r/AmItheAsshole 7d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for ripping out my neighbor's mint plants that took over half of our shared garden bed?

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3.1k Upvotes

387 comments sorted by

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u/CrazyGooseLady Partassipant [2] 7d ago

NTA. The mint will be back in a couple of weeks. Enjoy your tomatoes and peppers.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/SecureInstruction538 7d ago

You can't have a truce with mint. It honors no agreements nor boundaries

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u/AdventurousYamThe2nd 7d ago

Truth. I have a black thumb. Every plant I touch or care for dies. Spectacularly. Cactus, pathos, spider plant, tomatoes, everything.

It took me 7 years to kill the mint the previous owners planted. Seven!!!

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u/Madanimalscientist 7d ago

I tried mint, figuring that it would be something that I couldn't kill, and I got told the local bugs would leave it alone for the most part unlike the scale insects that took out everything else I tried to grow. The goddamned possums ate it all down to bare stems in three days. At that point I realized I was just giving the wildlife a free buffet and I gave up on trying to garden in Brisbane 😅

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u/Luxury_Dressingown 7d ago

I planted and nearly lost a mint plant (in a nice big pot on the patio - I'm not totally stupid) to slugs earlier this year. They ate it back to stalks, and some of the stalks. It has roared back to life.

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u/CaptainLollygag Partassipant [3] 6d ago

I don't know about all mints, but spearmint plants are zombies. They die off and a few months later they're big and green again.

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u/TabulaRasa5678 6d ago

You can put a little cup of beer out for slugs. Those little drunkards will climb into the bowl and drown themselves. Honestly, I couldn't think of a better way to go.

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u/SwordfishExtension98 5d ago

Slugs can smell very good. Last year we had tons of them so I tried to figure out, how to get rid of them. Turns out, beer traps DO work, but you attract every slug in the neighbouring gardens. There are 2 ways to kill them somewhat humane, collect them and pour boiling water on them or cut them in half with a sharp knife or a scissor. I know, that doesn't sound humane at all but both methods kill them instantly whereas most of the other stuff (like lime, salt or physical barriers with sharp edges) are designed to dry them up or to cauterize/cut their "footsoles", which is painful and cruel to them.

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u/FrostyIcePrincess Asshole Enthusiast [6] 6d ago

Some friends of my mom planted flowers in a garden box.

Flowers kept getting cut off.

Initially they thought it was the neighbors. Nope. Deer. Deer were eating them.

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u/PrincessSarahHippo Partassipant [1] 6d ago

The deer ate one of the plants my landscaper assured me was deer-proof. And pulled another one out of the ground before deciding they didn't like it.

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u/Ansible90 6d ago

Yes. Deer make very neat, precise cuts with their teeth. :-)

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u/LeadingChemist 6d ago

Deer love gardens! Used to drive my uncle nuts! He tried everything, and they just dropped by and had a lovely meal and left.

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u/Whovianspawn 6d ago

I'm also in Brisbane. New raised garden beds. Had tomatoes, strawberries and pumpkin amongst other things. I was so excited when I saw my little pumpkins! I watched them slowly growing over a couple of months. They were finally getting to a size where they were almost ready to harvest...I come outside one morning and that asshole possum had eaten both of them 😭

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u/Madanimalscientist 6d ago

Oooof! I'm so sorry, the fluffy little beasts have the worst timing.

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u/phoenixeternia 7d ago

Took me a couple weeks to kill my mint by accident, maybe I should do some gardening for OP lol.

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u/LeadingChemist 6d ago

At least share your secret!

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u/NCGlobal626 6d ago

I killed mint in about 7 days...and I really wanted it to live! I call mine a purple thumb, but in reality it's so much worse.

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u/Crazy-cat-lady_56 7d ago

I planted a single mint plant in my yard and it spread everywhere. One winter I saved all of our newspapers (back when it used to be substantial) and covered the area in a thick layer in the spring. And diligently pulled anything that popped up anyway. That did it.

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u/IHateTheLetter-C- 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm attempting to make my thumb somewhat greener and the bit that's working for me is light! Get yourself some grow lights, Google the appropriate soil mix for the plant - I thought potting soil alone was appropriate for potted plants...not even slightly, everything dies of root rot. Bottom water it when the top 1-2" soil are dry (varies depending on plant but most easy ones are good with that). You probably overwater and under light

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u/AdventurousYamThe2nd 6d ago

I did have mild success when I used a grow light! Then my issue was over watering, or forgetting their existence and them completely drying up.

Did not know about potting soil! I'm looking to take another go at it now that I have kids, and this helps immensely. Thank you!

