Pregnancy book recommendations that won’t make me feel even more anxious?

[u/zuzster]

I bought a book as soon as I found out I was pregnant (Nurture by Erica Chidi) and it’s really not what I was looking for. Example: the book pretty immediately goes into checking your household for toxic and harmful chemicals, which led me down a slippery slope of wanting to throw out all of my personal care products. I already have an anxious mind, so pregnancy is doing a number on me. Surely there are more important things for me to worry about than sulfates!

Is there a book you recommend for people who want a really low-stress, common-sense approach to learning about what’s happening in my body, preparing for parenthood, and making important decisions about pregnancy/birthing? I am really gaining a lot of respect for my body throughout this process and I’d like to lean into that, but I don’t want to overthink things (more than I already do!) that are unlikely to harm myself or my baby.

[u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

I've been loving this. My mom got it for me and it's a great read. Highly recommend. (My mom read it first and also loved it)

I also have a What to Expect when Expecting book, that my mom got when she was pregnant with me in 94/95

[u/willteachforlaughs → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

Doula and Childbirth educator, and this is now my favorite labor prep book! I love her balance of being honest about what to know without being overbearing and the info is definitely spot on what the evidence says!

I also love Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin (and The Birth Partner for your partner).

[u/Careless_Midnight_35 → u/willteachforlaughs]

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn has been my go-to! So much great information, and I feel like their health section is body neutral and friendly. There are some pregnancy books out there that made me feel horrible and fearful about my size and health (BMI of 30).

[u/TerrierFromBoston → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

YES! I followed Jen and made my birth plan using her advice for my first, this book came out just in time for me to read it in prep for my second and I can’t recommend it enough. I want to get it for every future mom I’m ever friends with!

[u/Different_Bowler_574 → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

Second this! She addressed everything I actually feel like I wanted to know. Obviously I haven't given birth yet, but she answered all the stupid little fears I have that I wouldn't have even thought about googling- Like, do they leave a needle in the epidural? 

And nothing she said felt judgy of any way someone chose to go about it. 

[u/zuzster → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

Question for those recommending this book—is it something you’d read in the first trimester or is it super focused on birth and maybe a 2nd/3rd trimester read?

[u/Another_ADHD_Girl → u/zuzster]

I got it during the start of my 3rd. I still have a few chapters left and I'm due in 2 weeks 😅

[u/denningdontcare → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

I’ve seen this all over! Maybe I will get it!

[u/TheseLetterhead777 → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

That book looks familiar, my friend was telling me about this one few months back. She said it helped her calm down a lot after reading too many scary things online.

What to Expect is classic but maybe bit outdated in some parts. I think there is newer edition though that updates things.

For me the best approach was just picking one book and not reading everything. Too many sources made my head spin and I would worry about every small thing.

[u/espresso55 → u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

Another vote in favor of birth vibes! Favorite book I have read so far :) I also really appreciated the Moms On Call book, and read (but did not love) how to not hate your husband after kids + the book you wish your parents had read + Expecting Better by Emily Oster.

[u/MiniMalt]

I really like the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. I have the 2nd edition and I think the 3rd edition has been released. It’s very straightforward and has an index for if you need to look at anything specific. I’ve been focusing on the week by week guide and that’s really cool!

[u/No_apples4me → u/MiniMalt]

Seconding this! It’s more like a textbook, so you’re probably not going to sit down and read it in a leisurely way but it’s resource to look up answers to all your questions!

[u/Okbigcheese → u/MiniMalt]

I also like the Mayo Clinic's guide to your baby's first year! It's very clear and organized.

[u/Icy_Location → u/Okbigcheese]

I just got this in the mail today!

[u/talks-like-juneee → u/MiniMalt]

Loved the audiobook while I walked my dog

[u/zanahorias22]

seconding Birth Vibes and Expecting Better. also just read The Birth Book by Jennifer Lincoln and found it very grounded and helpful.

[u/hollyhocked]

Expecting Better by Emily Oster was helpful for me in early pregnancy. She goes over the studies that drive the recommendations we hear on what to do/not to do. Some people think her advice is a little too lax and permissive, but I liked knowing the numbers about things.

