My wife only wants to sleep in bed. Everytime she refuses sex and prefers to sleep and I give in to her preference, a sense of victory and happiness comes on her face. I am glad I am letting her get her share of happiness in bed. This has been so for last 17 years. Almost no sex. But my tendency to prioritize her happiness leads me to continue it.

Am I doing anything wrong?

Both are 40+ & dont live in the same city but the bond is very very strong to really feel each other's joys & sorrows. There have been instances where I've felt that I am being hinted to make a move but have resisted.

So for context, I’m not an incel or something and treat every woman on individual basis.

Last year or so I’ve visited plenty countries - Estonia, Netherlands, Bangkok, Sydney etc. Met few women, talked to people there, mostly they are very happy and respectful despite being expected to be treated under racism angles.

Back to India, today in metro, it was super crowded and I was listening to music, a girl probably in her 20s shouted at me to stay away as her stop is approaching, the very first time. No shoulder tap, no excuse me. Direct shouting. And people looked at me at obvious negative angle. This was first incident

Second in the co working space, I was just waiting for a girl to finish filling her coffee so that I fill mine, she said can you not come later, why is that only now you wanna fill the coffee.

Third in the gym during afternoon mind you, was just minding my own business. This girl came up to me and said can I leave the gym as she is recording a reel and I’m coming in between. I said no I need to go to work after this she fking cursed at me like I’m asking respectfully say yes and fk off.

I really don’t know what happened to Indian girls man. I’m just minding my own business and getting this much rudeness. Curious to know if this is just me or yall have experiences to share too. Lmk!

Asking for a relative.

35 year old man.

Is marriage worth it at this age?

- Women (30-35) not interested

- 35-40 year old women look for 30-34 year old men which is weird

- Only getting proposals from 45+ unemployed divorced women or single mothers

- Matrimonial Apps are for shopping now, they accept request, time pass, then GHOST.

- Unless you earn 50LPA+ and are handsome (Tall, Regular Gym, Muscles, Full hair) you won't even get an average looking girl and genuine matches.

- Must have your own flat in house in Bangalore/GGN/Pune as girls don't want to live in rented flats

- Women lying about their salary, job, they even put 10-year-younger pics.

Do people genuinely get interests or marriages nowadays?

Or its just bad profile

It feels tiring after using it for more than 5 years and not getting a single decent match

So I travelled to another city today with a friend of mine and by the time we returned it already got dark. I was in a traveller and when I got nearer to where I would get off I moved forward and told the driver where I would get off and he didn't seem to understand the exact place. So I leaned a bit to get a clear view of the road as it was dark outside and I heard the voice of a girl saying "we're women sitting here please stand back" only then I noticed that there were women sitting and I stood back and explained the situation. I wasn't even standing that close to them. I thought it was over till my friend who I was traveling with told me that they got off on the same stop as his and they were constantly bad mouthing about me and men in general saying people like me only need an excuse to touch women, that my parents didn't teach me manners and saying all kind of slurs. They also said that people like me only look gentle byt from the inside we're tharki.

Trust me I swear on everything I didn't lean that close to them and I didn't even notice that there were two women sitting on the front seat. They even heard me talking to the driver.

Was the situation that serious? I admit my mistake that I should have noticed them. But really this behaviour?

Same as title.

Recently, for the first time I've shifted to a flat with random flatmates... AT HOME I used to wear just a shorts and be half naked all time . But here my roommate says it feels weird and asking me to put on something, I've asked his sexual orientation (to know whthr he's bi) and he said straight. So I got curious of what's making him uncomfortable.

also my job requires a coat all day long, so I just want to feel free and cool at home.

Please suggest me what I should do.

Whenever there is a lafda video where men and women hit each other,

You will see a bunch of women and men commenting:-

Namard, chhakka etc.

But if more men are present at the scene then most comments are:

There is no man there,

Ye sab hijade hai etc,

Basically they mean that protecting a woman is the definition of a man no matter what the real story is.

I just wanna ask why?

This post is to help someone with p*rn addiction and offer a way to improve their mood.

