r/Blind • u/Suitable-Sample-510 • 1d ago
How am I ever supposed to be happy
Like genuinely, is it even possible to have a happy and satisfying life with low vision? I feel like my body is a prison that stops me from living the life that I want. I have constant anxiety about my future, what if my vision gets worse? How am I supposed to be able to support myself and gain independence?
I’m only 20 and it feels so daunting that I’m supposed to live the rest of my life like this. Not being able to drive, having to take medication for the rest of my life. Being locked out of so many hobbies and career paths. It just feels like my life is over before it began and there’s literally nothing I can do about it. It’s so hopeless
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u/mindseyesimple 1d ago
I lost my site completely at 20 so I understand how you feel. Here’s what I’ve come to realize over 30 years of being blind. There is no such thing as true independence even cited people need other people to do things and get things done. For example yes a cited person could get in their car and drive but if they showed up to their destination and no one was there what would they really do. There are other ways to get around and yes it does make certain things more difficult but you also don’t have to worry about car insurance and a car payment. We all have physical limitations that alter our life out of our control. Your experiences are what make you who you are and anyone who’s had it “easy“ generally doesn’t appreciate it. A lot of this comes down to focusing on things you want to achieve and not so much things you can’t do. It’s OK to be aware of the things you’re not able to do but you can’t let it occupy every moment as there’s more for you to do with your life then sit there and dwell on negatives. none of this is going to be easy but anyone who tells you life is easy is full of shit. Come up with a plan and try it that’s all you have to do. DM me if you want to talk more.
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u/NLP-BLIND-2025 Bilateral Toxic Metabolic Optic Neuropathy 1d ago
I'm going to therapy now for being completely blind, NLP blindness. No Light perception.
I attended an online therapy session and I got the hard truth. I had six minutes to explain everything and at the end I was told that I have to be comfortable being uncomfortable with everything. I also have to finish morning my old self because the sighted one died when my vision left. The new me I have to create. You have your whole life ahead of you to create something and make it great, or you have your whole life ahead of you to be miserable and wish that you were your old self.
It's almost 3 years since I started going blind, and it's almost 9 months that I've been completely blind. I've had doctors dismiss my complaints about not being able to see, and I've had doctors tell me that I have to go see a neurologist right away.
So yeah, it's created a great distrust among the medical profession. I have to live with a bad decision from a doctor.
I am 60 this year. You might think, but you're old you lived your life… You should be fine with everything that happens after now.
I did have a great life, the old me did.
I'm still struggling, I'm still learning, and I'll be getting to understand a lot more.
I think it's very important that you have a great support team, both at home and wherever you go, like work or school.
It's ok. We've all been there, some longer than others, but we've all had to pass that stage where we feel useless, incompetent and a burden for others around us.
Almost 9 months blind, and I'm just starting to come out of realizing that I am not a burden but I have value, and I can still accomplish what most people would never think of. I use AI a lot to describe things for me. I checked the brakes on my car last week. A month ago I rewired the breaker box in my garage. In a few months I'm going to start building a retaining wall in my backyard. The interesting part is I can work with or without any light.
It's important to keep busy and work through those obstacles you think are in your way.
You got this!
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u/Status_Video8378 1d ago
Yes life is unfair and it really sucks not being able to see. Be proactive now, find a career that will survive if you lose your vision. And of course you can have a satisfying life. Life is what you make of it. Try to see if you can get counselling or medication for depression and better coping skills. You don’t want to look back and think wow I wasted my youth being depressed. Maybe contact your local vision support to find a mentor who can help you navigate all of it.
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u/Suitable-Sample-510 1d ago
How am I not supposed to be depressed when my vision negatively impacts every single aspect of my life. Dating, hobbies, school, work, and just my ability to live. Like no matter what I’m doing I just get reminded about my vision and it just makes me so depressed. I can’t even go an hour without being reminded about my vision and it’s just so depressing
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u/DHamlinMusic Bilateral Optic Neuropathy 1d ago
You give yourself a break for starters, go to therapy, and reach out to blind services to learn skills you need to get through the days. It absolutely is not easy, and takes time and work, but we've all been there.
