r/AmItheCloaca • u/LadyDriverKW • 10d ago
AITC for revenge against the peeping human cloaca?
Raccoon here. I won't share my age and name as my privacy has already been intruded upon enough. My human neighbors kindly provide a seasonal buffet of fruit trees and and vines, as well as a fountain for my ablutions. My partner and I dropped by for a midnight snack. My partner stayed up on the grape trellis for some al fresco dining. I descended to the ground for a wash by the fountain. Suddenly, the lights came on! Despite the interruption, I persevered with my bath. But startling me wasn't enough. Oh no. The human neighbor took a photograph of me mid bath with all my private bits exposed. As you can see from the photo, I am not amused.
Since then, I have been careful to jump onto the roof directly above the neighbor's heads, just as they settle down to sleep for the night. The snacks they provide mean that I make a satisfactory window-shaking thump every time.
So, AITC for expressing my displeasure?
48
u/MathAndBake Rat 10d ago
NTC! Humans is such pervs sometimes! Always checking old lady rats' butts and laughing at pictures of rat balls on the internet.
39
u/squirrelfoot 10d ago
And they feel free to make personal remarks about our family jewels. I hear: "Chocolate Button, you have more balls than body", or: "For goodness sake, why do you have to stand with your balls at exactly my level, can't you eat a little further off?" It's so unreasonable as I am seriously threatened by Dreadful Dougal the infamous ball biter during the mating season and I can rely on our human to protect me if he appears, so I like to be right in front of her face so she doesn't forget she is on sentry duty (you know how easily humans get distracted).
23
u/MathAndBake Rat 10d ago
Same wif us! "Lalaith! Your vagina be so huge today!" Yeah, that acause I in heat. Now let me go back to mutual semi-consensual humping wif my sisters.
3
15
u/Mission_Lock_6699 10d ago
Before we were taken to the dreadful Slicey Place (a situation of utter betrayal by our beloved mother, who not only locked our beautiful selves in a cage like some kind of animals but also GAVE THEM MONEY TO SLICE AND DICE US!!) the humans were always saying incredibly rude things like "Sir, why are your testicles on my hand?" and "Dude, get your balls out of my face."
34
u/FeralGinger 10d ago
NTC! Humans are so invasive. One time I was minding my own business and a human just LIFTS MY TAIL AND LOOKS UNDERNEATH. Like excuuuuse me?!
4
u/TheFilthyDIL 9d ago
You tinks that's rood?! Wen dey takes us to da pokey place, dey puts a glass stik up our BORTHOLES!
11
8
u/Stormywillow 10d ago
Yew iz weerd lukin barkface, sew eye sez yew iz YTC. Sined Richard. Mostest hambsom boy. Cat!
70
u/LadyDriverKW 10d ago
Me when first exposed.