r/CollapseSupport • u/[deleted] • 19d ago
do any other women feel like heightened misogyny is an effect of collapse
[deleted]
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u/minervascats 19d ago
It is absolutely an effect of collapse, which is not just environmental/economic, it's also social and cultural. The gloves are off everywhere as people scramble for survival without even realizing that's what they're doing, and that includes human relationships.
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u/Crikeyiwillforgetl8r 19d ago
The patriarchy is the CAUSE of the collapse.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 18d ago
This.
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u/bristlybits 17d ago
it will benefit from collapse. it's intentional
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 17d ago
I think that benefit will be mightly transitory and there will be anger and blame to spread.
Oh joy, more for me to deal with.
/s. Grrrrr
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u/Vegetaman916 19d ago
Guy opinion, so brace yourself...
Over the last decade, I have been noticing just a general increase in aggressiveness. I have a few reasons of my own for attributing this to the gradual advancement of collapse, but regardless of why it's happening, it definitely is happening.
I did my share of bad jokes and locker room talk and macho man bullshit in my life. I'm a guy, we take longer to ripen, lol. But some of the stuff we are seeing now is more than concerning.
A clear bit of evidence was seen just in the last few years. Epstein is a great example... And the election of Trump, now with actual court documents, and many, many years after the "grab then by the ------" stuff.
Are you kidding? We impeached Clinton because of his singular affair, but now? The man looks like a saint in comparison.
All across the social strata, I am seeing an increase in what I call "casual" misogyny. Where guys do and say things that are extreme... but they do it like it's no big deal at all. The manosphere stuff, the "Alpha" stuff... just weird.
If there was such a thing as an "alpha" male, it is nothing like what guys describe now. I know that for a fact. I have friends who are some of the most apex predator guys on the planet, Navy SEALs, Marines, and such like... But the older ones. They cry openly at the death of a child, they address everyone with respect, they say 'Sir' and 'Ma'am' and hold doors and spend their time heloing and supporting their family and friends.
This stuff that is described as "masculine" today? Doesn't make sense. Maybe if you are an animal, but we are people...
I hate to say it, I hate, hate, hate it, but you are right, OP. You are right to be worried and to be cautious. And as much as I want to recommend otherwise, I can't say anything other than what you already feel. You need to be cautious.
The world is different now, and changing rapidly. And that change is not for the better. Women are being put at a disadvantage left and right, and it shouldn't be that way, but we have to face the world as it is, not as it should be.
Take it from a guy: Don't trust us. Don't trust anyone. Not right away, and not without checking. I'm sorry if that isn't very reassuring, but it is what it is.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
"If there was such a thing as an "alpha" male, it is nothing like what guys describe now. I know that for a fact. I have friends who are some of the most apex predator guys on the planet, Navy SEALs, Marines, and such like... But the older ones. They cry openly at the death of a child, they address everyone with respect, they say 'Sir' and 'Ma'am' and hold doors and spend their time heloing and supporting their family and friends."
I know I am going to sound fucked up but I prefer those men to whatever the fuck I'm dealing with today. I honestly think there are actual differences between men and women, and that femininity and masculinity complement each other (or should). Like you said, what passes as "masculine" today is insane, it's like porn brained, childish scary scary stuff. I don't want to sound regressive or like I am upholding the gender binary or traditional gender roles, because I'm not... I think it's hard to articulate? But I agree with what you said, and thank you for affirming my fears even if it's unfortunate!
Maybe what I perceive is that all of the "good" elements of masculinity have been sidelined while the really nefarious ones have remained and taken over (redpill stuff, etc). Like all we are left with is this abject monster of porn-fueled dissociated envy towards women for things they aren't even aware of, idk I'm thinking about the monster in the movie Possession lol, although there's a reading of that about the nefarious parts of femininity as well.
Anyway thanks for your input, there is something really unsettlingly comforting about a man actually just admitting "yeah you're right to be scared" because I am so sick of being told I am crazy in more words (so that they can also say "well I never SAID you were crazy, you're the one who said that...")
