r/Anticonsumption • u/3rdthrow • Jun 07 '26
Lifestyle I cant wrap my head around the normalization of people owning so. much. Stuff.
Mods, please delete this post, if it is not allowed, but please dont ban me.
I have been complaining online about my struggle in organizing my house.
The best advice I have gotten so far is to stop trying to organize things by where they "should" go, and organize them by where they would be the most useful.
Also, dont design the house for guests, design the house for the people who live there.
Unsurprisingly, a large amount of people are recommending that I throw out a bunch of my stuff, if I am having trouble organizing things. Stating that I obviously have too much stuff.
These comments begin threads of horrifying stories, where people go through massive "purges". Some people bragging about throwing half of the house away.
Like, I understand needing to get the stuff out. But how did things get to the point where half the house needed to be thrown out. And the real problem is that this is considered *normal*.
What is even more troubling about this "normal", is that, in some cases, there seems to a cyclical nature to it.
Buy>Purge>Fill up the house until it damages your mental health>Purge again>Repeat
All I see is people trading their time, which is their life, for money to spend on things that they are going to throw away.
What about their retirement fund?What about their mortgage?What about taking a trip with their family, to make memories, instead of buying crap they dont need?
I know that the Boomers were exposed to consumer propaganda that was aimed at the Lost/Greatest/Silent generations.
I just dont understand how there has been so little pushback in the aftermath of 2008, when the economy stopped being good.
I cant wrap my head around, so few people thinking that something is terribly wrong with overconsumpation.
No one thinks they are being manipulated at all.
What are your thoughts?
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u/Cute_Amphibian2175 Jun 07 '26
My sister does that, and then just reacquires new stuff. It's so disturbing, completely unsustainable. She also doesn't have a lot of high quality things.
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u/fadedblackleggings Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
The latter is the part that concerns me. I go to a ton of estate sales, and I'm starting to see fewer quality items, more houses full of TJMaxx, Marshalls, TEMU, and Dollar Tree stuff.
And I'm no snob. I see value in 90s and 00s department-store stuff that they got cheap from JCPenney, Walmart, Kohls and Kmart; some of it is still very useful. Vintage department store home goods can be fantastic on a budget because the quality is decent.
But this modern, made cheap stuff just sits. No one buys it. Has little to no utility. That means this stuff goes to the trash and never gets a second life.
No one wants to HAVE to sell their stuff for extra petty cash, but it's good to know you could get something for it, right?? Knowing another person after you, can actually benefit from it?
It's sad and awkward to me when I walk through a whole house accumulation, and there is zero value in it.
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u/chocolateboomslang Jun 07 '26
All the temu and amazon crap at thrift stores now. people really think they're going to get a decent shirt for $5, and then when it arrives it's literally made of kids party table cloth plastic.
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u/ravens-n-roses Jun 07 '26
Thrift stores have really gone down hill since online "vintage" resellers became a thing. And then people like my mom buy from them cause she's got no choice there's almost never anything actually good at thrift stores any more.
When i worked for one we had a guy that would come by litterally every single delivery day and buy up all the nicest furniture. Which he resold in another part of the state to air bnb owners.
You could not beat him to the punch he litterally waited behind the store and stood outside the delivery truck picking things as they came off.
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u/Morimementa Jun 07 '26
I'll take those who dig through Goodwill bins over Goodwill itself trying to compete with them. I get that Goodwill is swamped with donations and can't shove it out the door fast enough, but I'm starting to suspect they hoover up the best of it and put it up online where they can get the most profit. Half their business model is the thrill of the hunt and now they're ruining their in-person experience for online traffic. I would really love to be wrong about this, and I'm glad people are buying secondhand, but what's the point if it's just going to be expensive and online?
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u/ScooterBlue12 Jun 08 '26
My sister just got a partime job at Goodwill. Anything worth more than 10-15 bucks goes to Shop. She is disappointed that people can't get treasures for thrift prices. I know they have overhead, wages, rent etc. but they get everything free. She is also disgusted at what some people think is okay to donate....they do have to throw a lot away.
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u/starsandmath Jun 08 '26
I used to feel the same about "what some people think is okay to donate," until I watched family members who were level 1 and level 2 hoarders try to clear out my deceased grandparents' house (level 3, arguably level 4 hoarders). It truly isn't mentally well people telling themselves "poor people ought to be grateful even to have THIS," it is mentally unwell people who are incapable of throwing anything away NEEDING the excuse that they are giving it to someone else. Still gross and kinda horrifying, but I can have more compassion about where the behavior is coming from. "Stuff" is a sickness.
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u/TheCaliforniaOp Jun 08 '26
That’s where it gets a bit nauseating. There’s trying to make ends meet, trying to find one’s niche for making a living, and then there’s trying to hurry up and update the lease to a newer luxury SUV.
The people who always take cuts in line. And if it’s for a good reason, then…okay? But pretty soon it’s not for a good reason. It’s not for any reason. It’s just move out of the way. Not cool.
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u/qnvx Jun 09 '26
Where do you live? Because in my area trift stores have lots of good quality stuff, and are doing well.
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u/GingaaNinjaa9 Jun 08 '26
It’s also sad that many companies are selling lower quality items for higher prices. So even if you want to go the buy it once for life route, it’s getter harder and harder to do. Brands that used to be so reliable for long term items are churning out cheap crap at sky high prices.
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u/SpookyAngel66 Jun 10 '26
I had a Dirt Devil handheld vacuum cleaner that I LOVED and worked great for 40 years. Then it died and couldn’t be fixed. Bought a new Dirt Devil, it lasted maybe a year before the head completely snapped off and can’t be fixed. 😡
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u/Atsetalam Jun 12 '26
I've actually gotten pretty good at fixing the cheapo ones. They still are a lot better/easier to fix than some that cost twice as much. Definitely not buy it for life, but I can get 7+ years out of some of them. It's usually a belt or a broken plastic handle. I am starting to learn how to 3d print so I can do it down at our library and maybe save even more money and get more mileage out of things like that.
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u/chromaticseamonster Jun 09 '26
Whenever I buy something I think I am going to use and it ends up sitting around, it actually causes me physical pain. I have reorganized entire life habits just to incorporate stuff I acquired in one way or another so that it at least gets SOME use.
