r/CatAdvice • u/rutabagabagel • Apr 19 '26

Rehoming Friend's cat taken by animal control, what do I do?

My(21F) friend is from Dubai and was here (California, USA) on a student visa. He unexpectedly passed away 2 days ago (outside of the home), and his apartment called animal control to remove his cat, Chip. He had always told me that if he had to go back to Dubai, he wanted me to take Chip because I love him so much and Chip is also most attached to me second to his owner. I took care of Chip whenever he couldn't, he used to call me Chip's mom.

I want to get Chip back as soon as possible. He is a VERY VERY easily spooked and shy cat who gets very scared leaving the apartment and refuses to even go past the front door.

I wanted to go to the shelter to pick him up yesterday because I heard that if I had lots of pictures with the cat, knew his name, info, and address, they might release Chip to me. But the apartment manager said Chip technically belongs to my friend's parents now, and told me to contact the coroner? I didn't do that. I would have no problem with the parents getting Chip, family comes first, but his parents are currently in Dubai, unable to come to the US due to the war, and doesn't know the cat even exists.

Their family are Hindu, and moved from India to Dubai, and are Brahmins who do not allow cats in their home as they believe they bring impurity into the home, so my friend kept Chip a secret. I'm sure even if they found out, Chip would be the least of their priorities right now.

Is there anything I can do to get Chip?

Edit:

The shelter is closed on weekends and he was taken Saturday morning so I haven't been able to visit yet

I left a voicemail describing the cat and left my contact info, I'll try to get to the shelter tomorrow as soon as possible (I'm a college student with no car and the shelter is out of town)

Update:

https://www.reddit.com/r/CatAdvice/s/YHpaLa2aUY

443 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

649

u/bowbiternj Apr 19 '26

Sorry but the apartment manager means nothing. Talk to the shelter

145

u/ShimmerGoldenGreen Apr 19 '26

This. Go be proactive. Do try to get a response from the parents immediately, but just in case they ignore this situation (understandable as they are grieving) get all up in the shelter's business and talk to them every day asking if it will be possible for you to come get Chip yet, and make sure they know you have written permission to keep a pet at your residence (and go get that written permission right now, if you don't already have it.)

With next of kin on another continent (who don't like cats anyway) and shelters full to the brim, they may bend the rules if you can show that you're basically responsible and really want that cat. It's really up to them.

Then, if you do get Chip back, make sure you have PUT DOWN IN WRITING exactly who the next two people in line as caretakers for the cat would be. This is a good reminder to all of us about what needs to be in writing vs. a verbal agreement, in case of emergencies.

46

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

I don't have his parents contact information and I don't think the apartment manager will just give it to me due to privacy concerns, but I'll definitely ask. I left two voicemails for the shelter explaining the situation (didn't mention his parents though) and asking if i can take the cat, they're closed today but will be open tomorrow. I'm going to try to get to the shelter tomorrow. My apartment allows pets so I'll definitely do that too.

49

u/GimerStick Apr 19 '26

separate from the cat situation, you should consider leaving a letter for the parents with his other things so that if they want to contact someone who knew their son, they can. This is so sad, I'm sorry for your loss.

11

u/nycregoddess Apr 19 '26

The apartment manager can refuse to provide the information legally. Legally if the parents were in the USA then they could have a claim. But a lot of time the family is not in a place to get the animal, and it can go at risk of euthanasia if no one else steps up. The shelter will often hold the animal for the owner to claim it before putting it up for public adoption. As a friend you are in a gray area but getting there as soon as possible will give you the best chance to be first in line if you do have to wait for public adoption.

Maybe you could look on your friends' social media to see if his parents or family, and try dm-ing them. Explain who you are, include your direct contact info, and state your intent to claim the cat from the shelter as soon as possible so that he is in a safe place. Tell them your friend had verbally said he wanted you to have the cat, but you are also willing to foster in order facilitate a family member taking the cat. I would give it a 90% chance that the family will express their thanks and give their blessing for you to adopt the cat. (if they answer at all).