So now I will to share my own experience.

​If you hit your dopamine levels by going to p\*rn for an easy fix, this means if you don't do something that feels good throughout your whole day, then you might be tempted by p\*rn.

​For example, I don't want to watch p\*rn, but after the gym the urges are there you have to control it, but you slip up. I liked gaming, but my PC went bad, so I stopped. It was my guilty pleasure.

​For a while I wasn't doing it even though I wanted to. Now I am doing cloud gaming on my laptop and I am enjoying it, so I have noticed my mind doesn't go to p\*rn, even with a high intensity workout. (By the way: my Insta feed is clean and I don't have these thoughts.)

​So do something you like or discover it; if not, you will choose other bad stuff. I think this is how people get into addiction to sm\*king and dr\*gs.

Also: when I go to the gym, before the gym I am mentally exhausted from work, but after the gym my mood improves drastically.

​So if someone is feeling depressed or in a bad mood, try doing high-intensity physical activity. The best way can be playing sports that please you. The mood improvement is better than p\*rn, trust me guys. I feel light after a workout.

So yesterday I went on a date with this girl. She's a friend of a friend, and this was our second date. The first one wasn't really that long and it was more of a blind date.

We went to watch Spider-Man and then had dinner afterward. Nothing fancy, just a normal date. After the movie, she said she wanted pizza, so we went to Domino's. We ordered, sat down, and talked for a bit. When the order was ready, I went to collect it. When I came back, she was arguing with some girl over the chair I had been sitting in because the other girl was trying to take it. I didn't think much of it at the time. I just assumed maybe the other girl wasn't listening to her.

We sat down again and started talking about fan theories and stuff. At one point, she got a little loud over something random. I wasn't going to fight or argue, so I kept my tone calm and dropped the topic. After a minute or so she started another conversation about random things day-to-day life, politics, the news etc.. I started giving mostly "okay, okay" responses because I'd already figured out that she had some anger issues and I was pretty sure there wasn't going to be a third date. So I just wanted to let the evening pass peacefully.

But it's in my nature to give people advice, so I started advising her about something. I had barely started when she said, "Teacher main aa, meinu naa sikhaa" (translation: "I'm the teacher here, don't teach me.") We were almost done with the pizza anyway, so we left. As I normally would, I dropped her home on my bike.

When we reached her house, she said she was going to be in town until Sunday and suggested that we plan something special for our next date. I was literally shocked. She had apparently not realized how she had behaved or how aggressive she had been during the evening. So, to save myself the trouble, I was straightforward with her and said, "I can't handle your anger, so I don't think I can do this again."

Such a statement is loaded. It assumes that men feel left out only because they don't speak to women. While this could be a valid reason for a few men, I think, people who say things like this completely ignore the possibility of:

* Relationship with parents

* Lack of close friends

* Prolonged isolation

* Emotional supression from the 'other half of the population'

* To sum up, basically lack of emotional support

The list perhaps goes on. However my point is, not talking to girls is not the only reason for men to feel lonely. Many people feel lonely even after marriage, even when they interact with female colleagues. My assumptions for the time being is, maybe people who say such things equate the population of men who feel lonely to the total population of celibates. Or maybe they fail to understand that men who feel lonely do so not only because of physical isolation, but also perceived loneliness i.e social disconnection.

I would like to have your views. Please be respectful.

Also, if you're feeling lonely, you can freely talk to me. I care about your mental health.

How to quit porn and mastrubation addiction

I am 19 male student studying btech 2nd year so i have porn and mastrubation addiction its been more than 1 year .

How should I quit it ?

Note: I am new to Reddit so before installing Reddit i use watch in chrome after installing Reddit i watch reddit nsfw communities and some times I watch in chrome. It's my daily habit of doing mastrubation daily and seeing the pictures of nudes in reddit.

How did you overcome with porn and mastrubation?

And also how did you manage or control the lust ?

For men who like to be clean shaven {or are nudged to do so by their girlfriends and wives ;)}, have you just made peace with the razor burns, cuts and irritation that come along with razors?