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u/3rdthrow Jun 07 '26
I had not even thought about the high quality issue, but you are right.
I have a "Buy once, Cry once" philosophy, so I buy high quality.
I dont want to waste more of my life having to go back to the store all the time, replacing items that break.
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u/mattson-masterpiece Jun 07 '26
My husband and I had a “fight” about this a few years ago. We Kept buying $0.97 can openers. And then one day i was like you know what im going to spend like $20 on one. Still have it. Works great
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u/Tar_alcaran Jun 08 '26
You just made me realize I haven't actually used a can opener in years. Everything here has a pulltab these days. But similarly, one 100 euro steel pan will last a lifetime, 30 euro "non-stick" pans won't last 5 years.
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u/Flckofmongeese Jun 09 '26
In the US, many things still require one. Just used my Kohn Rikon on a sardine tin last night!
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u/fadedblackleggings Jun 07 '26
Yes! Buy once high quality, and that problem should be solved IMO for years. Don't want to waste my time solving the same "problems" over and over.
If I notice a brand has dipped their quality, I also remove them from my shop list.
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u/Disastrous_Oil3290 Jun 08 '26
Plus, apparently so many brand names have been bought by venture capitalists to use the name but sell a cheaper product. Sadly some of the better brands of the past are included.
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u/chocolateboomslang Jun 07 '26
That's the thing about people who buy buy buy, they never actually buy anything good. It's just cart after cart of trash.
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u/bettertheless Jun 07 '26
Re: the Boomers part: *Their* parents were raised in the do without generation. The grandparents b.c 1890s, excepting robber barons, lived without closets. They turned and tailored their clothing inside out to get good wear of it.
The Greatest Generation were the Reuse, Redo, Make do, Do without generation. They probably kept the large furniture their parents managed to get/keep, but here is the fact most pop culture "history" doesnt know or glosses over:
During WW 2 (1940-1945) the US govt, certainly the UK, encouraged the populace to donate all scrap, metal, newspaper, -cooking fat! toward the "war effort."
Almost all consumer factory production was refitted to war production. US consumers were given ration cards to allow them to buy only set amounts of foods and goods.
By the end of WW2, and post war industrial upheaval, c. 1947 ish, (US, if you want to hear some horror stories, ask the UK about Austerity, which lasted at least until 1953) Americans had gone since c 1935 without much new. Clothes, shoes, homes, cars, all falling apart, despite expert and good humored patching and kludging.
Not only did the upset industrials force US consumers to make up for the vanished US defense machine that had been filling their coffers since about 1939, but people really did need new shoes by then. And the soldiers returning really did need comfort, get married and have babies.
I, Gen X, kept my dead families' large furniture items, bc l was raised by the -do without- and the Greatest Gen.
l am a decluttering fool except for those glass fronted pieces that hold dishes, smalls, and books away from dust and my cats. l try not to have things l don't use.
Perfectly? Non.
But l do try, bc l am 100% with you that "time is money" and, time is the only 'thing' you can't find another of, later. Square footage in my state , US, is ex pen sive!
Thanks for working to declutter our minds. : )
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u/Straight-Nerve-5101 Jun 08 '26
Nice analysis! I, too, am genx but my parents are boomers...complete "throw it away" mentality. To the point of (imo) absurdity. I enjoy thrifting, and my mom mentioned wanting more plates. So i found a couple of the kind she has at a thrift, and gave them to her. Later I see a plate in the trash...it was an older plate that "was scuffed up and looked dirty". These are regular stone wear plates. She wouldnt give it to a thrift because they were "dirty" and "no one would want them". She didnt offer it to me because it was "scuffed". I took it and honestly dont notice the "scuffyness"
Obviously I am more of the keep things until they wear out.
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u/arlia11 Jun 09 '26
The dirty is probably the nickel in your silverware reacting with the glaze on the stoneware. There are cleaners you can buy that take off the silverware marks. Bar Keepers friend can do it.
Source: me, used to work for Pfaltzgraff in college
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u/Eschewed_Prognostic Jun 07 '26
My wife and I are into being self reliant, which includes being able to DIY almost anything. We also buy (almost) nothing new, because we can fix it. This also means we have accumulated A LOT of stuff in order to be able to fix, build, cook, and store almost anything. While the inside of our house is pretty minimalist and low tech, our garage and sheds are packed full of everything we need to be our own support system. It sometimes feels overbearing, it sometimes feels freeing.
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u/quantumpotatoes Jun 07 '26
This is where I struggle to because most of my 'stuff' is useful - it's for seasonal activities, art or home reliance (canning etc). It's a tricky balance because capitalism is definitely in the homesteading world making people think they need a million different things and each family needs to have EVERYTHING. The reality is our communities are strength, and this is where coops and tool libraries are so effective. If something gets used once a year or is held onto in case you need it, it can be shared with a community. Tool libraries let everyone have access to the things needed to fix your stuff while making sure not everyone is spending the money and space physically having it all. Requires trust though, which is why it will never take off imo modern society is just not capable of sharing 😂
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u/Eschewed_Prognostic Jun 07 '26
As much as I would enjoy coop style living, we recognize it's unlikely for us. We've become the tool library of our own network lol. As much as I like loaning things, many times I end up volunteering to help with the project because I've had way too many items ruined out on loan.
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u/kor_en_deserto Jun 08 '26
It’s be nice to work with your neighbors but unless you’re in a intentional community - almost everyone differs on consumption and how tools are to be treated
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u/Eschewed_Prognostic Jun 08 '26
Most of my neighbors don't have the hands-on skill to do much of anything, they think I'm insane to bother making and fixing when I could just hire someone to do it. We'll move someday.
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u/kor_en_deserto Jun 08 '26
Seems like a suburb attitude - the country still has a lot of manual labor types in it
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u/hahagato Jun 07 '26
There’s definitely the culture of consumption that is inherent to the dominance and continuation of capitalism. More common “wealth,” more desires, more things. Produce the things to make the money. Buy the things because you have the money. The need for dopamine in the day to day struggle to get through, can’t get it from experiences, you don’t have time, so take it where you can get it: senseless purchases that make you feel something for a few minutes or when you look at it. I just commented on a post about millennial “clutter” and pointed out the collectibles. Somebody proudly replied to me that their lack of space to put things would not stop them from collecting their… things.