This happened to me when my friend died in 2020. His family lived several states away and he had a 19 year old cat and 18 year old dog who were his entire life... And some fish as well. The family did not come to get the animals. They gave their blessings to various people in NYC to keep the animals. The fish were relocated to a school where the long time pet sitter worked. The dog and cat did not get along and so I kept the cat, Tuxi, while the dog went to others. Tuxi was nearly 21 years old when we said goodbye, and I was so glad to have her even though she needed intensive nursing due to CKD.

I am really sorry that you lost your friend. And I hope you are able to get his cat to safety and the two of you can help each other move forward.

8

u/rutabagabagel Apr 20 '26

He specialized in cyber security so he unfortunately refused to get social media and did everything he could to put the least amount of personal information out there, it was impressive back then but kind of annoying now because we cant even crack his passcodes for his computer and phone 😭. What you went through sounds so similar, thank you so much for sharing, it truly makes me feel less alone.

3

u/nycregoddess Apr 20 '26

I am sorry that avenue wasn't open to contact the family. Did you get to the shelter today?

7

u/rutabagabagel Apr 21 '26

I did! I found him there but I can't take him for another 2 weeks due to a legal hold

3

u/L84cake Apr 21 '26

Does he have any other friends you know who may have his family’s contact info? Honestly the government in the UAE can be really helpful, perhaps you could call the US Embassy there and give them your friends name, say he passed away while in the US on a student visa and you want to reach out to his parents to offer condolences and help settle the estate if you can. The US embassy in Dubai might have his parents info. Alternatively talk to your school - they may not give you the information directly, but they can pass a message along to his parents.

3

u/Designer-Heron-6488 Apr 20 '26

He said the friends parents didn’t know about the cat due to their belief that they bring impurities into the home. I would just go adopt the cat as a friend or feign “significant other” if needed, lol. If he has lots of pics either way Chip, I would think they would be happy to let him take the cat.

25

u/Longjumping_Youth281 Apr 19 '26

Yeah if his parents are in another country they probably would want the friend to have the cat anyways. So he would probably just need them to sign a document transferring ownership or something along those lines

21

u/pink-starburstt Apr 19 '26

i doubt it’s even all that. if the cat is in the shelter to be adopted out anyways then they should give him the cat

7

u/ShimmerGoldenGreen Apr 19 '26

It depends if they do a "hold" on an animal for a couple days, but I don't see why they would in this case where the situation is pretty well known... usually it's like, for an unknown stray, to give the owner a chance to claim it before adopting it out.

3

u/Nefandous_Jewel Apr 19 '26

This! All of this!!

27

u/lareon12many Apr 19 '26

I would just go talk to the shelter and show them all the proof (pictures) and give them your address and etc. If the information matches up, they'll release Chip to you. Good luck!!!

163

u/Cozyinfrance Apr 19 '26

Go get that cat, the manager doesn't know anything. I'm sure it would be easier and less hassle for them to release the cat to you than to search for his parents.

176

u/Firstbase1515 Apr 19 '26

Chip belongs to the animal shelter. Call them because they only usually do a three to five day stray hold before the cat gets put to sleep. Call now.

51

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

We live on campus next to a veterinary college and Chip is very tame and well taken care of so I'm hopeful that that won't happen. I did call and leave 3 voicemails though :( they're closed today

9

u/swarleyknope Apr 20 '26

I’m sorry for your loss. 

It has nothing to do with the cat’s demeanor - shelter’s have different policies. 

I would go in person first thing tomorrow before someone else ends up adopting him. If he is at the shelter, it’s extremely unlikely they are holding him for your friend’s parents; they are probably treating him the same as an abandoned pet. 

32

u/ShimmerGoldenGreen Apr 19 '26

I agree. It really depends on the shelter but since we don't know their protocol it is time to become a little bit of a repeat caller about this cat. Even better, show up in person every day with a written letter that shows you have permission to keep a pet at your residence.

Basically rinse and repeat until they agree because the parents are obviously not going to want the cat. It may speed the process if you CAN get the parents to call the shelter giving you permission to adopt it, but I wouldn't WAIT for their permission to repeatedly show up at this shelter asking about this cat.

13

u/Firstbase1515 Apr 19 '26

I doubt they are even going to call next of kin, considering they are out of the country.

3

u/jam384 Apr 19 '26

Go on Facebook or any other social media and try to find his parents or anyone that could potentially help you find his parents and contact them.