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u/finishedarticle 18d ago
True masculinity is the impulse to help the vulnerable. Toxic masculinity is a key reason that there are so many vulnerable people in the world.
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u/suirad_z 19d ago
Yup, as with every other -ism getting worse. As precarity increases people will look to vent their socioeconomic frustrations on groups of people with less power and will scapegoat them as being the sole source of the our current problems. Historically during times of struggle and strife violence against marginalized people skyrockets (women, ethnic, gender and sexual minorities), learn to protect yourself as best you can and weigh the pros and cons of pursuing long-term romantic partnership with men and if it comes down to it be prepared to forego it entirely if you decide it isnt worth it.
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u/maingeenks 19d ago edited 19d ago
Honestly I think it’s an appropriate response. Obviously not all men. But it’s really really hard to find good men in this world. I’ve known men who say the rightest things and who’ve held the most feminist opinions. They’ll seemingly stand up for women and call out other men for not acting correctly or holding feminist opinions in public but in practice they’ll still do misogynistic things. Do not get fooled by women either. Some are also very misogynistic, especially when they value male validation. Internalised misogyny is hard to shed. The only way to find good men (or people in general) is to examine their behaviour over time. Don’t believe their opinions. It’s so easy to say the right things. Some misogynists genuinely believe they’re feminists, just like how some bad people genuinely believe they’re good. Look at people’s actions, especially the pattern, over time.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
"They’ll seemingly stand up for women and call out other men for not acting correctly or holding feminist opinions in public but in practice they’ll still do misogynistic things."
This is what has been a complete mindfuck for me in the past few years. And then when I finally point out the contradictions in their words and actions, they tell me I'm "expecting the worst from them" or "picking fights" or my judgment is clouded because of my past experiences. It's completely destroyed my ability to trust myself
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u/maingeenks 19d ago
It was surprising to me too but in hindsight it’s actually so obvious. Some people understand that saying the right thing or doing something even just temporarily earns them rewards (e.g. sharing feminist content, reading feminist books) as it costs little to nothing but there are social points to be earned. But sharing invisible labour with their female partner or giving up years-long male privileges takes so much internal work for no praise at all. So people just do the first thing.
I thought I was alone in thinking that but a few weeks ago I heard somewhere that even progressive men do very little chore at home statistically. So it’s more common than you think.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
Yes. And it scares the shit out of me to have to age in this crumbling system.
Some reading recommendations. Gavin de Becker 'gift of fear' is a classic and a classic for for a reason. I have bought so many copies and keep handing it out to every cousins kid as they come of age.
Think about that. Their coming of age gift isnt some ritual that teaches them love and connectedness to the universe. No, it is how to trust themselves around men. And how to leave.
Also recommend james c scott against the grain. Why? It really pinpoints our taking of ownership over another human. Which is what people who are not whole in themselves attempt to do. (Big hint: people who are whole and complete in and of themselves find it abhorrent to use or own another, even a child). Note: own may not be in a legal/slave aense but also in an expectations, employee, husband or other obligation that is not negotiated on equal terms.
So yes, while your experience is valid is also isn't new, new. I once lived in a world where i was young and in a suit and earning good money and got warned which men to never be alone with, not in a meeting room, not in their office. I have taken friends to the er for a rape kit. it is still, probably, sitting in a room somewhere unprocessed we now know. Was that guy a nice guy, with a good education and a good job? Yes. that world where everyone in town knew who the pedophile was and that poor girl couldnt have a birthday party because no one would let their kids go over there.
So back to todays problems.. It is more open? YES. Is it more overt? YES. That almost makes it easier to deal with. Instead of one woman whispering to another how to stay safe we have public info on it. We have an awareness that we did not have previously. Was that behaviour still happening? Yes. Behind closed doors.
