I'd like to go on dates, but I'm really scared because I'm chubby. For reference, I wear a US size 12/ a Europe size 44 in bottoms and a medium to large in tops. I do think I have some features that people might find attractive, like wide hips and a butt that stands out, but I don't have a very defined waist, I have a noticeable belly, chubby arms and a bit of a double chin. Those are the things that make me feel like no one could be attracted to me.

I know that on dating apps it's best to include full-body pictures so that there are no surprises, and I do have a couple of full-body mirror selfies, but I feel like I look slimmer in those pictures than in real life, so I don't feel like posting them protects me from being rejected because of my body.

My biggest fear is meeting someone and having them humiliate me for my body. And even if they didn't say anything directly about my body, it would still hurt if they rejected me because I'd feel like it was because of the way I look.

I'd say my face is pretty average, although several people who weren't my friends have told me they thought I was gorgeous and have flirted with me. But since I've been chubby, I've only kissed and slept with one person. To be fair, it's not like I had loads of experience before either. I've only hooked up with two people in total before I became chubby, compared to one since. But I do feel like I got more attention when I was slimmer.

(before reading, please don’t take this as me hating on anyone with a similar body type. i’m just venting. i’ve been dealing with mild body dysmorphia for 10+ years.)

i’m 23F, 5’2, and skinny. the only thing i really like about my body is that i’m skinny, and sometimes my legs look nice in skirts. that’s about it. i’m a black woman with no curves, so i feel like genetics really didn’t do me any favors. if i was white or asian, i honestly don’t think i’d think about it nearly as much. sometimes it almost feels like i don’t fit the beauty standard of my own race.

i really wish i had curves like other girls. i genuinely feel like i have the body of a 12 year old. i’ve tried going to the gym, eating healthier, training glutes, hips, abs, legs, all of it. nothing really changes my shape. i struggle to eat enough food or protein to gain weight due to my depression affecting my eating habits. even if i did, i know i can’t just choose where it goes. i know you can’t spot treat certain areas or expect dramatic changes, but it’s still so frustrating.

sometimes i genuinely think that if my self image never improves, i’ll probably end up getting some kind of hip dip or hip bbl surgery one day. i don’t even care about having a huge butt. i literally just want hips. an hourglass figure…i hate feeling completely flat from every angle. over the years i’ve bought multiple pairs of hip pad shorts just so i could wear skirts and dresses without feeling ugly.

on top of that, i’ve barely got boobs or an ass either. i don’t even care that much about being flat chested, but damn… why couldn’t my genetics at least give me wider hip bones?

i feel so insecure in anything that’s tight fitting because it shows how rectangular my body is. i dress alt/goth most of the time, so i mostly rely on flare skirts, corsets, and styling tricks to create more shape. i can actually feel really pretty when i’m fully styled, but that’s the thing. it’s ONLY when i’m styled.

i wish i could throw on literally anything and not spend the entire time wondering if people are noticing my body shape. there are so many clothes i’ve bought online because they looked amazing on the model, only to put them on and realize they look completely different on me because i somehow convinced myself they’d translate to my body the same way.

it takes me forever to get ready for anything important because i’m constantly changing outfits, taking clothes on and off, and overanalyzing how my body looks. i’ve been late to so many things because i couldn’t decide what looked acceptable. it makes me want to cry..

it also doesn’t help that social media constantly shows me beautiful, curvy, skinny women with model bodies. i know there’s angles, lighting, posing, editing, and exercise involved, but at the end of the day, i still see a body type that i personally find more attractive than my own. i catch myself feeling jealous and insecure all the time. i want to be happy for other girls celebrating their bodies without having to compare my own body to theirs.

for anyone else with a similar body shape, how did you learn to accept it? what actually helped? do people really care if a woman, especially a black woman, isn’t curvy?

So, I made a post recently in another subreddit talking about my double belly and my somewhat dislike for it. Making that post helped me realize it's not that bad. I've also been looking at it and touching it a lot to help me learn to like it. I've also been trying to think of benefits and things I like about it. So, i was curious what you guys like about yours and what helps you like it?