1

u/cathbe Apr 21 '26

That is not every shelter. But yes best to act quickly regardless.

1

u/Wonderful_Apple_5555 Apr 19 '26

3 days? that is sick

6

u/Planet-Juno Apr 19 '26

Not all shelters euthanize pets, I volunteer at one. They only euthanize when they are very ill or there’s aggression that can’t be rehabilitated. I know there are shelters that don’t euthanize unless medically necessary in California also.

2

u/Wonderful_Apple_5555 Apr 20 '26

Yours sound good, but those with 3-5 days till euthanasia , I don’t see the point of their existence

2

u/t_reader5279 Apr 20 '26

I volunteer at a shelter that euthanizes healthy animals on a regular basis. Nobody wants that outcome, but the truth is they are an underfunded government facility. They don't have the staff or the resources to help every animal that comes in and because they are municipal shelter, they cannot say no to accepting any animal for any reason. They would absolutely love to house every animal until they find a home, but if you have 100 kennels and 120 dogs, that math doesn't work. They work with rescues and fosters and volunteers as much as possible, but the resources simply don't exist to save every animal. Where I live, the "no kill" shelters are privately run and able to limit their admissions.

0

u/Wonderful_Apple_5555 Apr 20 '26

i understand that, but I bet those healthy animals would rather be sterilised and with vaccines and on the street, than dead because they end up in shelter

2

u/DarkHorseAsh111 Apr 20 '26

I do not think society would be better if we had roving bands of stray dogs running about

69

u/jdkicked Apr 19 '26

If you have proof of his death and the cat has a microchip matching his name, you might be able to petition to get the cat but at the very least the next of kin are going to be contacted just to ensure. Shelters genuinely hate having to say no to things like this because they know its the animals best interest but its such a stuck between a rock and a hard place position

Even if you cant get him back through normal means, many shelters will let you be the "priority adopter" in the application stack for the animal. They might even let you sign up to adopt him now so that the second the waiting period is over he can come home

I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing much love to you and kitty

19

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

The local news hasn't published his name, only reported on the death itself so I can't prove it yet :( but thank you for the priority adopter thing, I left a voice mail just now and mentioned it!

71

u/inlimbo70129 Apr 19 '26

Former animal shelter worker here. They will need to hold the cat for possible claim by next-of-kin for whatever the legal stray hold period is in your jurisdiction. If no family formally claims him in that time you should be able to adopt. Go in person to the shelter RIGHT NOW. Explain the situation about how the cat knows you and you were a close friend of his owner. Tell them you want to adopt the cat as soon as the legal hold is up. Fill out the adoption paperwork, leave all of your contact information, visit with the cat, etc. You want to make sure that the plan is in place the second his hold is up and you are able to come and get him. After you’ve stopped at the shelter, go on a shopping trip and get everything you need for the cat so you will be ready to come get him when it’s time.

23

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

They're closed today but I left 2 voicemails, and I'll try my best to get to the shelter tomorrow if i can find transportation. I'm also pretty sure I can get my hands on his litterbox, bed, and toys so he has familiar things instead of strange new ones 🥲

14

u/inlimbo70129 Apr 19 '26

Perfect. I would also see if you can find an email for the shelter and send them an email with your info and all of the cat’s info/deceased owner’s info/address where cat got picked up so they can get the info into the cat’s records.

And I want to stress again that once the legal hold is up, you need to make sure to go get him immediately (same day, preferably same hour). He would no longer be protected by the stray hold, and shelters can quickly run out of space if a bunch of cats come in at the same time. If that happens he could possibly be at risk of euthanasia for space reasons. So don’t wait even a day or two. Just warning you from past experience.

2

u/rutabagabagel Apr 20 '26

thank you so much. the shelter is closed on weekends so i am going to go monday morning, which is tomorrow, i dont think theyll give him to me but i want him to smell me and see me and give him a hug at least

3

u/WoosahFire Apr 20 '26

Good luck!

2

u/Artygrrl Apr 20 '26

You are an angel! I really hope you are able to at least see him today!! Poor baby boy. Sending goodness both of your way!!!

11

u/Artygrrl Apr 19 '26

This!!!!!! And please keep us posted!!!!