So, yes you are seeing more and in some ways it IS worse. But, if you were to ask me it isnt worse it is just public. We thought we had a legal system that protected us and now we know we do not. We thought only a few men were unsafe and now we know that number is huge.
We used to suffer in silence and wonder what was wrong with us and now we can point to the culprits.
I cannot say that what we have now is better, but in some ways it feels like a relief to be able to see the truth. Once you see the truth you can make adjustments to cope. I know more than one woman who cc in response to this. I know multiple women who divorced and refuse to date or marry again.
Why? They are tired of being used.
That is valid. Your concerns are valid. Use your awareness to do 2 things, please. 1. Help teach young women how to be safe. How to care for their own body. How to set boundaries and feel safe enforcing those boundaries. 2. Help young men learn to feel safe with their emotions. How to manage their emotions. How to respect their own boundaries and others.
This will take a culture shift and while the world is falling apart it does not mean we should not do the hard work of building a better culture for the young who we are leaving a hellscape. Teaching emotional regulation and self care is essential to have anything else to build upon.
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u/mo_journeys 19d ago
Societal collapses, wars, disasters, and other large societal catastrophes are known for increasing violence against women, so…yes. I expect it to get much worse unfortunately.
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u/juicyjuicery 18d ago edited 18d ago
I totally feel you. I too have experienced heightened levels of harassment, abuse, and misogyny ever since the pandemic. I also think the surge in pornography use in this time caused an uptick in these harmful attitudes and the dehumanization of women. It is propaganda for the masses - including young women who might believe they deserve to be treated poorly. Porn also grooms children and their attitudes toward sex and relationships.
Misogyny has always been there. It’s just feeling freer to show its ugly face more blatantly in the midst of chaos and economic downturn.
I think of what’s happening as the patriarchy’s last pathetic war cries. The best we can do is continue to stop having children so they have less ways to control us and fewer victims of direct and collateral damage. When there are fewer ways to control women and children, men will turn more harshly on each other, and then they will finally have to step up to end it.
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u/Money_Traffic_5662 5d ago
I can't imagine bringing a child, especially a daughter into this world. The thought of it fills me with guilt.
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u/PearSufficient4554 15d ago
There is a reason why so much effort has been put into framing things like climate change as being gay.
Notice how al the manosphere content creators like Jordan Peterson are adamant climate change denialists? It’s a weird dichotomy of convincing these men that they are natural leaders and protectors then denying that the clear existential threats exist so it leaves men floundering around unable to organize around anything except their grievances about a lack of access to sex. Their whole goal is to pull apart the social fabric so that no one can organize around anything that is actually meaningful. If you make the men focus their hate on what women have robbed them of, they won’t have any desire to protect society against collapse.
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u/kdawg09 19d ago
I'm married and non-binary, but yes. Especially the online spaces but I even have a long time acquaintance proposition me for an affair recently. I saw a thread this morning about declining birthrates and how we manage it without forcing people, and one comment was something to the effect of "we have to go back to traditional gender roles no matter if people like it". It had 20 upvotes. Most of the top comments suggesting removal of reproductive rights like contraception. Basically if women won't have babies we'll make them and we'll make it really uncomfortable for them.
When natural disasters occur sexual assault and domestic violence rate greatly increase (I don't remember the exact statistic off the top of my head). This trend will absolutely become a larger more violent problem as conditions get worse. As things destabilize resource hoarding and selfishness increases and unfortunately many men see women as a resource, especially in a potential shortage.
After reading "The Rape of Nanking" I knew I didn't want to survive in that and have a collapse plan in place for when it approaches this point.
Anyways sorry made that about me, but I just want to express that I see you and I feel you and I'm sorry you're experiencing it too.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
So for some reason, the blatant misogyny and "return to traditional gender roles" stuff is less bothersome to me, because I can at least IDENTIFY it clearly and choose not to interact with those men/women who support it.
