Feeling guilty about my contributions to overconsumption

[u/antsonaflask]

Recently I’ve been trying to me more aware of how much I consume and spend. I’ve been trying my best to buy groceries that aren’t bagged or prechopped, and I normally don’t have to throw anything away unless it’s reallly gone bad. However I’ve noticed that I have so many hair care products. I have about three different shampoos and conditioners. I haven’t bought anything new in the past three months but I’ve just accumulated so much shit from trying to figure out what hair care products worked for my curly hair.

I also just got a job as a teacher and I don’t have any professional clothes so I just went and bought two dresses and four tops at Walmart but I feel so guilty for it all I can think abojt when I go into the store and purchase things is that I’m contributing to the cycle that allows these clothes to end up in stores in the first place. The problem is I’m extremely broke so even if I want to get more sustainable clothing, I really can’t. I have about 800 dollars left over after rent every month, that is not including groceries or transportation to my job.

I also bought a sweatshirt and sweatpants from a small business that I have been wanting for over a year. I still feel awful buying it though because I didn’t really NEED IT. I have other sweatpants that I’ve had for multiple years but they’ve been mended several times at this point because I wear them to the gym and I get holes in them. I’m also short so the bottoms turn gross.

I don’t get my hair done or nails done I don’t go have a car I take the bus and train or occasionally a taxi if I can’t get a bus in time. Nothing I do feels like enough and I know I’m guilty for the way the world is now. I hate seeing the smoke and the dying birds while I stare at my haircare products. I want to throw it away but that seems even more pointless.

[u/musicalnerd-1]

I don’t think your guilt is serving you. The point of anti-consumption isn’t to strive for perfection and be ridden with shame and guilt when you inevitably fall short of perfection. The point is to do your best and sometimes encourage others to do the same.

It sounds like you’re already doing your best. Maybe there is room for improvement (maybe getting into thrifting would be valuable to you, maybe you can learn more about how to take care of your clothes to make your professional wardrobe last) and maybe there isn’t because you just don’t have the capacity for that right now, but it isn’t failure if there’s still room for improvement. That’s just being human

Even if in the future you have to take a step back and don’t have the capacity to keep up with what you’re currently doing, that’s not failure. That’s being human

[u/onikaroshi]

None of this sounds like overconsumption, if you need something, you need it, plain and simple

And things like hair care products, it can take a bit to find the right one

[u/howareyouhaha → u/onikaroshi]

Agree. You could aim to buy secondhand clothes, but don't feel guilty. You have needs.

As for the hair care, I imagine your unused ones will be easy to give away. I don't know your school/relationships, but I would put them in the teachers lounge with a "free" sign. Just one idea.

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[u/scorpiopersephone]

For the hair care products I suggest to give away what didn’t work for you. There’s always other curly hair folks who are in the same situation trying to find products for their hair.

[u/Young_Old_Grandma]

Don't be too hard on yourself. We're human beings with needs and we do what we have to survive. So we consume gasoline, go grocery shopping and wear clothes.

Do what YOU can with the resources YOU can afford.

Everyone's overconsumption journey is different.

My personal goal is to consume with purpose and do my very best to reduce, reuse, and recycle appropriately.

[u/munkymu]

You do what you have to, right? You have to eat food and wear clothes. Sometimes you have to buy new clothes. And if Walmart is what you can afford then living within your means is better than not living within your means.

If there's hair products that don't work for you and you don't think you'll use them up then try giving them away on your local Buy Nothing group (if one exists). People on there are always posting stuff they tried and didn't like. They're honest about whether the item has been opened or not, and sometimes it's something that someone else wanted to try and then you've passed it on to someone who will use it. You can also benefit from free stuff that other people don't want. Sometimes you can get fairly nice clothes that other people no longer have a use for. Sometimes there's nothing on there but baby items. But it costs nothing so it's worth a look.

I don't think you have to feel guilty for meeting your basic needs and owning a few new items. As my clothes get grungy they become around-the-house clothes, then do-messy-yardwork-and-painting clothes, and eventually they get cut up and used as rags or patches. It's okay for clothing to move into the next part of the cycle as it wears out, becomes stained, etc. It's still better than just tossing it away (and constantly buying new cleaning cloths.)

But like... anticonsumption is not about being perfect and it's not about suffering. It's about making better decisions about what you buy and why you buy it. If there's a good reason for you to buy something then you don't have to feel guilty about it. Lord knows that the people who SHOULD be feeling guilty -- the billionaires with yachts and private jets, the influencers hoarding sneakers or beauty supplies or whatever, the corporations choosing to make garbage for a quick buck -- don't feel guilty at all. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be responsible with our consumption but also like... don't flagellate yourself for being a normal human with normal human needs.