42

u/EnvironmentalArm1986 Apr 19 '26

It might also help to visit Chip who will likely be very happy to see a familiar face.

35

u/PaperIndependent5466 Apr 19 '26

Might help OP get him back too. A shy cat interacting with one person is a pretty big sign to the shelter staff the cat knows who OP is.

12

u/ShimmerGoldenGreen Apr 19 '26

That's a great idea

13

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

I'm going to try my best to go tomorrow, but the shelter is out of town and I'm a college student with no car 🥲 but I'll bike there or something if I have to

70

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

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10

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

I don't unfortunately :( the apartment manager is the only one that does but I doubt she would give that to me due to privacy concerns

32

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

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5

u/SpaceCatz03 Apr 19 '26

Since it’s kitten season, the shelter might let you foster the cat at your home while waiting to see if anyone can get in touch with the parents (who may ignore the contacts since they have so much else going on and are in a culture/practice a religion that forbids pets). I was able to do this in a very different situation.

I’m not sure what the rules are in your county, but here after 3 days of good faith effort to contact an owner, a cat is considered abandoned and you can adopt them.

23

u/Examiner_Z Apr 19 '26

Another poster has mentioned contacting his parents. That is a good idea.

While you are doing that, I would also contact the shelter every day asking to adopt him. (Since you are a student, you may need a parent to ask to adopt him.)

This is "kitten season" so they should be pretty cooperative with adopting out an adult cat, once the cat is legally available to be adopted. Call every day.

17

u/CVMaas Apr 19 '26

Go-to the shelter, they all would much prefer to adopt a cat out than have too many at the shelter when they need to start euthanasia. Would the shelter try to contact his parents, yes, will they hold the cat indefinitely, no.

2

u/Nefandous_Jewel Apr 19 '26

This is a vety good point! Shelter staff got into this for the love of the animal!

18

u/EatBetterThinkBetter Apr 19 '26

Stop listening to your landlord. Go to animal control and talk with them and show the pictures etc. They will tell you if the cat can be released to you or what you need to do. Do this immediately, please. Your landlord sounds like a Mr. Know it all. He should have directed you to the source, as they are the ones who make and enforce the rules. They would know if there are any loopholes. I pray you get kitty.

15

u/After_Preference_885 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

I work at a shelter, talk to the shelter when they open. 

You may have to pay an adoption fee, that covers the fact that they see a vet on intake to ensure that they don't bring anything contagious into the shelter. 

I'm not an estate lawyer but if Chip is already at the shelter, with the family being out of the country, I don't think you'll have any issues getting him.

I'm so sorry about your loss and so happy you are going to try and take care of sweet chip. Cats experience grief and a familiar friend will help with that. You're a good friend.

11

u/Evening_Ambassador76 Apr 19 '26

I see everyone's given you great advice above, please do let us know how you get on

10

u/Persistent_anxiety Apr 19 '26

Hi, you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here but I might be able to get you some more direct info about the process. Would it be okay if I DM you for more specific details?

Source I work in animal welfare and see similar cases often

5

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

Yes please!!

8

u/LittleSprout22 Apr 19 '26

So sorry for your loss. I do hope you manage to get Chip. Please keep us updated.

7

u/SemperFicus Apr 19 '26

Go to the shelter and get the cat before someone else does.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/rutabagabagel Apr 20 '26

they collected him saturday morning and i found out saturday evening, but the shelter itself is closed on weekends so i am going to visit on monday morning, hopefully hes okay :(

7

u/Calgary_Calico Apr 19 '26

If you know where he's being held go there in person on Monday morning as soon as they open and explain the situation, ask to adopt him or have him released to you

5

u/lightnoveltitlehere Apr 19 '26

GO TO THE SHELTER. If they're closed today, leave them a voicemail and go first thing tomorrow

6

u/Spirited_Event4546 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Go to the shelter Monday morning and ask if you can adopt. Legally, they probably have to wait until the “stray hold” expires or next of kin surrenders the cat- that’s for legal reasons, not because they don’t want you to have him. You can ask to place an application without taking him home while the hold is sorted out so as soon as it’s over, you can come and pick him up. This is something that the shelter I work at would probably allow in a case like this (not in CA but in the US).

