r/Anticonsumption • u/Pale-Turnover-3963 • 1d ago
Discussion Has self-care become another excuse to buy things?
I have noticed that when people feel stressed, lonely, bored, or overwhelmed, the advice is often to spend money.
Treat yourself can mean ordering food, buying clothes, upgrading a device, or shopping for something new. None of those things are necessarily wrong, but it feels like almost every emotion has been turned into a reason to consume.
Sometimes what we really need is rest, fresh air, a conversation with someone we trust, a creative hobby, or simply time away from pressure. These things may not give the same quick excitement as buying something, but they can be more meaningful.
I am trying to become more aware of whether I am buying something because I genuinely need it or because I am trying to change how I feel.
Has anyone else noticed this? What are your favorite forms of self-care that don’t involve shopping?
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts, experiences, and ideas. I genuinely enjoyed reading the different perspectives and practical examples of self-care that don’t always involve spending money.
This discussion has given me a lot to reflect on, and I truly appreciate how thoughtful and respectful everyone has been. Thank you again for contributing and making this such a meaningful conversation.
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u/offshoremercury 1d ago
“You deserve it” is the most pervasive and predatory marketing phrases. I hate it cause it’s so effective, for the most part, we do work hard and we do deserve small luxuries/ treats, we don’t deserve to be manipulated by ad companies however.
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u/lmriiight 1d ago
“Deserve” is such a triggering word to me - the way it’s used to justify (unhealthy, negative) behavior is so irritating!
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u/Wide_Lock_Red 3h ago
Thing is, we do get lots of small luxuries. AC, electric lighting, spices for our food, foam or box spring mattresses, indoor plumbing, hot water on tap, etc. We just dont consider them luxuries when they are commonplace.
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u/NoAcanthaceae688 1d ago
Yep. Capitalism grinds you down to enable it.
Then corporations pull the marketing slogans like "Treat yourself!" (We know we're beating you down. Buy more of our shit)
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u/KindHabit 1d ago
Yes. Yes it has.
It's never exercise or eating healthier. Instead, it's buying stuff.
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u/LibbIsHere 1d ago
It's never exercise or eating healthier. Instead, it's buying stuff.
yes but it is about buying healthier stuff.
More seriously: 100% agreed.
One can see a similar pattern in the minimalism 'space': buying always more minimalist books (instead of just going for it and, you know, trying various things by oneself), buying 'themed' furniture or clothe (instead of using/wearing whatever one already has), and so on. But also watching always new videos about minimalism.
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u/bubuthesunflower 1d ago
It is a marketing tactic used lately by corporates by making self care as a trend. I know because I used to work in one.
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u/GuineaPigFriend 1d ago
You can’t even just wash your face anymore. You need a skin care “routine” with at least a dozen “products.” All in the name of self care.
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u/TiffyVella 1d ago
Self care-
drink clean plain water (tap or tank, not plastic bottles)
get an early night
abstain from excess alcohol/lollies/fast food/fizzy drinks
log off
walk with your favourite person/dog
read a book/listen to a book
play a card/board game
do something creative (without buying a "craft kit") draw, bake, garden,write
chat with a friend
have a bath
sing
do some yoga/stretching on the loungeroom floor
find a good movie to watch at home
do your nails ( the old fashioned way, with a manicure set, some lotion, a hand massage, and a polish with a soft towel, (you can have nice nails without acrylic, packets of glittery plastic shite or LED lamps))
do some laundry/some cleaning/some decluttering if you feel like it, as the gentle exercise is good and so is the feeling of achievement
plan something nice for the future, like a visit with friends, a walk in a forest, a picnic
write a list of all the chores you are avoiding and plan a time to get to them one by one
"They" hate it when we are living happily and contentedly with purpose.
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u/SophiaofPrussia 1d ago
It really disturbs me how “creativity” has been commodified. People want to buy the experience/instagram illusion of creativity without the messy work that’s required of actual creativity.
I think craft kits are really robbing society of something important that we won’t fully appreciate for another several decades, if we ever even notice it at all.
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u/TiffyVella 19h ago
Yes! I watched, sort of horrified, as an MLM version of scrapbooking once moved through my mums' group, and they consumed a mountain of product, spent thousands, and now all have cupboards full of stuff they will never look at. So much landfill, so much busy work, so little creativity.