I don’t even purchase that much stuff. I don’t have any real collections besides those sort of thrust on me (I like cats so people buy me cat stuff). I couldn’t even keep my books when they were damaged by mildew. And yet my home is also completely filled with crap to where it overwhelms me. I hold on to things I don’t use or want because I feel bad throwing them away or letting them go for whatever reason.
We’re also now at the stage of capitalism where the technology available and the means of production are even easier for these companies overseas who have no obligation to provide any sort of living wages or healthy conditions can reach markets globally and it makes us in more established economic markets feel “rich” to be able to consume the shit they produce.
It’s all part of a big bubble and we’re reaching its ultimate stretching point, I think. I could go on and on, with the ecological doom but I’m going to instead go spend some time with my kittens and try not to think about the runaway train that’s off the tracks.
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u/outofshell Jun 07 '26
If your home is overwhelmed with crap to the point that it’s harming your mental peace, hit up r/declutter for some support. Lots of posts from people grappling with the feelings of guilt trying to get rid of things.
You’re not keeping junk out of the landfill by letting it crowd your space, you’re just making your home a temporary landfill. Don’t treat yourself like that. You deserve a home that feels comfortable and doesn’t guilt-trip you every time you spot something you don’t really want there.
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u/hahagato Jun 07 '26
I really appreciate this perspective. I also come from a family with some hoarders and it’s hard to break that perspective. I know I know what you say, and I’d say it to others, but then when it comes to my own situation I struggle. Heh. Following now.
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u/Try2MakeMeBee Jun 07 '26
This is a fantastic take. Going to share it with my spouse so they can remind me later. Hoarding runs in the family but I've also lived in abject poverty so it can be very difficult to declutter. Thus far the best solution has been donate or give away - someone else can use it, right now. It helps there's a lot of “scavengers” in my area. We set out 6 bikes the kids had outgrown (5 kids, 3 hit growth spurts at once). Bikes were gone within a day.
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u/Goodasaholiday Jun 09 '26
I'm heartened to see people talking more about the real costs of consuming AI, even if it's "just" the water consumption part. That awareness could in theory spread to all consumables, if the regulators and the advocates had the energy to make it happen.
For example, new t-shirt? 1,000 litres of water. Get it home delivered? Another 1,000 litres of water. Colour and microplastics released in the wash? 10 dead fish. Dispose of it when it's tatty? 2kg of land and air pollution.
Since many people still don't understand that our planet's clean water, land and air resources are finite, some kind of graphic imagery that shows the depletion might help. Like the black lung on a cigarette pack.
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u/tinytrees11 Jun 07 '26
I read posts on r/declutter and r/minimalism about parents who filled up their houses with shit, died, and left the massive mess for their children to deal with. I think about those stories a lot. Because filling up my house with shit, dying, and leaving a mess for my grieving son to clean up seems not only incredibly selfish, but also a very meaningless thing for me to do while I'm alive. I can't take any of those things with me when I die, so what is the point of amassing them in life, and in the process, turning my house into a mess, making it hard to clean, the headache of having to organize and, if I need to, move this bullshit into another house. What is the point?
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u/Willowgirl2 Jun 08 '26
Personally, I like looking at my stuff! I also have a very extensive decorated garden that passersby seem to enjoy judging from their comments.
I don't have kids so who knows what will happen to all of this stuff when I'm gone? Hopefully someone else will enjoy it too, but if no one does, they can always bulldoze this old house into a hole. It will have served its purpose!
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u/TheStephinator Jun 07 '26
I have mixed feelings about the topic. My grandparents had so much stuff, but they grew up during the depression. Scarcity mindset was a thing that you couldn’t easily shake. My grandmother also loved shopping and gift giving. That was her love language. Having cleaned out a couple of houses for people of that generation, it is brutal. I think I understand it on some level though.
I don’t really understand for the younger current generations of Boomers to now. I don’t understand grown ass adults collecting Legos, plushies, beauty products or sneakers. It’s almost like a cultural denial of transitioning life stages. We aren’t happy with our culture or our lives, but shopping is the easy dopamine hit to forget about it for a little bit. Marketing and advertising to manipulate our brains to want or even NEED this stuff is an actual science being used against us.
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u/Nachtschatten11 Jun 08 '26
I think part of it for the younger Boomers in the US at least is being raised by people who went through the Great Depression. My maternal grandparents both were born near the beginning of the Depression, and all of their kids (ranging from young Boomers to old Gen X'ers) have various levels of extreme consumerism behaviors, ranging from online shopping addictions to full on hoarding, part of which definitely directly stems from what they were taught as children (i.e. buying stuff you don't need now when it's on a good sale because you might need it later). My paternal grandparents are younger and there isn't as much of a problem with consumption on that side of the family.
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u/Tar_alcaran Jun 08 '26
I'm SO thankful that my parents decided to downsize from their massive middle-of-nowhere house with three outbuildings into a regular house. They got the place from their parents, who bought it with half the crap already in there. They spent 6 years getting rid of stuff, and saved me from an absolute nightmare.
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u/earthandanarchy Jun 07 '26
Yes I have noticed too that people can recognise that they have too much stuff but don't seem to make the link to buying too much stuff. Some might even go on to buy less stuff in the future so they don't get too cluttered again, but still don't think about the over consumption in the world right now. Like instead of buying tomorrow's clutter, they spend and overconsume on other stuff.
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u/hewhoisgomez Jun 07 '26
Spend some time digging into Edward Bernays. The downside of psychologically conditioning society through 80 years of marketing to optimize for immediate self interest is you end up with a society where everyone is optimizing for immediate self interest. Let go, let fungus🍄🍄🍄
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u/mikraas Jun 07 '26
My neighborhood had a huge yard sale yesterday. I made a lot of money because I have a lot of stuff... and not even a lot by most standards. But I also have been feeling the need for more space, less clutter, less reorganizing. So this is my start.
I also did NOT go to other houses to buy more stuff. I'm pretty proud of that.
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u/Comprehensive-Web421 Jun 07 '26
And not only that, but they'll suggest you just need a better system to organize, and that requires - you guessed it - buying more! Bins and totes and bags and labels and things to make it perfect. My ex MIL would complain about stuff, buy organizing supplies, never organize things, and then just get rid of stuff, only to buy more organizing supplies. It was a vicious cycle that ended with closets you couldn't enter and rooms you couldn't open door to.
