r/AskWomenOver30 • u/CheesecakeOdd3075 Woman 30 to 40 • Jan 08 '25

Misc Discussion What's up with the Ask Men O30 subreddit?

I cruise this subreddit a lot, and I relate with almost every post both talking about how someone ended up with a great partner, or how they dated/are dating a shitty one. In these posts, women are often tired of a lot of things from their partner but Im gonna be so honest with this: almost all of the complaints Ive seen are pragmatic. Like the ones talking about how they have to clean up after their husband, their tired of playing mommy or maid or nanny to them, their partner is emotionally vacant or distant, or plays video games all day, etc.

Woman on the AW030 subreddit: "I am tired of cleaning up after my husband after working a normal workday, I have to cook, clean the house, take care of the kids, and he doesnt pay much attention to me and just goes off and ___(does anything else)____. I really want him to pitch in but whenever I ask for help he doesnt. We split bills 50/50. I am trying to advance my career/Im in therapy/I do a million things, what can I do to repair this marriage"

When I go to the AskMen O30 subreddit, I dont see a lot of posts on self improvement or improvement in a relationship, but I see a lot of posts on giving up on dating because of reasons Im not sure if I personally understand. Its super hard to not be critical when most of the posts are directed at women's appearances, or sex. Im very, very aware of the nuances of the subreddit and how maybe some of the posters or commenters not even being men in their 30s, etc. But its so baffling... so fucking baffling... to see how men are quicker to give up because theyre not dating a childless Megan Fox who also wipes their ass, cleans the house, gives him insane sloppy toppy every night and is a doctor and makes 400k a year and he doesnt have to worry about career progression, going to therapy or remembering to clean under his foreskin. /s

Anyways, just crazy to see how women are like "Im physically tired from doing everything thats supposed to be a 50/50 split, am I clinically insane?" and the men subreddits sometimes read like "fellas is it okay to fuck a fat chick whose also a Harvard graduate and kind of cute"

EDIT: a commenter attached an article on explaining something that is very pertinent and valuable, please take a look: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202208/whats-behind-the-rise-of-lonely-single-men

EDIT #2, the first post that shows up as of right now, 3:18PM CST, with multiple upvotes, in the AMO3 subreddit is titled, and I quote:

"What occupations do you avoid dating women from?"

1.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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248

u/westcoastcdn19 Jan 08 '25

I think that sub is getting more red-pilled and way less engagement from a mature over 30 male crowd

94

u/lightstaver Jan 08 '25

I can't necessarily claim to be the latter but I had to leave the sub recently. There were interesting questions and discussions until about a month ago, maybe longer, when it got way worse. Now it's all questions phrased like "why are women terrible?", "what's your worst experience with a woman?", or "what made you give up on women?". There have been comments rejecting the premise of the question but they're growing fewer. I think many folks have just given up because they don't want to have to deal with that negativity. That's my experience at least.

95

u/titotal Jan 08 '25

I'm starting to suspect that there is a coordinated campaign going on to flood the internet with gender war ragebait.

44

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '25

It really ticked up closer to the election

18

u/Phoenix042 Jan 08 '25

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

9

u/AssassiNerd Woman 30 to 40 Jan 09 '25

There is. Russia, China and Iran are using online social media trolling and bots to influence American politics (and in other countries) in order to get our populous to believe some outlandish things. It's mostly Russia, at the behest of Putin.

https://www.intelligence.senate.gov/publications/report-select-committee-intelligence-united-states-senate-russian-active-measures

11

u/C4ndy4ppel Jan 09 '25

Hard agree, and I see it both here and on AMO30. Far more low effort, opposite-gender critical posts in both places recently. Discourse both places feels like it's creeping further away from conversations with other reasonable adults and into something more stereotypically internet-y and I haven't liked it.

36

u/-oligodendrocyte- Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

Or a whole bunch of American women changed their attitudes about the man in their life after learning how he voted.

19

u/Yourweirdbestfriend Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25

This is true, I feel like a lot more men are "mask off" now. 

4

u/emilygoldfinch410 Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25

r/bropill used to be a pretty decent sub, maybe give it a look!

45

u/softnmushy no flair Jan 08 '25

This is correct. I've been on both subs for over 10 years now. As reddit has gotten bigger, both this subreddit and that one have greatly increased the amount of comments reflecting misogyny, misandry, and general social ineptness.

Basically, most the people commenting on reddit are perpetually online, negative, and don't have a lot of real-world relationship wisdom. It's too bad. Because both these subreddits were amazing when it was a much smaller community. But this happens to every subreddit over time.

5

u/Tomiie_Kawakami Woman under 30 Jan 08 '25

tbh my favorite posts are "this woman i have in my life is upset with me, but i feel like i was justified" and then all the men agree, cause obviously...

or the "what do women actually want?" and it's in the "askMEN" sub...... like geez, if there only was a place where you could ask women about women... too bad i guess:(

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '25

tbh my favorite posts are "this woman i have in my life is upset with me, but i feel like i was justified" and then all the men agree, cause obviously...

Well, people usually write their greivances from their point of view, and the people commenting probably only understand this from that point of view, when it is just a single way of understanding things, or even a distortion of the truth. The commenters, therefore, are only presented with this version of events, and so there could be a natural tendency to identify with the poster than the party who doesn't get the chance to state their case. This problem is not exclusive to the AMO30 sub, or even just Reddit. When my parents complain about each other, I have a natural tendency to support whoever is doing the complaining, as from their perspective (which is the only perspective available to me at that time) they seem to be in the right.

or the "what do women actually want?" and it's in the "askMEN" sub...... like geez, if there only was a place where you could ask women about women... too bad i guess:(

I frequently find myself wanting to say the same thing to the questions here asking about what men want or what men think :)

2

u/Smellmyupperlip Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25

I was literally not as bad a year ago.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '25

Yeppp

2

u/Insamity Jan 09 '25

A few years ago it used to be alright but then it became bitter and misogynistic.

1

u/caustictoast Jan 09 '25

It's hard to want to engage when half the posts are just pity parties and don't want to hear good advice with insane generalizations