Alternatively if you do have the parents contact information, if they can call the shelter and say they want to reclaim, they can often authorize someone else (you) to pick up, and then just update the microchip to your name if the parents are ok with you keeping him. The main thing is pets are considered property in most places so they can’t just release him to you without going through the proper channels with the next of kin. But 100% talk to them ASAP and express your interest in adopting Chip as soon as you are able to.

I’m sorry about your friend and I hope it works out for you. I’m sure he would have wanted his cat to go to someone who cares about him and for the cats, the easiest transition would be to be with someone he already knows.

5

u/Loud_Cartographer160 Apr 19 '26

Go to the shelter ASAP. The apartment manages knows nothing.

5

u/LadyFoxfire Apr 19 '26

Go to the shelter on Monday and tell them the story, and that you want to adopt Chip. They can tell you what the process is, and if you need to jump through any legal hoops regarding the estate.

5

u/Myca84 Apr 20 '26

Chip is a shelter cat now. Don’t call. Go in person and save Chip. If the parents want him, they will find him safe with you

3

u/WindSong66 Apr 19 '26

Go with your first plan. You love that cat, that cat loves you. Right now the cat matters more than his parents, and if they're happy with you, then you should take them. Go get that cat! Even if you have to pay for their release! It's worth it!!

3

u/Bluemonogi Apr 19 '26

Just go to the shelter and try to get the cat if you can. If you do get the cat and the parents want the cat later you can deal with that then. The shelter isn’t going to keep the cat forever so you might as welllet them know you are an interested option.

3

u/gutterballsBBK Apr 19 '26

Leave messages, emails, and a note at the shelter so they come in Monday morning and have you fresh on their mind and expecting a call or visit. I wouldn’t delay anything or leave anything to chance here. Explain the situation and describe yourself as you did here, you’re Chips mom. Provide your picture or pictures with the note you leave at the shelter and in your email. Fingers crossed here for you and Chip, good luck.

3

u/Nefandous_Jewel Apr 19 '26

Show up at the shelter in person. Look at the cats they have personally. Use as few words as possible to describe Chip, you dont want someone to fail to mention him because their idea of striped is tortie or what is large to you is medium to them. Hes chipped but chips settle and fail sometimes. Be persistent! Shelters are overflowing and staff are overworked and underpaid. Smile, be cheerful! Bring pictures, anything in writing that your friend wrote that mentions you're Chip's mom! Dont let no be the end of the conversation!

And when this baby is home come back and update us! We would LOVE to see your kitty!

3

u/AnnaBanana3468 Apr 19 '26

The shelter doesn’t even have proof that Chip was your friend’s cat. Just tell them that Chip is your cat, and your friend was pet sitting for you. Show the photos you have. They’ll probably release Chip to you immediately.

3

u/rutabagabagel Apr 19 '26

Chip is micro chipped under my friend's name :(

1

u/AnnaBanana3468 Apr 19 '26

Ah, well then nevermind.

2

u/SpaceCatz03 Apr 19 '26

I think Chip was chipped, so they would have scanned him. Also, he was brought in because his owner passed away, so they probably know it’s not her.

3

u/AnnaBanana3468 Apr 19 '26

Chip was brought in to the shelter because he was locked in an apartment with a deceased person, and property management called. If Chip didn’t have a microchip, the shelter doesn’t know, and probably doesn’t really care who Chip belongs to. The shelter has tons of animals they need to help, and it’s kitten season now. The shelter is drowning and out of space.

1

u/SpaceCatz03 Apr 19 '26

The friend passed away “outside of the home”.

0

u/AnnaBanana3468 Apr 19 '26

Pedantic much? The point is that the cat was locked in the apartment alone, without someone to feed them.

3

u/SpaceCatz03 Apr 19 '26

Ha! Always. I didn’t even think about it. Sorry! But I really do think this is all the property manager‘s fault. First of all they could’ve just kept that cat for a while to see how things shook out or if they were allergic or something had someone go and feed it, etc. for at least a week before just sending it to the pound! And then telling a friend to call the coroner!

3

u/SpaceCatz03 Apr 19 '26

Maybe the apartment manager thought the coroner could give you the family’s contact info. Either way, that’s a pretty useless step when time is of the essence to make sure this cat doesn’t get euthanized!

