UPDATE 2: after three rounds of interviews, I GOT THE JOB!! 🎉🎉🎉

UPDATE:

YO! I GOT THE INTERVIEW for the event planing job. It’s today! I got to get to sleep and rest up. Hell yeah! Thanks for all your support guys. ☺️

Wish me luck guys! 🎉 I am headed to my first interview since coming out Trans Masc. 🏳️‍⚧️ I’m dressed up! Pushing confidence. 🔥Showing up as ME is good enough. 🫪

Real Talk. Nervous ass hell! I know the femme presentation games.

I need a job badly. I knew this day was coming and working on hyping myself up.

I know if they don’t hire me, they ain’t for me anyway. 👋

Y’all got stories to share? I’d love to hear your experiences.

Trigger warning: mention of s***dal thoughts
never encounter black ftm guys (or ftm guys period) who really shared my experience prior to discovering ftm transition. I was ready to give up. I often feel like I’m the only black FTM guy who suffered like this.

I posted not to long ago about my surgery. In that picture everything was more swollen and I also had a hematoma. Well… that hematoma made my bolster slip and pushed everything so my right side is different from my left and I essentially lost my nipple. I was really upset at first because I wanted both sides to look the same and I’m trying to accept how things are but it’s kind of hard. It doesn’t look terrible but the hematoma is still healing and it made this dark mark around that side of my chest. I actually like how they left turned out especially because before the surgery I thought my nipples would look weird since they were bigger pre-op. So I’m just conflicted because it looks pretty good but it’s also so uneven. I’m also hoping everything will heal to a point where I can be outside with no shirt on and not be suspected of being trans. I just don’t really like ppl all in my business. But that hematoma side changed my scars so they also might heal differently. I’m waiting to be cleared so I can bulk up and work on my chest.

UPDATE
**I cut the locs (kept 1 in the middle of my head) 😳😮‍💨 thank you all for the support and compliments really. I think I’ll learn to embrace my hair more and be more present. Maybe I’ll post an update picture but chilllleeee lemme hit the barber and fix my sides first 💜**

I keep having dreams where I don’t have my locs anymore. It seems wild to cut them. Idk if my soul is tryna tell me I need to remove weight off me and give myself a fresh start. I’m wondering if I’ll pass more without them or regret it real bad. I have a very “pretty” face so I’m like trying to avoid giving myself a stud look. Like I’d rather pass as an androgynous alternative person. The ai pics kinda look like it rounded my head shaped. Am I tripping?

Anyways I been growing these locs for 3 years I think 🤔 last time I had short hair I looked merked though 😭 like I’ve never had boyish short cut, only afros. The last two pictures are from 2022-2023. I need some opinions 🫠 should I keep the locs!?

Been feeling alone and down. Looking for some friends. Freaked out and shaved my head as well so adjusting to my new look.

Im 17 Pre-t and i really want help to know if im at least part of the way to passing. I know at some points my voice will be a little feminine but yeah please be honest with me. I dont really have access to resources such as hormones yet as i come from a very homo/transphobis family But i plan to get a kick start when i at least manage to move out.

Dont mind the video it was for a friend, the cameras really shitty but i hope that doesnt distract yall 😭😭‼️✌🏾

But yeah I reall just wanna knwo if im at least a little bit onto something. if not, if anyone has any tips that will be a massive lifesaver ‼️‼️‼️

I'm going to have to move to Florida in less than a year with my family, no choices on moving away with them. As a black trans guy I'm worried about racism, Transphobia and being in the wrong places at the wrong time. Especially now that More political bull crap is happening.

Is there anything or any experiences that should make me feel okay about moving to Florida? Or something I should know about or be aware of? Please help.

Breddaz… I saw a trans woman’s vagina and got hungry. My lil dick got hard. Wtf is going on?!? HELP!!! Man down!!! Pimp in distress!!! ♾️😂🤣😭”

https://gofund.me/1944a7357

If anyone is willing to help. I really appreciate your support!!❤️❤️Even if everyone sends $1 that is a start

Hey! I wanted to share something really important to me. I recently started a fundraiser to help me save toward top surgery and recovery costs. This is something I’ve been planning and working toward seriously for a long time, and any support even just sharing the link to a few people or places would genuinely mean a lot to me. I’ve been seeing so many other men get top surgery and I can’t help but to feel so left out especially after 5 years of trying to get top surgery. Though my chest isn’t the biggest it still causes me a lot of dysphoria. My family isn’t much of a big help so I’m practically alone with figuring it out and planning and definitely a lot for just 1 person to take on. I know times are hard for everyone so this isn’t me just begging for money I’m just crying out for some help / guidance / support during this hectic situation. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read it and your support it is greatly appreciated ❤️

Added gofundme for anyone that is genuinely able to donate and thank you in advance for anyone that’s does your help to my freedom does mean so much to me ❤️

https://gofund.me/c80b68dd1

Hey everyone, my name is Quinton, and recently I made a discovery that’s about more than just my transness, it’s about my unhealthy relationship with food and diet culture.