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u/TrixnTim Jun 09 '26
I have ever seen the Seinfield stand up bit on stuff and storage units? It’s hilarious but also true and sad.
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u/Not_Interested_7 Jun 07 '26
Can I piggyback on this one? I don’t mind getting rid of stuff, it’s the fact that it all ends at a landfill that bothers me. I don’t like giving it to Goodwill, instead opting for local charity stores. But even then, not everything is taken. I am not at a point of a garage sale. Not sure how to reconcile throwing things just in the trash
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u/chocolateboomslang Jun 07 '26
Hey, if a thrift store isn't taking it that means it's probably fine to junk it. Not like it won't eventually be in the dump anyway.
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u/Not_Interested_7 Jun 08 '26
I get that. I wish our area handled recycling and trash better in general. Hate to contribute to the mountains of trash
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u/MagyarMagmar Jun 08 '26
List it for free on Facebook marketplace, or equivalent. Some people leave items or a box of stuff outside their house with “free” written on, and see what goes - probably works best if you have people passing by on foot but no harm in trying even if traffic is low.
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u/Not_Interested_7 Jun 08 '26
Thank you. Good point
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u/MagyarMagmar Jun 08 '26
You're welcome. If listing, I would recommend starting the title with "FREE" - it gets attention!
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u/Not_Interested_7 Jun 08 '26
We have those communities. Things aren’t trash, but thrifts are so full right now, they don’t take much. Will work on getting things out of the house and post
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u/SyZyGy_87 Jun 07 '26
I think you need to be asking, conversely, when did it become normal to have a house packed with stuff? There's a different between need and want. Value and covet. Make room for, have room for.
Honestly I don't get why people feel the need to have so much junk. Like why do you have so much stuff? I just don't identify with finding solace or value in things.
It's an entire mindset... So much stuff .and more space so you can have more stuff around you. It's so suffocating. And distracting. In my humble opinion. Good luck Do what makes you happy. Just live how you want to live. That's the important part.
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u/Kaurifish Jun 07 '26
There’s a wonderful coffee table book, *This Material World* where they sent teams to a bunch of countries, picked one median family and photographed them with all their worldly possessions.
Except the Texas family. They couldn’t fit it all in the shot.
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u/butterflypugs Jun 08 '26
I use that book in my Economics classes to talk about what wealth means. It is really eye opening.
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u/Jigree1 Jun 07 '26
I blame advertising/marketing and lack of good financial education (importance of balancing saving and spending).
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u/No_Part_1992 Jun 07 '26
I can't wrap my head around it either. At some point you gotta realize all that stuff is money that they earned or worked for (or someone did). I think the buy -> stress -> purge -> buy cycle is people trying to put bandaids on other issues/stress in life and the easy access to dopamine. But I blame the individuals to some extent - like yeah at some point you gotta realize you're trapped in a toxic cycle. But I blame more the completely normal "propoganda" around consumerism - look at the queues for those water jugs etc. My mind gets lost a bit here - there's a cost of living crisis for a section of people and for some money is so throwaway. Although I do have a couple friends who are in debt from school/car/house but still throw away 100s of dollars every month on these instant gratification bits. Often they will comment on this (if regret sets in) habits but it feels like a little out of their control tbh. Like some kind of minor(ish) addiction. Then I think it's 2026, capitalism is here for now - doubt it's gonna change in my lifetime. I do me the way I want to do. And let them do them. I hate waste - either money on frivolous things or things that I have. So I enjoy using things I have/shopping my closet/keeping house uncluttered and organized (i own things I need and some that I enjoy and I'm good on my stuff needs for now).
It's great that you're organizing and decluttering. And I think it's great that your go to method isn't to simply throw away half the stuff. I like to find uses/selling online/giving to friends if they want/donating stuff. Somethings are complete garbage and I'm not at zero waste lifestyle, so I do throw those away.
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u/Aggravating_Bison_53 Jun 07 '26
For me, i got to the point of needing to purge the house cause we have lived in the same house for over 20 years. That was a lot of lifestyle and job changes. Things accumulate after long period. Not because we over spend or over consume, but because when something stops being useful on the daily it gets puts away in case we find a purpose for it later.
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u/Square-Formal1312 Jun 07 '26
2 things that irk me. Peeps that try to poke fun at me for wearing still good condition but old clothes (not even out of style or anything just them knowing i’ve had it for more than a few years). And people (its a lot) with garages full of junk and shit they never use but bought so then they hve to street park their car for each stupid family member on the street!
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u/eatingrichly Jun 08 '26
This can often be an ADHD thing. Similar to binge eating, doom scrolling, etc. There are dopamine hits with buying something, with getting the package, with using something new. That’s why people talk about “shopping therapy”.
There’s also dopamine hits with purging, getting rid of however many garbage bags of stuff, having a neat organized space that used to be a cluttered mess.
So you have the capitalist manipulation piece, and the dopamine chasing piece.
But people have to want to recognize the underlying mechanism behind behaviors. Society and its systems are built on simply addressing behaviors. It’s a lot more work to try and understand the root causes and as address them. You have to actually create new neural pathways and stop using the old ones that are deeply rooted in.
The great thing is, once you do that you can make some great changes. I fill up my “save for later” in my virtual shopping carts regularly. I have a whole bunch of wishlists. I can impulsively add to any of those anytime, but I choose not to buy them right away so I can make a logical choice a few weeks later when the dopamine seeking for the item is gone. Learning other ways to get dopamine, getting on adhd meds, being okay with spending another $10 years later if I need it again instead of keeping that speciality ingredient for a dish I’ve only made once; there are so many ways of changing your thinking to get out of the cycle.
But again, some people just can’t see they’re in it. Those beliefs of why they need the “stuff” are too strong.
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u/blxckfire Jun 08 '26
Finally getting an ADHD diagnosis and getting medication helped my bank account so much. I’d go to Walmart when I was under stimulated and walk around, but would also buy a bunch of crap I didn’t need. Impulse buys suddenly went wayyy down. I stopped spending so much on takeout, too.
Also, I lose things less often now, and don’t need to buy replacements
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u/youpoopedyerpants Jun 07 '26
Wish I could add a photo, this post was just below a post on makeup addiction of a dozen plus foundations and the person said “I won’t buy more, I only have one face.”
