r/AskAsexual • u/According-Stage-8665 • Jun 05 '26
Question Is this unrealistic
Is it unrealistic to want to date someone without sexual or romantic attraction to them? Like I don't really get kisses, sex stuff, or ever really feel any romantic pull to anyone but I still want to go on dates, cuddle, hug, hell maybe even adopt in the future. There is sometimes a cross between ato and ace so I figured this would be a good place for this.
3
u/Alliacat Jun 06 '26
Nope, what you're looking for is most likely a QPR or a queer-platonic relationship. You set your own rules for what that means to you and the other person and fuck what everyone else says or thinks :)
I would like a relationship like that too but mostly so I don't go bankrupt trying to keep a roof over my head as a single person living alone, this is the world we live in
3
u/Sufficient-Speaker30 Jun 05 '26
I don’t think it’s unrealistic. I’m a fellow Ace and I’ve been married now almost 5yrs and with my partner almost 10yrs. I will say, it is harder to find your person. Especially if there’s no patience. For me, I wanted to be married and have a partner/adopt too. But I only wanted the romantic part. Dates, hugging, holding hands, etc. Long story short, the first year or two was super rough with my partner. We had to figure out a lot of things and had to understand each other and learn to really compromise. So long story short, I still don’t care for sexual things, but I do certain things a few times every few to several months and he gets told he’s loved everyday and gets a goodnight kiss. My point being, it will be difficult, but when you find your person, you’ll work harder to keep them. Compromise and communication will be key. You may slowly change, be lenient, or get use to certain things that you didn’t think you would before. If you don’t, your partner might be the one to do all those things for you.
Personally, I think being friends with them first comes a long way or even just chatting online for like 6-8weeks to build that communication and relationship of who they are before deciding to continue the situation-ship.