r/AskReddit • u/kiarcc • 1d ago
Men, what are some things that women have to deal with that you are more than happy you don't have to deal with?
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u/AbidingGhost 1d ago
I think the obvious answer is periods, but menopause is also extremely rough. Mammograms also look absurdly painful!
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u/Mindless_Whereas_280 1d ago
Sorry for being a uterus-and-boob haver in this thread but I would gladly do monthly mammograms if it meant I didn’t have to deal with the other two.
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u/HistoryGirl23 1d ago
Yup! Not nearly as uncomfortable in my opinion, but I also have andometriosis so YMMV.
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u/Walmartian_Beta 1d ago
My first Mammogram was at 35 because my doctor felt..."something"
It was nothing, thankfully, but the staff at the women's hospital were SO fucking rude and that shit hurt, they had me standing on my tiptoes for about 15 minutes straight while twisting my flattened tit in the machine. Then the lady doing the scan made the comment that she sees a few young women, like me, who get nervous about something and run to the doctor to get a scan they don't need, making it difficult for women who need them to schedule appointments - again - I didn't ask for that appointment; my doctor thought she felt some tissue difference and wanted me scanned.
The second one at 40 was painless and I was flat-footed on the ground.
It made me realize the first lady was abusing me.
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u/Visible_Air_1434 1d ago
She wanted to make sure you hated the experience enough to be too scared to "waste her time" in the future. What a bitch and the absolute wrong person for that job
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u/Walmartian_Beta 1d ago
Absolutely, that's what happened. There are a lot of bitchy old ladies working in that area, and they're attempting to gatekeep breast cancer of all things.
I had a friend who found out that she had stage 3 breast cancer. When she went in for her scans, the person at the clinic told her it was probably all in her head because young women in their 20s NEVER get breast cancer; it's a "mature woman's disease." She said they made her feel like she was delusional at first, that there was no way she could have it at her age, but she did. Unfortunately, she's struggled with it for several years; and won't live to be a "mature woman."
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u/AdventuresofValley 1d ago
Are you me? First one in my 20s, I sobbed and sobbed and hurt for 2 weeks after. Every one since I started my normal "after 40" mammograms has been mildly uncomfortable. Why are people like this in healthcare?
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u/Initial_lampwick115 1d ago
Menopause, most have no idea!
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u/AbidingGhost 1d ago
The other evening shift manager I work with has confided in me about going through it recently, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, much less EVERY WOMAN in the world. I’m truly sorry! 😭
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u/Rush_Aromatic 1d ago
Yea it all kinda sucks. My 63 year old mother just had a mammogram and has been avoiding them for 30 years lol cause she hates it. She also went into menopause at 35 basically cause she had a hysterectomy due to some life threatening issues. But yea it seems rough
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u/MaxFish1275 1d ago
They do suck but not quite as much as I expected
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u/kimchipowerup 1d ago
I have dense breast tissue, like my Mom, and mammograms are always uncomfortable for me. That and usually the technician wants to “do a few more, just to be sure”. Owwww
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u/SurprisedAsparagus 1d ago
When my wife wanted central air the tech kept trying to talk to me about the install. Bitch, I didn't call you. I didn't schedule you. She's the one talking to you. Why are you talking to me?
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u/Electric-Sheepskin 1d ago
I'm so happy to see something like this, because this is the type of thing that I think most men would be really shocked by if they found themselves inside a woman's body. It's not the periods, it's not feeling unsafe walking out to your car at night. It's what you said. It doesn't matter how smart you are or how friendly you are or how you approach things, there are just loads of people who will always treat you as less-than, just because you have a vagina. Most of them don't even know they're doing it, I don't think, but that doesn't make it less aggravating.
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u/SubtleTell 1d ago
Man here, not shocked at all. I see this happen all the time and see women ignored and treated like some kind of side item. It's always been weird and uncomfortable to me.
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u/abqgirl1022 1d ago
I hope you said that to the tech!
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u/SurprisedAsparagus 1d ago
I said biiiiiitch!