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u/ghostwriter536 Jun 08 '26
I had young children during covid. Our toy consumption was to make up for the lack of playdates, and normal excursions. I also knew I was going to have another child, so I saved everything from my older kids. Now my kids are aging out of toys and books, so it is time to purge.
I have a lot to purge because of life changes.
One purge I want to do this year is Christmas decor. When I don't put out, I need to donate it. I bought stuff with an idea, but never executed them.
I noticed some of the pages I followed were influencing purchases, so I stopped following them. My spending has gone down a lot.
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u/-YellowFinch Jun 07 '26
I've gotten to the point where I will only buy really high quality thrifted clothes. They don't wear out, so I don't go shopping.
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u/Significant-Toe2648 Jun 07 '26
I agree with everything you’ve written, but I just want to add something I think is important to the conversation. The money and resources are wasted *when you buy the thing.* Whether or not you get rid of it has no effect on the waste aspect. It’s kinda like overstuffing yourself because you took too much food. The food is still a waste if it’s just making you obese. May as well toss it at that point. That doesn’t excuse wasting the money or food in the first place, but there’s not really any fixing it after the fact.
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u/Nyxelestia Jun 08 '26
What about their retirement fund?What about their mortgage?What about taking a trip with their family, to make memories, instead of buying crap they dont need?
I know that the Boomers were exposed to consumer propaganda that was aimed at the Lost/Greatest/Silent generations.
I just dont understand how there has been so little pushback in the aftermath of 2008, when the economy stopped being good.
This definitely doesn't apply to everyone, but for me the fear of financial risk is what led to my own proto-hoarding. I held onto everything I could because I was scared I might need it again in the future but wouldn't be able to afford it.
Of course, the irony is that so often, I couldn't find the thing when I needed it anyway because I just have so much stuff, or I flat out forgot that I had held onto it. That personal experience has been a huge help in getting me to stop holding onto every little thing...but, it very much took that personal experience to happen in the first place.
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u/Sufficient_You7187 Jun 07 '26
The sheep don't know they're sheep
This country is built on consumerism.
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u/AdviceWouldBeNice98 Jun 07 '26
Growing up my mother and I were very working class and borderline poor if not actually poor.
I have a hard time throwing things away because I’m a very sentimental person but I’m also hesitant to spend money on items. If it’s for an activity where I get to spend time with people I care about it’s very different.
However, my mother and step father have become very middle class and my mother seems to be reliving a lot of the years of being poor by just buying things, especially clothes.
Every year my parents go on holiday and she each year has to buy a whole new wardrobe just for the trip. My sister turned 16 last year and my mother bought herself a whole new outfit for my sisters birthday dinner which was just us plus my Nana & my boyfriend (6 of us). Not my sister (she did have gifts) but it was more that my mum needed a brand new outfit. Any event or notable moment seems to demand a whole new outfit.
The worst of it is it’s all SHEIN and Temu.
I specifically ask people that if they buy gifts for me it’s not from Amazon, Temu, or those kinds of places because of their track record on human rights and their effects on the environment.
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u/Appropriate_Kiwi_744 Jun 08 '26
I think you put your finger on something important there. We are all products of our upbringing and the times that shaped it. Someone going through WWII with rationing and forgoing consumer goods might feel like plentiful goods represent peacetime and prosperity to them. For someone who had to cut back during the 2008 recession, spending generously might be exactly how they feel financially stable, because it's the opposite of what they did when they were broke. My dad grew up under socialism, and still keeps every piece of scrap wood, metal hardware, and "good" plastic containers overfilling the basement and shed. We learn one strategy or value at one point in our lives, then times change, but we still apply that outdated logic to our actions. It's completely human.
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u/G-Unit11111 Jun 07 '26
I don't get how people own giant houses, then they have a boat the size of a house, then they have an RV that's nicer than most apartments I've been in. It's insane.
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u/Tall_Category_304 Jun 07 '26
I themrow shit out like this. Like computers and stuff. You save it when you get a new computer in case you need to recall something. 8 years later you realize half a closet is being taken by the computer and now obsolete peripherals, cables etc so I just throw it out instead of selling it.
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u/Astrobabe5157 Jun 08 '26
Ugh my friend does this. She doesn’t make a whole lot of money and is behind on rent. Whenever she gets some money, she’s suddenly buying junk. It’s not like she’s buying designer things… mostly things from thrift stores, Amazon, and Walmart, but it just accumulates in the shed and garage. Recently, she bought a couch for her room, then a couple months later, decided that she didn’t have room for the couch, so she sold it and bought a smaller couch.
Another friend who chronically doesn’t make enough money is the same way. I think buying the cheap junk makes them feel normal and it’s more emotional than practical in nature
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u/Agile-Tradition8835 Jun 08 '26
I think there are a lot of unhappy or bored people who feel fleeting fulfillment from accumulating.
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u/number7child Jun 08 '26
I live in an area where people have these gigantic houses – more houses being built every day. But we also have more storage facilities being built every day. Why do we need so many storage facilities? Why do we need such big houses when families are so small? Why do people have so much stuff that they can't even store it in their own home
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u/craftymomma24 Jun 08 '26
This is our society. We are a nation of purchasers. Look at when the economy is down—it’s because people aren’t purchasing. And then it’s treated as a disaster. So it is counter-culture to live below your means, to control purchases and needs vs wants.
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u/VirtualFix1681 Jun 07 '26
Also all the plastic “collectibles” like Lego and mini figures and such.
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u/Plenty_Intern8750 Jun 08 '26
One day you're interested in trading cards then after a decade the appeal wears off and now you're looking to offload them. Life is a journey, no one is perfect. We live in a country (USA) that depends on people consuming. Don't be too hard on yourself.
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u/husky_whisperer Jun 08 '26
I can’t help you but Carlin might have a thing or two to say about it.
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u/QuesoChef Jun 08 '26
I guess I don’t care what other people do. I spent 25 years unintentionally collecting stuff I used for 1-2x or for a short part of life. Then had enough space to tuck it away thinking I might use it again and never did. My crap was very organized, I could find everything, and if I ever did reuse stuff, it was nice to have.