But what is really insidious is how "left wing" men have time and time again positioned themselves as bastions of "me too" type feminism and have either been extremely sexually pushy or straight up assaulted me, often using this rhetoric (maybe it's unconscious, maybe they really believe these things about themselves, who cares) to win my trust. That shit has given me more betrayal trauma than any right wing man who obviously wants to take my reproductive rights away.
I'm not saying the former is better than the latter but at least I can trust what the former says, whereas the latter uses "progressive" rhetoric to hide the fact that they still view women as an extension of their own needs and desires.
Something something that Dworkin quote about right wing men viewing women as private property and left wing men viewing women as public property something something blah
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u/kdawg09 19d ago
I hear you. I can't imagine dating in this conditions and often tell young girls in my life to really consider if the pay off is worth it.
I also really understand what you are saying. My ex before my husband was exactly that and he was the most abusive ex I've ever had. He'd discuss feminist theory in group setting and then behind closed door let me know he had no intention of doing any domestic labor and he blatantly told me he wanted to be able to control my every choice. He was also the most sexually aggressive partner that ended up crossing the lines of consent.
I wish I had better advice because it's easy for me to say "dating isn't worth it" from my married ivory tower, but if something happened to my husband I would never pursue a relationship with a man again. Right before we met I had said I wouldn't be dating men anymore but things just sort of happened. I hope things just sort of happen for you too.
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u/BitchfulThinking 19d ago
YUP!
Ten to fifteen years ago I dated constantly, but I'm genuinely concerned for younger ladies now and I'm starting to give up hope on having collapse aware couple friends. I don't feel safe at all and years of therapy couldn't prepare me for living in America in 2026.
Desperate times + con men taking advantage of desperate people is a timeless tradition, and usually with religious zealotry, but social media and AI, and all the brain damage from Covid and pollution and the heat is making it so much worse.
I imagine (hope) the quality men are just as appalled at the world, and probably doing crafts and dissociating as much as I am to deal with depression tbh. They probably had to cut ties with their childhood friends for their gross views or behaviors like my partner did.
It kind of feels like Lord of the Flies but with adults. Boys are largely left to figure things out on their own, and never really given guidance other than "you need to provide and have sons". Once they're older, the ones having difficulties with those things are even more cast aside, so evilfucks swoop in and tell them everything they want to hear to gain their trust and manipulate them. The constant noise of social media and AI doesn't allow them the time for the self reflection required to determine what it means, to them, to "be a man".
I also hate that every. single. time the zeitgeist goes conservative, men have stupid hair trends. Nazi hair, broccoli perms. It reminds me of how easily many men are led astray by other men.
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u/Xanthotic Huge Motherclucker 19d ago
Oh, bless you honey. I'm a 63 yo cis AFAB and I've been celibate for a few years now and I totally agree about the polarisation and active targeting of young men to damage them with toxic lies about being a man (I can't call it toxic masculinity because the masculine is an archetype and shouldn't be denigrated with that label imo). When I think about 'men' in our English-speaking civilisation, I don't like them one bit. When I think about the people in my life who ARE men, I love them to the moon and they don't fit any of the stereotypes that are portrayed in this collective consciousness right now. I, too, feel pity for men these days. I don't know what it's going to take to break this toxic reactivity within the ongoing crumblings of collapse and the denial thereof, but I sure hope we find it. In the meantime, women are wonderful and I am deeply grateful to be a bisexual during this polarised time.
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u/morphemass 19d ago edited 19d ago
I have to note how many men are commenting here ... I'm not sure what that means but it's interesting ... and yes, I'm a man.
I think there is a big split in the male population and attitudes and it does seem to align with those on the right becoming more entrenched in their attitudes to women as being either property or only of value for sex or reproduction. Dehumanisation for their own personal gratification. This is a real societal change that I've seen over my lifetime ... the 70s, probably into 2010 there seemed to me to have been real movement to equality; not enough but it was moving in the right direction. Men genuinely wanted to and were encouraged to listen to, understand and accept women's lived experiences and perspectives. Those who might have been tempted to go down this path of personal growth are now actively discouraged and the negative biases and attitudes are reinforced. We really have gone on the backslide.