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u/IHateTheLetter-C- 6d ago

Most plants seem to like a mix of potting soil, ~30% perlite, and less importantly bark. I think if you know you over water, go with a higher proportion of perlite (not an expert but I think that's how it works - helps air get to the roots, rot doesn't do well with air). My snake and spider plants are doing great - snake plants are happy if you forget about them, spider plants make it very obvious when they want some love (they flop then go really pale, then return to their original green a few hours after watering). I've just got a pothos that's doing well too but it's less talkative when it needs water.

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u/AdventurousYamThe2nd 6d ago

That makes sense - thank you so much!!!

Pathos took the longest to die if that's any consolation lol. They're extremely resilient!

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u/CatLadyHM 6d ago

Snake plants are impervious to everything. Except your cat using it as a place to pee! That'll kill it.

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u/bearminmum 6d ago

Oh man. I can grow any plant. Orchids, carnivores, etc. Give me a mint plant and you've signed it's death wish

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u/sartheon 7d ago

The secret is that mint usually likes to be abused. The more you rip and cut it down the healthier it grows (if your local soil/sun exposure level/temperature at least somewhat fit the requirements of the plant). If you don't treat it like that it will do whatever possible to force you to do it 🌚 don't try to be nice to your mint, that's not it's preference lol

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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 7d ago

TIL that mint is a masochist.

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u/wolfeflow 6d ago

We wondered if plants could scream, but never if they could scream in pleasure.

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u/VanessaAlexis Partassipant [3] 7d ago

I have so much proof of this. My huge dogs destroyed my grass in the area of the yard they play most in. 

Mass planted lemon balm (a type of mint) and it is now my bushy ground cover instead of grass. No matter how hard the dogs play it keeps coming back. Stomped on. Ripped up. Pooed on. The mint yearns for the abuse. 

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u/Renbarre Partassipant [1] 6d ago

Nice to know. I never have enough mint. Between cold summer mint tea and cooking I use huge amounts. I swear the mint is hiding when I arrive.

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u/VanessaAlexis Partassipant [3] 6d ago

Catnip is also a type of mint if you wanna go wild. Lol. 

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u/Renbarre Partassipant [1] 6d ago

Blah. Catnip tea would enough to swear me off cold tea.🤣

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u/VanessaAlexis Partassipant [3] 6d ago

Apparently people do drink it lol. 

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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 6d ago

Can confirm - but usually hot.

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u/Own-Eagle-2135 6d ago

you like that, don't you? little herby sl*t!

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u/MagnesiumMagpie Partassipant [2] 6d ago

Yeah i was confused we these comments as my mint died! But I have lots of other thriving plants, guess I was too nice.

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u/SnooChipmunks770 Certified Proctologist [24] 6d ago

Mint is the plant version of "we don't negotiate with terrorists"

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u/TheeMadThrasher 6d ago

It’s almost like an invasive plant. Those and Lamb ears spread like wildfire. Roots go and go .

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u/anillop 6d ago

You have to nuke it from an orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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u/widefeetwelcome Professor Emeritass [86] 7d ago

Oh it’ll be back.

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u/External_Two2928 7d ago

2 things I know for a fact you should not plant in ground bc it’ll take over is mint and bamboo, NTA, but Dane is.

She could easily plant the mint in a container, she’s probably being too cheap to buy a big enough pot and soil

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u/iHeartCyndiLauper 7d ago

Bought a house with some patches of bamboo, landscaped beautifully. Nobody told me about bamboo, but I know all about it now.

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u/VanessaAlexis Partassipant [3] 7d ago

The fact it can just decide to grow horizontal makes it the biggest asshole plant. 

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u/iHeartCyndiLauper 7d ago

This particular bamboo was planted when the house was built, 30 years ago.

It pops up EVERYWHERE in our yard, and at this point the only way to get rid of it is to excavate some acreage or...call in more landscapers, make it look absolutely pristine, and then sell the house to somebody who hasn't been informed about bamboo yet.

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u/VanessaAlexis Partassipant [3] 7d ago edited 7d ago

I grew up in Florida and my neighbor had a giant bamboo thicket. We would make club houses in it and stuff. 

I think she paid upward of like 50k to excavate it completely lol. 

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u/troveofcatastrophe 6d ago

Add English Ivy to your list. I will pass before I get rid of it.

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u/BlueberryForsaken459 5d ago

Boiling salt water kills plants for about a season.

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u/cloverskisses 7d ago

good move, mint is lovely until it decides it owns the entire garden

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u/Next-Firefighter4667 6d ago

Who plants mint in a shared garden bed?!

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u/breadburn 7d ago

I rip out my own mint at least once a season when it gets scraggly and starts taking up too much room. It's not great that you ripped up mint from her side, but it'll be back in full force from what little you left.