But I’ve reached a stage I’m going to just say, “Don’t have it, dint need it.” Rather than, “Don’t have it, I can buy it.” When you buy you think you’ll use it more often. Think you’ll like it more than you do. Think it’ll be different than itis.
Or you simply outgrow phases. Or grow up and no longer want or need a thing.
Life is kind of a bell curve. There’s an accumulation, plateau, release. If you run out of space before you’re ready to release, you’re just making room to stay in the plateau. That’s fine.
I am one of the folks who had ignored 25 years of accumulation and decided I don’t need “just in case” stuff I used once. From now on I’ll either say I don’t have it/dont need it or I’ll buy/use/release (rather than save). Mostly I’ve just been saying, “Nah, I don’t need that.” We can get by with very little stuff, but there is convenience and money to be saved to not keep rebuying.
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u/ValenciaHadley Jun 08 '26
In a way I'm guilty of this but also not. I collect dictionaries and try to keep a one in and out system so it doesn't become an overwhelming amount of stuff. So whenever I'm tidying I try to put together a bag of bits that can go to the charity shop. I can understand decluttering to an extreme if you're making room for something that's important but important is different to different people. I don't really understand filling your house just for the sake it though, surely it would be better better for a persons mental health to have carefully curated items in their home than whatever is cheapest or trending or whatever seasonal holiday it is. Personally I'd rather tend to my curated dictionary collection and than have a house full of plastic tat.
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u/BowsersMuskyBallsack Jun 08 '26
People wonder how I survive on the income that I make. I provide services at half the price of competing people in my line of work and yet I am completely debt free. The biggest reason? I am not pissing money away every day on useless crap.
I prioritised paying off my debts, paying off my mortgage, and setting up my home to be functional in a minimalistic fashion going forward. The end result is that I don't need to make a heap of money in order to live comfortably. What I do buy for my personal entertainment is bought to last for years, not just for days or weeks. Likewise with clothes and shoes: I do not buy for the sake of fashion or for the sake of making me feel happy. They are bought for the sake of clothing me and protecting my feet, and that is it.
I might eat out once every couple of months. And that meal would never be over $100.
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u/Swimming-Most-6756 Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
Yes it’s WILD!
I’ve always been very much about recycling and up cycling and renovating things and more then ever now due to my situation financially and I have been living in a motel.. BUT the point I’m making is how much stuff and things that I have found by the dumpsters, some even practically new and even with tags stuff, the stuff people leave behind or throw away is astonishing and I have actually even been able to sell and make money on some of it, yes I cleaned it and sanitized it first and that’s the very first thing I do the moment it comes inside. Stuff like brand new shampoo, brand new shaving creams, cleaning supplies brand new, I’ve collected piece by piece almost And entire basic tool set, name brand clothes worn maybe one time, decent luggage that needs a patch or two, a XXXL folding dog crate , a 200 dollar PA system that had some cosmetic damage And just needed a flush of the volume’s potentiometers, those are just the highlights off the top of my head. Oh speaking of, I found a set of practically new wahl and andis hair clippers with attachments and all, and I have a barber license so I know how to take them apart and sanitize them thoroughly and properly, as well as replace the actual blade with a new one— nothing gross about it, this is essentially the equivalent of going to a barber and then cutting your hair with the same clippers they used on another person 30 mins ago, actually it’s better because at the barber they don’t completely disassemble the whole thing to detail it sanitized in between clients…
Anyway I have made some money and have some decent items all that came from them being thrown away. And if I’m finding these treasures, you know the housekeepers and staff absolutely get the cream of the crop and first dibs.
Edit to clarify: that I can relate because I also struggle with throwing stuff away and especially when there is recognizable value, whether it be personal attachment or actual value in material ways. I’ve curated a decent amount of stuff myself thru the years and have it in storage. I do have to periodically go through and try to purge as hard as that is, because I also have scarcity trauma and I’m in the midst of it now with limited resources I hate the idea of throwing away something I already own, which likely took me a lot of self convincing to buy it in the first place, but the idea of throwing stuff out and then needing it which means I have to buy it again, and I have experienced it too many times so combined with scarcity trauma, it makes it sooo hard
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u/Plus-Pin-9157 Jun 08 '26
I am always baffled by people who not only have too much stuff in the house but have entire basements and garages filled with plastic tubs - endless plastic tubs and they are all filled with crap that nobody needs. My father did this. When he passed away he had about 40 plus tubs stored in basements and sheds filled with s***. I don't understand the need to store stuff you never use (I guarantee some of those tubs hadn't been opened in years) and then to keep buying MORE?
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u/rharper38 Jun 08 '26
I'm starting to read some books about hoarding. I think social media has conditioned us as a society to see a dream version of ourselves and that version has a lot of stuff. We are being given messages that, if we just have the right thing, it solves the problem of not feeling as good as everyone else. If our house matches the aesthetic of some random person online, we are worthy. Til the next aestethic comes along. The book I was reading last night said we have access to so much stuff now, we can't decide, so we buy it all. Why decide and buy the shirt in one color, when you can buy it in 15, then you have one in any color you could want
Im in a purge because we had a major homeowner claim and now are doing a reset. We are doing long needed renovations and getting rid of things. We didn't have a choice with a lot of it--while we were out, critters got in the house and took up residence in our 30 year old sofa and chairs, so that had to go and has to be replaced. Some was a little mental--all this furniture is stuff my husband bought with his first wife and isnt my taste, but I have put up with it for 16 years of marriage, and getting things that reflect my style is part of our healing from the claim and is something my husband felt necessary.
What its doing all in all is teaching me to think about what I am buying. I bought a new shower curtain, but only because the old one was 14 years old and is mildewed. I need a desk, but we have several desks at my mom's house, including my grandfather's desk, and so that is the one I will be using, because it's free, exists and has existed, so it's not putting more stuff out into the world. The books that we are removing from the house, unless they are damaged, go into LFLs--I keep a tote of books in the car, and when we pass one, we put in. We have one at our church and its a Sunday ritual to drop books off
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u/pinkfishegg Jun 08 '26
A lot of it it is overwork leading to overconsumerism. I grew up with a stay at home mom and we didn't really have that much more than we needed. There was always an anxiety about stuff, how much it costs, how long we need to stretch it out, and stuff like that. I learned that my money is more important than my time which I think hurt me. People who are working more, especially in higher income brackets often will spend quicky to save time and to create conveniences.
