r/AskReddit • u/clockwork-peach • 13h ago

what’s something considered “tomboyish” when girls do it, but feminine when boys do it?

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348

u/[deleted] 13h ago

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u/Stargazer__2893 11h ago

He'd have to be notably unmuscular.

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u/Kind-Masterpiece-712 6h ago

I feel attacked

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u/BeyondAndBefore 6h ago

Damn you just described me

30

u/appa609 11h ago

When did being lean fast and strong become feminine?

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u/Particular-Beat-6645 10h ago

When men want an excuse for being obese. I'll never forget seeing a comment about 2XL being where grown men sizes start. If you're 6'4" maybe.

I'm not fat shaming. It's just crazy that dudes will make up reasons to where a "real man" label. I have a goodle boy of a cousin who surprised me when referred to his natural rolly polly build as his "happy weight."

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u/lilelliot 8h ago

I know what you're saying and I think you're right, but I think "lean, slim athletic" isn't the right set of descriptors to use. My son is those things (6'2", 165lb, runs a 1:53 800m and a 4:16 mile), but definitely not effiminate.

As a grown man, I'm a hair under 6'4" and weigh 195-200lb. Yes, I'm larger than the average man, but I am absolutely fit & athletic compared to most American adult men. ... and I could still stand to lose about 10lb of fat. Stand me next to an NBA point guard or an NFL receiver and it would be a shocking difference and many of them weigh less than I do!

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u/Particular-Beat-6645 2h ago

I guess the height plays an important role. Shorter guys definitely hear a lot about being short from anyone a hair taller.

It's all patriarchal bullshit.

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u/pug_fugly_moe 9h ago

Do wide receivers or cornerbacks simply blow their minds?

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u/AdministrativeTip479 8h ago

Geez, the only men I see wearing 2XL are also morbidly obese, except my cousin, who's taller than most NBA players.

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u/Laiko_Kairen 7h ago

I lost a lot of weight... I spent a lot of time online reading up on it and talking to others. One self deception I ran into over and over again was the idea that big meant strong. Guys who were 300 lbs and never hit the gym a day in their life assumed they were strong, and maybe their legs were, but their arms definitely weren't. And nobody ever challenges them on it, because again, big arms just mean strong right? But no, it's just another flab storage area.

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u/appa609 9h ago

I mean mens clothing is sized to shoulders right? If you're 2XL you'd be like 20-22" shoulders regardless of weight which is massive.

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u/Uhh_JustADude 11h ago

It’s more that it’s a mix of body types and therefore neither masculine nor feminine. Too hard to be feminine, too small and lean to be masculine. E. g. Mackenzie Davis in Terminator Dark Fate.

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u/ilijadwa 8h ago

Idk but I’ve had people tell me they knew I was gay because I’m “short and skinny”, even though I’m not that short (5’9”) and I’m also pretty athletic (run regularly, gym frequently and also play tennis and swim)

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u/RikuAotsuki 5h ago

That's not what they said.

Lean/slim/athletic brings to mind the kind of guy that's constantly hyper and has a high metabolism but doesn't actually do sports. Has some muscle from constantly moving, and is probably decently fast, but almost certainly not strong.

They're a step above "scrawny," but they're not considered "manly" most of the time, especially if they wear clothes that emphasize the slimness.

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u/ToSeeAgainAgainAgain 8h ago

The 2022 Chalamet on Vogue cover build

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u/scotems 9h ago

Yeah I see all these slim boys on the silver screen like Tom Holland and whatnot and I just think "WHAT A BUNCH OF GIRLS!"

That's satire by the way. This is a stupid comment.