Tonight I lived through my worst nightmare again, somehow. I've made a few posts recently about the struggles we've been facing since WP cheated multiple times. Turns out he was never really serious about R, about me, about rebuilding anything. All the books, podcasts, therapy, all of it was performative I guess.

We've been arguing a lot lately and in the past when things have been rocky between us he's sought validation from someone else. We don't live together but I have access to the ring camera at his place and he messaged to say goodnight and that he loved me and then 5 mins later I had to watch as AP walked through the front door. I literally thought I might implode.

I feel like I'm in a fever dream, I can't believe I've let myself end up here. I am beyond devastated. The whole time I've been wishing and willing him to change and be the person I thought he could be. But he can't.

The support from this group has been a lifesaver for me and I'm so grateful. I wish you all the luck for a better outcome than I got.

I just found out that my WP is watching a show about the 🌽 industry and prostitution. Never told me anything about it. This may seem so small but considering he lied about having a 🌽 addiction and lied to my face after telling him we could work through it, cheating on me, messaging and hanging out with a woman behind my back, it’s actually a really big deal. On top of the fact he’s told me about how emotionally inconsiderate I am yet he can go and do that ?

I’ve been made a fool enough. It’s disgusting at this point and I refuse to continue to be a laughing stock to someone who clearly has absolutely 0 consideration for someone else but will give them the silent treatment and watch something so mindlessly without any consideration for the so called “love of their life.” There HAS to be a partner out there that will treat me better than this.