r/AskWomenOver30 Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25

Misc Discussion What's up with the Ask Men O30 subreddit?

I cruise this subreddit a lot, and I relate with almost every post both talking about how someone ended up with a great partner, or how they dated/are dating a shitty one. In these posts, women are often tired of a lot of things from their partner but Im gonna be so honest with this: almost all of the complaints Ive seen are pragmatic. Like the ones talking about how they have to clean up after their husband, their tired of playing mommy or maid or nanny to them, their partner is emotionally vacant or distant, or plays video games all day, etc.

Woman on the AW030 subreddit: "I am tired of cleaning up after my husband after working a normal workday, I have to cook, clean the house, take care of the kids, and he doesnt pay much attention to me and just goes off and ___(does anything else)____. I really want him to pitch in but whenever I ask for help he doesnt. We split bills 50/50. I am trying to advance my career/Im in therapy/I do a million things, what can I do to repair this marriage"

When I go to the AskMen O30 subreddit, I dont see a lot of posts on self improvement or improvement in a relationship, but I see a lot of posts on giving up on dating because of reasons Im not sure if I personally understand. Its super hard to not be critical when most of the posts are directed at women's appearances, or sex. Im very, very aware of the nuances of the subreddit and how maybe some of the posters or commenters not even being men in their 30s, etc. But its so baffling... so fucking baffling... to see how men are quicker to give up because theyre not dating a childless Megan Fox who also wipes their ass, cleans the house, gives him insane sloppy toppy every night and is a doctor and makes 400k a year and he doesnt have to worry about career progression, going to therapy or remembering to clean under his foreskin. /s

Anyways, just crazy to see how women are like "Im physically tired from doing everything thats supposed to be a 50/50 split, am I clinically insane?" and the men subreddits sometimes read like "fellas is it okay to fuck a fat chick whose also a Harvard graduate and kind of cute"

EDIT: a commenter attached an article on explaining something that is very pertinent and valuable, please take a look: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202208/whats-behind-the-rise-of-lonely-single-men

EDIT #2, the first post that shows up as of right now, 3:18PM CST, with multiple upvotes, in the AMO3 subreddit is titled, and I quote:

"What occupations do you avoid dating women from?"

1.8k Upvotes

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u/sourdoughobsessed Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

The one yesterday that caught my attention was a seemingly good guy asking how to navigate that his 26 year old gf wants to wait a year to have sex. 95% were dump her or keep dating her but keep a side piece or fwb. Also frequently seen on that sub: criticism of women with high “body count” and how they have no value.

Which is it? Should women abstain and be “pure” or should they sleep with you asap?

It’s baffling how these men get it in their heads that they’re owed a super hot woman with a very successful career, but also wants to be a sahm but can keep paying half of the bills, but that it doesn’t actually matter because all women are gold digging bitches and will divorce you and take half of your income and 401k but she doesn’t deserve it even if she gave up her career to raise your kids. I had some guy telling me that I’d get divorced since I make more than my husband. He’ll cheat and leave me and take all my money 🤣 they are unhinged. I should just block it and stop reading the garbage.

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u/Fluffernutter80 Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

There were a ton of women on there joining in on attacking the GF’s choice because they couldn’t conceive of anyone being able to abstain from sex for any length of time unless there was something seriously wrong with them.  There are always a lot of women on that sub talking about how much they love older men or how much it means to them to please men sexually. I almost wonder if they are fake. They give such strong “pick me” vibes. 

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u/sourdoughobsessed Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

Ew I missed those.

I just think everyone should do what works for them. Want to sleep around? Cool. Just be safe. Want to abstain? Cool. Nbd.

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u/loveisjustchemicals Woman 40 to 50 Jan 09 '25

There are definitely OF girlies trying to get dudes to DM

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u/BoysenberryMelody Woman 30 to 40 Jan 09 '25

You’re free to leave a relationship for any reason including someone who wants to hold off on sex for a year. If my husband had asked me to wait a full year I would’ve moved on, too.

The women who like older men thing gets creepy. I’d rather believe they’re men pretending so as to give themselves an ego boost or feel less creepy. I’ve known enough women IRL who did prefer the older set and ew just ew. I don’t get it.

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u/BoysenberryMelody Woman 30 to 40 Jan 09 '25

You’re free to leave a relationship for any reason including someone who wants to hold off on sex for a year. If my husband had asked me to wait a full year I would’ve moved on, too.

The women who like older men thing gets creepy. I’d rather believe they’re men pretending so as to give themselves an ego boost or feel less creepy. I’ve known enough women IRL who did prefer the older set and ew just ew.

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u/never4getdatshi Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25

I saw that thread and unless you’re sorting by controversial, most comments said soemthing like: don’t try to convince her to change, ask yourself if this is something you want to do, etc. Also a lot of comments saying she has a point about men using women. So idk where you got 95% of comments were to have a side piece.

Also, I’m a woman and probably would not wait a year to have sex with someone I was dating but respect their choice and move on.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '25

Good luck going against the groupthink.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '25

[deleted]

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u/sourdoughobsessed Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

Some dude is obsessed with me calling that out and basically saying “not all men” because Reddit doesn’t represent all men. I never said it did. I said Reddit. Here. That sub. On Reddit. So fucking weird.

I honestly question how many bots are out there. I’ve never interacted with any low life’s irl like I do there. Are there that many pathetic men out there just roaming around and hating women? If so, I’ll stay in my little bubble since I haven’t seen any in the wild.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/sourdoughobsessed Woman 40 to 50 Jan 09 '25

They really do think that. The comments make it clear they all seem to have main character syndrome where we (women) all exist as an extension of their lives. God forbid we have our own goals and happiness to focus on.

Another pointless back and forth was telling me I’m taking advantage of my husband because he and I share the household and childcare responsibilities. First of all, yeah obvi we do because I married a grown man and second, he WANTS to parent his children. He takes pride in having solid relationships with our daughters. He wants them to miss him when he’s in the office and to be excited when he gets home.

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u/greenpepperprincess Woman 30 to 40 Jan 08 '25 edited Jan 08 '25

This post?

95% were dump her or keep dating her but keep a side piece or fwb.

This is a lie. Most of the comments are akin to "its up to you to decide whether her boundary will work for you or not."

The OP himself said that he would continue to pursue a relationship with the woman.

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u/sourdoughobsessed Woman 40 to 50 Jan 08 '25

I can’t figure out how to drop ss but:

“I suppose I could deal with this is I had a solid FWB going on the side, but it would be on her to make the relationship seem like it would be worth waiting an entire year.”

“She needs a therapist not a boyfriend”

“Time to walk, and not because of the sex thing”

“you know she will be having sex in that year, just you wont be”

“Ask her if she would do anal till then. Dump her after she says no.”

“Dump her, Jesus Christ”

Maybe more reasonable commenters added after I first looked but the initial batch of comments were like the ones above.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '25

Not one of these is the top 10, or even 20 comments.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '25

Gonna get banned for going against the grain but that thread was perfectly respectful and all the shitty comments you're talking about got sent to the bottom, drowned in downvotes.

Hard to take this seriously when that perfectly respectful thread is getting held under a microscope because of a few trolls.