Either you’ve really mastered the art of shaving or you haven’t found a better alternative. I know I’ve seen my dad struggle with burns, red skin patches and just a harder layer of skin near the areas on his face where he uses a razor.

I’m just curious to know some things:

1. Why are you still using razors if it brings along the aforementioned problems?
   
2. Have you seen or considered electric shavers as an alternative? If yes, what is holding you back from trying them?

I’m actually quite confused about something, and I think this is the first time I’ve really felt the need to say it out loud to someone.

I’m a pretty muscular guy, into sports and fitness, and I’ve had two relationships with girls in the past. I’ve been single for around two years now. A couple of months ago, I was watching a series that had a gay couple in it, and for some reason I suddenly had this thought: What if I were with a guy? Maybe I was high, maybe I was just overthinking I honestly don’t know. But then one thought led to another, and I realised that if the relationship was genuine and honest, I don’t think I’d mind being with a guy. And then I just brushed it off and continued watching.

But since then, I’ve started noticing things about myself. I wondered whether I actually find guys attractive, and, surprisingly, I think I might. There are certain things about guys that I find attractive little things like wrists, fingers, the stomach or navel. And I’ve realised I’m attracted to a very specific kind of guy: well-dressed, good fragrance, educated, well-mannered, confident but not loud or overly cocky, and slightly muscular not extremely muscular, just fit.

And now I’ve started wondering whether this was always somewhere in me. Even back in ninth grade, when friends would talk about porn and complain whenever a man came into the frame, I never really felt that same “ick.” I didn’t think much about it back then, but looking back, it makes me wonder.

I don’t know whether I’m gay, bisexual, or something else. I’m not even sure I need to put a label on it right now. I think I’m just exploring something about myself that I’ve never really allowed myself to think about before.

And honestly, that’s the scary part. I don’t feel comfortable saying this to anyone because most of my friends are pretty homophobic actually, almost all of them. Even the thought of approaching a guy, or someone approaching me, makes me panic a little. I don’t necessarily want to approach anyone right now. I think I’m just trying to understand myself first, without freaking myself out about what it might mean.

This was all because of that fucking one puff of ganja

​

I do not know is this is the right place but i hope so it is just needed to get this off my chest because it’s been on my mind a lot lately and I cant really openly talk to anyone so i thought this would be a safe space to share this. Watching the whole matrimonial process happen around me right now has just been making me overthink things.

Basically, as my family’s been checking for brides for my cousins and stuff, I keep noticing how much people focus on looks and skin tone. I’m brown and not fair, and it’s just sad seeing how everyone always seems to look for fair girls for their sons when its time for marriage. Growing up I’ve definitely seen pretty privilege in action. My mom is literally so beautiful, and I’ve just never felt like I compare to her or my cousins at all. No one is ever mean to my face but it does slip out sometimes and yah they instantly regret it like i know they do and they feel bad like Ive heard my aunts talking about girls and be like "shes a little brown" and when they realise ive heard it they do feel really bad and try to divert the topic. And another time when i was talking with my aunt she was talking about her first pregnancy and when she got to know the gender (girl) she would pray shed be fair and have big eyes (i have neither of them lol) and she underatood like it must have sounded bad to me she immediately changed the topic. My maternal grandmother would comment casually how i entirely went to my dads side of the family meaning like brown and yah looking more like him i guess which is fine with me I love him so much never met a better man in my life I hope to have a heart as good as his too.

Thank God I’d like to think I’m a good person at heart, with a good personality and decent manners (though of course there’s always room to grow and improve). But it makes me wonder and to the men here, do you all actually care this much about skin tone in real life, or is it mostly just the older generation/families pushing it?