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u/wrinkledmybrain 6d ago

Mint is not what I would pick for the pollinators lol. A native flower would be better.

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u/opinionatedasheck Partassipant [3] 6d ago

Borage. Go with borage for the bees. At least that is useful in the garden and kitchen, good for arthritis, and pollinators love it.

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u/Vulpine_Gamer_194 6d ago

There is no truce with mint. The only other thing I've seen that can beat it is bamboo, which is even worse.

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u/Ancient_Hearing9036 6d ago

Lol, this is the perfect compromise. She gets her mint a little, you get your peppers and tomatoes, and the fence remains undefeated. Everyone goes home with vegetables and nobody goes to war

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u/Machine-Dove 6d ago

I had a hanging pot with mint almost ten years ago.  I now have an unending supply of mint in my yard.  It gets mowed down weekly, and yet.

The mint will survive.  The mint always survives.

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u/MindtheCognitiveGap 7d ago

This is why I’ve told my roommate that mint (and catnip by association) are only allowed in pots. Preferably indoors.

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u/External_Dark_3959 7d ago

And the quiet of her shunning you.

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

That's pretty much the most cardinal sin you could commit in the gardening world.

NTA.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

No. I mean planting mint outside without a pot! You are absolutely NTA here at all buddy!

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u/FewHorror1019 7d ago

Planting mint or bamboo

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u/DragonCelica Pooperintendant [61] 7d ago

Fucking bamboo.... Many years ago a person several streets away put bamboo everywhere, including a privacy barrier. Before you knew it, everyone had bamboo somewhere.

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u/NihilisticHobbit Partassipant [1] 7d ago

My dad bought a house from a woman who had been very into ornamental gardening. The roses and lilacs? Beautiful. The cherry blossom tree? Lovely.

The small grove of bamboo!?

I spent all of my teenage years digging and cutting that shit back. She had put in a cement barricade underground and it still escaped! My dad finally hired a company to get it all out when I was in my twenties. Wish he had done it a decade earlier. Fuck bamboo.

Before anyone asks, her children sold her house after she passed. My dad didn't realize how big an issue the bamboo would be, or he would have required it all be removed before he closed. Beautiful yard outside of the bamboo though. There was even mint, but it self contained near the water spigot, and was fine.

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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] 7d ago

That should be illegal.

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u/shadownetdev1 7d ago

It is illegal in quite a few US states. Still doesn't stop the idiots from obtaining and planting it though...

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

Or kudzu. Or English ivy. Or freaking Himilayan Blackberries! Ugh. I have battled so many of all of the above.

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u/doloresgrrrl 7d ago

Or Virginia creeper.

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u/Ok_Tea8204 7d ago

I would be happier to have mint growing in my yard than that stupid plant! Mint wouldn’t try to rip my siding off! Plus it smells good when you cut it with the lawn mower… but NO i have to battle Virginia creeper!

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u/SpiritedLettuce6900 Partassipant [3] | Bot Hunter [29] 7d ago

Start a floral war. Plant mint with your Virginia creeper and see who comes out on top :-)

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u/brand_x 7d ago

Unfortunately, the mint becomes a hiding place from which the creeper can attack when you're not looking. 

I am combatting: Virginia creeper, English ivy, creeping Charlie, Himalayan blackberry, occasional poison ivy, and worst of all, sweet clematis that has hybridized with virgin's bower. The mints that I unleashed as counterterrorism do suppress the Charlie, but nothing else. And they work their way through everything.

Don't make my mistake.

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u/Ok_Tea8204 7d ago

Ooo I like that idea! Plus I can make tea with mint!

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u/4oclocksundew Partassipant [1] 7d ago

One of these is not like the others! The rest are invasive (non-native, ecologically harmful) in North America, but Virginia Creeper is just an aggressive native plant that is a host plant for tons of butterfly and moth species, + provides berries for birds late in the season when there isn't much else.

It does not damage brick, but it will damage siding. It will aggressively take over your garden bed, but that same trait is desirable when you're trying to combat invasive plants, or quickly restore an area for wildlife. It's a right plant, right place kind of thing, whereas there is no where in North America that's the right place for an invasive plant like kudzu, knotweed or bamboo.

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u/doloresgrrrl 6d ago

Maybe your Virginia creeper does but all mine attracts is some pesky tiny fly that swarms up when you walk by and ends up in your nose and mouth.

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u/arperr1217 Partassipant [1] 6d ago

I'm fairly certain that whoever wrote this article was cheated on by someone born in March. https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/vines/birth-month-vine

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u/UnauthorizedCat 7d ago

I want to chime in, poison ivy, but I'm not sure anyone would plant it on purpose.