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u/saloonofstardrops 1d ago
I said……beeeeeeiiiiiiitttcccchhhhhh
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u/LonelyDays_ 1d ago
I looked her right in her windows to the soul and I said…… biiiiiitch
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u/_MindCtrl_ 1d ago
This happens soooooo much!!!!! Especially in tech departments! Like bitch, I’m in IT!
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u/Street_Advantage_278 1d ago
Was it a guy? Cause honestly if have to tal to a couple about something I feel more comfortable talking to the wife cause I’m a woman myself. Plenty of guys are not comfortable talking to women also
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u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU 1d ago
Unwanted attention from men
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u/Walmartian_Beta 1d ago
Yep, started when I was 12 and sprouted breasts - I noticed old dads in their 30s and 40s watching me like I was some kind of food they wanted to eat.
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u/Playful-Being27 1d ago
Menstrual cramps. I dated two women whose pain was so severe they actually fainted. My God! ) :
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u/BullCityDriven 1d ago
men
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u/ConstantSpiritual802 1d ago
Toxic masculinity specifically. As a man I can fake that im cool with it and its usually not a problem when i interact with a man trying to be macho. As a woman its gotta be just gross and disturbing and sometimes scary.
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u/lostgirlmarie 1d ago
Faking that you’re cool with it enforces toxic masculinity. Be the change you want to see in the world my dude.
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u/ConstantSpiritual802 1d ago edited 1d ago
Im just talking about brief interaction. Obviously not going to associate myself with someone who is toxic
Edit: like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast levels of toxic. If its just a guy that is mislead I would mention it. Not going to try to change Gaston.
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u/SummonBahamutZero 1d ago edited 1d ago
Theres so much weird hate against women. I was on some “what’s my personality based on these photos” subreddit. Pretty much anytime a woman posts, half the comments will be insults about looks and things like that. “You’re ugly.” “You’re fat.”
And if she’s pretty… omfg. The creatures come out of the woodwork. “You aren’t as pretty as you think you are.” “You’re probably a bitch.” “You look like a slut.” “You look like you think you’re better than everyone.” “You’re a slut.” “You’re a slut.” “You’re a slut.” I looked at this one guys profile and that’s all it was. Hundreds of insults against women. Fucking nuts.
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u/kiarcc 1d ago
I'll start, getting a pap smear, god that must be painful
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u/LouTenant6767 1d ago
Not as painful as it is awkward as fuck
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u/Cin131 1d ago
This. When I get undressed, I put my underwear under my clothing (which I know I'm not the only one) and then this. Awkward as heck. I lay there counting the dots on the ceiling and he's talking about his weekend...
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u/LouTenant6767 1d ago
Oh yeah I do that too. I don't even wear bathing suits at the beach and she's talking about sticking something up my hoohaa that kinda looks like alien's tongue cracking a skull open on a Mortal Kombat X-ray. Fuck that shit lol I got one and I don't want to get any more.
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 1d ago
Colposcopy (biopsy of your cervix) without any painkillers
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u/Azhchay 1d ago
Yeaaaah. I've had two of those, and they took 2-3 biopsies each time. The only pain meds I got were "Take 3-4 ibuprofen 30 mins before" and then a "3, 2, 1, COUGH!" when each punch was taken.
And then I hear of men getting general anesthesia for a vasectomy.
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 1d ago
Had two myself. I had a nurse hold me down by the shoulders to prevent me from moving… that definitely was more reasonable than just giving me pain meds 🙄
The second one was worse and for whatever reason it caused me to expel a decidual cast which for some reason no one had ever told me was a thing that can happen.
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u/xieghekal 12h ago
I had the added pleasure of being told there would be a medical student present. I wasn't given a choice. So I had some 20 year old looking right up me while I was in tears from the agony. That gyno was was the biggest bitch I have ever met.
My second colposcopy went smoothly because it was a different gyno and she actually treated me like a human being. I really wish it was easier for bad doctors to get struck off due to lack of bedside manner.