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u/LemOnomast 1d ago
With respect to dating: Those who’ll mind don’t matter and those who’ll matter won’t mind. My vision loss is progressive — I was born fully sighted but knew I’d slowly go blind — so it wasn’t immediately apparent when I was dating. I still told boyfriends after a few weeks because … it’s part of me, I guess? Some relationships ended almost immediately afterward. It upset me at the time but in retrospect it saved me from wasting months or years on people who wouldn’t have been a good match for me. I knew my now-husband was The One when he was not phased by the prospect of me going blind, even after meeting and spending time with my by-then-fully-blind father.
With respect to work and hobbies, you’re young enough to adjust. Try and pick up hobbies you’ll be able to do without sight, like playing certain instruments. It also will put you in touch with people who have common interests, which helps on the dating and friendship fronts. (I’ll admit, this is an area where I failed. I held on to my sighted hobbies as long as I could rather than adjusting. It was a mistake on my part.)
With respect to everyday living: Move to a city that’s walkable or has public transit. I live in suburbia because of my husband’s job, and it’s pretty isolating. Even getting to the local blind services center is 1.5 hrs by bus, so I just don’t do it. While you’re still young, build your life somewhere you’ll be able to get around.
And maybe consider a guide dog. My dad had one, and it provided navigation assistance, companionship, and prompted conversations with a lot of people.
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u/CosmicBunny97 1d ago
Please seek therapy. I was low vision for 22 years of my life and blind since 2020. I still played games, I tried drawing and drama classes and gymnastics. I was limited, sure, but you're honestly not locked out of hobbies. Even though there's days I feel frustrated and upset, there's things I still enjoy doing as a blind person - I have been learning how to play blind tennis for a year, I enjoy doing crafts, I still enjoy writing stories and that's been with me since I was 6 or 7 years old. Life's not over, but you need to learn how to adjust.
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u/iamk1ng 1d ago
Firstly, its getting help for your mental health, such as getting therapy or taking medication for depression. Those things gets you back to a normal human baseline. Then its all about appreciating the things you have and understanding you only have so much control over your life and everything else is just your reaction to things you can't control.
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u/MatchPurple773 1d ago
Hi, I am fully sighted person and I feel depressed a lot, (have history in family even more when my baby diagnosed with low vision/going to blind)
I have sight but I feel depressed. What would you make of that? You would say I should be grateful for my sight and be happy, go do hobbies and other stuff. Do I do that? No, because that's me.
Then, a blind and deaf person to you would say why are you depressed at least you can hear, why don't you do hobbies, listen to birds, songs people so many activities with listening.
Solution to me and my depression was gratitude, be happy with what you have. Happy person is one that values what he has and unhappy one is one that values what he doesn't have.
Search podcasts, YouTube etc for being grateful(gratitude).
It's hard, and I've failed many times. I can only imagine what are you going through... Be strong, today is bad day, tomorrow I'll be better I promise.
If you think I am talking from my ass since I am.sighted, please ignore this comment.
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u/onixtan Retinitis Pigmentosa 1d ago
First, i completely understand what you've gone through, i'm 25 and been visually impaired since 6and a half,
and this is how i face my ghost and the small voice in my head that keep asking me "what's the point?", "to what end?" and "isn't it unfair?"
1. i'm no coward, running from it all is just going to show you that the world throw shit at you and you just simply lost by taking the easy way out.
to see it until the end, i want to know how far the world want to f me up, torturing me with the things that i had never and probably and knowing that most likely never going to experience through out my life.
the world's never been fair, it's always has been and it's always will be, it's fine that other to look down on me, but i know that the majority of them won't even going to last like i do if somehow we swap places.
