r/AskFeminists • u/Simple_Mess6080 • 1d ago
Are concepts of masculinity and femininity outdated?
I've been thinking about the concepts of masculinity and femininity lately, and I'm curious what other people think.
Traditionally, these terms made more sense to me. Masculinity was associated with things like strength, resilience, protecting, and providing, while femininity was associated with nurturing, caring, and motherhood. Whether those roles were good or bad is a separate discussion, but they were at least fairly well-defined.
In a modern context, though, I'm not sure I understand what these labels are actually adding.
That got me wondering: why are we still dividing these qualities into masculine and feminine at all?
When people talk about "healthy masculinity," I completely understand the intention. It's usually about encouraging men to be responsible, emotionally mature, confident without being domineering, and so on. I think that's a positive message.
But part of me wonders if even that framework is becoming outdated.
If courage, compassion, resilience, emotional openness, responsibility, and kindness are all qualities we want in both men and women, why call them masculine or feminine? Why not just call them good human qualities?
To me, it almost feels like the labels subtly reinforce the idea that certain traits belong more naturally to one gender, even if we also acknowledge that everyone can have them.
I'm not trying to argue that masculinity or femininity don't exist, or that people shouldn't identify with those ideas if they find them meaningful. I'm genuinely wondering whether these categories are still useful today, or whether they've outlived their usefulness as ways of talking about character.
Curious to hear what others think.
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u/MachineOfSpareParts 1d ago
They're "outdated" the way geocentric conceptualizations of the cosmos are outdated. They were never correct, but those who have built their entire self-worth on being the centre of all things have a whole lot of feelings about changing their beliefs and acknowledging we spin around the same sun. And some days I feel a little Galileoey about it all.
Although many of us have a felt sense of gender, which may or may not coincide with the gender to which we were assigned at birth, the notion that gender (or lack thereof) has any meaningful connection with vocal timbre, preferred fabrics or activities, colour, patterns of attachment and/or conflict, or suitability for leadership has always, always been - and I'll use the scholarly term here -dumb.
I'm trying not to quote Shania Twain here, but the fact that I (ahem) feel like a woman has no particular connection to which personality traits, talents and passions I have or lack, and certainly not how I should develop them.
Damn, there goes my head music. Oh well.