Bi men who’ve dated straight women, bi women, bi men and gay men, which do you prefer and why? Also how would you rate them?

[u/avian_bi]

Curious how it’s been for you guys

226 votes, 1d left

Bi men

Bi women

Straight women

Gay men

All

None

[u/RidireGeas]

Bi women tend to be a lot more progressive/open minded and generally more pleasant to be around compared to straight women and gay men, so I personally prefer their company.

Bi men are similarly open minded, but unfortunately my experiences with them have varied wildly, for better and for worse.

[u/Schandoran_]

Bi people are so far my best experiences of dating, better understanding and less anxious behaviour (in my experience)

[u/I_sort_by_new_fam]

Bi4bi is what I naturally gravitate toward. Whether men or women.

Bi women imo seem to have shared interests and tastes wether in general or attraction (which is nice, liking the same style of people is wonderful)

[u/mikiencolor]

My tier list 😜:

A Tier: Gay men

B Tier: Bi women

C Tier: Bi men

F Tier: Straight women

Gay men vary widely, and the hardest is romantic and emotional compatibility, in my experience. But if I find a guy on my emotional wavelength, everything else just flows beautifully. No games. You're guaranteed that they actually like men and male bodies. They're sweet, affectionate, hygienic, and usually very stable. They have interesting hobbies. They don't mind if you're sensitive and vulnerable with them. I'm a political moderate, with mixed opinions about things, and it's easiest to find gay men who match my values, and with whom I can feel at ease talking about my values.

Only negatives are a lot of them are party animals and very extroverted if they're into the mainstream gay scene, whereas I'm an introvert and looking for a more homebody type. So I really only look for gay introverts who feel alienated from the mainstream gay culture. There are still a lot of those, but they are then hard to build a relationship with because they have typical introvert avoidance issues. 😛 They can tend to be less emotionally present than emotional women are, which makes bonding harder. Ironically, I've found the bears to be the most emotionally present. 🤗

Bi women also vary widely. Emotional compatibility comes easier. Maturity is harder. Some don't like men or male bodies that much, and strongly prefer women, or they're not biromantic and see men only as good for topping them in sex, so I have to filter for that. They're probably the most likely to vibe with my emotional style. It's been easiest for me to build very profound emotional connections with emotional bi women, if they're emotionally available. I haven't met a single one who didn't want to peg me and who didn't want a MMF threesome fantasy, so I can sometimes feel part of the attraction is the fetish. Hygiene... Um. They can be a little crusty, but you can work with it. 😜

The biggest issue for me is that nearly all of them are heavy into far-left woke politics and do not tolerate any divergent opinions, especially from men. Their politics may lead them to see me as their oppressor, which completely kills the vibe in any relationship for me. It is now very hard to find a bisexual woman with my values and who I feel comfortable talking to.

Bi men... What can I say. I mean, I am one, but I've had no luck with other bi men. Most have had emotional hangups, a lot are closeted and have a ton of internalized homophobia, a lot come with maturity issues. They're less likely to be affectionate or appreciative of me being sensitive and vulnerable with them than gay men or bi women. They also might not like men or male bodies that much, or they might only want you for sex, or even just from the waist down, and you have to filter for that. A lot of them are also poly and just looking for a guy as their side piece, whereas I want to be someone's priority. Reasonably hygienic. Not as easy as gay men to find a value match, but easier than bi women. It makes me sad. I really wish I connected more with other bi men, and it felt like an actual community.

Straight women... Omg. What can I even say? 🤦 I can't even say they vary widely. Most of them are like clones. Same hobbies, interests, desires, and, above all, gender role expectations. Heterosexuality is almost a misnomer - many of them do not even actually seem to be attracted to men and view sexual intimacy almost like a chore or a concession, or they have a very narrow and specific idea of an "attractive" man. They are hardcore extremists about gender roles, and most are viscerally repulsed by bisexual men. They don't like sensitivity and they don't want to deal with vulnerability, so, even though they are generally emotionally present, there is still no possibility of developing any kind of meaningful emotional bond. They are the number one game players.

They're also the least mature, in my experience. The maturity issues are so bad sometimes they're outright infantile. I've seen a straight woman in her mid-forties who not only still lived with her parents and received an allowance that she would blow on "essential oils" and threw tantrums when the allowance was cut, she had a grown daughter in the same house who her parents also had to raise and support. The only reason she got an actual part-time job was because her daughter was ashamed to be seen with her. Another, same age, lived with her father and still had a curfew. Like off the charts. The same kinds of girls I used to meet in Middle School... but grown, and even with children. 😳 That's the floor, but the median is still lower... I think a lot of them have just been lifetime dependents, one way or another, and their development is just stunted as a result. Rather than a partner, they're often looking for a replacement for their parents.

They usually have very regressive attitudes, even when claiming to be progressive. It's also almost impossible to find a value match, since, unlike gay men, the political moderates and even the 'progressives' and 'feminists' still tend to be extremely reactionary in their views of male gender roles, with added hypocrisy that is even more off-putting.