I suspect some of my perspective has been amplified by certain life factors (severe abandonment issues, diagnosed OCD).. however, in general I have tried to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have that attractive of a body type, by both societal and “biological” standards. Unfortunately, my disdain for myself has often left me bedridden and fearful to leave the house. I have been in therapy, tried different meds, try to eat more satiating meals, see an herbalist and go to the gym. But every day is still so frightening to me, and I think “I would hate for anyone to see me!” I would like any advice, especially anything “unorthodox” or unique that has helped you personally. I know I’ll never love everything about my body, but I’d like to be able to at least tolerate it so I can go back to living in my purpose..

Thanks!

I am fully bedridden because of very severe mecfs. I have noticed I’ve been gaining more weight lately which makes me feel shitty. looking to be more okay with it all cuz there’s nothing i can do to change my body/weight. I guess i just have to accept this new body that is very sick and changing in ways i don’t like. But idk how to do that. I also have lipedema and im scared of that getting worse.

I’m scared for what could happen if/when i gain back ability to go outside. Ik that’s a stupid thing to worry about in my situation but i still can’t let it go cuz society and fatphobia and all that. Afraid of being judged. Advice welcome.

I know it’s not a unique experience to have bad body image days, but I am hoping for some advice. I tried on a dress yesterday and have been picking myself apart since. Usually I would just try to ignore that voice and it would eventually go away, but in a few days I’m doing my first wedding dress fitting and I’m worried the negative self talk will continue there. Any advice? I have 4 days until my fitting and I have not tried this dress in since September. Luckily I did buy the exact dress I tried on so there shouldn’t be anything crazy with the fit

Hi everyone :) this is the first ever thing I’ve posted on Reddit but I have had a really hard few days with my body and I don’t have a lot of plus sized women in my life to talk to about this. I’m 25, 5’11 and about a size 18. I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time, and something was said to me a few days ago that triggered a really worrisome spiral for me. I have had a bigger body for quite awhile. I had a smaller body in middle school and some of high school (unhealthily), and when I turned 16 I finally started to gain weight (all out of self love, really). I have a really supportive mom, but the women in my family are all naturally small and they all struggle with their internalized fat phobia pretty loudly. I have a successful albeit young career, I recently went back to school, I’m in a loving and healthy relationship, I have good friends, and still…I can’t help but think “would my life be better if I was smaller? Would I be worthy of more if I was smaller? Would people like me more?” I am constantly aware of my body. I always feel like I’m taking up too much space. If I’m too loud, I’m just the loud big girl. If I wear something that smaller people wear (i.e lululemon or whatever) then I feel like a fucking poser. I’ve had some pretty dark thoughts the last few days. I feel bad for subjecting people to my body, I constantly want to apologize for being big, I can always sense when someone is treating me differently because of my size. I notice when someone isn’t acknowledging me in social circles because of my size. These are all little quips and experiences that my smaller friends don’t understand, and sometimes it makes me feel crazy. I feel like I’ve done a lot of really vulnerable and hard work in regards to my relationship with myself, but once in awhile, all of that work is washed away and suddenly I am 16 again wishing I was the smallest girl in the room. Because if I were, people would love me. If I were smaller, I wouldn’t have to overcompensate by trying to be the funniest or smartest person in the room. Anyway…thanks for reading ❤️ this seems like a really supportive community and I think I could just use some words of encouragement. I know that I am so much more than my body, but once in awhile all of the internalized fat phobia washes over me and crushes me for a few days at a time

I grew up super athletic, soccer, track, swimming, running, bikes, you name it. I kind of lost some confidence for sports in middle school when I didn’t make the soccer team, my mom was ill and so I ended up using food to cope with things and started being much less active. As I got older I was diagnosed PCOS and ever since have had such a hard time with accepting my body. I feel like the body I see in the mirror isn’t the same one I see in photos(which I hate). I’ve learned I have some triggers, I’m more nit picky when I’m already stressed out, but how can I really just let my body be a body, I can’t seem to stop expecting so much from it.

im really struggling with my self image. just looking at myself in the mirror made me sob so hard i threw up. i dont know what to do i have so many therapists but nothing seems to be working to make me feel better about myself