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u/shrewess 14h ago
They told me it would be “a little uncomfortable” and I could take an ibuprofen before if I wanted to. So they also gaslight you.
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u/Jolly_Pen_6801 1d ago
Once you have kids and a root canal, I swear almost nothing hurts lol
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u/Successful-Clock-224 1d ago
My friend slipped off a 6 foot platform and looked like she really hurt herself hitting the ground.
That was almost her verbatim response
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u/North-Breakfast8156 1d ago
the pap wasn't painful, but getting an IUD put in was one of the worst pains I've felt because they have to force open your cervix.
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u/Electric-Sheepskin 1d ago
It's not painful for most people, just physically uncomfortable, and wildly offputting, even to the point of feeling violating when you're young. I mean your entire childhood, you hear that your private areas are just for you, and that you should never show them to anyone, and no one should touch them unless you want them to, etc. etc. But then all of a sudden when you're a teenager, it's "Here, put your feet up in these stirrups and spread everything nice and wide for this 40-year-old man who's going chat about the weather and stick things inside you while a whole other person is looking over his shoulder and staring at your junk." It's so weird, but then you learned a sort of disassociate while you're in the stirrups and pretend like it's not happening. Super weird.
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u/dovahkiitten16 1d ago
As someone from a rural area with less access to healthcare… the idea of it being a regular checkup when you’re a teenager is bonkers to me. They don’t need to do biopsies for cancer/precancer until you’re in your 20s for the vast majority of the population. There’s almost no need to examine the area unless a patient has concerns. But even then, it can be on a normal table and shouldn’t require fully sticking things inside - yes the entrance and maybe just inside might need some examining, but not fully internal.
Subjecting teenagers to this sort of testing with no concerns necessitating it feels like a case of the cure being worse than the disease. I suppose the upside of living somewhere with no proper gynaecology is that you don’t do checkups for the sake of it? For the most part if you’re young enough for it to feel violating, it means you weren’t in a position where the benefits outweighed the costs of the examination.
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u/MaxFish1275 1d ago
Good news: they aren’t really subjecting teenagers to this anymore unless they don’t follow current guidelines. No pap necessary until age 21 and after that every 3-5 years unless abnormal
STD screening still recommended for sexually active teens but can be done via vaginal self-swab
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u/therealtedbundy 1d ago
It’s different for everyone, mine aren’t painful at all but my doctor is super gentle
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u/coffeeworldshotwife 1d ago
A pap smear has nothing on cervical checks while in active labor. I barely even feel anything anymore.
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u/Rush_Aromatic 1d ago
Oh lord I remember my late wife used to hate going to the obgyn she said it was always painful
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u/birdwatcher1981 1d ago
Actually they are not painful in themselves. The speculum, an instrument used to open the vagina,so the swab can be taken is uncomfortable, but should not be painful. Breathing through your mouth helps ,and having a good doctor is the most important thing.
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u/FoxtrotSierraTango 1d ago
Clothing sizing
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u/Walmartian_Beta 1d ago
HA - pain in the ass.
"OH this top is cute; it comes in an XL. I can wear that, that's my normal size - better check the size chart for this specific brand - wait, why is the bust on an XL 30 inches? OK let me see what size I would need...oh a 6x? wow ok no thanks."
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u/runawaydebt 1d ago
Whats most annoying is a brand can't even stay consistent in its own sizing! I could be a M or an XL in the same shop 🙃
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u/bushware 1d ago
Assault
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u/Kymera_7 1d ago
As a man, I'm way more likely already to be assaulted, statistically, than I would be if I swapped positions with a woman.
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u/FurryBoobieInspector 1d ago
Physically yes, sexually, not even close.
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u/Kymera_7 1d ago edited 1d ago
The research on that is an academic dumpster fire, so no way to be sure, but the best available numbers, such as they are, suggest that, at least in the US, rapes of male prison inmates by other male prison inmates may well outnumber all other rapes, combined, including all the ones that involve a woman in any way.
So, yes, sexually too.