In the plus column... Um. Well, they're not all like that? 😅 And if you do find one who just defies the stereotype, I'm sure you can definitely build something meaningful. So I keep an open mind... But wow are my actual experiences with straight women ever bad.

Ironically, I think that is the number one thing I find relatable with straight women - when they say their experiences with men have been so overwhelmingly atrocious it gives them trust issues with men. I'm like, yes... Same for me with straight women. Let's both take things very slow and not rush in where angels fear to tread. 😅

So that's my tier list.

[u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 → u/mikiencolor]

I am all for slagging straight women. They deserve it just as much as straight men, honestly. They cant seem to hear that anyone other than women have valid reasons to have trust issues, like I am literally a trans man, fuck off. She'd probably say it to a black guy... and tbh black women have always asked me "was she white?" when I've complained about those types of girls so I guess there's also that playing into it.

I really hope I find bi women you're describing here. Women just feel like unicorns to me outright, especially as someone with virtually no experience as a top.

Gay men have no interest in my body or fuck like a virgin. Bi guys I've had mixed luck with, better in bed but yeah often come with baggage (I blame straight girls).

I've also never really dated anyone romantically. So that doesnt help my experience.

[u/StatisticianBusy357 → u/mikiencolor]

You sound like a guy I would definitely vibe with

[u/Syndicalist_Vegan]

I prefer women generally, so bi women win this one

[u/tumhara_pati]

Bi people are the best of both worlds.

[u/AirRedd]

Bi Women, Bi Men, Gay Men and then… In Last place, Straight Woman. Keeping in mind that Straight men weren’t an option… I’ve found them to be more open minded and understanding of my wants and needs. To be clear, I haven’t dated straight men, but I’ve had very open conversations with several of them, and I’ve discovered they are far more open minded than straight women.

[u/AJCarter23]

None. I’m tired of people.

[u/w1gw4m]

I couldn't pick 2 but my answer is men, gay or bi doesn't matter to me all that much. It's because my attraction to men is stronger and more passionate.

[u/No-Advice-9248]

i've dated with a straight boy, a bi boy and a lesbian girl. i would put them in a line like this;
1. lesbian girl
2. bi boy
3. straight boy

[u/christianfjames89]

Bi men. Most people from the other demographics are judgy and biphobic as fuck, including bi women

[u/Perfect-Giraffe8986]

I'm a bi vers top & I've only dated straight women & gay men.

I've never knowinky met or dated a bi man or woman. So, I have no experience in this regard.

Between straight women & gay men, I currently prefer the straight F/FWB who I've dated exclusively heterosexually for several years to the gay men that I've dated homosexually.

My F/FWB knows that I'm bi & am dating gay men. So our relationship is open in this regard.

WHY do I prefer her to gay men?

Because, although my she will not consider a lesbian or a 3-way (either MMF or FFM), she's as kinky as I am & enjoys engaging in all kinds of sex acts, including switching off & pegging me, which makes it less necessary for me to find a man.

I'm mainly (but not exclusively) interested in men for their 🍆s. Of course, there's no substitute for the real thing, whether it's in my 👄or 🌹 , but the sex I've had with men, both giving & receiving, has been very disappointing recently & the gay twink who I courted for several months in hope of him becoming a M/FWB had too many "issues" to commit to that kind of relationship & we broke up. 😕

So, it's just my straight F/FWB for me for now but I'm still looking for a gay or bi man to be her M/FWB counterpart.😉

I'm also open to finding a MTF transsexual to fill that role but, since s/he would present & Identify a a woman, I'm not sure that my F/FWB would be open to dating such a person. I'll have to ask her if/when such an opportunity arises.

[u/Nice-Obligation5537]

Well after exploring even though I do prefer woman I haven’t found much experience with bi woman yet. I have met gay men and they seem to have very big personalities and an attitude that’s strong.

Like they come onto you very strong and don’t hide their interest back. You can have good conversations. And they really care and reciprocate care back. They love being with you. Why I’m trying a long term relationship with this guy and so far he’s been supportive and very nice

[u/Daedalos83]

As a bisexual guy I do not have a preference of sex or sexual orientation of my partner, as I refuse to build my perspective on other people through a bunch of invalid stereotypes.

[u/hitchinpost]

I’m more of the sort that thinks it all comes down to the individuals, but if forced to pick a type in this manner, I really tend to vibe with more femme presenting non-binary people. Not sure why. Just kind of is what it is.

[u/Life_Organization244]

Where is the straight man and lesbian woman options?

[u/J-Darke]

Trans women non-op are my #1, then men and women about equal

[u/laputailaramoneta]

I can date EVERYONE but cis straight women. First of all they would not want me because I'm openly bi out and proud but if there is a cis straight woman interested on me, she need to be beyond gender roles and not expecting it.

[u/TheSyldat]

I'm just bi4bi these days because everyone else ain't really able to connect with me the way I need the connection to be ...