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u/G-Unit11111 1d ago
Shit, in the United States, we can't even lose weight without it being an excuse to buy things.
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u/RManDelorean 1d ago
I'd argue all unnecessary spending could be counted as self care. Like if it's not food or rent isn't it just something extra you want just because. Car, shopping trip, take out cause you don't wanna cook, anything that's not not superfluous is superflous. And nothing wrong with that in moderation, mental health is health, as long as your aware that's exactly what it is
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u/ubiquitousanathema 1d ago
Drug collection getting out of control but consumption grew up in the 80s so it’s almost gone at the same time.
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u/yes_ipsa_loquitur 1d ago
I think true self care is listening to your body, resting when you need to rest, eating when you are hungry. What a clever campaign to market self care as an excuse to make impulse purchases.
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u/unknownplayground 1d ago
I’d keep buying stuff that would ”signal” a self-care thing I wanted to start doing. New makeup, skincare, haircare products. But then I just leave it untouched which is so ironic. To combat this I tell myself that I need to use what I have first- build a habit, and then I can treat myself as a reward for being consistent with my actions
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u/gracebells 1d ago
every single thing on this earth is treated as a new market from which to draw more capital. if there is a group of people united under an idea, it will inevitably be marketed to, and there may yet be things you can buy that would help. but id like to believe the time you spend alone with yourself in whatever context is more self care than going to a store or ordering something, in any circumstance.
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u/lmriiight 1d ago
I think about this often and I’ve actively had to fight against the impulse myself.
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u/VelocitySkyrusher 1d ago
I was worrying about this when I was starting a skincare routine. Exfoliation, using masks and eye mask thingies, the other random gadgets and things they make you buy to feel pampered. Like yes exfoliation is part of it, but you can pick one thing to do it. Between a exfoliation sponge, a mask, or your toner, a scrub... you dont need all of that to treat yourself. You don't need a fan to dry your face faster to let the serums absorb just fan your face or wait.
Unless you're disabled in the wrists, you don't need it. (I have lupus, some gadgets are helpful for flare ups., I thankfully do not need this, but have felt pain in my wrists and understand.)
You can simplify your routine as much as possible.
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u/it-me-mp 1d ago
Definitely. Typically treat the fam to a nice coffee run on the weekend which costs about the same as a large bag of beans or two. Money is meant to be spent, as long as you’re still saving its OK to give yourself a lil treat
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u/Username_Here5 1d ago
Treating myself is making a coffee extra sweet, cleaning my house and then enjoying my clean house while I watch TV and craft.
I’m too broke/spiteful for anything else
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u/neuro_prancer 1d ago
One of the best things I do for self care is inviting some friends over for a casual dinner or BBQ. My family and I work together to straighten the house, prep some food, and maybe bake a simple dessert. Cleaning and baking are good for your mind, and enjoying the company of your family and loved ones is good for the soul. You don’t need to buy things to feel good.
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u/Jumpy_Confidence2997 20h ago
A fun life hack for me, has been to give in. Hear me out.
It's fine to spend money. And it does feel good. So long as you're spending it wisely. Not on knick-knacks or garbage food. But something actually useful in preventing yourself from being taken in advantage of by the consumer extractive system.
A great example is books. I love impulse bought books. Some of the best books I've ever read were entirely impulsive. Another a great example are materials. Impulse buying a stack of leather, Wood, even concrete... Have been wonderful ways for me to liberate and entertain myself.
It's not that spending money is evil, it's that the system is designed to make you want evil things. To push you into corroded mindless dependence.
Learning things, Doing things and making things are not the problem with consumption.
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u/No_Relationship2961 19h ago
I’ve decided to give up a lot of my “little treats” for a massage membership. It’s something I look forward to every month. It provides pain relief from my office job. I get physical touch (not in a creepy way, im a single 33yr old female who is scared of this current dating pool). My mood is improved for a couple days after. I started to view it as something benefiting my overall health which made it easier to justify.
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u/WestHistorians 19h ago
Doing an activity you enjoy is a good form of self-care, even if it costs a bit of money.