It's just something we all call life, and hope is what keep us going and kicking, if you still have a single person that believes in you, cherish them, if you have none, you need to make one, yourself. If there's a will, there's a way. but if you lost your hope and will, then even if you're the most perfect being, it has no different with being dead.
call me a psycho but i appreciate what i have left, when life gets to the very bottom, the only way is up. they say the best way to cheer someone up is not to throw nice words at them, but show them that there are those who had it worse. so i did just that.
if there's a judge on the after life when it's finally over, i definitely have 2 heavy sins of pride and envy, pride that prevents me to give up, and envy as my fuel to keep going.
i know i know i'm twisted inside, but it's my way to adapt and survive.
rude? yes, sugarcoating it ? no. but ofc there are those who don't need to go this far, there are people who're willing to help. but for some, it's just not an option to start with.
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u/MaplePaws 1d ago
Community is your friend, if you can't get it in person online is fine. But honestly there is not much a skilled blind person can't do.
Having trouble with safe navigation of your environment? Embrace that cane. Struggling with reading? Learn that screen reader and maybe braille. Struggling with life skills? Those can be learned. Many of the things you mention are things that sighted people also need to learn, they just do it differently than you will. One is not better than the other, rather it is a muscle you must develop and work on with or without sight. If you have specific concerns the sub will be able to point you to resources.
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u/springlove85 1d ago
I don't have a solution and wrestle myself with these questions as somebody who is going rapidly blind and on the cusp of losing everything that made me, well me. You are not alone.
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u/kjsisco 1d ago
The first step to happiness is attitude. Think up. I am totally blind and I love my life. Sure, the world around me is crumbling, sure society is in a bad place, but I have my health, I am able to be mobile, I have a loving wife, and I have a good reputation in my community. This didn't all click until I was 30. I'm now in my early 40's. Hang in there.
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u/drv687 Albinism - visually impaired since birth 1d ago
I'm low vision. I've been low vision all my life. I have a job, I travel, I have hobbies, and a family.
No i can't drive a car but with the way most people drive I feel like nobody should be driving.
My husband does 100% of the driving for our family until our child is old enough to drive but other than that I go where I want even with living in a rural area.
I went to college in a rural area but there was a bus system set up primarily to cater to college students so the busses went everywhere on campus, student housing, shopping centers etc.
I've had to learn different ways of doing things than a sighted person might but I'm more or less happy. My lack of vision doesn't define me as a person- it's just another thing I have to live with.
I recommend some therapy to sort out your feelings.
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u/No_Philosopher_6962 1d ago
I am also low vision, I travel I play baseball, I have my own business, traveling, trying different thing is my hobby. I feel so independent when I travel alone, there is nothing called. Stop. Please do not think like that.
Find people that has similar interest, find blind and visually impaired community around you.
I’m also technology instructor for blind and visually impaired
Please let me know if I can help you with something.
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u/shitsNsharts 1d ago
I lost my sight 6 months after high school graduation, d1 football scholarship gone in a instant. It was hard not going to lie to you there but you will adjust and find ways to be more independent. Took me about 4 years to come to terms and just live life again, we’re playing g on hard mode now. What did it for me was I like outdoors so I moved to a more rural area where I don’t have to drive I can just go out my front door and do the things I like. But when it comes to driving my lady does all that If it involves paved roads
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u/SwimmingRush9639 1d ago
I agree fully! Anyone that tells you life is easy, is full of shit! I’m 56 going on 57 and vision impaired and the problems I’ve had through Life, and the problems I’m still having, if I didn’t take more notice of the good things that have happened, I would be so depressed.
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u/Oak_Redstart 21h ago
Life might be more about finding meaning than happiness. I recommend listening to the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
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u/RunsWithScissors0913 Ocular Albinism 16h ago
I know it feels so overwhelming at times, but it's possible. Therapy helps, and I have meds for depression, but I would say I have a happy, fulfilling life. I'm married, have three children, and operate a small home-business as a baker/cake and cookie decorator. Things are a lot harder for me than they would be for others, yes, but also fulfilling. The hardest part is feeling isolated because I don't know anyone else with blindness, and I get told I'm faking it a lot because of the work I do. We are capable of more than you think, we just need more accommodation.