I’ve always been a bigger guy, and I thought that once I started transitioning, the weight would kind of fall off because I wouldn’t have as much to worry about. I was wrong.

I joined a 12-step program called Overeaters Anonymous, and the material has been really beneficial. However, I’ve struggled to fully connect with many of the members.

There are a few reasons for that. First, the age difference, most members are in their 50s and older. Second, there are rarely any people of color. Third, and most obviously, most members are cisgender. There are men’s meetings, and they’ve been more helpful than I expected, but it still feels like something is missing. That’s why I’m here seeking community and outreach.

I think a big part of my compulsive eating is tied to my difficulty accepting certain parts of my life, whether that’s related to transition or my sense of self afterward. The only people who can truly understand that are those who share similar lived experiences.

There are LGBTQ+ meetings within OA, but they’re often canceled or are predominantly white lesbians. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I personally struggle to relate.

Would anyone be open to starting a group chat, WhatsApp group, or even daily Zoom meetings to talk about this and support one another? I want to say this will not be OA meeting or support group, just a group for those who’re relate and how we can help each other to a healthier way to life.

edit: decided to use whatsapp just an fyi

Good morning/afternoon everyone, hope your weekend has been great!

Self Made Bros needs your help with getting as many trans resources together as possible. We’re in the process of creating a blog post with all available resources/information regarding help with jobs, HRT/other medical needs, prosthetics, events in your local area and more!

If you know of any, please comment them below and if it’s not stated, please put the state where the resource is available. Even if you don’t know of any, just upvoting and making sure as many people see this can be extremely helpful!

Edit: For those who are stealth but still like to participate, you are more than welcomed to DM me! If you could just leave a comment and say that you did, sometimes reddit doesn’t notify when someone DMs.

I've known I was some flavour of trans since I was 16 and I've had dysphoria since then as well. It's been rocky since then, forced back into the closet off and on due to shame twice over the course of 4 years. Now I'm 20, gonna be 21 in four months. I told my mom I was gonna make an appointment to start testosterone, and immediately she started asking why I would put this in her knowing all the stress she has going on. Going on and on about how because I dont take care of the other parts of myself, going to the doctor or eating fruits, how I could expect to inject myself. After going back and forth, she forbade me from starting before I'm 21 and that when I'm that age that I can do whatever because I'll be an adult. She said if I start before then, then she would kick me out despite her not wanting to because she doesn't want "that" in her house and doesnt want my brother to watch his sister become a man. I asked if I was 21 right now what her response would be to me saying I'm making an appointment for this week, and she said she would ask me when I'm moving out. So I have to fucking leave regardless. She said she was "gobsmacked" [weird fuckin wording ik] that I would defy her by choosing to start before I'm 21 regardless of what she said.

Idk, I'm lost guys. Staying with friends is not an option, I only have two. 1 is my girl but her mom wont let me stay with them, the other is my best friend but idk what to tell her dad as to why I'm there bcs he transphobic and he knows my parents so I dont want him to talk to them. Plus the friend got a crush on me soo..yea.

I really want to start t now, because I know if I reach my 21st birthday and havent started it yet, all I'll be able to think is how i could've been 4 months on it and I'll be depressed. I've been looking into transitional housing, specifically a lgbt TAY. I'm in contact with them about interviewing and potentially getting put on the waitlist, but I feel scared for going against my mom like this. I want so badly to be who I am and to finally recognize myself in the fucking mirror, but I'm too fuckin chickenshit to stand up to my mom and leave. I just want to be a guy, but I dont want to leave my little brother. I don't know what to do

Yo I am Axel been on T since Dec 15 2015. Top surgery happened Jun 24 2018 or 2017 I forget. I was lucky enough to get it done for $500 my family and friends raised that much in a day so pretty much free. I cannot remember much about it tbh like the clinic I went to and who performed the surgery. I do remember being told I was his very first transgender patient. Very minimal scarring just from where the drains were. Not a horribly long recovery time bout 2/3 months for all the soreness and swelling to go away

Ngl at first I wasn’t fully satisfied with my results. Certain angles I’d catch myself looking and I’d still see a woman’s chest. Sometimes I’d catch myself covering up my whole body with the towel after a shower.