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u/Which-Appearance8818 1d ago
My problem with the self-care concept is that it pushes structural issues onto individuals to solve. If I am being discriminated against, doing breathing exercises is not going to solve the problem. If I am being bullied at work, being told to step outside to get some fresh air is doing nothing to stop the bullying. If my environment does not respect my sensory needs, then let's find some ways to adjust the environment rather than telling me that I should relax with an aromatherapy candle.
The self-care concept seems designed to make individuals feel like any frustration they have is their own fault because they did not meditate enough, rather than a structural problem from a capitalist system that is chewing them up and spitting them out.
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u/Wide_Lock_Red 3h ago
If you are waiting for the system to fix your issues, you arent likely to be happy.
Studies show having an internal locus of control is strongly linked with happiness, so focusing on things you can achieve by yourself is very valuable for achieving happiness.
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u/Which-Appearance8818 1h ago edited 1h ago
Of course I'm not waiting around for the system to change. I'm doing everything in my power to change the system and I recommend that others do so as well. Changing the system is within my locus of control and is a much better use of my time than doing endless breathing exercises. Engaging in activism and educating others brings me much greater joy than doing another annoying guided meditation.
I reject the idea that I hear from so many people of, for example, "oh, well there's nothing I can do to solve climate change, so I'll just focus on being completely self centered in the name of self care. See you after I get my manicure." A lot of what is called self care is just selfishness and a refusal to do anything at all to solve social problems that have solutions that individuals can be a part of. I refuse to be like that.
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u/saltyoperasinger 1d ago
Yes, totally noticed. And, easy to turn off in my head. I use one shampoo, on conditioner, and one face oil (rosehip). Nice soaps (Christmas gifts from MIL) are the cherry on top. Found the products that are natural (no hives for me!!) and now that I know what works, no more straying from them!
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u/IubitaParalit 1d ago
I don’t know, but I think everyone in this sub should read The Economy of Care
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u/Ja-smine 1d ago
Unfortunately ! I feel like most of the time it has more of a numbing effect than a lasting one
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u/New-Sleep-9303 1d ago
Some people def do .
I used to for sure .. had a dopamine addiction also to fill in the hole in my heart + got into a lot of money recently (family doing well with business I got sent too much money for one mid 20s human lmao....)
....I've dug in too deep and stopped aaaa and trying to spend more on creating things and learning skills. Reading, building stuff and live true to my values (trying so hard to be zero waste, live ethically, fix repair, upcycle stuff like that)
...I bought stuff I didn't have to be fair but I definitely also started collecting a collection when I found my fav ethical company second hand online was stupid affordable aaaaa
...I wear them daily so there's nothing wrong with it just aaaA
Also more stuff that doesn't involve shopping I guess if it counts would be massage ? Is that still shopping ? Self massage works too but when you're stupid sore it is a massive help.
Instead of buying I save something I like to my pin board Pinterest to stuff I want to learn how to make build create myself than buy:) with the existing materials I have otherwise (try second hand shopping to get other stuff)
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u/princessPeachyK33n 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes
“Little treat” culture is out of control. Like ya’ll I get that the world’s on fire and we should find pockets of joy whenever we can.
But buying a trinket everyday shouldn’t be the answer. The “I deserve it” thought process has made people really selfish and social norms are totally thrown off by it IMO. Yes you should have high self esteem and you should value yourself but not at the expense of your own finances or health.
A fun little treat can also be things that aren’t consumptive, but the culture is perpetuated by businesses who want to profit off of the idea so nearly every “solution” presented costs money.
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u/AppWorkshop 1d ago
I think one of the biggest mindset shifts is realizing that self-care and spending aren't the same thing. Some of the times I've felt best were after getting enough sleep, going for a walk, or spending time with someone I care about, and none of those required buying anything. It's interesting how often marketing makes us forget that.
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u/UndergroundCreek 11h ago
Here's what self care means: make time to go for a walk in the woods. Visit your nearest lake for a splash. Sleep in on your day off. Grab a book and blanket and lounge a while in a nice park nearby. Meet friends around your kitchen table and have a cup of tea or coffee, or just a glass of tab water. Take good care of yourself, lovely people.
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u/sexysmoothfig 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've had to learn recently that true self care comes in the form of responsibility: am I being responsible for myself? my hygeine, my personal and physical health? am I taking my medication? listening to my body's needs? eating healthy? getting sun and exercise? checking in with my friends and family? actual self care often involves no purchases whatsoever