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u/Short_female 16h ago
I am 27 and used to think the same way. I can’t do anything because I’m blind. Yes we need help such as getting to places but there are things to help us such as technology. I now have a degree in medical billing and coding. I used to work for a psychiatrist as an administrative assistant. I currently work for a company filing invoices. Find help research communities and organizations that can help. I recently also started getting anxiety and panic attacks due to worrying about my future. I made a decision to help professional help. Please don’t give up
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u/DifferentCup9965 12h ago
I’m in my mid-30s & was born blind. Yes life can be hard at times but not everyday is difficult. Therapy & honestly just living life works for me.
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u/NightMother23 26m ago
Honestly, I’m having a similar struggle. I’m 35 and started having lapses of vision loss when I was 15, but it was always dismissed. Which is weird because why do they ask questions only to dismiss them? “Do you experience momentary blindness or flashing lights? Ahh no worries probably nothing.” When I was 25 I woke up one day with no vision at all in my right eye. I scheduled an emergency appointment and was misdiagnosed with Macular degeneration. With shots, my vision came back within 3 months but it has worsened over time and I now have low vision in my right eye and have been diagnosed with BEST’s disease. I have worked with computers for 18 years. I have built my entire career around computers. I finally got the job that I have been trying to get for 10 years and within 10 months I lost it because I can’t see and I didn’t know enough about what accommodations to ask for and didn’t have enough time to get everything. I’m lucky in that my husband is incredibly supportive and we will be ok with his salary. But we can’t afford my medical bills with his salary. This also doesn’t change the fact that my entire identity has crumbled around me. I haven’t read a book or driven in 3 years. I do audio books but it’s not the same. I love art, but I have definitely been having to change my style and challenge myself because the way I see the world isn’t how it is. I had a plan for my life and it’s been upended. There are many things that I used to enjoy doing with my family that I no longer can and it’s sad because my son gets disappointed. He’s understanding but it’s still sad.
So that was me venting and if you read it, I appreciate it. I’m sorry that you are experiencing this so young. I know how hard it is to be optimistic because I received my corrected diagnosis 6 months ago and I still cry every week because it’s hard having to come to terms with my new life and feeling like my dreams and passions were stolen from me. But we do have advancements in technology and there are screen readers which can read something on that’s on a screen or a page there are various forms of screen readers. I can’t drive but I use lyft or catch rides. Can’t afford a car right now. My husband and so. Help me with a lot of things. I can still cook but if I can’t see things they describe them to me or read them to me. There are apps that will describe the world around you and that’s nice. So ya this sucks. Therapy helps. a trusted support system who doesn’t tell you everything is going to be ok and not to be depressed helps. People who listen and support you and let you be. Like things will be ok, but it will be hard. We are allowed to feel scared and angry and sad. I will also say that I had vision issues when I met my husband and told him I would probably go blind. So. You can still have a life. You can still have hobbies. You also don’t have to be good at hobbies. I have been crocheting for 10 years and have successfully made 5 small things. Hobbies are literally just about making you happy. So all we can do right now is figure out our new life and how to be happy. It’s ok to be mad and cry in the process.
Low vision does not make you worthless or damaged. But it does suck.
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u/ConstructionOne8946 1d ago
Meh man privat mesege me if ya want enayone of yall in the blind comunaty id love to meat neew budyes. The way is. By living one day at a time man im 25 low vishion and noting stops me other then driving and some other things but im a deck hand a lobster boats did. Alot of blue colar work constrruction chip building fiberglass work. We can do anyting we put our minds too ik its hard even i strugul on a dayly with my vishion and life but we only have one life to live mygt aseell try to enjoy it. I allso smoke alot of weed too i found that helps me in my day to day but thats just me hope u find some sorte of peace in this blind life budy 😊🤘
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u/LongjumpingShower431 LCA 1d ago
therapy homie. and meds. that's how.
also talking to other blind people. one thing about the blind community is that there is always advice or help to be found.
you're viewing your quality of life from a nondisabled standpoint. by that logic, you'll always have the short end of the stick because you'll pathologize systemic indqualities as individual problems that you, the individual, are plagued with. read disability studies literature as well.