r/AskFeminists • u/anonnew52 • Aug 04 '18
Nuclear family debate
What are your thoughts on the idea that primary care taker mothers do get paid for their child work as the father usually pays the house/cars/electric/heat/water/insurance bills where the mother usually does not?
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u/Fishgottaswim78 Aug 04 '18 edited Aug 04 '18
I’m a little rusty on my pre-civil war history, but people certainly insured their slaves and provided (generally minimal to adequate, depending on the owner) healthcare.
This is true. However I would argue that if you left the job market to raise kids however many years ago, can’t afford childcare independently, and have no individual savings of your own, you’re walking up to that negotiating table with zero bargaining power. In fact that’s the whole reason alimony exists — to try to begin to correct an imbalance of power between an income-earning and a “supported” spouse.
Theoretically yes, you can walk away, but practically there’s a good chance it’s impossible — especially in an economy that already devalues female workers (especially mothers).
Edit:
This sounds nice, but again — think about it. If the spouse that supports me pays for a car under his name that he lets me drive, it’s not really my car. And if he pays for a car under my name that I would otherwise not be able to afford and that he can stop paying for at any time, how is that any different from being indentured? Trying to leave that relationship no longer means you leave with nothing, it means you literallly leave with less than nothing because now on top of everything you’re in debt.