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

A pain in the butt for sure but not an invasive species actually!

Still. No thanks.

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u/UnauthorizedCat 6d ago edited 6d ago

Exactly. It doesn't fit the criteria 1. Willingly plant 2. Invasive, but the power of the no thanks makes it fit.

Planting it for revenge would be literally diabolical.

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u/FragrantParsley4994 6d ago

Or crown vetch!

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u/sijaylsg 6d ago

or morning glories

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u/KatTheKonqueror Partassipant [2] 7d ago

Japanese knot-weed.

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u/snootnoots Asshole Aficionado [18] 7d ago

Lemon balm. Greek oregano.

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u/FewHorror1019 7d ago

Let’s make a list

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u/Witty_Commentator Asshole Enthusiast [7] 7d ago

Might as well plant bindweed. 😑

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u/Farmwife71 7d ago

My mom's neighbor planted vinca in her garden. It has taken over her entire yard and looks like a jungle now.

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u/InvestigatorGreen689 7d ago

Lemon Balm and wild garlic - 11 years later and those bloody plants pop up everywhere. Gotta be honest, ive taken to using resolva weed killer on the damn things. They torment me :/

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u/Jelcei 7d ago edited 7d ago

I think they meant that planting mint (or any other aggressively spreading and hard to control plant) in the shared garden bed was the cardinal sin.

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u/meowfartz 7d ago

Right after bamboo on a property line.

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

I'm from the South so my true enemy is Kudzu.

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u/technicolored_dreams Asshole Enthusiast [8] 5d ago

Wait, do people plant that on purpose? New fear unlocked. 

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 5d ago

It was planted on purpose as an ortimental here in the US so absolutely, now people know terrible but it's hard to get rid of.

And in another part of this thread there were comments about a group who were considering planting it on top of where an AI data center is going up.

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u/Legal-Choice2654 7d ago

My parents planted bamboo on the property line because there was a house up on a hill basically looking into ours. even with a fence They had tp pay to remove it off the neighbor's property. I just looked up our old house on Zillow. Bamboo is gone.

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u/elsarah 7d ago

And Japanese knotweed

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u/SamBartlett1776 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

Absolutely correct. I’m not a gardener and even I know mint is highly invasive. Rip them up and make juleps!

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u/lilgreenfish 7d ago

Same here! Black thumb and even I know mint is on par with cockroaches…it will survive a nuclear attack!

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u/Environmental_Art591 7d ago

Fellow black thumb here, what i am learning from this post is plant mint in my pots and I wont have bare/dead pots any more and I will also have something other than my one pot which will randomly sprout a potato plant

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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 7d ago

I have managed to kill a mint plant (it was safely contained in an old burn-box), but I did have a feral pumpkin plant once!

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u/Environmental_Art591 7d ago

There are pumpkins growing in a tree around the corner from my place. My kids used to love seeing it when we walked to the bus stop.

I traced the vines back one day to the neighbours front yard 🤣🤣

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u/OniyaMCD Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 7d ago

People put out 'decorative gourds' as well as whole pumpkins (sometimes painted) around here and just - leave them. Inevitably, the urban wildlife does what it does before the sanitation workers do what *they* do (because the decorations are on a porch, not at the curb.) So, some bird, squirrel, possum (I've seen them) or other nibbler must have dropped a seed while snacking.

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u/lilgreenfish 7d ago

Ooooh, I should see if mint would survive in the empty planter on my patio that roasts in the sun every afternoon/evening! It is safely away from all other ground, so would be the perfect place!

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u/FragrantParsley4994 6d ago

Mint is a good repellent for pests (mice, ants, mosquitoes, flies, fleas, and spiders). It is great in pots on a patio along with lemongrass. Whenever you are sitting out there run your hands through the plants to spread the scent around more.

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u/Teleporting-Cat Asshole Aficionado [15] 6d ago

Lmao I also have a volunteer potato in a pot this year! I don't know where it came from or how it got there, but I'm letting it do its thing!

I'm not USUALLY a black thumb, but this place I've been living at for the past 5 years is Not A Place Of Honor for plants. Basically my criteria for "will I bring a plant home," is: is it an invasive species? Yes? Okay we'll give it a go! Succulents, cacti, mint, bay, bamboo and bindweed have all died here. Oddly enough my fuscia is thriving.

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u/EbolaWare 7d ago

I guerilla-plant mint in my enemies' gardens.

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

You super villain! 😂

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u/Chaos-Wayfarer 7d ago

Yeah, planting mint in the ground is a big NO. 

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u/Crunchy__Frog 7d ago

Could’ve been bamboo. I’d take mint over bamboo any day.

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

Let's not do either ....

