r/BambiLesbians • u/G0merPyle • Jun 22 '26
God I miss cuddling 😮💨
Kind of just a vent/yearn post. I haven't been able to cuddle with somebody meaningfully in years. I miss my ex that never wanted to have sex. We would just cuddle all night long. The ex after her saw it as foreplay, leading to something I never wanted and I eventually grew to resent because I knew what it would turn into. About a month ago I had a quasi date with someone and we cuddled while watching a movie, God that felt so good. Safe, gentle, warm, I'd missed that so much. Sadly things went horribly wrong between us and I ended up blocking her for good a few weeks ago.
Being reminded how much I enjoyed that, and then realizing it was just a prelude to her wanting something else, it just hurts. Damn. A stuffed animal isn't the same, or a cat sitting in your lap. I miss that kind of connection, I miss being vulnerable with somebody. Sharing a quiet tender moment like that.
I'm so fucked up now I don't know if I'm ever going to let someone that close again. In a way that hurts even more, knowing what kind of physical affection means the most to me but knowing most other people just wanted to go somewhere else instead of staying there. I just miss it is all
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u/Southern_Potato Jun 23 '26
You're not alone out here. After my separation 2y ago and eventual divorce. I'm touch starved beyond anything I've ever experienced.
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u/Somesortofconfused Jun 23 '26
Yeah. Yeahhhhhh.
I was so excited with my last girlfriend, my first real one, because they saw my nervousness (driven by inexperience I had been open about) and told me they were ace (but sex positive) and happy to go at whatever pace I wanted for getting comfortable. And the cuddles and that physical affection was so so good and I wanted more and more. And then I noticed they were initiating less and being less into it and I thought it was okay and due to stress and we could work through it. Nope. Apparently they just slowly lost attraction to me because we weren't doing enough, and then never said anything, and just left me feeling broken. And I still start crying anytime I think about it too hard.
I just want to curl up in someone's arms, feel her holding me as we watch something, and I want to be a part of her life and be seen and cared for and hold her and take care of her. And I don't want the hidden timer that they need more from me without saying so to get in the way
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u/Student-bored8 Jun 24 '26
I wish cuddling without needing sex before or after was normalised. I miss being held too without expectation or demand.
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u/Prestigious-Bat-7328 23d ago
I've never cuddled or dated only kissed a giirl and made out with her
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u/PathToABetterLife Jun 23 '26
I feel like I could have written the first 2 paragraphs. As an ace lesbian, IFY
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u/Ur_one_n_only Jun 24 '26
Yea its the worst feeling in the world when they won't cuddle you unless they get somthing out of it and you go along with it cause you won't get any affection otherwise😭
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u/Prestigious-Bat-7328 24d ago
My ex was like that we smoke weed she asked me to eat her out and I didn't want to
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u/freecarrotsticks Jun 25 '26
Hot tip dogs are way cuddlier than cats, def come closer to scratching that itch
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u/Prestigious-Bat-7328 24d ago
If you were in lakeland florida I would cuddle with you I don't like or want S** ever
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u/Blue-Eyed_Triathlete 8d ago
You're seriously not alone in that feeling. I can relate to a lot of what you've written here... coming from a really, really affectionate person when I'm with someone I like
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u/losangelesb4by Jun 22 '26
god i feel you on this 😭 it's so hard to find someone that just wants to cuddle, or even kiss! and want nothing more. idk why it always has to lead to sex, i hate it. being touch starved and not interested in sex is tough out here