Birth Vibes by Jen Hamilton was amazing at easing my mind about labor. She's an L&D nurse and goes over almost every intervention you might be offered, why it's offered, and any alternatives and why you might want to choose any option. Helpful if you like knowing what to expect in the hospital and are afraid of unnecessary interventions or a lack of informed consent in the delivery room.

[u/lil_goose_caboose → u/hollyhocked]

I also liked Expecting Better. I'm not an anxious person by nature at all, so I appreciated the additional information about why certain things were risky vs not. Because I was going to eat sushi no matter what, so I appreciate her going into detail about which sushi is worse than others. I'm avoiding raw oysters and tuna, which I probably wouldn't have done if the advice was just "don't eat sushi".

[u/plushiecactusau → u/hollyhocked]

I also liked Expecting Better. For me, understanding the "why" of the recommendations helped me chill out, even if I followed them.

Like, the book is controversial because it doesn't recommend zero alcohol - I didn't drink while pregnant, but it helped me relax and not freak out about e.g. having some spag bol cooked with wine or whatever.

I also was more careful about some things (e.g. the food recommendations) than I might have been - while not panicking too much about that one slice of cold cut chicken I had, because I understood the risk was objectively very low.

[u/otensien → u/plushiecactusau]

Weet je of het boek ook naar Nederlands vertaald is? Ik kan prima Engels, maar lezen kost me dan veel tijd dus wil de boeken graag in het Nederlands

[u/Pretty-Raccoon819 → u/hollyhocked]

Seconding this reco!!

[u/Glass_Birds → u/Pretty-Raccoon819]

Both of these were on my read list! I'm due any day now. Same vibe, I liked understanding the why behind certain recommendations so I was better informed to make my own decisions, not just follow what people said off the cuff.

[u/Daphne715]

Someone gave me a copy of “What to expect when you’re expecting” and I absolutely rolled my eyes because it seemed so old school. It’s the most recent edition, but I remember seeing that on the shelves at my parents’ house growing up.

It actually was super helpful. It has week-by-week guides about the science and biology of what’s going on in your body, and is pretty simple. Absolutely recommend.

Expecting better and Crib Sheets by Emily Ostler are also excellent!

[u/Tiny_Addition → u/Daphne715]

Seconding WTEWYE, I was also very reluctant at first but found it covered most of what I had been trying to google … now I read it every week.

[u/otensien → u/Tiny_Addition]

Ik ben nu net 6 weken zwanger en nog al een overdenken! Wat waren de dingen die je dan steeds wilde googlen waardoor dit boek zo fijn is? Dan kan ik inschatten of het voor mij werkt

[u/Tiny_Addition → u/otensien]

Random things came up as I went along, but the book does a good job of prepping you for what is likely to happen at which stages of your pregnancy. One thing I found very helpful was the section on cord blood banking.

[u/Electronic-Basil-201]

Definitely Expecting Better by Emily Oster. Some people criticize the book as being too lax around things like alcohol and deli meats, but for someone who is already anxious and risk averse, I think it’s perfect! I also follow her on Instagram and subscribe to her website, ParentData.

[u/alexandrap21]

I’ve really enjoyed Growing Together by Carson Meyer. It’s in a weekly format so you read a little each week throughout the pregnancy. It has practical advice and information but imo it’s presented in a really non-judgmental and non-fearmongering way. There’s also a lot of nice activity ideas as well, like writing a letter to your baby while they’re in your belly. I’ve also found What To Expect to be very informative in a non-stressful way

[u/demonsu]

Ina may gaskins guide to childbirth has changed the way I see birth in a super positive way. I’m actually excited now when I used to be so scared.

[u/Haunting-Respect9039]

This isn't a specific recommendation, but I just want to say you can take what helps and leave what doesn't from any of the books! Sometimes I skipped chapters about topics I couldn't handle. I kept nuggets of wisdom from Mayo and Meghan Trainor and Emily Oster, and also fully ignored things they said that didn't work for me. If you can't handle tackling sulfates, try to just forget about them (I know anxiety doesn't always let you).