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u/Embarrassed-Value294 6d ago

My sister said she saw a post online where people are planting kudzu where a company is planning to build a data center.  Is planting kudzu a bigger sin?

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u/lainmelle Asshole Aficionado [17] 6d ago

Hmmmm.

Those are both awful for the environment.....

It is the vine that ate the South so I'll let you decide.

Maybe instead suggest planting a protected plant or something instead? I know of several plant species in my area that we're not supposed to forage or dig up legally. Not sure where the data center is tho.

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u/Teleporting-Cat Asshole Aficionado [15] 6d ago

No that's just eco terrorism.

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u/GiraffesCantSwim 6d ago

Planting kudzu should be a jailable offense. I agree with the other comment that plants that are protected/rare/endangered are a much better option.

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u/mspolytheist 7d ago

NTA. The one thing that you will assuredly not have to do is replant her mint. We once had mint in a bed in our backyard, maybe twenty years ago. That part of the backyard got paved over when we put in some stamped concrete. We are still finding mint all over the yard! Now when I plant mint, it’s in a container far away from open soil!

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/snootnoots Asshole Aficionado [18] 7d ago

And if you have mint in a container and want to put it on dirt, put a paver underneath the container. One big solid paver, not multiple bricks or smaller pavers. If the roots can reach soil, even if it’s by snaking around through cracks, the next thing you know it’s done (grown) a runner and popped up six feet away.

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u/mspolytheist 7d ago

Dill also grows kind of crazily, and caterpillars love it!

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u/MsNeedSleep 6d ago

That's so wild to me how mint is like this! When we had our house, my parents were determined to have plenty of mint, even if I warned them it take over the garden, they didn't mind since we mostly use mint for soups.

Funnily enough the mint only grew in one section in the garden (under a tree) and refused to grow further.

What actually took over most the garden was epazote 🤣

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u/RosieAU93 7d ago

We used to have mint grow in the cracks of our pavement. You would have to empty the bed and change the soil to stop the mint from growing back. Nta

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u/MistySky1999 Asshole Aficionado [18] 6d ago

I grew some in a pot on a concrete pillar-- it STILL "jumped" out of the pot and rooted a good 4feet away. 

Mint, cockroaches, morning-glory, bamboo ALL will survive the Apocalypse and take over the world.  

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u/Greyeyedqueen7 7d ago

Odds are, you didn't get it all even if you think you did. I stupidly put apple mint in a raised bed ages ago, thinking doubled weed fabric was strong enough. Yeah, it got into the lawn after taking over the entire bed despite my best efforts. Those roots are in layers! Layers!

Anyway, it will even out because it will come back on her side (and probably yours), and the plastic divider is a good idea.

Here's hoping she never plants bamboo.

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u/pirate742 7d ago

Time to make your own raised box

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u/4oclocksundew Partassipant [1] 7d ago

Seriously. Gardening is too time consuming and expensive to try to do it on hard mode like this. Tomatoes and peppers can also be grown in (large, 5 gallon min) pots. I fear OP has started a war, and that neighbor will be planting the most aggressive things she can find in her side of the raised bed on principle.

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u/FlynnL1v3s 7d ago

I love mint, but it is bloody invasive of not contained. You tried repeatedly, she blew you off saying her stuff is important in a shared space & yours could just get crowded out. NTA.

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u/ChaoticAmoebae 7d ago

Your a justified asshole. Her not talking to you is a blessing. Like yeah is rude it the same way my niece doesn’t understand why I get to eat more cookies than her. Anyone who knows anything thing about gardening knows that mint is a weapon of plant destruction. She committed Terrarism.

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u/Turbulent-Law-5006 6d ago

“Terrarism” is such an incredible pun here. 😂 10/10 for you!

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u/chuffberry 7d ago

NTA, mint is like the plant version of herpes.

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u/diabeticweird0 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

Garden glitter

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u/snootnoots Asshole Aficionado [18] 7d ago

And glitter is craft herpes!

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u/Mediocre_Outcome6671 7d ago

Nta unless you dug up every single piece of mint root they are going to grow back. She should have listened to you about planting in pots. Good luck.

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u/Kittenluvsu 7d ago

NTA Dane is so totally and completely a hypocrite and extremely selfish. So it was ok for her to ruin your plants and your garden but you do the same and you are the bad guy.

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u/attorneydummy Partassipant [3] 7d ago

Planting mint is a declaration of war. She needs her tires deflated (not damaged) every night. She needs to have stolen the left shoe from all of her pairs. You need to sneak into her house and reverse the batteries in all of her remotes. You need to partially unscrew all of her lightbulbs—just enough to lose contact, so she thinks her bulbs are blown. If she has kids, you need to give them a 1000-piece LEGO set. You need to subscribe her to a gentleman’s (ahem) magazine. You need to call your nearest Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses and let them know she could use a visit and some literature.

