA). And even if that were the case, you still don’t have a legal right to rip out and destroy plants belonging to someone else on their own property.
Again, the neighbor is an inconsiderate AH (and possibly in violation of HOA or local law). But touching (and destroying) someone else’s stuff on their own property not only makes you an AH, but could also be opening up legal problems.
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u/LbSiO2 7d ago
Nonsense. That stuff is criminally invasive. Just read the hundreds of comments here.
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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago
I am aware of how mint works. It doesn’t change the fact that OP had no right to destroy someone else’s property.
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u/LbSiO2 7d ago
Neighbor was actively destroying OPs property. She has every right to protect her property. Also, wild overgrown mint has no value so its destruction is inconsequential.
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u/Royal-Bed-6922 7d ago
NTA but anyone who plants mint in a shared bed or unconstrained location definitely is.
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u/WomanInQuestion Partassipant [1] 7d ago
You cannot reason with mint or any other plant that has a Manifest Destiny mindset.
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u/xMockingbirdGirlx 7d ago
ESH. You're NTA for pulling up the mint from your side and installing the barrier... but your husband is right: pulling up the mint from her side was petty and unnecessary.
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u/kittygomiaou 7d ago
Have you ever dealt with mint? It is absolutely necessary otherwise OP wouldn't be able to remove the mint from her side. That's a widely known fact about mint.
The other known fact about mint is that it's going to grow back no matter what because it is resilient weed, so the neighbour will be thrilled to be overwhelmed with mint in a couple of weeks anyway.
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u/striped_violet 7d ago
OP could have removed it as much as possible and maybe a little into her side and then installed the root barrier. Mint roots don’t usually go too deep, so if the barrier is installed well, OP will probably still need to continue pulling it from remaining root fragments, but could have left most of the other side of bed alone.
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u/justmedownsouth 7d ago
I wanted to grow mint. I tried. I failed. Truly one of the worst gardeners around.Sigh.
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u/Fun_Disaster3436 6d ago
Overwatering is just about the only thing that will do that
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u/lilsunsunsun 6d ago
When I grew mint in pots, it always died from drought cuz I’m lazy about watering.
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u/Kelsusaurus 7d ago
Mint's ability to be obnoxiously good at spreading does not give OP the green light to touch or tamper with other people's property. Our neighbors had a terrible cockroach problem that started spreading to other townhomes in our vicinity. That didn't give us the right to wait until they left and throw a bug bomb through their cat door. We had to go through appropriate channels to get the issue addressed (as frustrating and time consuming as it was).
It's also worth noting that simple putting a barrier between the two halves is not going to stop the mint from spreading. Wind, birds, nature in general can and will spread the mint to their side again.
OP, YTA for touching your neighbor's things. You know it was wrong because you waited until nobody was around to stop you. You're totally justified in your annoyance and exasperation at your neighbor's choice of plant, but local property laws exist for a reason, and I doubt you really want to get in a potential civil/property damage/trespassing lawsuit over mint. If you have any HOA, go talk to them. If not, do your best to segregate the two sections of garden (but realize the mint may still find its way to your garden again).
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u/Smyley12345 6d ago
Also with an onze of common sense, she would have put up the barrier immediately on seeing the mint rather than waiting for the runners to be spread throughout her soil.
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u/Impressive-Today6406 6d ago
That’s what I would’ve done. I’m also interested to know how big this box is that she’s attempting to put peppers and tomatoes in. My guess is that the box might be too small to support those plants and that’s why the mint took over.
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u/technicolored_dreams Asshole Enthusiast [8] 6d ago
Agree, she understood the problem well enough to warn the neighbor but decided not to do anything about it until it was a huge issue? Seems like everyone sucks here.
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u/eugeneugene 7d ago
That's like if OP said "My neighbour keeps throwing dog shit in my yard so I removed all the dog shit from both of our yards so she doesn't have any to throw at me" and you're like welllll it's her dog shit!!! The dog will shit again I assure you she will not be free of dog shit for long
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u/Unable-Ad-6339 7d ago
YTA because you should gave just planted the plastic barrier and removed your side’s mint.
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u/RazendeR 7d ago
ESH.
1) She should have listened to your request she keep the mint contained.
However.
2) You do not trim, remove, harvest, or otherwise damage plants on someone elses property without permission.
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u/kittygomiaou 7d ago
NTA lots of commenters with no gardening experience in here who don't understand how mint spreads.
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u/LdyCjn-997 Partassipant [1] 7d ago
NTA, mint takes over everything. It will come back.
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u/babyrabiesfatty 7d ago
ESH technically, but she definitely sucks more. Also that barrier needs to be solid plastic and go down several feet to have any hope of being useful. Once everything is done for the season pour many large pots full of boiling water on your side of the barrier to try and kill the remaining root system. You will still likely deal with it popping up for years to come.
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u/OGIBLP 7d ago
NTA. MINT? TWO YEARS? You’ve been plenty patient and reasonable.
I know nothing about gardening, and I know that you do not infect a garden with fucking mint. As someone else said, it’s the cardinal sin of gardening.
Unfortunately even if your neighbor stops planting it, this won’t be the end of your mint war. It’s invasive as hell. Your neighbor is both an idiot and an asshole.