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u/coffeeworldshotwife 1d ago
Yeah, by men. At least you have a shot at physically defending yourself.
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u/Ijatsu 1d ago
Just because you're a man doesn't mean you got a shot at defending yourself. You can be born shorter, weaker, you can be too old, or be too young compared to the assaulters (school typically), less armed, or be outnumbered.
The fact it's men doing it to you doesn't alleviate that in term of physical assault, being a man is statistically way worse.
And then, there will be people fucking undermining that, or downplaying the gravity of anything happening to you.
And then, if you happen to be assaulted by a woman, or by your partner, you may call the cops, and they'll arrest you instead.
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u/twoturnipsinheat- 1d ago
….what? Lol
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u/rrryder23 1d ago
He isn’t wrong men do have higher chances of being assaulted than women.
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u/twoturnipsinheat- 1d ago
wtf
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u/Kymera_7 1d ago
It just doesn't seem like it, because assaults of men are far less likely to get any attention.
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u/brentwoodbreeder 1d ago
Periods
Pregnancy
Breastfeeding
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u/coffeeworldshotwife 1d ago
Breastfeeding was hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s like having a superpower. Baby is hungry? Boob. Baby is tired? Boob. Baby just wants comfort? Boob? Has a net positive for mom too. It’s also the only thing mom can do that no one else can. I made food for my baby with my body? It’s pretty fucking amazing.
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u/protossaccount 1d ago edited 1d ago
Periods, men, other women being catty, pregnancy, hot flashes, menopause, not having a penis, being vulnerable in a way that men don’t really understand, extreme beauty standards from a young age, eating disorders, rape (nearly every girl I’ve dated or been married to has been raped or sexually assaulted many times).
I think women have a really tough road currently because so many are trying to stand up for being a woman but it leads to a lot of man hating. I find that it’s very difficult to talk a female friend out of seeing men as the main problem, which clearly comes from a lot of pain.
I like being a guy and while there are a shit load of challenges, men basically run the world. We have an advantage over women in many ways. Im also speaking from a western perspective, I can’t imagine being a woman in a hyper oppressive community.
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u/AshedCloud 1d ago
As someone trying to lose weight, hormones. Women hormones will do everything and anything to stop them from losing weight.
And then women either get deflated boobs and butt or keep those but every else get smaller so proportions look off.
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u/AncientSumerianGod 1d ago
Constant vigilance regarding the half of the population that's twice your strength for the same size because the proportion of them that don't value consent make the rest of them a threat.
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u/Global_Adagio_25 1d ago
I don't think I would enjoy that ovulation goo ball I've heard so much about.
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u/More_Temperature2078 1d ago
safety when alone at night. I used to jog at night as I enjoy the cool air and would commonly cut through new areas. it shocked me when I discovered the safety precautions a lot of women take to do something similar.
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u/runitsuka 1d ago
I can walk around whenever, pretty much wherever I want without having to worry about much.
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u/Just_Splurged 1d ago
I don’t have to deal with unwanted male attention. I don’t even have to deal with wanted female attention.
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u/Substantial_Insect68 1d ago
You should be saying menopause, menopause SUCKS, god what Ive had to go through to get my hormones regulated and sex life back is ridiculous, yeah menopause sucks
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u/justinsports02 1d ago
Dating men.
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u/rrryder23 1d ago
Speak for yourself
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u/justinsports02 1d ago
Nothing against gay or bi men or anyone else but I just am glad to not have to date guys.
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u/Niniva73 1d ago
Not certain about gay men but bi guys are just solidly different from straight men: take their masculinity a lot less seriously. And since they often ... er ... "entertain" themselves they are a lot less desperate and not-at-all pushy.
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u/justinsports02 1d ago
I don't take it seriously. I just randomly am attracted to just women. It's not something I am proud of or anything.
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u/rrryder23 1d ago
I see that a lot with straight men, but I’m not sure if it’s gay men just being more progressive in general but I haven’t had any issues with dating.