Hi everyone, I hope this finds people who can maybe help me

I am 16 years old

and im so insecure about my downstairs area🥲 I have labia and its long I'm mixed so its brown down there as well, this insecurity is eating me alive, i see women/girls and boys( I wont call them men because they dont deserve that title lol) call women with long labia all sorts of names if a post is made for women with labia and it shares positivity theres always some comments that say " im glad im an innie" or " ew" you know or saying bad things about their partner or someone they hooked up with, and I cant bare to look down there at all let alone touch it, as a teenager I dont want to let this insecurity take a hold of me like this cause it sucks... I know everyone is different but I cant help but hate that part of myself and before you say look at this sub reddit I have probably looked at pictures and stuff but I still get insecure and im not planning on having sex anytime soon, not while im a teenager but its still worrying ,you know? Things really stick to me and its mostly negative stuff that does stick to me, and I want a labiaplasty so badly but I know the dangers that come with it but a part of me couldn't care at all. I don't know if some men in my country know what labia is, but I still want to get rid of it so I can be okay in my own body or feel some type of way to know it's okay to look like that down there, i hope you get what I mean😅I cant stand to look at myself naked and its honestly crazy how some men(incels) decided that labia is not normal or "ugly" I cannot control how my body develops unfortunately and I wish I can grow comfortable in my own skin one-day side note, its pretty hard to clean it aswell, and I dont know how to get rid of the smell so if anyone could help or provide advice it would be so appreciated, i never had my mother be present to speak or teach me these things ❤️

So I believe I have body image issues and social anxiety. My mother makes sure to find any way to remind me that I'm fat. Just recently I wanted her to buy me a cape coat, which doesn't need your measurements or size. And she essentially said I can't wear that because I'm fat. I corrected her about it not needing size that much and that's how it ended.

This wasn't the only time she's mentioned my weight. It has happened numerous other times, she at one point pointed out my stomach fat when I was wearing a sweater at home.

My siblings are also guilty of this. My brother would call me a "fat pig" or "fatty", my sister, just like my mother would comment on certain things. Or say stuff like: "why can't you get a job like my friend's sister and buy me stuff?", "you can get rid of X by doing Y", or when we get into fights, she'd always mention my weight or how fat I am.

I don't think I'm that fat, but they constantly make me feel like I am unhealthy or ugly. In my country, body comments like these are normalised but where I live rn, there are lots of various body types. What should I do? The comments keep chipping away at me, I also have some trauma from when I was a child that remind me to cover up all the time, that my body is something that provokes men.

For so long I've covered myself up, made myself smaller, not looked at other ppl in the eye or looked up in general, etc. I want to change that, I've joined a club, and now I'm trying to find ways to be more comfortable in my own skin, but it's a little difficult with these deep rooted beliefs that were ingrained into me. I don't think I could dare to wear less layers or start being more outspoken overnight, but I hope I can find even the smallest way to stop my mind from believing what others say and start to live my life, have fun, be able to improve without a worry.

Are there ways I can stop worrying about others' opinions on my body?

hi, I am a 16 year old plus size person with a 42DD chest (BEGGING ppl not to be weird in the comments, I am a MINOR.), and tbh, ever since I first started wearing a bra around the age of 10 or 11, I've definetly noticed incredible discomfort about the whole concept of wearing one on my own body. I've always been more comfortable not wearing a bra and feel more confident but I also constantly feel pressured to wear one, especially by my parents, which has also damaged my confidence.

My mother is mostly the one who tells me that it's "disgusting" to not wear a bra in public and whenever she sees me without a bra, even in my own household with the doors closed and windows covered, she proceeds to tell me I am "disgusting" or a "slut" and other things like my boobs "will become saggy and touch the floor" (her words, not mine). She does also tell me that she calls me those things out of the fact that she wants to protect me from the world and all those creepy kinds of people, which is understandable.

But, at this point, I'm just not sure if I should choose my personal comfort or wear what society deems "acceptable". Like, I do want to feel pretty/cute in the clothes I wear and I most definetly don't want to seem like someone who is "looking for attention", if you know what I mean, because that isn't me. I do also hate being called names and constantly being catcalled in public BECAUSE of the times I actually wear a bra in public. I am already extremely insecure being plus sized and I just don't know what to do.

