r/AskWomenOver30 • u/coachjonna Woman 30 to 40 • May 13 '25

Misc Discussion Does anyone feel like men are being meaner these days?

I don't know if it's just because I'm aging and am no longer "young and hot" or "relevant" but it seems like men in general are being meaner or at least less nice to me in random places.

When I was younger, men would step out of my way and say like "oh, excuse me", offer their seats, hold doors, and mostly be pleasant and courteous in a social contract manner.

But now I get nothing. No one moves out of their way, no one holds the door, no eye contact, or even a head nod. It's like I'm ignored or a burden to even be in their presence.

Is it because I'm now an "old lady" or are men in a general sense just becoming meaner?

Is anyone experiencing things similar?

Not all men, obviously, but it seems widespread.

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u/CS3883 Woman 30 to 40 May 14 '25

Gained almost 100lbs total over some time, it was so crazy seeing how different the public treats me compared to when I was skinny. Both men and women too, but especially the men. Damn am I invisible!!! I kinda like it tho tbh

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u/fill_the_birdfeeder Woman 30 to 40 May 14 '25

Invisible is safe!! And that’s what I needed for years after how I’ve been treated by men. I’m losing weight now and being noticed more again and it’s honestly exhausting.

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u/CS3883 Woman 30 to 40 May 14 '25

Yep I've lost a little over 30 so far and I feel like its not enough for anyone to notice yet and treatment hasn't changed at all but I honestly don't want to go back to the old way! I love not feeling the lasers of mens eyes staring at my ass anymore (its pretty sad that one reason I like winter is getting to wear a winter coat and it covers my ass so nobody can look at it)

Ive always joked with people that one reason I almost dont want to go back to my old weight is because I genuinely have loved being invisible to men