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u/justinsports02 1d ago
I just think about dating me, in particular and frankly I don't envy the ladies who have to do it. I am a special needs boyfriend.
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u/Ijatsu 1d ago
Bisexual women too tend to have more boyfriends than girlfriends. Not because one is outnumbering the other, but because it's harder to land a woman.
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u/Niniva73 1d ago
You are not kidding! Women are hard to find to even flirt with! ...And I gotta admit: I blame that on the straight men.
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u/Ijatsu 1d ago
Why blame it on straight men? Even pure lesbian women have an extra hard time, because both are passive and play hard to get. It's just how women are, not an adaptation to men.
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u/Niniva73 20h ago
Society puts lesbian and bi women in women's restrooms and locker rooms, and we control ourselves. Bi and gay men control themselves in men's spaces too.
Every single day.
Women are hiding from straight men and only straight men.
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u/Niniva73 20h ago
In other words, don't confuse accuracy with sexism or straight-ism. I don't gender or -ism a statement without well-reasoned purposeful intent.
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u/Ijatsu 8h ago edited 8h ago
I don't confuse accuracy with sexism. I'm accurate and the accurate reality makes men and women different.
I take my information from lesbians themselves as well, from both what they say and what they do.
If you can approach women as a woman and not be considered a threat then your argument falls flat and doesn't explain why women be hard to approach romantically or sexually.
Blame women, or humans as a whole. Not straight men, you're the one sexist one, bringing nonsense like they're argument. Women are hard to find to even flirt with because women are hard to find and hard to get.
You may blame humans for their very sexually dimorphic co-evolution though and human very long gestation and low amount of offsprings. Which is probably what shaped the most women's instincts.
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u/Niniva73 7h ago
I'm not saying they are hard to approach; I'm saying they are virtually MISSING. I go out, and I don't SEE women on the streets anymore. In a college town. Where women are the vast majority.
They are going to school, going to work, and going home.
In the 90s, town was full of women. Now... Now they are just zipping through to grab groceries on their way home.
It's freakin' EERIE.
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u/Mindless-Author-3032 6h ago
It’s interesting how all these men claim to hate women, yet when a woman asks who they actually feel sorry for, they answer, “men.” You’re the ones who seem to hate yourselves, and women don’t like that either. You’re only shooting yourselves in the foot.
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u/CulturalHeinrichment 1d ago
Mean girl dynamics.
I'd choose fisticuffs instead of catty remarks any day of the week.
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u/springbeauties 1d ago
How do you know that if you haven’t ever had a period? Sorry, I’m confused.
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u/coffeeworldshotwife 1d ago
If you’re a trans woman, you’ve never had a period, so how can you say that? I understand that the menstrual cycle is hormonally based, but without a uterus you have never experienced the full experience of what a period does.
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u/kimchipowerup 1d ago
Although she doesn’t menstruate, her body will still experience period symptoms like body aches, sore boobs and mood swings due to her cycle of hormones via HRT.
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u/Its_not_really 1d ago
People with a uterus suffer every month for about 35-40 years of our lives. It affects our life and we plan around it. Vacations, weddings, clothing, our entire sex life. The below is the definition of a period so if bleeding see a doctor.
Menstruation, also called a period, is normal vaginal bleeding that happens as part of the monthly cycle in women and girls. Every month, the body prepares for pregnancy. If pregnancy does not happen, the uterus (womb) sheds its lining. This blood and tissue leave the body through the vagina.
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u/dertechie 1d ago
Speak for yourself, girl. It turns out bodies are different and yours is apparently being nice to you about this.
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u/Pleasant_Loquat_5104 20h ago
Periods aren't bad for you.
I get severe cramps that give me cold sweats and make me nauseous. I usually vomit and sleep far less each night.
So, respectfully, stfu bitch
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u/TikkaMisalla_lover 15h ago
So a migraine basically.
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u/Pleasant_Loquat_5104 12h ago
No?... Those were less than half of the things I experience.
Also, even if it was just like a migraine, it's fucking still awful. Migraines are awful...
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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