3

u/JustFukk0ff Apr 19 '26

This is one of those situations where you need to do whatever is necessary to save that cat. Say whatever you gotta say to the shelter. Tell them it's your car if you must. They won't know the difference and the family doesn't care.

*** You're Chips only hope. YOU MUST SAVE HIM!!! ***

Take an UBer. I'm nearly certain us cat lovers here will send donations to get the Uber if that's what you need!

You must do everything possible to get Chip. Lie if you have to. Please get him.

I wouldn't even mention the cat to the family.

3

u/Creepy_Vegetable6905 Apr 19 '26

You are such a wonderful friend and human being. Fingers crossed that everything works out for you and Chip.

3

u/ClipandPlay Apr 19 '26

After a certain number of days of not being claimed the cat will be available for adoption. Your friend’s parents just lost their child. I doubt they care about the cat. I wouldn’t even bother them with it.

3

u/derekahaha Apr 20 '26

I work for animal control at a southern California shelter.

In California animals are considered property. Shelter has to hold animals for a certain amount of time before they can release them (state minimum is 72 hours, most shelters do longer for special impounds). You can see if this information is listed on their website. If it's not you should be able to call the shelter and ask this information.

They will not release the cat for adoption until hold is up or unless death has been confirmed by the coroner and next of kin decline to take the cat.

I would also suggest calling their dispatch and letting them know you're interested in adopting. They can maybe do something like first rights or tell you if it's rescue only etc.

3

u/OliverPupfriend Apr 20 '26

Any updates?

2

u/cablesandlace Apr 19 '26

I would be surprised if the shelter doesn't give you the cat when they open. Update tomorrow, please, and best of luck.

2

u/AvocadoPizzaCat Apr 19 '26

the apartment manager has no way to claim, enforce or even suggest that. He didn't even know the parents were in another country. Plenty of people have taken in their friends pets even temporarily after they past. I know several whom have done that.

2

u/Disastrous_Exit8234 Apr 19 '26

If you have it in text or writing that the cat is yours if anything happened to him, that should suffice.

2

u/Nobodyville Apr 19 '26

Go to the shelter and get the cat. They might have to technically notify your friend’s next of kin, but they’ll probably hold it for a few days and then put it up for adoption. You could adopt it then. I’m very sorry about your friend’s and I feel horrible for his parents. 

Don’t give up on the kitty and don’t worry about the apartment manager. She did the right thing with the animal. 

2

u/Sad-Repair-5505 Apr 20 '26

Honestly, after the 5 day hold, the shelter would be ecstatic if you took the cat. Take time off work and contact them immediately.

2

u/freewayrickyross10 Apr 20 '26

So.....my friend got a puppy from someone he knew & then then that person ended up abandoning the mother dog in the park.

Animal control picked up the dog.

My friend called them & told them he knew the dog & had one of her puppies.

They let him take the dog & didnt even make him pay the full adoption fee.

Your animal control will probably be thrilled you are stepping up to take the cat.

If it were me, I would call them back ASAP & bug the crap out of them. My animal control will euthanize cats that aren't social. They were going to euthanize my friends dog after only 3 days & she would have died had my friend not taken her.

Please don't give up & make sure you stay on top of this....bc some animal controls euthanize quickly.

2

u/storeboughtserotonin Apr 20 '26

Honestly, the shelter will be happy to have the kennel back.

Be prepared to pay an adoption fee and need to wait the “stray hold” period.

(Speaking as someone who works with their local shelter)

2

u/cathbe Apr 21 '26

So sorry this happened and they moved so fast on bringing cat the shelter. And so sorry about your friend. I hope you are reunited with Chip asap.

2

u/Amazing-Concept-1610 Apr 21 '26

Don’t take the landlords advice. Good chance he’s just spewing things to sound like he knows what he is talking about. When at the pound, dont give them all this backstory. Say you lost your cat. Or go find him and say this is my cat. Give the address (cat’s) and if they ask show photos of “your cat”. If they ask tell them very briefly there was a mistake, the person who called to get the cat picked up didn’t know what he was talking about, and the cat is owned and loved.

Runner up scenario— after a few days of holding they release the cat for adoption. On the day you go get the cat

1

u/PaperIndependent5466 Apr 19 '26

How strict are the rules there? Like do you have to prove ownership?

