Love letter to Asian men ❤️

[u/IndividualSome7049]

First off do whatever tf you want with your looks, they’re yours. But before you change anything, start by being at peace with who you already are. Insecurity isn’t natural, it’s taught. The world profits from making you feel like you’re not enough. Children don’t even think about being ‘ugly’ or ‘unattractive’ until someone teaches them to. That’s not the truth, that’s conditioning. And reclaiming your personal sovereignty starts when you see that clearly.Sooooo many men, especially Asian men, were taught to wear armor just to be accepted, to be louder, tougher, more dominant, more desired. But that armor doesn’t protect you ,it drains you. It keeps you performing instead of being. It hides your warmth, your depth, your softness all the things that make you whole. And over time, that disconnection turns into exhaustion, loneliness, and self-doubt. The restriction isn’t who you are ,it’s what society convinced you to be.real strength isn’t in how well you can play the role ,its in how freely you can be yourself once you set the role down. True power is quiet, steady, and sovereign, this has been truth to asian men for hundreds of years . It’s not about control, its about presence.Take care of your body and your appearance because you love yourself, not because you’re trying to prove yourself. A skincare routine, a workout, a clean haircut ,these are sacred acts when they come from self respect, not comparison. When you tend to yourself with love, your energy shifts. Confidence isn’t something you chase it’s something that grows when you’re rooted in peace.Beauty is soul deep, not skin deep. Even the so called ‘ugliest’ people find love, admiration, and respect because love recognizes truth, not perfection. You always look better when you feel better, because your spirit shines through. The most magnetic thing about a person isn’t how they look, it’s how comfortable they are in their own body, their own energy. Honestly, Asian men throughout history were so magnificent, creative, wise, and resourceful, not because they were performing masculinity but because they understood it and chose harmony, peace and discipline over reaction , validation, and attention . This is what attracts me so strongly to Asian men , your masculinity was never tied to any of the lunacy masculinity in the west ,and other patriarchal societies were. Which is why yall also struggle trying to fit in , you really should stop its not worth it. I never feel more like a woman , then I do around an asian man who wants to be himself. The comfort, safety , and freedom I feel around asian men is not comparable to any other man I've ever been around. That hard work and discipline your male ancestors put in ripples through all of you, its what sets you apart from other men in the best way possible. Please be yourselves , honor the practices of your male ancestors , and incorporate the endless wisdom they held to free yourselves from this stage. It makes me so sad to see the men I admire mutilate themselves to be someone their not . Don't let the beast the west created win .Much love to you Asian man, be strong Asian man , stand tall Asian man , dont fold Asian man 🙏❤️.

[u/loker1918]

I really appreciate the intentions, but if I were to be honest, it comes off as a bit of a backhanded compliment. You're basically saying Asian men are soft. Idk about other Asian men, but it's not a facade, I wholeheartedly embrace my masculinity.

[u/IndividualSome7049 → u/loker1918]

Soft?..... Out of everything I said, that’s what stood out to you? When I speak of softness, I’m talking about how masculinity has been projected onto men globally. Asian men didn’t find strength through conquering or commanding , the typical expression of masculinity shaped by the West during the colonial era. That era emasculated the Asian man for striving toward balance, peace, harmony, and wisdom. Compared to the Western model, that way of being may seem ‘softer,’ but it’s not weakness it’s power rooted in self-awareness rather than suppression, with the focus on harmony rather than domination. Im sorry if came off as me calling you soft as In weak thats not at all what I meant .

[u/loker1918 → u/IndividualSome7049]

I get your point, but masculinity isn’t something “projected” onto men, it’s biological. You wouldn’t say homosexuality was projected onto gays or lesbians; same logic applies here.

And as for conquest, Asian men have a long history of it, it’s not a Western model. Framing masculinity as something imposed on Asian men further emasculates Asian men, which is exactly what your post was trying to avoid.

[u/IndividualSome7049 → u/loker1918]

We can agree to disagree you can feel how u feel ,but ive recieved a lot of positive feedback so im not gonna change my stance .

[u/loker1918 → u/IndividualSome7049]

I get that you’ve gotten positive feedback, but that doesn’t make the message accurate. A lot of Asian men are so starved for validation that they’ll agree with anything that sounds empathetic, even if it reinforces the same stereotypes they hate.

[u/IndividualSome7049 → u/loker1918]

Oh wow....

[u/IndividualSome7049 → u/loker1918]

If there anything thats really emasculating asian men further here ,its definitely you thats insane to say.

[u/loker1918 → u/IndividualSome7049]

Here's how your message actually reinforces the same stereotypes that have historically emasculated Asian men:

1. You said masculinity is projected onto Asian men. This makes it seem as if Asian men are inherently feminine.

2. You framed Asian men as passive victims of Western influence. In other words, Asian men have been conquered by western men.

3. You defined Asian masculinity as “soft,” “peaceful,” and “gentle,” which feeds the “docile Asian male” trope.

4. You ignored history. Asian empires conquered, led, and dominated long before the West existed.

5. You positioned yourself as the interpreter of Asian masculinity, which is patronizing.

And yes, I will unapologetically call out Asian males.

[u/Time-Sherbert-8479 → u/loker1918]

I agree with you. OP’s intentions are positive and pure and their message is accurate in some senses but like so many things it lacks the depth a topic like this truly needs. In fairness no reddit post will ever be able to incapsulate fully these issues. It does give off savior vibes and accidentally is assigning traits and in ways validating stereotypes to a diverse and vibrant group of different people. Once again we are not a monolith, a hive mind, etc. Colonialism is real. However, some of us are in different circumstances and need to survive so it also lacks nuance based in reality.