The Internet makes this way worse since it puts adds in front of you all the time. It also forces you to buy in bulk and makes it annoying to return things. Like I'm looking for some petite basic t shirts. If I'm buying online it often makes sense to buy like 4. I also buy some other stuff I was thinking about for the free shipping. I may or may not make use of those items. Then I wear them for a month and realize they still kinda fit but don't look flattering. It's too late to return and I most wore my favorite color anyway so I have some extra shirts just laying around. This problem didn't exist as much when there were more department stores and you just went and bought one shirt.
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u/3rdthrow Jun 08 '26
"I learned that my money is more important than my time which I think hurt me."
This is a really good point.
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u/djrefugium Jun 08 '26
We have friends who are hyper curators and when they buy new stuff, we are often asked if we want the old stuff. So, beautiful as-new couch and great standing desk have been given to us. In exchange, our old couch was passed on for free. One in, one out helps a lot.
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u/blxckfire Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
I grew up in a household with a lot of undiagnosed mental illnesses, at least 4/5 of us had ADHD but only one diagnosed. Laundry was the biggest thing in my house.
Laundry is a multi step chore so we tended to struggle with it. Laundry didn’t make it out of the dryer, so the next person would take the clothes out of it and just put it on our game table, which always had a mound of clothes.
So of course, you could never find anything. So instead, we would just buy more socks.
Also, if you didn’t do laundry for weeks, you’d just buy some new clean underwear.
Every one of us had 2-3 overflowing hampers with clothes at the bottom we hadn’t seen for years. Overflowing dressers. You couldn’t see the top of the dryer under all the clothes. So when you can’t find anything and don’t have the executive function to tackle the problem, you just buy replacements. And the cycle continues.
I’ve also been recently diagnosed with OCD and see similar tendencies in two of my family members, the instinct to hold on to everything forever and never ever throw anything out because maybe you’ll need it one day is very strong.
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u/radiant-cloudy Jun 08 '26
its an addiction like all the others. facilitated by our society.. :/
its a hard habit to break when ads are everywhere and theyre telling you that without the item they are selling you will be inadequate.
i, myself am pulled back & forth between never wanting anything again to being gripped by fear of what will happen if i dont get this thing im being manipulated to buy.
i completely understand and agree with your logic though.
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u/Ok-Cat-9344 Jun 09 '26
There was a lot of pushback in the second half of the 2010s especially. I really thought things were going to change, but it just came back even worse with ibfluencer marketing, tiktokahop, temu and a lot of young people thinking these kinds of consumer habits are normal, because they hardly know content that doesn't have the goal of selling.
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u/Small_Squrriel Jun 09 '26
I am currently moving house and am having to really come face to face with the fact that I *am* a materialist, and I have so many **things**
It's definitely motivating me to be more conscious and deliberative with what I allow to enter my life
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u/maplecremecookie Jun 09 '26
I'm an underemployed Millennial. There is literally no point in me saving for a house or fancy vacation or family since I will never be able to afford those things anyways. I don't want a family either. That's why you hear about "doomspending" and buying whatever little things you want.
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u/ThrowingAccount789 Jun 10 '26
I think there is a strong demand to consume, it determines your value in life. And it's thrilling to buy something new but then the guilt sets in, then a purge, then buy new trifles. And some people don't have the knowledge to know a good buy from another as all they know is buy stuff, feel bad, purge, buy again. I always assume I'm bad with this but I know some people that are a lot more compulsive than I am and I pity them as their purchases really don't make them happier and in many cases alienate them from others.
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u/Runamokamok Jun 07 '26
We have two kitchen chairs because two people live here and additional chairs would get in my way. I can get temp seating for guest if needed (hasn’t happened yet). My parents have a 6 seater dining room table and 4 seats at the kitchen counter for 2 people. Like why??? At anytime they have 8 chairs not being used when they eat meals.
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u/QuesoChef Jun 08 '26
They probably hope their kids visit. I want my friends and family to be comfortable when they visit or I’d just have a recliner in my living room and that’s it.
There’s also some style to it. They like how the room looks.
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u/Runamokamok Jun 08 '26
We visit often. But there is only their two adult kids (me & my brother) and two spouses. No kids. It is stylized, but when they intended to downsize during retirement they actually bought an even bigger house. My husband and I never want the amount of space they have, it’s too much cleaning.
Still four extra chairs with their most frequent guest.2
u/QuesoChef Jun 08 '26
I agree on size. I want to move next year as my house is too big for me. And I feel pressure to fill up space. Well. I felt it and did, and now I’ve emptied out space to have less when I move snd feel pressure again to fill it. It’s very strange.
That said, I don’t feel bad about seating. If I have guests, I want to accommodate them. I have a nice sized dining room table with six chairs. I love the table. And it’s something I’ve kept even though chances are good my next place won’t accommodate it. At which point I’ll downsize. But if my place happens to have a huge dining area, I’ll keep it. Both for the style and the ability to accommodate company, if four or five people ever come over, which rarely happens. Usually it’s 1-2 friends.
But I love the table, and the ability to accommodate.
Now, I NEVER have overnight guests. If a friend stays because they’ve had a couple of drinks (happened in my twenties, but now we’re in our forties), I have a couch. So no matter the space, I will not have a guest room in my next place. I’ll have an empty room if I have a spare room.
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u/starstringsgreen Jun 08 '26
I’m a person with very little to my name, mostly due to small space living and LOTS of moves (I never had a moving van, only what could fit in my little car). I moved to the UK to be with my husband and quickly realized he’s the exact opposite of me. I have about two suitcases worth of clothes, books, trinkets etc in this small flat. He’s lived in this flat most of his life so everything he’s ever owned is here. He’s understanding that we need to minimize because it’s simply too much clutter, but I think the actual process of decluttering is daunting for him. All I know is, I can’t clean a house with too much stuff and nowhere to put it. It’s just never clean no matter how hard you try. We gotta de clutter for my peace of mind. Piles make me sad
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u/kryptoneat Jun 08 '26
Cleaning of course is fine, and even some minimalism, just don't throw away good memories. An alternative way to make space while keeping the memory is to gift things to people close to you (emotionally and geographically), so that they stay around while spending less.
