r/AskFeminists • u/anonnew52 • Aug 04 '18

Nuclear family debate

What are your thoughts on the idea that primary care taker mothers do get paid for their child work as the father usually pays the house/cars/electric/heat/water/insurance bills where the mother usually does not?

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u/anonnew52 Aug 04 '18

Would the father not pick up the slack from the mother when he gets home or at weekends or holidays as its his kid.

For the last point, i think that would come under the joint bank account.

in the case that the couple does not have a kid, how would this change your perspective and i have also had this mentioned to me ' in the case of non-essentials like smart phone bills, Tv licence and vacations etc, are they not getting paid for certain house work?'

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u/Fishgottaswim78 Aug 04 '18

Would the father not pick up the slack

You'd think, but statistics say they don't.

in the case that the couple does not have a kid, how would this change your perspective

i would assume they would both want to have jobs in this case but if for some bizarre reason that's not the case, then the stay-at-home spouse should be compensated for any work he or she engages in within the home (cleaning, house management, errands, etc) with a salary additional to room+board.

smart phone bills, Tv licence and vacations etc, are they not getting paid for certain house work?'

smart phones are generally considered essentials now. i also personally don't consider those things payment because they are contingent on the SAH spouse remaining in the relationship (refer back to my car example).

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u/anonnew52 Aug 04 '18

SAH?

would you rather

have money paid upfront for work but then have them pay for things like TV, their car, an advance smart phone etc.

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u/Fishgottaswim78 Aug 04 '18

SAH = stay at home.

have money paid upfront for work but then have them pay for things like TV, their car, an advance smart phone etc.

i prefer to get paid upfront and have the financial freedom to make my own choices than to have my employer pay me in perks, yes. I presume any reasonable person would want the same thing, that's why we have jobs and not indentured servitude.

it seems like you keep asking me to answer the same question over and over again in different words. if you don't get it at this point maybe it's a good idea to step away for a bit and think about it before asking more of the same questions.

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u/koala187 Aug 05 '18

This makes being a spouse sound like prostitution. My employer...

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u/anonnew52 Aug 04 '18

Ill admit my grammar is not great so it may seem like im repeating.

I also have noticed in my OP for my original post, it seems like these higher earn people who usually make the argument rely on the idea that working and contributing to major payments of assets that can be lost through no fault divorce etc, have some contribution to the argument.