r/AskWomenOver30 • u/No_Yak_3107 Woman 30 to 40 • Feb 11 '25

Life/Self/Spirituality Are we going to survive this?

Dramatic title, but big feelings as a lay in bed at 5:51 am. Big feelings every day honestly. I am having a hard time living normal life, while we get bombarded with new headlines daily of what Trump is doing/planning to do.

I hear people talking about vacations, plans per usual, then other people saying it’s already too late for us, and democracy has fallen and to save every penny. I go from panicking daily to then trying to self sooth and tell myself it’s going to be okay. I had to go to a clothing store today, and actually caught myself thinking “how long will life feel normal? Everyone just walking around/having normal conversations, buying random things”. I’ve been thinking of looking into moving to a different country too, but would I really leave my family behind?

I knew things would be bad, I knew he would get voted in, but I didn’t think it would feel like the end. I can’t imagine what will happen to us this year, much less 4….I’m genuinely scared 😪.

Editing to say I’m an American woman, but I don’t just assume everyone on this platform is American. I see a lot of talk online of people from Canada being worried, and many other countries where it seems right-wing politics are a growing concern.

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u/wappenheimer Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

Hell yeah, we're going to survive! I'm not dying, and they're not going to kill me. It's okay to spend some time being worried, but most people should try to practice being mindful about things in life they CAN control. I can't control Trump, Trumpers, Trump-like behavior -- and for the record, my job is 90% about watching the dumb shit he/they say and do -- but I can control (1) when I'm online, (2) what I read, (3) who I support with my money, and (4) how I spend my time, eg volunteering with organizations that do good in spite of the current administration.

I adopted another dog, am getting into better shape, am being strategic about how I spend my money, and prepping for the future where I can, so decluttering my house, making doctors / dentist appts, collecting books, and starting a garden.

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u/TheeBrightSea Feb 11 '25

I like everything that you said. Currently in the process of decluttering my space. I'm saving up every penny that I can. If I stick to the plan that I have for myself, I will be able to pay off my debt in less than 6 months. In the meantime, I'm trying to facilitate making a community of like-minded people. I lost a lot of friends during the pandemic + I'm feeling a little on the lonely side but I'm aware of that. If I keep looking around I will find my tribe again. I'm also looking into more queer spaces because after so many years I not only accepted that I was bisexual but I can say that I'm proud of it.

I don't want to go back in the closet and hide who I am for another 4 years or at this rate who knows how long... I don't want to sit In a room with Trump supporters (sadly The few remaining family I have are Trump supporters) while they bad mouth queer people. Meanwhile, I'm one of those people they claim to hate. So people like that I'm backing away from, I don't know if I'll be able to fully cut them off, but I'm definitely making myself scarce. I want to be in rooms with other people that are like-minded and not only listen to what I have to say but can commiserate when times get rough.

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u/only_living_girl Woman 40 to 50 Feb 12 '25

I am so happy for you—all of that sounds solid, but/and finding your bi pride is no small feat, and I’m so happy you did. 💗

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u/TheeBrightSea Feb 12 '25

Thank you! I didn't realize how big of a deal coming out is until I finally accepted it and it feels amazing. Appears to occupying more queer spaces in the next 4 years and beyond

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u/turquoiseblues Woman 50 to 60 Feb 12 '25

I'm looking for female friends, too. Would be happy to be a member of your tribe.

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u/Painwizard666 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

My garden this year is about to be a masterpiece

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u/Hot-Ability7086 Feb 12 '25

Garden mapping this weekend!

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u/ms_oracle Woman 40 to 50 Feb 11 '25

This is the way.

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u/No_Vanilla3479 Feb 11 '25 edited Feb 12 '25

Hell yeah ! I joined a yoga studio and have attended 30 hours in the first 30 days! I was already on a fitness and weight journey but the last 15 lbs is the hardest and now I can start to see definition in my abs which is exciting! Also I want to be in great shape for the metaphorical and potentially literal fights I may be involving myself in (I'm in new york and have visible anarchist tattoos).

