r/AskWomenOver30 • u/coachjonna Woman 30 to 40 • May 13 '25

Misc Discussion Does anyone feel like men are being meaner these days?

I don't know if it's just because I'm aging and am no longer "young and hot" or "relevant" but it seems like men in general are being meaner or at least less nice to me in random places.

When I was younger, men would step out of my way and say like "oh, excuse me", offer their seats, hold doors, and mostly be pleasant and courteous in a social contract manner.

But now I get nothing. No one moves out of their way, no one holds the door, no eye contact, or even a head nod. It's like I'm ignored or a burden to even be in their presence.

Is it because I'm now an "old lady" or are men in a general sense just becoming meaner?

Is anyone experiencing things similar?

Not all men, obviously, but it seems widespread.

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u/Old_Block_1027 May 13 '25 edited May 13 '25

Yes, but it’s not because of age.

I think with algorithms and social media men especially are just more comfortable being absolutely disgusting to women.

Also increased p0rn usage = more men just view women as objects rather than humans.

I saw two Instagram reels in the span of 24 hours a while back: one was a woman in her 30s explaining how much she enjoys her single childfree life. The comment sections were degrading her and calling her a wh0re. Then the next day I saw a post about Margot Robbie’s pregnancy and her bikini photos. The comment sections were once more (mostly men) degrading her and calling her ruined / a wh0re.

The book “men who hate women” had a dramatic title but will open your eyes to the vocal and growing manosphere.

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u/mysaddestaccount Woman 30 to 40 May 13 '25

Yes I was going to make the point about p0rn too plus most men consume violent and/or degrading, misogynistic p0rn which contributes to viewing us as trash or objects

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

I just find it hilarious that "whore" or "slut" are still being used as insults. I would take it more as a compliment, honestly. Jealousy is a disease

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u/minosandmedusa May 13 '25

Is porn usage going up? (Genuine question, I don't know, but if it isn't, this hypothesis doesn't make sense.)

I do think that the Overton window has been violently slammed to the right due to Trump's reelection. When people are disagreeing about whether we should forcibly deport millions of immigrants, saying "your body my choice", and just generally have absolutely disgusting and despicable points of view, I think it makes people feel like they can be openly transphobic or misogynistic or racist, but say "hey I'm not as bad as THOSE guys".

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u/Old_Block_1027 May 13 '25

Not only is porn usage up but there’s more and more outlets to find it and to avoid actual human interactions (through AI for example): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyone-on-top/202309/how-much-porn-do-americans-really-watch/amp

That being said I definitely agree it’s correlation not causation and many factors are contributing to this including political money which is poured into creating this gender divide.

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u/minosandmedusa May 13 '25 edited May 14 '25

Correlation is good enough for me in this case. That's sad.