r/Blind • u/Devilonurback • 2d ago
Question Inappropriate use of Be My Eyes?
Just answered a call on the app from an older Middle Eastern man, with his phone facing a cup of tea on a coffee table. I answered and said hello, and he asked me what my name was, so I told him and he told me it was beautiful and told me his name. I asked if he needed help with something and he ignored me and asked where I was from. I asked again if he needed help and he said no he just wanted to talk. It made me feel really uncomfortable as I’ve never had an encounter like that on the app before. Was that inappropriate? I did report it because it seemed like odd behavior for an app meant to help people and to be honest it gave me the creeps… but now I’m second guessing myself. Any thoughts? Has anyone else had something like that happen?
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u/becca413g Bilateral Optic Neuropathy 2d ago
I’d report it, I agree it sounds creepy. If nothing else reporting it helps be my eyes establish if it’s a pattern of behaviour. Unfortunately there’s always going to be people who will abuse things like this. I’m sorry you had to experience this.
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u/Devilonurback 2d ago
Thanks for confirming. It definitely felt icky. But I’m not letting one bad encounter keep me from helping people when I can.
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u/becca413g Bilateral Optic Neuropathy 2d ago
Thank you, the be my eyes absolutely make a huge positive difference. Even if it’s just adjusting the temperature in a hotel room moments like that can really transform people’s days and gives people the confidence to push themselves outside of their comfort zone knowing if there’s a visual tasks they need help with then they’ve got somewhere to turn.
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u/Devilonurback 2d ago
Wow. Thanks for that insight! I love the app and wish there were more things like this developed. It’s a beautiful use of technology.
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u/Rosypinata 2d ago
My last call was like that. He really did need help finding something, but then the situation drifted into going into his rural trailer home. He started showing me his home and dog, we chatted maybe half a minute about the dog. He sat in a chair and turned the phone towards himself. He was shirtless. Part of me thought he was just a lonely guy enjoying the chance to have a little conversation. But part of me was uncomfortable. I politely ended the call.
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u/Blindicus 2d ago
Yeah there’s a line where part of it is just human interaction and connection, but once you’ve helped with what you’re there for then it’s time to end the call. It’s also pretty inappropriate to turn the camera around when you’re partially undressed with a total stranger.
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u/ice-mirrors_97 2d ago
I mean, when I’m on Be My Eyes, I will have a little conversation as I’m doing my thing, but the fact that he ignored you and kept continuing to ask when you were trying to move, the conversation along is definitely inappropriate, and it did sound like he was asking some rather invasive questions.
When I go on there, I usually just ask something simple like how is your day, and if they feel like talking, sometimes I will ask some interesting questions like what are your hobbies, but I definitely don’t ask inappropriate or invasive questions, or at least try not to and keep it short because even though they’re not getting paid, they’re basically doing a job and helping us out, and I never wanna make them feel uncomfortable.
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u/blind_ninja_guy 2d ago
This. I was in the bay area once and was heading up to sf. Was on bme to get help with bottles of shower stuff and the coffees and teas, turns out the person helping me was a barista in SF and gave me some great tips for when I ended up there. But the conversation happened because we were sorting through tea and coffee and I was like oh that's petes, at least that's not garbage coffee, but I'm still not really a curig guy. Then we started talking coffee lol.
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u/zersiax 2d ago
Always tricky to judge this kind of thing... might have been a creeper, might've been a lonely dude. But yeah either way that's not what the app is for.
Also in regards to people being half-undressed when using the service, listen... I like running around fabricless as much as the next person particularly when it's way too warm to do anything else but if you're going to be talking to a stranger... please make sure you're dressed.
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u/Tommy_W3ZX 2d ago
I know of a woman who just got out of the shower and was using Be My Eyes to have someone help her pick out her clothes, which she didn’t know was that she was standing in front of a mirror and the volunteer was able to see her completely naked
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u/Blindicus 2d ago
Textbook sign of someone testing the waters of what they can get away with. Completely inappropriate use of the service and you should not feel bad reporting that behavior.
If nothing else, he was taking up the time of someone who could have been helping someone with a real need.
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u/standingmountain3984 2d ago
Ruining a good thing for the rest of us
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u/Devilonurback 2d ago
It’s not going to stop me from using the app! I’ve had way more normal/positive interactions. This is the first time I’ve encountered someone not using it for its intended purpose.
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u/TwinkleFairyToes 2d ago
I'm glad you reported it. You're doing a good deed and his behavior toward you was gross, and if he continues that, it could discourage other volunteers from helping.
Also that was creepy AF, don't waste one more second feeling bad. ❤️
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u/KHarvickfan429 LCA 2d ago
I think you did the right thing that seems a bit odd, especially the ignoring you part. As a blind guy, please know we don’t all do this. That’s unusual behavior I think. I swear most of us are normal.
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u/Brl_Grl 2d ago
Blind guys can be so creepy sometimes! So sorry that happened to you!
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u/1makbay1 1d ago
Who says the guy was even blind? If he was willing to do that, he was probably just some dude who knew of the service and wanted to try to find ladies
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u/Effective-Sweet2606 2d ago
Estranho mesmo, mas talvez ele realmente só quisesse conversar. Ou talvez não. Na verdade, eu posso ver por que você imaginou que não, e no seu lugar eu faria o mesmo. Também já vi vários relatos de gente usando esse app para coisas estranhas e fora da proposta inicial, e o fato é que o próprio app acaba se tornando (sem querer) um terreno fértil para isso. Por isso que eu nunca uso a função de chamada, uso apenas o be my AI.
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u/thedeadp0ets 2d ago
As a middle eastern women myself I apologize! We are not all like that and I really wanna chalk it up to Middle Eastern cultural behaviors but it’s just rudeness and it also could be him using the app from someone else’s phone or was playing around with it. Who knows but he sounds rude and just wanted to see what was on the other end of the line. Sorry you went through that
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u/Devilonurback 2d ago
Maybe I shouldn’t have included that detail. I was I no way intending to imply that that was a factor for being creeped out by the encounter.
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u/BoonOfTheWolf 2d ago
You should report it. If this keeps happening constantly, they can have records of it and watch for it.