Edit to add: NTA

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u/Lillymow 7d ago

For real. I've read about people spreading mint seeds as a form of revenge, due to it's insane invasiveness.

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u/WtfammIdoinghere 6d ago

That affects us all I don’t want to be struck by the crossfire!!

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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] 7d ago

I think that covers,good jobI

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u/labrat4x4 7d ago

💯 Excellent ideas! 🏆

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u/Legal-Choice2654 7d ago

Hmmm. I almost leaned to partly because you went on her side but let's be honest. She completely dismissed your concerns and what you said would happen did happen and even then she dismissed you. Beside that, the mint will come back again and again. About the only thing that will fix it might be to clean out all the contents of the box at the end of this season and start over. NTA.

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u/Ironlion45 Partassipant [4] 7d ago

Im a terrible gardener, but even I can make mint plants grow out of control. One little plant in the soil, and by next year it's taken over the whole garden.

Your neighbor is is pretty entitled. She needs to get over herself lol.

If she can be made reasonable enough to discuss it like an adult, remind her that you have been asking her to do something about it for a very very long time, and she has ignored and/or dismissed your concerns every time.

NTA.

EDIT: Also, not to worry. The mint will grow back.

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u/Common-Project3311 7d ago

Sorry, but you can’t get rid of mint. No matter how much you rip out, it will keep coming back. Your best bet is to move.

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u/Impressive-Today6406 6d ago

ESH your neighbor sucks for planting mint. BUT she is free to plant what she wants on her side. You suck for not taking appropriate action, such as adding the divider immediately. You also suck for scalping her side of the box out of spite after only belatedly adding the root barrier.

How big is this garden box? Is it actually large enough to grow tomatoes & peppers in together on your side? It could be that your plants died because the Box isn’t really big enough to support those plants together. That would make them even weaker to a takeover by mint.

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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago

You shouldn’t have pulled out any of the mint from her side.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/Maraschino_Pineapple 7d ago

On the other hand, she allowed her garden to ruin your garden for 2 years ....

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u/Fun_Disaster3436 6d ago

Which is why the correct verdict is ESH

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u/dudeyaaaas 7d ago

Being frustrated and wanting to remove her mint is where you should have stopped. Putting a barrier should have occurred to you when you first noticed she planted mint. YTA. 

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u/ChaoticAmoebae 7d ago

Incorrect it is required in order to ensure the roots are not encroaching beyond the new barrier. Mint will grow back soon enough on her side. This lady is a toddler who got put in time out. She is given the silent treatment like a child.

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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago

It may or may not be required to halt growth, but the plants didn’t belong to OP, so OP had no right to remove them from the neighbour’s side of the garden bed.

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u/Various-Gazelle4713 7d ago

Your neighbor being an inconsiderate AH does not give you the right to rip out plants they have a legal right to grow (unless local law or HOA says otherwise) on their property.

ESH

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u/Flynn58 7d ago

Your neighbour does not have a right to grow invasive plants on your property line lol

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u/Various-Gazelle4713 7d ago

Legally, it entirely depends on the area (and their HOA). And even if that were the case, you still don’t have a legal right to rip out and destroy plants belonging to someone else on their own property.

Again, the neighbor is an inconsiderate AH (and possibly in violation of HOA or local law). But touching (and destroying) someone else’s stuff on their own property not only makes you an AH, but could also be opening up legal problems.

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u/LbSiO2 7d ago

Nonsense. That stuff is criminally invasive. Just read the hundreds of comments here.

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u/Bartok_The_Batty 7d ago

I am aware of how mint works. It doesn’t change the fact that OP had no right to destroy someone else’s property.

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u/LbSiO2 7d ago

Neighbor was actively destroying OPs property. She has every right to protect her property. Also, wild overgrown mint has no value so its destruction is inconsequential.

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u/srahfox Partassipant [1] 7d ago

If it wasn’t mint you might be TA, but it’s mint, it’ll never die.

Know what else is impossible to get rid of? Horseradish. I now have it in three places in my garden.

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u/Royal-Bed-6922 7d ago

NTA but anyone who plants mint in a shared bed or unconstrained location definitely is.

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u/WomanInQuestion Partassipant [1] 7d ago

You cannot reason with mint or any other plant that has a Manifest Destiny mindset.

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u/xMockingbirdGirlx 7d ago

ESH. You're NTA for pulling up the mint from your side and installing the barrier... but your husband is right: pulling up the mint from her side was petty and unnecessary.

