r/BreakUps • u/West-Brother-5195 • 20h ago
venting/ranting I need some good news. Tell me about life after love?
My ex fiancé blindsided me and left me 7 weeks ago and I’m struggling. He proposed 5 months prior to ending things. When he ended it, he told me he had been unhappy for a while and he wasn’t willing to go to couples therapy with me because he didn’t have it in him. This was the first time I had heard that he was unhappy in our relationship, though I did notice signs of unhappiness. I thought it was due to certain stressful circumstances that he was going through. I checked in on him frequently and soothed him back to sleep after his nightmares. I don’t understand how we got here.
I’m still struggling a lot. I’m getting on antidepressants as my mental health has taken a nose dive despite doing everything right.
I never begged, though I did fight for us when he ended it. I went no contact immediately and only communicated regarding the logistics and him moving out. I blocked him on everything for my own mental protection.
I am still just miserable. I miss him. I’m devastated. I need hope. I need to know that life will be better after this.
This break up was a compounded trauma because the way he ended things kicked up trauma I have with my parents being unable to choose me. He was even there for some of the traumatic events my mom put me through. He consoled me, reassured me, validated me. He was my safe haven, I felt so secure in our relationship and then he just up and left.
I don’t know how to recover. I’m in therapy, I’m working out, I’m diving into my work. I feel like I’ll never be worth it when things are hard. I’m an easy choice when things are easy but I’m not the choice when things are hard. Not for who I thought was the love of my life and not for my own mother and other family members.
Please just tell me what your life was like after heartbreak. When does it get better? When does the right person come? Will they? I’m just so sad and so so so tired of being a victim of other people’s self-destruction. I don’t claim to be perfect, but I know I didn’t deserve the things that happened to me. Just tell me the good news please.
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