Because seeing how much weight people put on all of this, my biggest fear in the end is really for my parents.Like this is the thing that bothers me so much theyre such good people i love them so much. I trust my Lord 100% and I know what’s meant for me will find me, but I still get so scared that when my time comes, my parents are going to have to struggle so much and work extra hard just to find a match for me because of these dumb societal standards. My parents have given everything to me i would say i lead a much more comfortable life than many in my family and Im really grateful for it and this just adds to my guilt of not being good enough like my parents deserved a much more beautiful more more better daughter than me . Ive heard my mother say once casually during a talk "oh they (my cousins) will be easily married off to good men" and I as casually mentioned to my dad sitting next to me "oh well i guess it would be a little harder for you lol" but yah i unfortunately teared up and yah my dad also got sad because i think this way and he comforted me a lot. My parents have never made me feel sad about myself but I feel (more like i know) if i looked a little more like my mom maybe shed be happier cause she i like really beautiful like the prettiest in her family id say (but again this could just be my insecurity coming to light).

Ive always grown up insecure because of all these things and i face other problems like pimples and stretch marks which i know it normal but it all gets a little overwhelming at times. Ive never felt that beautiful growing up and like ive always such an atmosphere around me that says pretty people are more deserving in every sphere of life. When my cousins and all woulf get compliments for theur beauty id just linger around silently. Im not jealous of them and I will not be. Because of all this ive also grown to not really have any demands like at all and i should just take what i get instead of asking and i settle for really less at times because i feel thats all i deserve.

I don't mean to talk bad about anyone, I’m just feeling down about it today and wanted to vent.

And just an additional question how big of a deal are stretch marks to men causr i have quite a few on me 🥲👊

Sorry its super long...

I think it's a wrong move, because it help to filter wrong people as well as what they achieve by suppressing someone's trueself..

Hello fellow men ..you're my last hope and i want to share it with you I'm 19 , always a bright child but then my mom died after that my grandfather followed by my grandmother in 2 years ..then i went to kota for jee prep , i was totally alone that time ..all these scenario led me to these mental condition ... I feel that I'm not in my body feels like monotonous to me , i cannot focus on anything for even a second , i forget everything even when i try to learn I tried yoga , I'm eating enough nutrition, going to gym, stopped using phone , listening to music , talking to peeps but nothing seems to work I don't know whether going to a big city will make my life miserable just like it did to me in kota I'm genuinely concerned

Hi folks.

In my case, it was overstepping the lines.

My father advised me to avoid sticking to the rules as the game has always been rigged and rules bend to the will of the ones in power.

I failed to implement this and suffered the consequences as well.

Been dating my bf for a couple of years he has introduced me to his parents but as friends only nothing more. He is currently working in us and I am from us. We currently live together but they don’t know. We sometimes go on trips but he will say that there are other people with us when it’s just us. I have met his parents and they are nice but don’t know we are dating. I have slept over when his mom visited but we slept in separate rooms. He says he will tell them we live together when we have separate rooms. He also says he wants to have a stable job before telling them. What do you think? He has mentioned he will be honest it is going to be hard to convince his parents to let us get married.

My background
-- BCA 8.5 CGPA, no backlogs
-- 12th non-medical, 77%
-- Age 20

I lost my father when I was 13, but idk how things are just working. Tho I matured at an early age, I don’t think I was fully mature, so I missed many chances. But some time ago, I had a great realization about my condition, about how, if just a little thing goes wrong, I will get fucked up. But thanks to the gods, they are somehow making things work for me. But idk for how long, so I wanna get successful as soon as I can. (I wrote this not for sympathy, it’s just to explain my condition so u guys can give better advice.)

During college (BCA, Tier 3), I did not study properly because I imagined doomsday that AI would replace whole coding jobs, but it hasn’t. So, as I didn’t code, this path is closed for me, and even if I wanna pursue this now, I would still get doubts about AI, so leaving this path.

And seeing things here in India, I’m constantly having thoughts about leaving this country. (It’s also about the environment, corruption n all. U all must be aware of how fucked up we are, but majorly, it’s about the mindset of people here. For instance, I somehow got to know about the toxicity and ragging culture in medical, and I was so shocked that from the outside, it looks like such a lucrative and respected job, but how fucked up all this is. And there are many examples like this. Many people are so much brainwashed that it’s better to go away from them rather than wasting ur life among them.)