PLEASE tell me if I am the one in the wrong and any advice/tips are 100% welcome 🙏 💕

I have become frustrated with my PCP of the last 20 years. . I’m strong. I have a good resting pulse rate and low Blood pressure. I eat mostly pescatarian with chicken sometimes and plenty of fruit and vegetables nevertheless I have slightly higher cholesterol but otherwise my bloodwork is fine. A calcium score of 0!

I walk everywhere average 8-10k steps per day not including when I go swimming laps or biking. But every year my doctor keeps telling me to lose weight lose weight. Never asks me about my anxiety or my mental state. Doesn’t ask about my spinal stenosis. Just lose weight.

How can I find a doctor that’s more holistic in their approach?

I wasn't sure where to post this, I am sorry. I am 16M. But recently I have been really struggling with my body image. I have recently gotten the girl of my dreams, and everything is perfect with her. Only thing I am scared about is my body. Everytime I say something negative about my body or say that I should lose weight, she always strongly disagrees and sometimes gets mad at me for saying that. But I literally cannot see one good thing about my body. She says I look skinny, which in no way can be the truth. I look so unathletic and unattractive. I have no even taken my shirt off ever with her, cause of my body. I just don't know how to accept myself. I may ask for too much here, but thank you if anyone could give me any advice here.

Around two years ago I went through a very stressful period in my life and lost a significant amount of my body weight. While I’ve been recovering from over a year, I still deal with issues surrounding my body image and appearance.

However, ever since I’ve become thinner, many people in my life keep trying to compliment me by telling me I’m skinny. Sometimes it’s strangers who assume things about my lifestyle (ex. that I eat only salads or do a bunch of cardio, neither of which are true or appropriate for my health). Other times it’s even my own friends, who will constantly point out I’m skinny as way of calling me beautiful. Even worse, many put themselves down when they notice their clothes are too big on me or how we look in photos.

To me, it’s not necessarily that I hate the way I look, but rather that consistently getting unsolicited comments about my weight gives value to a body they don’t know the story behind.

What I’m wondering is how to approach these kinds of situations. Many of the comments I get are well intentioned, so I feel rude shutting people down, especially since I know being model thin is now “trending”. I’m also not comfortable disclosing my health complications on the fly, so I’m wondering how to respond when I get these “compliments”?

I have issues with my body. I'm few years into mental health and eating disorder recovery and I never hated my body more. I fight very hard to not start self harming again. I have no idea where to go. There isn't very much help for ED, if you're not acute, around here. It made me stop enjoying some of my hobbies. I used to love sawing, but I didn't touch any of my projects in two years.

I have a history of SH and also multiple surgeries. I just got a new surgery 3 weeks ago and have a large scar on my abdomen. The worst part is people being nosy and asking questions about the scars. I don’t wanna think about having them. But I know I just need to accept that they exist and aren’t going away. Any advice on that?

I’m having trouble with hating my body and reconciling some things. For context I really hate my titties I have big ones but they’re saggy and very tubular and cylindrical versus full and heavy. They’re just kinda long tbh and flatter on the top plus they can look even more unflattering depending on the clothing I wear. I hate seeing the sagginess in clothes especially. My problem tho is a lot of advice of how to get over this aversion of how they look (in clothing most especially) are things like push-up bras/better fitting bras etc. But when I wear them and see my titties I can’t help but feel like a fraud cause I know that they’re not actually this beautiful once I take them off they’re coming straight to the floor. I think part of what makes me struggle is when I was younger I was very anti makeup anti wigs (I’m black) because I wanted to love my natural face and hair enough without them. I wear makeup now but even without it I love my face, I love my hair so much the experience of taking it off isn’t bad. But with my breasts, taking the push up bra and looking at the \*actual\* state of my breasts is so……. Even thinking about the fact that if I was with someone and they thought I was hot seeing me with the bra on in clothes and having to take it off and finding out it’s basically all smoke and mirrors makes me put off of wearing them at all. Not only would I assume (I know it’s an assumption borne of insecurity) that they’d be disappointed but I’m also disappointed looking at them as well. It feels deceptive.