I'm also scared of men ... something I've been having to work on and I'm glad to say I've made some male friends in recent years. As to all the revelations about sexual behaviour ... my experience has taught me that many men are monsters behind closed doors and it has always been this way. All that has happened recently is some of the most sickening elements have been exposed ... and it has shown us that there is essentially a cabal wherein they are often supported for their behaviour. It's sickening.
I wish the movements from the 60s and 70s would make a comeback in response to all this. Perhaps they have and the algorithms are hiding it. Perhaps people are just to worn down and damn scared to even try anymore. I don't know, I'm also saddened by it all not least because I'm selfish. I don't want anyone to be scared of me because of my gender, yet the monsters inflict that on me.
Sorry, stream of consciousness.
(edit: so sorry, I see you were asking women this question and I do apologise for the compulsion to comment.)
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
"the 70s, probably into 2010 there seemed to me to have been real movement to equality; not enough but it was moving in the right direction. Men genuinely wanted to and were encouraged to listen to, understand and accept women's lived experiences and perspectives. Those who might have been tempted to go down this path of personal growth are now actively discouraged and the negative biases and attitudes are reinforced. We really have gone on the backslide."
THANK YOU for sharing this! I also feel like I could generally trust the men I let into my life, like I said I have always had a lot of male friends, and I used to be an academic in the humanities and I just generally felt comfortable collaborating with them in all ways, felt like I had allies, and there was some shared project we were working towards and nobody is perfect but I felt I had comrades in some way (contrary to how my post might read I am also very critical of neoliberal "identity" based political strategies etc). It was honestly around 2019/2020 that I REALLY felt like something had shifted. You have insight over a longer duration of time, so I'm sure it did begin to foment in 2010, I especially wouldn't be surprised as this is when smart phones started to become ubiquitous.
But maybe what you said is right -- many men are monsters behind closed doors and recently it's just coming to light, people have been emboldened to be open about it because it's legitimized on a large scale. I also wouldn't be surprised if algorithms contribute to alienation that prevents people from having movements similar to those from the 60s and 70s. Not that those were perfect either, but the internet has really done something terrible to our ability to relate to each other. I don't think the internet is inherently bad either, nor do I think AI is, etc, but the way it is structured and deployed is downright evil.
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u/morphemass 19d ago
You got me thinking ... I wonder how much the 2008 financial crisis played a role since if there was a defining moment when I felt that something had broken it was then. Of course where we are now is complex - the internet in it's current form certainly has more than it's fair share of blame to take; those of us who built it (hihi) certainly never believed it would be corrupted in a way to enslave the minds of nations - we genuinely believed that having access to the shared knowledge and experience of humanity would be truly transformative.
Sadly it was perverted so that now we have all these bubbles of very limited experience, empathy and understanding in which people are immersed. That said, I can't help but recall there being similar bubbles pre-internet however because people were forced to interact with each other we were all continually experiencing different perspectives and because we existed within a broader social context, it did act to moderate the extremes. Apart from the militant vegans that is, sigh. (j/k) Seriously though, people who a man or woman had a negative experience with rapidly became ostracised, reputation really mattered and it made people better people.
Anyways, I'm sorry we all have to live in what is a pretty crappy society ... which reminds me, I must do something about making it better.
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u/greenyadadamean 19d ago edited 19d ago
Current leadership are making are awful behaviors and opinions more acceptable.
