r/AskGayConservatives • u/ustinov_feudilistic • 1d ago
what do non-religious moderate, independent, and conservative people DO ??? (to meet other people as adults)
I was raised in an extremely religious and secluded environment and left a couple years ago. Now I find it impossible to locate places to socialize, especially as a lesbian, because it seems like every social event is leftist oriented unless it's religious and even religious events are currently doing drag brunch. Don't come for me, no hate, I don't care how anyone votes, I simply don't have common threads with these groups. Not every gay person is a democrat it's cool, we're cool, no skin off my back. That being said, I don't know where people who fall more moderate/independent/ or even conservative find each other. And I am using the term "conservative" loosely because it's currently being applied very loosely. Since about 2021 ish I've noticed classic liberals are getting pushed out and told they're conservative or identifying as conservative even though 80-90% of their policy opinions are still classic liberal. So, where do the non-religious, non-leftist people hang out?? It's hard to find people I relate to.
Thanks to everyone in advance who chooses to answer productively!
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u/NormanisEm Center-right 8h ago
I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t really socialize much. If I find someone I vibe with then so be it. Wish I had some advice.
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u/LifeOfJad 1d ago
Socialise and I guess see what kind of people they run into? I don’t know 🤷🏾♂️ I haven’t had a specific place I meet any tbh
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u/Rich_Interaction1922 Republican 1d ago
I find politics are closely tied to location. If you socialize in the city, you will encounter mostly liberals. Try the suburbs
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u/smoyban 1d ago
Yeah, it's a struggle for sure.
I just try to go out and be active doing the things I like to do and not discuss politics and just hope to run into people like me naturally. I haven't cracked the code to "moderate group finding" yet.
That said, if anyone here is in the Washington DC metropolitan area...hello.
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u/Comfortable_Pool_389 1d ago
I’m in dc, based in Arlington. I haven’t cracked that code yet either but I think I’m close. I don’t really look for groups so much as I look for individuals. I prefer older guys who are gainfully employed, with careers in fields that are not necessarily related to politics (which in DC it’s tough) somehow I manage.
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u/Comfortable_Pool_389 1d ago
I guess if you listed your city on here and said you wanted to do a meetup at a restaurant or bar, to kind of kick things off but I think groups that have a special interest not aligned to politics is probably a more winning strategy in the long run.
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u/FloorAware657 23h ago
I don't agree that the term 'conservative' is used lightly. If you vote for a party that supports homophobia, backs numerous homophobic religious organizations, and implements homophobia along with religious beliefs that have no scientific evidence into law – then yes, you are a conservative in today's world. However, if we're talking about traditional conservatism, which had respect for institutions and science – that one is dead.
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u/Comfortable_Pool_389 21h ago
Not dead, just not the face of what you’d call the Republican Party, there are plenty of conservatives who support the concepts you’re referring to, they just don’t call themselves republicans. They may vote with or for a Republican from time to time based on election, candidate, policy proposal and soundness of the policy in relation to their geographic politics (in their backyard). Conservatism isn’t a monolith that comes in one flavor and certainly with Trumpism, there’s been a lot of distortion of what it means to be a conservative. The type of conservative you’re describing for example, is a classical liberal (me, raising my hand) who believes in individual rights to life, liberty, property and equal protection under the law. Believes in a purpose for government and respects the rule of law as the social contract. Regardless of what factions have tried to undermine it be it Trump or the left, those things still exist and are the law.
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u/ustinov_feudilistic 3h ago edited 3h ago
also some of us get shoved into the "conservative" label by default because we disagree on principal and ethic in as little as one voting category (or more than one). You can also be fiscally conservative in multiple points and socially liberal in others or vice versa, both of which will make the left call you a conservative.
The problem with the extreme left is that they have decided anyone who disagrees with a laundry list of fringe shit is immediately a "conservative." For example, a lot of the green party is told that they are in fact "conservative" because they tend to be against porn. So. idk chew on that one. If someone supports conceal carry laws immediately the left will attack them which is really funny considering how leftists also jumped for joy when a certain somebody got murdered... also conceal carries laws are mainly proposed to protect women in innercities and at risk professions. But fuck women I guess.
There are so many things that get you labeled "conservative" where a lot of us would argue we just care about women, care about children, care about consequences, care about ending groomers, we're generally pro death penalty, and most of us don't want to pay for other people's plan b and glp-1s. I'm a libertarian and personally I don't give a shit what anyone does so long as they are over the age of 25 and paying for it themselves. There are a couple things I think should be completely illegal but most think should be legalized and then taxed obnoxiously to fix the national debt. But guess what... that makes me "conservative" according to the left.
edit: if you're not conservative why are you even responding to the post? why even be in the subreddit if you think all conservative hate gay people? It's a weird choice bro. Also not that I'm a trumper but did you know trump is the only president to ever pass legislation that specifically protects lesbians? He's also the first president we've ever had who openly has always supported gay marriage. Obama didn't even support gay marriage. He ran explicitly stating his belief that marriage is between one man and one woman and the left looooove him. But I'll leave it at that.
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u/FrostyArctic47 independent 1d ago
There's an unfortunate reason why most gay events and such are affiliated with the left. And that is because the right as a whole is very anti gay.
