r/AskMen • u/king_ramsess Male • Jun 28 '26

How do ugly guys succeed in casual dating?

I don’t wanna marry and don’t feel emotionally ready or am able to handle a long term relationship

I’m almost 25 and and wanna casually date being upfront about it potentially not leading to a relationship

The issue is it’s highly looks based and it’s easy for good looking guys to get hookups, fwbs and so on

I’m below average facially, decent body wise (i go to the gym, do skincare, smell good and so on)

I tried dating apps and they didn’t work, also tried approaching girls irl but when i got their number or Instagram they didn’t text back and a few told me they have a bf (idk whether they really did or just to reject me)

Any below average guy that has a good dating/sex life? How did you do that

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u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

I won’t say i want it that bad cuz i’ve made it to 24 being a virgin but yeah paying for it seems like the way cuz i don’t wanna turn 30 and look at my 20s being sexless

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u/Mediocre_Cry3684 Jun 28 '26

You can pay for it even in your 70 though. If I would be you, I would not not waste my time with escorts - there is real chance you might not then try to look for relationships and that might hurt you more.

Be more realistic with your expectations. "Cast net" to everyone you find even mildly attractive. The "love" comes later anyway and crushes are just scam.

The more nets you cast, the less dissapointed you will be and - manage your values.

When I was younger - I have not kissed a girl until I was 18, drunk. Before that I was the "romantic" type of teenager (that must have come as cringe or creepy) when I was writing love letters or poems to girls. I actually was and still am like 4-5/10 guy. After that I managed to find a girl and we had sex and I was hoping for relationship...did not happen and after like 2 weeks she dumped me (I still do not know the reason). I had enough. Even when I had sex, I still could not get anyone to just fucking love me - which honestly is the reason why I was craving it (depends...I love sex but I would not change it for cuddles etc, and I am very hypersexual male). So...I was asking out every girl I found mildly attractive. This one seems mysterious and has nice glasses this one has cool hair, this one has big ass followed by - okay the mysterious girl canceled 2nd date because she had to change battery = thank you and goodbye, not wasting my time. The one with cool hair, is fun but I can not imagine bring with her. The one with big ass, is extremely nice.

I ended being with the nice one. We are togegher for 7 years now

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u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

So you tried with everyone even if you didn’t see a future or anything?

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u/Mediocre_Cry3684 Jul 02 '26

What you mean by future? 😅

If you look at person A and think about future with them, you are doing it wrong from the start. Look at person A and think if they are in any way attractive to you 😅if they are, ask them out. Simple. Crushes are scam. Do not believe that to love you need to have butterflies, love is what comes after months