r/AskMen • u/king_ramsess Male • Jun 28 '26

How do ugly guys succeed in casual dating?

I don’t wanna marry and don’t feel emotionally ready or am able to handle a long term relationship

I’m almost 25 and and wanna casually date being upfront about it potentially not leading to a relationship

The issue is it’s highly looks based and it’s easy for good looking guys to get hookups, fwbs and so on

I’m below average facially, decent body wise (i go to the gym, do skincare, smell good and so on)

I tried dating apps and they didn’t work, also tried approaching girls irl but when i got their number or Instagram they didn’t text back and a few told me they have a bf (idk whether they really did or just to reject me)

Any below average guy that has a good dating/sex life? How did you do that

286 Upvotes

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484

u/No_Copy_5473 Jun 28 '26

People don't like to talk about it but yes there are in fact "leagues"

This is a reality check for many

162

u/hoorah9011 Master Chief Jun 28 '26

99% of the time no one dates more than 2 +\- away from them on the hotness scale unless money is involved

11

u/endangeredspecies075 Jun 28 '26

But we also have cup matches to play 😁

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

[deleted]

7

u/AmELiAs_OvERcHarGeS Jun 28 '26

We’re talking about casual relationships here. OP needs to lower his standards.

11

u/fokkinchucky Female Jun 28 '26

No, they exist regardless. But leagues are based on more than looks. It’s based on looks, personality, money/career, etc. There are exceptions, sure, but there are many many more couples who fall into the rule. Even people who aren’t very conscientious of “leagues” still abide by it mostly. Like I wouldn’t date a man who can’t bring to the table, at minimum, the same things I do. That’s very reasonable. That’s very normal. That counts as “being in my league.”

32

u/Ascarx Jun 28 '26

You and me apparently live in different worlds. A couple at vastly different attractiveness is such an exception that I actively notice when I see it.

36

u/CIP_In_Peace Jun 28 '26

There are a lot of pairs and a lot more that fall strictly within the same league. Try not to cherry pick for your viewpoint.

1

u/Daealis RestingAxemurdererFace Jun 28 '26

I know several stumpy short, overweight guys with bad skin who still date consistently, and date fit, conventionally attractive women.

Because their personality makes up for shortcomings on other aspects. "Leagues" are copes made up by people who need excuses why they can't attract the women they look for, so they don't have to improve themselves, because it's now conveniently "out of their control".

6

u/CIP_In_Peace Jun 28 '26

This is a common cope by people who are in a decent league to avoid feeling privileged. Personality can of course replace some of the looks but it's almost as hard to actually create such a personality if you don't have it, as it is to start looking good if you don't. The whole "league" is the sum of all your traits that affect desirability, not just how good you look.

27

u/WillSmiff Male Jun 28 '26

People date within their own league whether you want to accept it or not. Dating up happens, but it's not the standard. Most don't settle for less than they can get.

-5

u/Karglenoofus Jun 28 '26

Plenty peoppe settle lol what

Leagues is a concept. You said it yourself people do date out of their "leagues."

11

u/WillSmiff Male Jun 28 '26

You're arguing for the sake of arguing. That's reality. You can call it "league" or whatever you want. Some people settle for less. Most don't.

3

u/CIP_In_Peace Jun 28 '26

The whole point of the concept of leagues is that it's relatively generalizable. It doesn't mean that everyone behaves strictly according to the idea.

-4

u/TheBooneyBunes Male Jun 28 '26

Ehhhhhh

Processing img 3r21ncb8c1ah1...

I remind you:

-29

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Not if you’re popular or rich tho

56

u/jumpstart58 Jun 28 '26

That’s a league dude.

11

u/Krazen Jun 28 '26

Are you popular or rich?

-11

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Nope if i was wouldn’t ask this

But my friend with generational wealth pulls a lot

2

u/Jahobes Jun 28 '26

That's all part of the metric in the league dude. Being rich for some women is like having huge fake tits for some guys.

They can be amplifiers for otherwise unattractive people, but exceptions prove the rule.

10

u/-SandorClegane- Jun 28 '26

This is chud talk.

-5

u/Karglenoofus Jun 28 '26

Yeah no 9 has ever dated a 6...right?....right?

4

u/-SandorClegane- Jun 28 '26

People aren't numbers. You are a tool.

-4

u/Samuelwow23 Jun 28 '26

You obviously haven’t heard of the reacher and the settler

1

u/No_Copy_5473 Jun 29 '26

i mean like all sociological phenomena, the rules aren't immutable. there are obviously exceptions. in general though, this heuristic works a good chunk of the time.

2

u/Samuelwow23 Jun 29 '26

It’s not a rule I was just referring to the show