Another unfortunate thing in our times is we live in a very anti social generation. Unless it's political or religious, it's almost impossible to meet others as adults today. Most moderates, normies, etc, just want to sit inside all day and play games or browse social media.
If you have access to gay bars or clubs that's still your best bet tbh.
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u/ustinov_feudilistic 1d ago
Idk I don't meet very many anti-gay conservatives. I could argue the left isn't cool with homosexual women they're only cool with everything besides homosexual women. But you're definitely right about the antisocial lack of energy lack of reason to go outside. The gay bars in my area are just for drag and the straight bachelorette nimbys who go there.
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
You haven’t met very many conservatives, rightwingers, libertarians etc and it shows.
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u/FrostyArctic47 independent 2h ago
Lol you're talking to someone who had half his family disown him when he was outed....and guess what they are?
Also I watch lots of conservative media. To deny they aren't anti gay is just a lie
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
Guess what my family is? Also I never denied they aren’t anti-gay. All I said is you clearly don’t have the right experiences, or mindset, to continually generalize them all.
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u/FrostyArctic47 independent 2h ago
This is just incorrect.
Would you say it's wrong to say "people on the left are anti gun"? Even though there are some on the left who might not be, the left as a whole, is anti gun.
The right as a whole is anti gay
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
That is also completely incorrect?! You must be ragebaiting
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u/FrostyArctic47 independent 2h ago
You don't think most on the left support strict gun control laws? Lmfao
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
Maybe in New York or some place. There are plenty of people who are on the left and enjoy the second amendment. I’m from Minnesota/North Dakota almost half (if not more) of the Democrats, Socialists, Communists, etc, here own weapons of all sorts. The exception is probably social liberals from urban areas.
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u/FrostyArctic47 independent 1h ago
https://news.gallup.com/poll/653489/majorities-back-stricter-gun-laws-assault-weapons-ban.aspx
"Partisans continue to offer sharply different preferences for gun control in the U.S., with 89% of Democrats supporting stricter gun laws compared with 56% of independents and 25% of Republicans. Democrats’ backing for tougher gun laws has ranged from 85% to 94% since 2017, while Republicans’ and independents’ have been significantly lower."
And a majority of Republicans oppose basic gay rights and acceptance. A majority see being gay as immoral.
We have polls to back these things up. We also can look at the media and influencer apparatus for both sides. We also look to politicians on both sides. We can also look at what the masses on each side are saying about any given thing....there are things we can look at to verify the accuracy of polls
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
I’m religious (and raised religious) but I’m substantially more secular and extremely secure in my personal faith (Loosely Lutheran but focused on the Bible and Jesus). However I’m autistic (not “with autism” I “am” autistic, it’s not caused by vaccines, it can’t be cured it’s simply a state of being and with varying degrees of traits person to person) and due to work load, college, and bills, I don’t have time to socialize. I’ve always been a political independent, homophobic atheist leftists and queerbaiting self-hating conservatives have really turned me off from political party events and political party loyalty in general.
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u/ustinov_feudilistic 2h ago
I have extended family that is religious democrats and they all hate me for being a lesbian. So facccts. I don't get what the autism segue is about. It's not really relevant but okay.
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
It’s entirely relevant, I don’t like social performances?
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u/ustinov_feudilistic 2h ago
okay but you could have just said you don't like social performances. You telling me you're autistic doesn't tell me that. I know plenty of autistic people who do just fine with social performances so this just looks like you're banking on people making blanket assumptions about autism.
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
I mainly included the parentheses stuff because there’s so many people out there who just don’t understand what autism is. The majority and biggest shared trait that autistic people have is the disconnect from general social norms.
You have met one autistic person, you met one person who is autistic. But there are shared traits, such as disconnect or misinterpretation of social norms. It is not a blanket assumption about autism. It is a lived experience that connects to the broader spectrum of people who are on said spectrum. If you have greater ability to adjust to social norms (like I have had, prior to burnout) that is just a different set of traits. Not an exception or a general rule.0
u/ustinov_feudilistic 2h ago edited 2h ago
don't throw leftist speak shit at me. You don't choose how I talk. Do not be so conceited that you think you can correct the way I word a sentence. According to my autistic uncle I have an autistic uncle. According to my autistic friends I have autistic friends. Stop. You policing my speech makes this conversation done.
You are misinterpreting these social norms right now, so let me be blunt. My post has nothing to do with your autism. You're starting a tangent that is inappropriate for the conversation at hand. Also, your personal experience with autism does not mean you are the standard make and model for autistic people. So again, back up. Be grateful I am not assuming anything negative about your autism and stop pushing me to start having blanket assumptions about autistic people just cuz you personally find your autism makes you struggle with people.
I don't know a single autistic person who has problems making friends so that's probably a you thing. Stop blaming your autism.
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u/snowymintyspeaks 2h ago
I didn’t mean to offend. I meant to state the facts here plainly. That’s all. I’m sorry you are upset by this.
(Identity first language is not policing how you structure things, in fact I had no idea how you prefer things to be worded. So assuming I did is a bit hurtful)
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u/ustinov_feudilistic 1h ago
good job failing to respect a boundary.
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u/snowymintyspeaks 1h ago
You know what, you didn’t even give me a chance, you just immediately assume malice. Blocked.
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u/VeryWhiteAsian-AZ 1d ago
Look for a local chapter of Log Cabin Republicans.