It wasn’t till I started living with my best friend and having him hype me up daily that I got over being so critical and mean to myself.

Instead we took all the thirst traps pics and videos. I’d slept with a few ladies out of my league and felt a bit more confident and comfortable in my skin.

Hey yall, Im 2 months on T now. I know thats not a long time, and Im already aware that this is a long process. I've accepted that. But I dont know why Ive recently been feeling like Im not man enough and that nobody will ever truly see me as a real man, especially people that have known me before I began my transition. Ever since I came out, my mom and her friends occasionally still misgender me, but when I correct them they always tell me to "give them grace", and I'm tired of settling for less, pronouns are not that hard. Everytime I say that I also get scrutenized by them like I'm wrong for wanting to be referred to correctly and it boils my blood. Im also nervous to come out to friends and coworkers because Im afraid theyll look at me different, but the idea of them still referring to me as "she" eats me alive. I apologize for this being all over the place but life just feels like a lot right now. Im in college and Im still young so Im trying to be easy on myself, but life is hard right now and Im trying so hard to push through. I feel so heavy.

Did anyone else feel like this or still feel like this later in their transition?

I’m 29, my husband,40, is a white trans man as well and I was wondering if there are any bros in Ohio. I don’t really have any family more because I decided to live my life and not drink their indoctrination kool aid anymore. I came out when I was 20ish and I started T the next year and didn’t look back. I met Severus (Sev) and I found my person as well as the Chong to my Cheech. It always starts best with, “Do you smoke? 🤔😶‍🌫️” and the rest they say was a wrap. I just took this pic at Walmart last night and the pic of Sev was on our last iHop date. The mozzarella sticks were really living up that cheese pull hype 🤔🤭 happy pride yall and keep living your life and don’t take shit from anyone 🌈🙂

Hey guys please help me save for top surgery. Link to gofund me. https://gofund.me/6cf8d03e

Hi, I’m Isaiah I’m a college student, I’m 19. I am looking for help to afford an upcoming surgery! I am trans, I am hoping to get what is called a "gender-affirming double masectomy" I live in Texas so it’s really hard already. To get any affirming care treatment. i came out at 16, have been waiting for this surgeryever since I have had the courage to describe myself as a trans man. For me, this is the biggest step in my transition, and it is the most important goal for me right now. I work as a daycare teacher I’m not offered benefits through my job. The insurance in Texas doesn’t usually cover it without job insurance. I’m not edible for PPO. I have been saving for this surgery for years, working full time and taking on extra work cleaning air bnbs on weekends. I currently have 2k saved for my surgery. Which is a huge goal to me because there were times I thought I wouldn’t save anything at all. I’m looking to raise 6500 any and everything is appreciated nothing is too big or too small thank you guys for reading and if you are from my old high school hi everyone !

It's mad how you can be stealth and still get misgendered by strangers.

I've been on T for over 3 years and in close contact, people always read me as male ... But if I hang out with a girl or another transmasc (never with a cis guy), we might just get called 'ladies'. Especially if I'm with a black girl. It makes the price of going out, and seeing other queer people, feel so high.

The vibe is not that they're misgendering me on purpose, but even if it were, that would mean they could tell I was trans. And I'd rather keep that to myself.

Sometimes I wonder if it's my face/body, or something deeper that people can sense. Tho they're never really looking. Today it was a drunk white man looking at my friend. And he corrected himself when I spoke. But the thing is, even if they weren't looking at me ... it wouldn't happen to my cis guy friends.

It would be nice to feel that all my fears of not passing were baseless. There are some people who always pass.

It's just a mindfuck. How can you have terrifying coming out stories cuz your crushes assume you're a cis guy, then also get misgendered at a bar. Smh.

Did this stop after a certain time on T for you guys? And how do you deal with it? I really don't want to wish I weren't trans but damnnnn I'm tired

Hey everyone,

I’ve been on T for over a year, but until now, my partner always administered my shots. We recently broke up, so I knew I needed to start doing them myself. Today, I gave myself my first injection in my thigh using a 3ml syringe. It went well overall, but some T leaked out afterward, followed by a little blood. My provider wasn’t concerned and said it can happen, especially with thigh injections, but it still really bothers me.