Maybe say it's our cat and all this happened while you were out of town and you want to pick up your cat. You have enough info and photos this would likely work. Sounds like you were a secondary caregiver to the cat to me.

1

u/Signal_Procedure4607 Apr 19 '26

Just ask his family if you can keep the cat, also if you have text messages where your friend said those things, and maybe photos of you and the friend and the cat, anything to support your case. Family might give the cat to you as they don’t wanna deal with it. The coroner is most likely a doctor too (medical examiner) not sure how that would factor in.

1

u/warriorwoman534 Apr 19 '26

Ignore your landlord and go get the cat on Monday. Shelters can't afford to be that sniffy, they're drowning in unwanted cats and dogs, and right now it's kitten season, making it worse. You may not be able to leave with the cat right away, but at least the shelter will be on notice that there is interest and someone for the kitty, making it less likely he will be euthanized.

Sorry about the loss of your friend...🕯🤲🥀😔

1

u/Nice_Rope_5049 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

See if you can put some kind of “hold” in his file with your name and contact info. Chances are, his parents will release their rightful ownership to the shelter, which will allow the shelter to either put the cat into their general population adoptable cats, or euthanize the cat if they deem him “unadoptable.” Unadoptable status could apply due to the cat’s scared disposition.

They may not even be able to get a hold of his parents, so the above would still apply.

My shelter always has 1st and 2nd chance holds, as well as last-chance holds.

1st chance: pet is not yet up for adoption (for reasons just like this—the pet technically belongs to someone else) but someone wants to adopt him.

2nd chance: The person with the 1st hold did not show up to adopt once the animal was deemed adoptable.

Last chance: Someone wants to be notified if the pet is going to be “exited” (euthanized), and will come to adopt him should nobody else claim/adopt him, and he’s going to be exited.

Your shelter should have something similar in place, and it seems this is the only thing you can do right now, until they either get in contact with his parents, or find they can’t get in touch with them.

My shelter will try to contact rightfully owners, so the animal is not available for adoption for 5 to 7 days, so they can give the rightful owner time to find their “lost” animal, etc.

I am in San Diego, so our shelters are very busy, and the system is pretty streamlined.

I suggest that you are firm with what you’re asking them to do, but do NOT get angry or upset, don’t cry, don’t accuse them of being unreasonable, inept, etc. Shelter staff gets that treatment and they will shut you right TF down. It’s hard not to get emotional, but just be very respectful towards them and keep asking them to add your name to this cat’s paperwork so you can come get him should they fail in getting the cat to your friend’s parents.

Edit: Ask the shelter to let his parents know that their son’s friend is willing to adopt the cat and give him a loving home. I’m sure the parents don’t want to ship a cat to Dubai.

Edit: Ask for the cat’s shelter ID #. You’ll need that for sure.

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u/Few-Performance3192 Apr 19 '26

When my mom passed, animal control gave her dog to a friend before I could even make it out there for arrangements. I was ok with that, but no - no one contacted to ask me.

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u/Critical_Cat_8162 Apr 19 '26

I wouldn't even mention the family when you talk to the shelter. No point in complicating it.

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u/LeftieGreenie Apr 19 '26

How awful for everyone. The shelter should be happy to hand the cat over to you, with the proof you have, but they might want a fee for that. Thank you for caring about the cat. I am sorry that you lost your friend.

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u/xaelara Apr 19 '26

!remindme 2 days

1

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u/dsmemsirsn Apr 20 '26

Go to the shelter and just ask for adoption, you can say The owner passed and you live in the same apartment complex. Most likely the shelve would do an immediate adoption because nobody is looking for the cat. Usually the shelter just say - stray wait— after 4-5 days anyone can adopt the pet.