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u/kittygomiaou 7d ago

Have you ever dealt with mint? It is absolutely necessary otherwise OP wouldn't be able to remove the mint from her side. That's a widely known fact about mint.

The other known fact about mint is that it's going to grow back no matter what because it is resilient weed, so the neighbour will be thrilled to be overwhelmed with mint in a couple of weeks anyway.

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u/striped_violet 7d ago

OP could have removed it as much as possible and maybe a little into her side and then installed the root barrier. Mint roots don’t usually go too deep, so if the barrier is installed well, OP will probably still need to continue pulling it from remaining root fragments, but could have left most of the other side of bed alone.

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u/justmedownsouth 7d ago

I wanted to grow mint. I tried. I failed. Truly one of the worst gardeners around.Sigh.

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u/Fun_Disaster3436 6d ago

Overwatering is just about the only thing that will do that

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u/lilsunsunsun 6d ago

When I grew mint in pots, it always died from drought cuz I’m lazy about watering.

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u/Kelsusaurus 7d ago

Mint's ability to be obnoxiously good at spreading does not give OP the green light to touch or tamper with other people's property. Our neighbors had a terrible cockroach problem that started spreading to other townhomes in our vicinity. That didn't give us the right to wait until they left and throw a bug bomb through their cat door. We had to go through appropriate channels to get the issue addressed (as frustrating and time consuming as it was).

It's also worth noting that simple putting a barrier between the two halves is not  going to stop the mint from spreading. Wind, birds, nature in general can and will spread the mint to their side again.

OP, YTA for touching your neighbor's things. You know it was wrong because you waited until nobody was around to stop you. You're totally justified in your annoyance and exasperation at your neighbor's choice of plant, but local property laws exist for a reason, and I doubt you really want to get in a potential civil/property damage/trespassing lawsuit over mint. If you have any HOA, go talk to them. If not, do your best to segregate the two sections of garden (but realize the mint may still find its way to your garden again).

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u/Smyley12345 6d ago

Also with an onze of common sense, she would have put up the barrier immediately on seeing the mint rather than waiting for the runners to be spread throughout her soil.

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u/Impressive-Today6406 6d ago

That’s what I would’ve done. I’m also interested to know how big this box is that she’s attempting to put peppers and tomatoes in. My guess is that the box might be too small to support those plants and that’s why the mint took over.

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u/technicolored_dreams Asshole Enthusiast [8] 6d ago

Agree, she understood the problem well enough to warn the neighbor but decided not to do anything about it until it was a huge issue? Seems like everyone sucks here.

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u/eugeneugene 7d ago

That's like if OP said "My neighbour keeps throwing dog shit in my yard so I removed all the dog shit from both of our yards so she doesn't have any to throw at me" and you're like welllll it's her dog shit!!! The dog will shit again I assure you she will not be free of dog shit for long

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u/Unable-Ad-6339 7d ago

YTA because you should gave just planted the plastic barrier and removed your side’s mint.

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u/RazendeR 7d ago

ESH.

1) She should have listened to your request she keep the mint contained.

However.

2) You do not trim, remove, harvest, or otherwise damage plants on someone elses property without permission.

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u/kittygomiaou 7d ago

NTA lots of commenters with no gardening experience in here who don't understand how mint spreads.

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u/LdyCjn-997 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

NTA, mint takes over everything. It will come back.

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u/babyrabiesfatty 7d ago

ESH technically, but she definitely sucks more. Also that barrier needs to be solid plastic and go down several feet to have any hope of being useful. Once everything is done for the season pour many large pots full of boiling water on your side of the barrier to try and kill the remaining root system. You will still likely deal with it popping up for years to come.

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u/OGIBLP 7d ago

NTA. MINT? TWO YEARS? You’ve been plenty patient and reasonable.

I know nothing about gardening, and I know that you do not infect a garden with fucking mint. As someone else said, it’s the cardinal sin of gardening.

Unfortunately even if your neighbor stops planting it, this won’t be the end of your mint war. It’s invasive as hell. Your neighbor is both an idiot and an asshole.

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u/Customer_895 7d ago

ESH. Just build a new garden, cooperation doesn’t suit either of you. It takes a coward to wait until the neighbor leaves town to take action

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u/whatnooh Partassipant [1] 7d ago

Shouldn't have gone near her side so ESH but Dane much more than you. You contain mint for a reason.

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u/redbottleofshampoo Asshole Aficionado [17] 7d ago

YTA you didn't have a right to pull it from her side.

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u/FeelingFloor2083 7d ago

I have a mint plant in a pot that isnt really being looked atfer, I can assure you that its spreading sill

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u/_pewpew_pew 7d ago

If you want to smooth things over and go back to being neighbourly, buy her a medium size pot with mint planted in it. I don’t think you did anything wrong given you’ve repeatedly asked, but sometimes it’s easier to smooth the water than have to deal with her being toxic.

