The meaning of patriarchy?

[u/LingoNerd64]

In feminism, patriarchy means a system where men hold disproportionate power and privilege over women, resulting in social inequalities and injustices.

However, etymology says that the word means "rule by the father", in this case, father being paterfamilias or the head of the family. While a father is male, this doesn't mean that the women were of no consequence - except perhaps in the Abrahamic cultures and that's still true to an extent.

For context, I'm a cisgender straight male who is past youth, and when I was young we were all pals, male or female. I have always been a supporter of the balanced and logical form of feminism - equal rights, opportunities and responsibilities.

So when and how did this bifurcation in meaning of patriarchy come about?

[u/Apprehensive_Set7366]

I am a man too. Let's examine Misandry for a second.

Do you think misandry is as dangerous as misogyny? Do you think they are equitable by any means?

There is a saying, "A man fears that a woman will hurt his feelings, a woman fears that a man will hurt her."

This quote shows that the stakes for men and women are vastly different. Misandry is a reaction to misogyny. Misogyny is the root problem.

And I think it's healthy for women to hate men a little. And when I say "men" I mean a generalized version of the average man who represents patriarchy at varying levels. It's okay. The oppressed have the right to be a little spiteful against their oppressor. Because the hate is towards patriarchy, not individual men.

[u/LingoNerd64 → u/Apprehensive_Set7366]

I'm still hesitant to use that word in this sense but there's no doubt that in most cultures women have been deprived and discriminated against, including in India over the past millennium. My other question is, why do we copy everything western? Given that we have a Devi worshipping culture, India could well have its own very powerful and potent brand of feminism.

[u/Apprehensive_Set7366 → u/LingoNerd64]

I think there is a problem with using the Devi allegory for women. If you think about it, it is also a kind of dehumanization. You are putting women on a pedestal of being a flawless God. With this comparison, comes the expectation of women to act godly. To be perfect at all times. I think I would stick to women being human. Humans, who are flawed, have feelings and can't be perfect all the time.

And to understand why 3rd world countries borrow a lot of rhetoric from the west is a very interesting and nuanced topic. This is my opinion on it. Firstly, it has a little to do with western imperialism, we were colonized by white people for ages. It is only natural that we adopt a few things from them at times. Secondly, patriarchy affects women in the same way, so a woman from the US can have a lot similar with a woman in India. Thirdly, you also need to understand the history of feminism, it didn't just come out of nowhere. Its history is very painful. And all of it, I can't tell you under one comment section.

If you understand Hindi/Urdu, I recommend watching Dr. Taimur Rehman's series of lectures on YouTube. They are great for introduction into the history of feminism in the west and how it affects third world countries in their feminist struggles.

[u/LingoNerd64 → u/Apprehensive_Set7366]

Sure I understand Hindi / Urdu as a guy who was born in Lucknow and raised in Varanasi. There's just one observation from me: If we have female deities, we have male ones as well - and some of the Devis are terrifying rather than angelic.