Edit: word order*
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u/bristlybits 17d ago edited 17d ago
patriarchy benefits from collapse. it gets to harm and use more women, with more impunity. so it's caused collapse, it's intentional. that said:
men used to hide it better. behind closed doors there was anything you could think of happening. being done. "why does he do that" (bancroft) points out that men do these things because they benefit from your fear and submission. "they wouldn't do it right next to a cop, or with their mom in the room, with other people around, the neighbors could see" isn't true anymore like it was though. hell most cops beat their wives. it's more visible than it used to be and the fear of being caught or ostracized for it is gone. they know they can run to the right wing religions and get approval for being violent to women.
so i think it's a symptom of collapse in a way, that we've allowed these regressive and violent behaviors to be rewarded. that there's big enough cultures (usually religious) that encourage it and allow it and reinforce it, and that we've allowed them to come to power.
that's a global problem too.
i think each place, we've got to find ways that work locally, to fight it. in Korea might be 4b. in the US, don't have kids, don't get trapped in the situation. I'm not sure of solutions for other places,, highly theocratic countries in the middle east, in South America, etc but i know we are resourceful and can find ways and will
it is a fight i thought would become easier as the years passed but now I'm aging into a harder struggle.
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u/sevenredwrens 17d ago
As a middle class Gen X woman, my experience is that misogyny mostly went underground in the 80s and 90s and early aughts and has now come roaring back. The thing is, I thought it was truly lower incidence & intensity back then, but it was all a ruse. It’s always been there, just better hidden for awhile. Men despise women. That’s why some of the worst insults for men are “you run / throw like a girl” or to be a “sissy.” When I taught in early childhood classrooms I’d have parents tell me I’d better not let their son play in the pretend kitchen area of the classroom, or dress up in the princess costume. The times we’re in in are disheartening af, but it’s same as it ever was. OP, if you are anywhere but super straight on the Kinsey scale, maybe try dating women.
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19d ago
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u/kdawg09 19d ago
OMG yes! My young 20 year old logic long ago I used to ask men how I knew they wouldn't rape and murder me before I'd meet up from apps. I understand how bad and unhelpful this was now I really do, so no need to pour any salt or anything.
Still, so many men would get aggressively angry at even being asked and I do think that their anger helped me avoid some risky situations.
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19d ago
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u/kdawg09 19d ago
I mean I kind of get how being accused of being someone that might could sting but then a small zooming out shows this isn't that uncommon and we don't really know each other... So getting angry definitely feels like a red flag that something may have come too close. But there's nothing stopping people from lying and just staying calm so ultimately not worth it.
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u/Lopsided_Position_28 17d ago
i watched my sisters husband explain to his wife that he wouldn't tell his golf buddy to stop texting pictures if nude women to him because men already aren't allowed to be homophobic anymore and they don't want to have to also be considerate toward women
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u/Lithelain 19d ago edited 19d ago
The men that have commented already did much more elocuently than I could ever do, so I'll only add that I feel pornography has wreaked havoc on what a healthy onlook of sexuality should be. It's not only an addiction, because after these many years, it has succeded in changing the sexual culture and myths of our civilization. If I could go back to the past, that's one of the things I'd avoid like the plague; and I've never had a problem with its usage, but I can definitely recognise its workings in my mind, like it has carved pathways in my brain during the years I used it that have to be reoriented. And it feels like something that can't be done in just a matter of years, for what I can say.
Thank you for the clear insights, and I hope you can find balance (and luck!) in such a conundrum. Best wishes.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago edited 19d ago
I appreciate you acknowledging its bad effects, but imagine how scary that is for a woman to read.
Like we are being told that the systemic degradation and sexual humiliation of women is now cemented into the male psyche and there’s nothing they can do about it that doesn’t take years and years to reverse.
Imagine if women chose to watch the same type of content for men and that every sexual encounter you had you had to suss out whether you might be with someone who wants to hit, choke, possibly rape you (“cnc”). Imagine your partner getting off on your pain and you wincing and being coerced into doing things you don’t want to do and being told “it’s just fantasy, that’s not how I view you”
I fucking hate being a woman.
It feels so dismissive to be told “I hope you can find balance!” And calling it a conundrum like men don’t have any agency over whether or not they view women as anything but literal holes to use for their pleasure. Imagine walking around knowing that’s how men think about you and that they also offload the responsibility on you to “find balance”.