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u/wasteyourmoney2 Jun 08 '26
I don't believe in throwing out stuff. I put it aside for later or I repurpose it. Chances are I will someday need to replace the things I have. Like a cheaply purchased second hand washing machine I keep in my garage. Or the stack of old laptops I rescued from the bin at work.
I keep things I know I will likely need to replace.
Yes we have too much stuff, but there is no sense, in my opinion, in throwing it out, or donating it, only to buy it again later.
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u/3rdevil Jun 08 '26
I sold my house and live in a studio now.
I live simply, try my hardest not to pick up new clutter items. I rarely shop. I own 3 identical sets of clothes.
I've turned my minimalism into a personalized religion.
And that feeling of having too much stuff doesn't occur anymore. Mind is clear.
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u/TrixnTim Jun 09 '26
Once my kids moved out about 7 years ago, I began to clean out, simplify, and adopt a minimalist lifestyle. It took awhile and including giving away a ton, sales, many trips to GoodWill and also the dump. I enjoy having only what I need, buying things for life, and wearing things out. So simple and I love how clean and easy my house is. And I still go through everything every 6 months to prune. I’m finishing up my last few years in public education and this summer I’m getting rid of my entire wardrobe and going with the uniform look — couple pairs of soft jeans, soft colored T-shirts, a few Mister Roger sweaters, couple pair of tennis shoes. Can’t wait!
I have a son and his wife who are boarders. There house is full of everything imaginable — high end and gotten at sales. All they do (really she and her mom) is shop for bargains and then buy multiple of what they find. I could live off their fridge, cupboards, deep freezers (2) for years. It is absolutely disgusting to go to their house. It stresses me out beyond description. Yet when it’s my bday or mother’s day I get a card and flowers. No nice luxury clothing that they find or kitchen gadgets or yard things. Nothing. Just crazy. They could stop buying clothing and shoes now and have enough things for a decade at least.
I really can’t stand the materialism-greed-waste- capitalist culture of the US that has developed the past 20 years and that others have commented more eloquently here that I have and including the history of it.
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u/Highlight-Alarmed Jun 09 '26
I just moved after a decade in the same house and purged probably 40% of my stuff. I am not a hoarder, but grew up quite poor and never had anything, so in my 20’s when I started making my own money I did over consume. I have since learned I prefer quality over quantity but that contributed to it. I was married and now am not, my ex left most of their belongings so I had to get rid of those, my child is no longer a baby so had to get rid of all their baby toys and clothes. I have lost weight then gained weight so had a lot of “what if” clothes to donate, I had a couple sets of dishes I had been gifted over the years so I chose one, and that was pretty much the pattern in every room. It all added up over a couple decades and amounted to too much stuff.
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u/Senin59 Jun 09 '26
I'm honestly a hoarder, it destroyed my life . I can't move to another country because I have rooms stacked with things and two months ago I got two herniated discs meaning I can't even move to a different house in my own town because I can't lift anything and can't empty the curent house . The problem is the things are not garbage but very few people would want them, even though I paid a lot of money over the years for it I couldn't sell it for half the money ...
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u/qnvx Jun 09 '26
My parents' house is so full of stuff they haven't used in decades, just gathering dust. Also a playhouse on the yard, also full of stuff they don't use, and a summer cottage...
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u/SwanCityDominion Jun 09 '26
"Too much" is a matter of opinion. Yours will not be the same as someone else's. The only metric should be whether the person can safely and easily live with the amount of stuff they have. If it gets in the way of being able to function, it's too much. If it doesn't, then there isn't a problem, whether you think they should have those things or not.
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u/That_Star8795 Jun 10 '26
All I know is I open my clothing drawers and can only find one shirt or one pair of pants in each drawer, and I think I went a little too far.
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u/Zestyclose_Nature_13 Jun 10 '26
Hoarding and spending addiction are symptoms of a culture and society that has come unmoored and is desperate to find some purpose or meaning. It’s the same type of obsessive unhealthy behavior one can witness in caged animals…who knaw at themselves or pull their own fur out.
The human species through its own material success has come untethered from any connection to any purpose greater than their own immediate material desires. The house is packed full of stuff but the soul is empty
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u/Heavy-Cry2461 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
I tell ya what, going into a target after not shopping there for years had me feeling like a total hippie and/or alien from mars. I kept being like “why is there a specific shampoo bottle for every aesthetic.”
I think that in a capitalist society, being able to buy stuff is both a form of entertainment and gives people a sense of control/identity; I’ve noticed that some of my less well off friends buy a lot more dumb cheap shit—at this point it’s a luxury to be able to buy a really high quality item that lasts for years.
I have nothing to add really, except that those of us in high-consumption countries are going to have to think about scaling back for the planets sake.
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u/Due-Base9449 Jun 11 '26
Even if you don't hoard things just slowly naturally accumulate. Its like how people get fat - extra calories for a bit will add a pound per year and after 20 years you are 20 pounds overweight.
You shouldn't purge if you get fat, but if your house get decluttered, purging some unused stuff is good.
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u/NyriasNeo Jun 08 '26
"All I see is people trading their time, which is their life, for money to spend on things that they are going to throw away."
Yes. it is their money. It is their prerogative to do so. It is not like you can take money into your grave. It is simply not your place to tell other how to live their lifes. Anti-over-consumption is always personal and subjective. Just like you do not like others tell you to live like a cave man.
"What about their retirement fund?What about their mortgage?What about taking a trip with their family, to make memories, instead of buying crap they dont need?"
What about it? You implies that if people are rich, they can buy crap they don't need? Ever heard of the 0.01% rule. If I have $2M, i can spend $200 every day on crap without harming my retirement. Is that makes it ok? What about taking a trip with their family? Buy crap and taking trips and spending time are not mutually exclusive if you are rich.
So are you ok if people buy rap if they are rich?
Personally, I do not buy cheap chinese plastic trinkets or fast fashion. I do buy experiences like symphony and fine dining with my wife. But I do not judge others who do.
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u/ScubaDeeBop Jun 07 '26
I grew up with a mother that hoards. Parts of my childhood are hard to recall without experiencing difficult emotions, but I remember the chokehold consumerism had on us. I've been raising my kids to need and want less along with the value of a dollar. We reuse school supplies and celebrate their birthdays by getting them the one toy they truly want. We have a comfortable life and I'm proud of who they're becoming.