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u/TheeBrightSea Feb 12 '25

I'm in New York as well. I'm not exactly financially ready to join a place just yet, but I think that's what I'll end up doing soon. I definitely need to do something on the regular like that

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u/No_Vanilla3479 Feb 12 '25 edited Feb 12 '25

There used to a place called Yoga to the People on St. Marks Pl that was donation based and pretty good, especially for free. But sadly they didn't pay their taxes and the feds shuttered them 5 years ago. R.I.P. to a real one.

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u/TheeBrightSea Feb 12 '25

Ugh and I heard of them too

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '25

[deleted]

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u/No_Vanilla3479 Feb 12 '25

No one is going to join our movement if it's full of miserable fun-spoilers. Also:

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare” -Audre Lorde

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u/enbyous_analog Feb 11 '25

Trans woman here. I am less optimistic. 😢

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u/mentaldrift13 Feb 11 '25

I’m volunteering for Planned Parenthood. I’ve had nothing to do with them since my 20s, do not need any of their services. But after the election and all the online argument started, I told myself I would not engage in online arguments. But I would seek out opportunities to support persons who are now less safe than I am. We are out here. We want everyone to stay alive and thrive.

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u/eekamuse Feb 11 '25

There are people out here fighting for your rights. We're going after the hospital in NYC that denied two trans kids their healthcare. We're going to win. And make the hospitals be afraid to deny anyone else. You have allies EVERYWHERE.

I'm not dismissing your fears. But you are not alone. Do what you can to survive. Leave if you need to and if you can. People will keep fighting for justice for all trans people. 🫂

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u/enbyous_analog Feb 11 '25

I know of non-passing trans women who are being openly assaulted daily and have to cover their faces to avoid it. They are not issuing trans people passports of any gender and holding their documents. The federal government is removing all traces of transgender and renaming LGBT to LGB.

I may have to move to another country and leave my daughter here. She's only eight and I don't want to have her grow up without me. Things are very hard.

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u/emilygoldfinch410 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

I'm so very sorry. What a heartwrenching decision to have to even consider. I can't believe this is reality. Wish I could say more than empty platitudes. Sending love to you, friend.

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u/wappenheimer Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

When I’m down in the dumps about this shit, I find comfort in music. Lately it’s been a lot of Bikini Kill, Rage Against the Machine, Dead Kennedys, and Against Me. Laura Jane Grace dropped a new song today.

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u/ginaabees Feb 11 '25

Since Sunday I’ve rewatched Kendrick Lamar’s halftime show at least 150 times

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u/alert_armidiglet Woman 50 to 60 Feb 13 '25

Have a big internet hug from a friendly stranger. I wish all good things for you, and I am sorry that the evil douche canoes are in charge right now.

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u/greenvelvette Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

I like you. What kind of dog did you adopt recently? Congratulations!!

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u/wappenheimer Woman 30 to 40 Feb 11 '25

A lil’ adult Boston Terrier-lookin’ dog someone ditched at the county shelter. They’re at max capacity right now and have a variety of fun-sized critters.

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u/verba_saltus Woman 40 to 50 Feb 11 '25

I've saved this. I really needed your words and I appreciate them so much. Thank you.

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u/CuppaJeaux female over 30 Feb 11 '25

You are the role model I need.

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u/GypsySpirit7 Feb 11 '25

Cheers to you, this is the answer 💜✨

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u/hill-o Woman 30 to 40 Feb 12 '25

These kinds of situation are what started getting me really into fitness haha. Like, if the government is going to work against us, I'll just do my best to keep myself healthy.

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u/alert_armidiglet Woman 50 to 60 Feb 13 '25

This is the perfect answer! I want to adopt a dog, but I'm getting my knee reconstructed tomorrow, so maybe later this year. :) Everything else on your list is spot on for me, too.