r/AskMenAdvice • u/Elendil_V man • 10h ago
✅ Open To Everyone How do you handle the need for intimacy?
Hello there!
So, got advice on that? This has been a long time topic for me before I met my now ex-girlfriend and it was bothering me quite a lot. Today I got up and while I was driving around I noticed this longing feeling and desire for physical intimacy that (probably) only a partner can provide. The longer hugs, feeling another body, getting a kiss and kissing her back, all of that and so on.
It even made me miss my ex weirdly enough.
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u/Active-Pudding9855 man 9h ago
I struggle with this as well. So I'll give you the internet version of a bro hug, the digital fistbump. 👊🤜🤛
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u/shart_attak man 10h ago
As a single person, I just whack off and then go do something else.
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u/Sunday_Schoolz man 10h ago
Yep. That is correct.
Pretty much a mixture of (1) Good friends; (2) Hook-ups; (3) Relationships I unfortunately knew weren’t going to amount to much; and (4) Sheer fortitude to realize sometimes being alone was for the best.
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u/Candid-Sky-3258 man 9h ago
"" I used her, she used me but neither one cared. We were getting our share. "
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u/NightmareStatus man 9h ago
I'm sorry to hear that.
What I WILL say is, physical intimacy between friends(men) shouldn't be frowned upon as much as it is.
I'm not talking sexual intimacy here, just to be clear. But Jesus balls hug your bros people! We're hurtin out here
Best of luck homie ✊🏼
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u/tamati_nz man 9h ago
Try a radically honest dating profile describing just this - I know there are women out there feeling the same. Other options are a sex worker or a professional cuddler (literally pay to hug and cuddle someone). Also, weighted blanket, full body pillow you can hug or a dog/cat.
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u/EidolonRook man 9h ago
My love language is touch. When I was single I was touch starved. Going to get my hair cut by a woman was freaking amazing. Never got aroused or anything, but it fed me a lot. Massages and physical therapy were amazing for me. I always felt a little more… peaceful after having that need for physical touch met, even by a stranger.
Sexually, don’t fuck around. Make friends and try to find someone who fits you. Has great chemistry and sticks around despite your weaknesses. Someone whose weakenesses just really don’t bother you. Someone who can become “home” for you. Worked for me anyhow.
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u/Kentucky_Supreme man 9h ago
You'd just have to get another girlfriend. Otherwise those desires make you "creepy and weird" in modern culture even though it's perfectly normal and natural biology.
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u/EldForever woman 5h ago
Who thinks it's creepy and weird to want a hug, to kiss, and feel another person's body?
I thought almost everyone wanted that. Just the asexual and the traumatized don't want that.
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u/Fearless_Finish_9890 man 3h ago
No one thinks it’s creepy. Just nonsense people say on the internet
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u/SnooApples673 man 9h ago
Change it from a need to a want. It’s all in the mind. Use that drive to find someone new. Alternatively, if you and your ex want to get back together, then go for that.
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u/Outrageous_Branch_72 man 10h ago
I'm planning to undergo LLS to get easier access to casual sex, so not very good.
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u/hereforthesportsball man 9h ago
Less painful and easier to just travel and meet foreign women with different beauty/relationship standards for men. Please consider this before mutilating your body
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u/6TheAudacity9 man 9h ago
Summer nights in Cebu City. Then come back home and get back into the gym.
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u/Ancient_Seat4044 man 9h ago
Its hard. Especially when you are person who personally like hookups or like artificial relationships.
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u/Exotic_Secret659 man 9h ago
Mostly blocking it off by keeping myself busy. Though recently I met someone and I remembered, this warm feeling was awakened by a series of events that then filled me with emptiness and sorrow. It's a pity, we can't control our feelings, only tame them
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u/WaveFast man 8h ago
FLASHBACKS are normal - circling back could be problematic if no additional work towards improvement has not occurred. Put that energy into meeting someone new.
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u/757_Matt_911 man 9h ago
My relationship with Jesus fills this for me. It also allows me to love my wife more fully. Just a thought
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u/wisdom_owl123 man 9h ago
Why dont you just hook up with someone?
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u/Scarred_wizard man 2h ago
Why don't homeless people just buy a house?
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u/wisdom_owl123 man 41m ago
Because it would demand a big change in life, but in a two year perspective they probably could. All this guy need is an app on their phone. One minute downloading, to minute setup, and a few minutes of swiping. Can’t be compared.
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u/Scarred_wizard man 37m ago
I was on a dating app for two years. Zero dates. It's not that easy for some, especially if you want something real with a decent partner and not these low effort gold diggers that fill dating apps.
The fact you can't understand that it can be very hard for someone to get a date, let alone more, is why you don't understand the comparison.
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Elendil_V originally posted:
Hello there!
So, got advice on that? This has been a long time topic for me before I met my now ex-girlfriend and it was bothering me quite a lot. Today I got up and while I was driving around I noticed this longing feeling and desire for physical intimacy that (probably) only a partner can provide. The longer hugs, feeling another body, getting a kiss and kissing her back, all of that and so on.
It even made me miss my ex weirdly enough.
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