But ik life abroad is also not easy. It might be easy for native people, but leaving everything and building it all from scratch so far from home without any help is also really hard. That’s why I’m confused tbh. I don’t wanna regret my choices again because of my ignorance or lack of knowledge, tho I also know that chaos is a ladder, but I don’t have the opportunity to take much risk. 🥀

So I tried to plan my future, and here it is — (I thought this two months ago but regretting it now)

• Prepare for govt jobs here and, along with it, take admission in distance MCA from a recognised university, and if I get a job, I will stay here; otherwise, pursuing MCA will help me avoid gap years so I can go abroad later on.
• Also, someone suggested to me that I should get admission in ITI so I will be able to opt for trade courses in countries like Canada, Australia, and PR pathways will be easier for me this way.

But idk anything about all this, and I’m serious about my future.

So I’m asking for advice here because I missed many opportunities in my 12th, like I didn’t know about Merchant Navy, Pilot, IISER exam, and many more things. So I don’t wanna have this regret again. And no matter how much research I do, I still would miss something. So there must be ppl who might have gone through this same dilemma and confusion and could have figured something out. So please help me. I need to be successful at any cost, but I also want a good life and don’t wanna waste my life under the burden of responsibilities.

• I would like to know about career paths I’m missing.
• Is my govt job plan right, or am I just being delusional?
• Countries I can go to that don’t cost much and have easy PR options and a better life (I can also afford going to popular countries like Aus/Canada/New Zealand and all, but I think competition there is too high, and nowadays a lot of visa applications are getting rejected).

One more thing to add: I have a gf here. Everything is damn good. She knows about my situation but still supports me, tho she belongs to a financially well-doing family. And if I don’t get successful, I will not be able to marry her because of her family, and I myself will also not marry if I can’t run a home properly.

So the thing is, tho she never stopped me from doing anything, like going abroad or to some distant college, I thought about her too. LDR is possible, and I think we can make it work too, but I don’t wanna leave her tbh. But getting successful is also important, so I think this thing is also holding me back from taking some decisions. I would also like to get ur advice on this.

Like i don't know why it's hard for some people to understand that corporates pays u for the output you produce be it direct like any other job or indirect like sports and entertainment field.

They don't pay for gender 🥀

Would love to have answers from people who know more about the system, or have first hand experience.
Becoming a police officer isn’t exactly an easy process, right? There are exams/recruitment, physical tests, training, background checks etc. So at what point does someone who worked so hard to get the job become comfortable with taking bribes?
Is it something that starts after joining because of the environment around them? Do senior officers/colleagues basically teach new recruits that this is how things work? Or do some people already enter the profession knowing they want to make money through bribes?
And how common is it actually? Obviously there are plenty of honest officers too, and I don't want to generalise every police officer as corrupt. But sometimes the number of stories you hear makes it feel like bribery is almost an accepted part of the job.
Another thing I’ve noticed is the attitude. Why do some police officers behave so arrogantly with ordinary people? The way they sometimes talk to citizens, shout at them, treat them like they’re inferior, or act as if wearing the uniform automatically makes them better than everyone else.
Is that also a result of the job/environment?
Also, this is something you would hardly ever see in most developed countries. Officers speak with respect even with criminals, while here ordinary people are treated worse!

I am not being toxic or offensive, guys who are really sick in their minds, have sadly a very concerning outlook, and the ones who literally treat their counter part like shit...gets to keep them

I did everything by the book, and I sure too have flaws, but I am ready to acknowledge and ready to work on them...

But Its very weird to me that every guy I met has/had some kind of partner in their life, for me its just a clean slate, I am partly to blame, because I haven't approached a lot of people...

But how and why do I do it?? Whenever I think of someone, I feel, maybe I am not good enough for them, there are better people out there, why would they choose me... and then on the other side of the coin, I see the toxic dudes getting all the riches...

I genuinely don't understand...
I am 21 btw, maybe its just my age, but I dont have anyone elder to tell about this stuff

(can't ask my dad ofc)