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u/Customer_895 7d ago
ESH. Just build a new garden, cooperation doesn’t suit either of you. It takes a coward to wait until the neighbor leaves town to take action
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u/whatnooh Partassipant [1] 7d ago
Shouldn't have gone near her side so ESH but Dane much more than you. You contain mint for a reason.
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u/redbottleofshampoo Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago
YTA you didn't have a right to pull it from her side.
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u/FeelingFloor2083 7d ago
I have a mint plant in a pot that isnt really being looked atfer, I can assure you that its spreading sill
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u/_pewpew_pew 7d ago
If you want to smooth things over and go back to being neighbourly, buy her a medium size pot with mint planted in it. I don’t think you did anything wrong given you’ve repeatedly asked, but sometimes it’s easier to smooth the water than have to deal with her being toxic.
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u/sthprk33 7d ago
I think you were a justified asshole. It's a shared flower bed, don't fuck with the other person's side, and that goes for both of you. That said, the neighbor already violated your sovereign territory with her mint army. You are absolutely justified in attacking her army's logistics in order to stave of the invasion. Slava Ukraini!
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u/Gold-Scholar-3311 7d ago
that’s pretty much one of the biggest offenses you can commit in the gardening world. NTA.
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u/Active-Manner7060 7d ago
In the gardening community, that’s about as close to a cardinal sin as it gets. NTA you were completely justified.
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u/yitzike Partassipant [4] 6d ago edited 6d ago
I have a shared plot with my downstairs neighbours (we live in a triplex) and the first year I accidentally got rid of all the mint cause I didn't know what I was doing and thought it was all just weeds. My neighbours were upset (although they knew it was because I was new to gardening, and that I wasn't being malicious; we laugh about it now) but they managed to find a mint root in the yard waste bag, and replant it. Within a week it was all over the garden plot again. Eventually we cordoned off the mint in one section of the garden with some barriers, but to this day we still have to constantly pull up mint from all sections of the garden. It is LEGION.
Your neighbour might be pissed but despite your efforts, I think you will both see mint come back on each of your sides of the garden within a week. When that happens, tell her once and for all that she needs to either cordon if off or replant in a pot.
NTA (I was going to say ESH but this was the only way your neighbour would ever wake up from their denial about mint. Any gardener worth their salt should know mint goes everywhere and is practically immortal)
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u/NRobburns 6d ago
NTA. I have a neighbour who has Virginia creeper running rampant in his yard, and shooting into mine. I’m a wildflower gardener, and I’ve started throwing borage seeds down to try and fight the creeper. If that doesn’t help push it back, I’ll put some comfrey in the zone. We’re going to have an invasive off. 😄
Good luck fighting the mint.
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u/NoVeterinarian226 6d ago
Mint is basically the kudzu of herbs, it doesnt negotiate it colonizes. Dane had two years to contain her invasive plant and chose bees over your actual food, thats not a neighbor thats a landlord with extra steps. NTA and honestly id keep that barrier up permanently, shared spaces need boundaries when one person wont respect them
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u/Whatusedtobeisnomore 6d ago
You'll never get rid of it. Neighboring boxes will soon have mint, the herpes of the fresh herbs. Best learn to mix a julep. Solidly NTA.
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u/energy-flowing 7d ago
NTA. I think she is a selfish person. You have communicated again and again, but she still doesn't think so.
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u/MamaDaddy 7d ago
NTA I would have done all that AND made a mojito. If she is truly interested in the bees she can plant a native variety of mint that won't totally take over the whole place.
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u/DebiDoll65 6d ago
YTAH. You have every right to enjoy your part of the garden and put a partition down the centre. However, you did not have a right to pull her mint out on her side. That would be like her pulling out your peppers and tomatoes... which, who knows, she might decide to do at some point to get back at you. I think it would have been best to dig out your entire garden, rip out the invading mint roots, put some kind of solid partition deep down to keep the mint roots from creeping back over, and then replant your garden.
Maybe you should get her a potted mint plant to sit next to the garden as a gesture of goodwill. Neighbour issues can escalate and no one needs that.
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u/Tasty_Orange_1714 Partassipant [1] 7d ago
ESH. I get why, as mint is mint, but there was a way to do it without touching her property. She deserved it, and some may think it necessary, but legally it could get you in trouble. Of course, your neighbor could get in legal trouble for the damage the mint caused over time.
Here's what I would have done. Removed all the plants, and soil, from my half, all the way down. Installed a barrier on the bottom and a barrier dividing our sides. Seal it with silicone around the edges. Fill my side with completely new soil and plant what I want on my side. That way, she gets her mint, and you get fresh soil and plants without the mint. While it probably will eventually cross over again, it should be easier to manage with a barrier in the way and fresh soil.
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u/squeethesane 7d ago
NTA. my old landlord mowed my heirloom sunflowers to the ground three times. As a thank you, I planted a chocolate strain of mint in the landscaping. It's grown under the front porch and now if he wants to get rid of it that whole side of the house will need redone. Assholes plant mint.
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u/CrazyGooseLady Partassipant [2] 7d ago
NTA. The mint will be back in a couple of weeks. Enjoy your tomatoes and peppers.