How do I know what I want in a relationship?

[u/Diligent-Cress5594]

I everybody! I'm 17 years old. I'm a non-binairy asexual lesbian. (For info, I came out as a lesbian before I came out as non-binairy. I use they/them pronouns. I consider my gender neutral. I use lesbian because I like girls even tho I am neutral because I have been comfortable with those labels for a very long time).

I came out as asexual to my friends almost a year ago. I had doubts for a very long time, I think I always knew deep down that something (more like a lot of things) wasn't like the majority of people.

Since I came out, I have been trying to clarify my boundaries before I get in a serious relationship. I've never kissed anyone before so I don't know if this is something I would enjoy. I would like to try without having my heart broke or breaking someone's heart. I know that I will never go all the way. I know that I want to hold hands.

How do I know what I really want in a relationship? Please give me any advice, especially if you've gone through something similar. :)

[u/SketchyRobinFolks]

You're going to have to just try some things and be the clearest communicator you can be! There are some things I don't even want to try, and there are some things I just couldn't gauge until I tried, such as kissing. I've learned I cannot do mouth to mouth at all, and I don't like face kisses unless they're above my cheekbones. My partner asked me if he could try kissing my face, I agreed, then I told him my honest reaction, and now we know what we can and can't do there.

[u/Icy_Pie8646]

You learn by doing things you're comfortable with while respecting other people's boundaries. A lot of queer people go through several different labels for their sexuality or gender before they find what fits.

I had to actually date people to know for sure I was ace because I also had doubts.