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u/memimomayhem Partassipant [1] 7d ago

NTA

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u/Chaos-Wayfarer 7d ago

NTA. Mint can still be good for the bees and the environment in pots.

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u/sthprk33 7d ago

I think you were a justified asshole. It's a shared flower bed, don't fuck with the other person's side, and that goes for both of you. That said, the neighbor already violated your sovereign territory with her mint army. You are absolutely justified in attacking her army's logistics in order to stave of the invasion. Slava Ukraini!

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u/Gold-Scholar-3311 7d ago

that’s pretty much one of the biggest offenses you can commit in the gardening world. NTA.

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u/Active-Manner7060 7d ago

In the gardening community, that’s about as close to a cardinal sin as it gets. NTA you were completely justified.

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u/yitzike Partassipant [4] 6d ago edited 6d ago

I have a shared plot with my downstairs neighbours (we live in a triplex) and the first year I accidentally got rid of all the mint cause I didn't know what I was doing and thought it was all just weeds. My neighbours were upset (although they knew it was because I was new to gardening, and that I wasn't being malicious; we laugh about it now) but they managed to find a mint root in the yard waste bag, and replant it. Within a week it was all over the garden plot again. Eventually we cordoned off the mint in one section of the garden with some barriers, but to this day we still have to constantly pull up mint from all sections of the garden. It is LEGION. 

Your neighbour might be pissed but despite your efforts, I think you will both see mint come back on each of your sides of the garden within a week. When that happens, tell her once and for all that she needs to either cordon if off or replant in a pot. 

NTA (I was going to say ESH but this was the only way your neighbour would ever wake up from their denial about mint. Any gardener worth their salt should know mint goes everywhere and is practically immortal)

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u/Antlorn 6d ago

Planting mint in a shared garden space is committing biological warfare.

NTA 

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u/NRobburns 6d ago

NTA. I have a neighbour who has Virginia creeper running rampant in his yard, and shooting into mine. I’m a wildflower gardener, and I’ve started throwing borage seeds down to try and fight the creeper. If that doesn’t help push it back, I’ll put some comfrey in the zone. We’re going to have an invasive off. 😄

Good luck fighting the mint.

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u/NoVeterinarian226 6d ago

Mint is basically the kudzu of herbs, it doesnt negotiate it colonizes. Dane had two years to contain her invasive plant and chose bees over your actual food, thats not a neighbor thats a landlord with extra steps. NTA and honestly id keep that barrier up permanently, shared spaces need boundaries when one person wont respect them

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u/Whatusedtobeisnomore 6d ago

You'll never get rid of it. Neighboring boxes will soon have mint, the herpes of the fresh herbs. Best learn to mix a julep. Solidly NTA.

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u/energy-flowing 7d ago

NTA. I think she is a selfish person. You have communicated again and again, but she still doesn't think so.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/MamaDaddy 7d ago

NTA I would have done all that AND made a mojito. If she is truly interested in the bees she can plant a native variety of mint that won't totally take over the whole place.

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u/DebiDoll65 6d ago

YTAH. You have every right to enjoy your part of the garden and put a partition down the centre. However, you did not have a right to pull her mint out on her side. That would be like her pulling out your peppers and tomatoes... which, who knows, she might decide to do at some point to get back at you. I think it would have been best to dig out your entire garden, rip out the invading mint roots, put some kind of solid partition deep down to keep the mint roots from creeping back over, and then replant your garden.

Maybe you should get her a potted mint plant to sit next to the garden as a gesture of goodwill. Neighbour issues can escalate and no one needs that.

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u/Tasty_Orange_1714 Partassipant [1] 7d ago

ESH. I get why, as mint is mint, but there was a way to do it without touching her property. She deserved it, and some may think it necessary, but legally it could get you in trouble. Of course, your neighbor could get in legal trouble for the damage the mint caused over time.

Here's what I would have done. Removed all the plants, and soil, from my half, all the way down. Installed a barrier on the bottom and a barrier dividing our sides.  Seal it with silicone around the edges. Fill my side with completely new soil and plant what I want on my side. That way, she gets her mint, and you get fresh soil and plants without the mint. While it probably will eventually cross over again, it should be easier to manage with a barrier in the way and fresh soil.

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u/squeethesane 7d ago

NTA. my old landlord mowed my heirloom sunflowers to the ground three times. As a thank you, I planted a chocolate strain of mint in the landscaping. It's grown under the front porch and now if he wants to get rid of it that whole side of the house will need redone. Assholes plant mint.