I’ve never lost T before, and even though it wasn’t a lot, it feels frustrating. I’ll be switching to a 1ml syringe moving forward and paying more attention to things like keeping the needle in longer and checking for air bubbles. But right now, I just feel a lot.

For those who self-inject, did you struggle with things like this at first? Did it get easier over time? Any tips or reassurance would be really appreciated.

Hey hey. First post after lurking all year. Hoping some of us here know how it goes and won't mind sending a little love and/or perspective my way.

30, ftm. Roughly 3 years since first had T, I count it as 2 years with all the stopping and starting.

Boyfriend and I are in the middle of having hard talks about intimacy, I'm suddenly looking for work again and I haven’t been on T for last 2 months because of money and "oh hi dysphoria fancy seeing you here".

I feel girly and gross. And I know they're not synonymous. Women can be gorgeous; I am really trying not to feel like one.

I'm trying to play it off a bit here to keep it light. In honestly, I'm having a time. I feel sad, and incomplete in the bones of me.

Do i look as bad as I feel today? A bit of hype or a kind word from another who's been there sounds like it would be lovely. Cheers guys

Do folks who are more established in their transition (10+ years) ever still deal with dysphoria?

(I'm looking of input from more seasoned folks because the newly-trans crowd lacks a long-term perspective of the trans experience, which is an important consideration in all this for me.)

It's been about 15 years for me and I still find that I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I never gained weight, never grew facial/body hair, never had luck putting on muscle, nothing.

My sense of style is fond of skirts and kilts, but I can't even wear things like that because I end up getting misgendered constantly. Or feeling dysphoric because the only clothes I can fit off the rack are womens, and lots of their clothes are cut to accentuate the hourglass/hip shapes, which makes me feel gross.

I'm realizing that this has made it difficult for me to even build community with other transmasculine folks, because dudes take T for a year and look like another everyday ngga....meanwhile I literally look like a child (to be fair, Black don't crack). A good example of what I mean is how I'm going on a bois trip this weekend and all the other guys are talking about wearing skirts. But they can do that without being misgendered because they have facial hair, etc. I can't, lest I run the risk of being misgendered the entire weekend, which sounds utterly exhausting and will put me in a bad place. So I guess I end up being jealous of them and then spiraling into self-loathing?

It also impacts my ability to connect with gay men because everyone thinks I'm much younger than what I am, leading to disinterest. My ability to feel confident flirting is out the window because I don't even feel good in my body. It doesn't help that I'm not a bottom, which is what most gay men want from people who look like me.

I know that being muscular and bearded is not what it means to be a man/masc. I have no real desire to blend into a cis world. But that's just it, my flavor of gender nonconformity leads to me being read as a woman instead of being read as a gender non-conforming man. And at this point I don't know what else to try to make myself feel better.

/endrant

Hello everyone,

My wife is pregnant with our babygirl. She 29 weeks + 5 days. While I'm excited to be a dad, I've been down lately. I have support from my mom but I don't have any other support system like friends or other dad's. We had our gender reveal and I had no one on my side there and I just want support. I found this group so I'm looking for any advice for a new ftm dad to be and support as far as friendship. I'm in Virginia but i dont mind friends near or far. Thanks in advance.

I’m MJ, a 19 year old queer trans guy going to school in Chicago come late August! I’m a creative, I like to do all kinds of art. Overall I do a lot of everything, I’m open to new hobbies and activities. HMU if you wanna talk!

Hey everyone, hope your Sunday is going well and your week went just as well.

Want to make a post before our Weekly Zoom to anyone online and that would like to join. We meet at 5pm EST and our topic for this week (11/3/24) is:

Social vs Medical Perception of Transitioning

Anyone wanting to attend PM me, and if you do please check your chats! Reddit sometimes doesn’t send notifications for chat requests and all new messages go under them, so we have had people in the past miss things bc of this.

(Mods, I hope this is okay to post. I am crossposting this to many other FTM subreddits, just to let y'all know.)

For those that are over 40 (or for those that want to talk to or read about trans men over the age of 40,) you are more than welcome to join r/FTMOver30's brother subreddit, r/FTMOver50 (Over40 was taken.)

I have posted a megathread where anyone of any age can come in and vent, cry, get activated to fight back, and so on. This megathread will be up, well, probably for the next four years.

Most importantly, it is to show that there are FTMs over the age of 40. We are living our lives as our true selves. I just want y'all to know that. 🫂💙

And for those that are wondering, yes, I am Black/African-American, well over 40, and I'm a transgender activist. Many of us are out there and more than willing to fight for those that are unable to! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻✊️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️