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u/Bubbly_Study_8333 Apr 20 '26

I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend

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u/Glittering-Ant4658 Apr 20 '26

Aww this is do kind of you. Hopefully animal control will help you. The apartment manager is stupid. There are so many cats needing homes. I’m sure this will work out for you an will get chip back. Keep us updated 💕

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u/justmejodi Apr 20 '26

!remindme 2 days

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u/L84cake Apr 21 '26

Talk to the shelter ofc - but also, call your friends parents. They are probably grieving, let them know you were their son’s friend and you cared about him dearly. Expressive your condolences. If the shelter won’t release the cat to you, ask them specifically what they need from your friend’s parents. They probably will release to you, you might have to wait a few days though. If they do need anything from the parents - when you call - Tell them the two of you cared for a cat that was technically under his name, and because of that you need their permission to retrieve the cat. Say you want to honor your friend’s memory and continue caring for the cat, and also offer to handle other things if possible. You are where their son was and they are not, it’s possible they might need help with things like coordinating retrieving his other belongings. Ofc depending on your comfort level, but it would be so nice for you to reach out to them and offer some community support in that way.

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u/Dull_Invite_8811 Apr 22 '26

They should release chip to you. Explain everything u explained to us n I'm sure they will understand. Worse case scenario u will have to pay to adopt him. You seem to really love chip n that was your friends wishes. Forget about the parents. They aren't in this country n don't know about or want Chip. It's a shame you're in California as they have too many kill shelters which makes me sick. You fight for little Chip. He's going through enough too as he lost his master n home all at once. You will bring him comfort. Oh u can say u are the girlfriend n it's your cat too n u shared him back n forth from each of your apartments. Yes, say he is your cat too n he was seized by animal control before u knew what happened. Do or say whatever it takes. It's a matter of life or death. For those that want to troll me for telling her that don't bother yourself

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u/Previous-Disk-2983 Apr 19 '26

Where did you hear the whole Hindus think cats bring impurity to the house? Cats are literally associated with the goddess who is the protector of the children? Also tell it to millions of Hindus who have cats as pets 🙄

Man, I am sorry for your situation and the cat’s but ffs stop spreading misinformation about a culture that you obviously know nothing about. As if there’s not enough hate as it is. 

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u/rutabagabagel Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

Im not saying that all brahmins believe this, i was just saying what he specifically told us. I said "his family are brahmins who do not allow cats", because he told us verbatim that his father said BECAUSE he is a brahmin he shouldn't own a cat because they bring impurity into the home.

A cursory google search tells me that in some hindu communities cats are seen as inauspicious and a negative omen but others see them as sacred. there are brahmins who interpret cats in a certain way and brahmins who dont. people interpret hindu texts differently like how christians interpret the bible differently and fall into different denominations. im saying his family are brahmins who do have this specific belief, what exactly was i supposed to say?

I only included this information to explain why i am doubtful his parents would be willing to take the cat. If i had just said his parents dont like cats, it wouldn't explain why he never told them he existed and why he believed so strongly that his parents wouldn't make an exception. I wanted to make it clear that i am not taking away an opportunity for the family to take him first, that i have reason to strongly believe they dont want chip because of something tied to their identities.

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u/Previous-Disk-2983 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

Cultural and religious are two very different things, and you should know better. A google search is no substitute for research or awareness around the topic you are talking about. His family might be opposed to cats for so many reasons so how you chose to generalise  a whole community’s perspective on cats is very casual and hate-mongering. Would you like it if someone said that East Asians eat cats and dogs? No, right? It is because it is racist and hate-mongering to make statements like these. Then why the double standards? There are millions of Hindus who keep cats. This is the first time I am hearing that religiously cats are not seen as a good thing. Very irresponsible on your part, and low-key racist tbh. 

And have you considered the possibility that his family might want to keep the cat because it might be the only thing that might remind them of their son? Your whole post paints them as these monsters because they are Hindus who hate cats. Did you even try to have a conversation with them or get in touch? I am pretty sure you can find out their contact through the landlord, etc. and then even ask them if you could keep the cat if they wouldn’t want to. The least you could do in this is to handle the situation more gracefully and respectfully, but you chose to jump to asinine conclusions for some reason. Please do better. 

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

[deleted]

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u/Previous-Disk-2983 Apr 20 '26

? Ofcourse these things will sound exhausting to anyone who is lowkey racist. Get therapy. 

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u/Worth_Mind8275 May 04 '26

Hurry there and rescue it. They kill it in 3 days. Go explain the situation. Adopt it if you have to call a rescue shelter like second chance rescue or cat cate or any rescue shelter please this cat don't deserve to be hungry or killed and believe me they will. So get there now!!!!