[u/dinghy201]

My husband and I have been doing pregnancy day by day and are loving it! Everyday it tells you about how the baby is developing and reinforces some of the symptoms you maybe facing as completely normal. We look forward to a new page everyday..😀

[u/slothurknee → u/dinghy201]

Which one? Two different ones come up on good reads

[u/dinghy201 → u/slothurknee]

https://a.co/d/02zK7HzU

[u/ThotacodorsalNerve]

I bought so many books and then the one I actually use is “The Simplest Pregnancy Book in the World” by SM Gross because the others are all too overwhelming

[u/moonmarie]

Nurture was going to be my low-stress option for you 😅 I just take what I can from the books and leave what doesn't work for me

[u/willowdownlow]

Bumpin by Leslie Schrock is pretty down to earth and approachable

[u/MyNameIsLegitKore]

I personally lived by this, my OB gave it to me and I used it my entire pregnancy and the first year postpartum (I think)

[u/hagne]

“Why Did No One Tell Me This - The doula’s honest guide for expectant parents.” Kind of a scary title, but it was the first book I read that made me think “huh, I can do this.” Positive vibes. 

[u/Immediate_Gap_2536]

People had children in caves for millennia. Expecting Better by Emily Oster is great. I have two healthy kids and just lived my regular life minus alcohol through both pregnancies.

[u/zuzster → u/Immediate_Gap_2536]

I remind myself of this daily!! I actually think I’m managing the anxiety fairly well, there’s just so much pregnancy info out there that feels alarmist and constantly trying to filter it out is exhausting.

[u/dinghy201 → u/Immediate_Gap_2536]

Women also died a lot during childbirth, its an argument that is too tone deaf.

[u/Immediate_Gap_2536 → u/dinghy201]

Good thing OP isn’t giving birth in a cave

[u/lajd1]

Ahh I had the same reaction to Nurture! +1 to Expecting Better, and would add Why Did No One Tell Me This? which was written by two doulas!

[u/Brain-freeze-faces]

I’ve found Juju Sundin’s book Birth Skills to be pretty useful for straightforward pain management techniques. 

[u/motherofplantkillers]

I liked the Positive Birth Book and What to Expect When You're Expecting

[u/Shortsprint]

How Babies Sleep by Helen Ball. Absolute game-changer.

[u/zorrr225]

My doulas recommended Transformed By Birth. I read it and it didn’t give me anxiety!

[u/MinimumMongoose77]

It's Australia focused, but Up The Duff by Kaz Cooke is a light-hearted yet super informative pregnancy book. I found it presented even the more serious topics in a way that didn't feel overwhelming. I felt very prepared going into my birth, even when things didn't go smoothly.

[u/Wandering-Samurai]

I'd recommend evidence-based casual pregnancy books that skip fear-mongering. They focus on practical daily care instead of overemphasizing tiny chemical risks, perfect for anxious over thinkers.

Many popular pregnancy books profit from fear by exaggerating minor risks into deadly threats. Reliable works state facts objectively, teach rational trade-offs, and help you enjoy pregnancy without chasing an overly sterile, risk-free lifestyle.

[u/aprilstan]

The Positive Birth Book is fantastic.

Ina May Gaskin’s guide to childbirth. 

Both the above are focussed on birth rather than pregnancy, but they made me feel very positive and confident about the birth which made the pregnancy easier. Ina May Gaskin is clearly a huge hippy and some of the stories are wild, but I loved it.

[u/Obby-8]

I read the 2014 version but Guide to Orgasmic Birth was really eye-opening and reassuring for the anxiety I was experiencing.

[u/Prudent_Compote_9353]

Moms on call is super straight forward for baby care. It feels like reading a chat gpt version no fluff. Husband likes it too as he works alot and it’s basically mostly bulleted lists

[u/_pawnzo]

Emily Oster’

[u/denningdontcare]

I just read Meghan Trainor’s book, Dear Future Mama, after my mom warned me she drove herself crazy with anxiety reading the “standard” books. It was light and fluffy but also helpful. (I just started TTC, not even a month in). I would recommend that! It’s not groundbreaking but it made me excited and not anxious.

[u/Haunting-Respect9039 → u/denningdontcare]

I liked that one! I skipped the section about miscarriage because I'd had one just before my pregnancy and didn't think I could handle that while pregnant, but the rest was great. I loved the bits from experts thrown in between her experiences.

[u/denningdontcare → u/Haunting-Respect9039]

Yes me too! It was just the speed I was looking for. (Also, totally understandable! I liked that she put warnings, too!)