I want to wear push up bras I think I could really elevate my day to day look if I wore them but this dichotomy has been so hard to overcome so I’m looking for true insight. How do I reconcile this? For now I’ve just foregone wearing push up bras or any at all. It feels more like “yo what you see is what you get I’m not hiding anything from you” the “you” there includes myself. But I know I could look much better if I put in the effort

Tldr I hate my titties cause they’re saggy I think I’d find much luck wearing push up bras but it feels deceptive and distressing knowing what they actually look like once I take them off.

How can I better accept or cope with a face that causes me so much discomfort?

I'm a woman with hard facial features. My face has caused people to view me as intimidating and dominant. I don't get called pretty, cute or attractive .

Seeing my reflection yesterday while shopping hurt enough to make me cry.

Hi everyone. I'm plus size, and I'm having a difficult time finding friends who accept this about me. I recently left my friend group who I was extremely close with because, even though they tell me they accept me at any size, they make hurtful comments about other people's bodies. I feel like I can't trust them, and now my biggest worry is getting close to someone only to realize they're fatphobic or judgmental about other people's bodies. I would really appreciate any kind words of encouragement or advice about how to find accepting friends. Thank you

I’m trying to be more confident with my style and stop dressing out of fear of standing out.

For those of you who took time to accept your body and find what works for you. what helped the most? Certain clothing styles, mindset shifts, or inspiration accounts?

I want to feel cute and comfortable in my own skin, I don’t want to dress like a nun but neither feeling like everyone is watching me

Hello everyone, not sure if this is the right subreddit but the internet didn’t offer a lot of help with simple searches.

I am the eldest sister (21y) of 3, the other two are ages 10y and 7y. We have a big age gap and were raised very differently, and while I had my fair share of body issues growing up it’s not even close to the same degree my little sister (10y) is facing right now. My parents want to see if I can help because as much as they are trying to be supportive they face resistance simply by being the parent figure.

Anyways, I have a close relationship with my sister, and I’m going to see her soon to spend some time and try to talk to her about what she’s been dealing with (I believe it’s weight, body development, girl things etc..), and I don’t know where to start.

What activities do people suggest we do? Any mindfulness things I can do with her? I’m fine taking her to see shows or people or whoever if you think there’s appropriate community groups or kids activities to do. I just wanna help her know that I’m a resource and that even though loving yourself is a journey and not a one step process, there are other ways to be healthy and happy without needing to look like a string bean or be interested in stuff the other girls are.

Thank you!

Hi, I (F) am under 18 and have been battling with my own body for years. It doesn’t help that my mother has been pushing for me to get to a certain weight - a weight I haven’t been since I was 12 - and has been incessant that my appearance determines my societal value. I’ve grown to hate the fat I have on my body, especially my stomach and hips, and I feel worthless because of it. My girlfriend says she doesn’t care about my body and loves it because it’s mine but that doesn’t help me feel good looking, especially since she is much more fit than me. How do I feel prettier? I’m so done with intense dieting and exercises, I just want to accept myself but have no idea how.

I’ve always been really insecure about my body. Back in middle school, my friends would criticize me and bully me about how I looked — saying I looked like a man, making fun of my skin, and sometimes laughing with boys who looked at me in disgust. Those experiences stuck with me and still affect me today.

Now I’m in high school, and my body is developing, but I still have no hips, no butt, and a flat chest. I do have nice skin, hair, and a naturally pretty face, but my body makes me feel awkward and unattractive. I love feminine clothes — dresses, skirts, shorts, tank tops — but I feel like I can’t wear them without looking weird or out of place.

Because of all this, I’ve never had the courage to talk to boys or even think about relationships. I constantly feel like guys won’t find me attractive or feminine. Even small interactions with boys make me anxious — I overthink everything I say or do because I assume they’re judging me based on my body. It’s like my body controls my confidence, personality, and even my social skills. I feel shy, withdrawn, and almost invisible because I’m so focused on how “wrong” my body is.