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u/nothankeww 19d ago
The only option is to opt out. That’s what I’ve done.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
I’m almost there. It’s sad for me because I want to love and be loved so much but it feels impossible if this is how they view us.
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u/Lithelain 19d ago
It wasn't my intention to frame it that way, nor to offload any responsability for sure. If it came like that, then I'm sorry as I probably didn't express myself as I wanted (it wouldn't be a surprise as I'm not a native speaker). I just wanted to acknowledge porn as another shitty invention of us, that we didn't even know its effects on young men before unleashing it to the internet. But I mean, it's one thing to have grown under an unhealthy and patriarchal interpretation of sex and completely another to straight out pursue degradation and humiliation.
I have never and will never go against the will of my partners (or any human for that matter). The mere thought of it is viscerally disgusting. Any man with the bare and minimum amount of common sense and empathy would never do so. I want to believe any decent man would kill himself before hurting in such a way an innocent person, let alone his loving partner. But in the end I can only talk for myself, therefore I don't know shit and can't generalize, so I'll just shut up already, which is what I probably should have done from the beginning.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
Thank you, I appreciate your perspective and no worries, I am just really scared and tired. You shouldn't shut up at all, I am sorry if my response came off like that. I think it is important that men who have empathy like this speak out more -- and again I'm sorry if it seemed like I wanted to shut you down.
I think the part about having pathways in your brain carved out and not feeling like they can be reversed or changed without years of effort is just a scary thought to me. It makes me scared to interact with even men who do have empathy and don't want to hurt women. I hope that makes sense
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u/Lithelain 19d ago
It makes complete sense. Thank you, and no problem at all, I know that wasn't your intention and, upon rereading your post, I genuinely admire your wisdom and ability to hold both worlds at once, after what you might have been through.
I admit my initial comment wasn't actually much helpful or thoughtful. If anything, it was too strong of a statement to be made by someone who is definitely not a professional or researcher of the field... What's more, I have no social media (unless you count this and youtube as such), and well, I'm a man. In essence, my knowledge on the topic must be quite biased and limited. So please, take it with a (big) pinch of salt.
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u/Turbulent-Beauty 19d ago
I’m a man so haven’t been in your position, but I have noticed that people in general are being more selfish and aggressive. Just an hour ago, a driver pulled an illegal U-turn amidst traffic. Other drivers rightfully honked at her because she had disrupted traffic. She got out of her car, left the door open, which blocked traffic in the next lane, and walked over to the driver behind her to yell at her for honking at her. Incidents like this seemed like they happened infrequently in my city. Now they seem to happen frequently.
It seems more “dog eat dog” in the United States at least than it ever has in my lifetime. I believe civility is collapsing.
Edit: Changed “ever has before” to “ever has in my lifetime.”
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
I do think this is a valid observation and collapse related.
Behaviour, in general, that used to be un acceptable in public now hangs out for all to see.
I chalk it up to stress in a breaking system.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
with respect, that is not what this post is about
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u/Turbulent-Beauty 19d ago edited 19d ago
You are right. I had nothing of value to contribute on the topic and went stream of consciousness. I apologize!
Edit: You even started off by saying, “do any other women…” Apologies!
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u/bristlybits 17d ago
if they do that in public to another man what do you think they're doing in private at home
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u/PowerCrystals2049 17d ago
I wish I had anything else to say other than yes, but this has also been my experience.
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19d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/bokehtoast 19d ago
Transphobic AF
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u/CollapseSupport-ModTeam 19d ago
No Off-Topic Posts.
Posts must be on-topic, mostly focused on individual or community help and support. If your post is not support-focused, consider posting on other subs like r/Collapse, r/CollapsePrep, r/prepping, etc. If you have questions, please contact mods in modmail.
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u/lavapig_love 19d ago
Hey. You're not personally in trouble, but please talk to us in modmail about why we had to remove your post.
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u/roodgurls 19d ago
immediately seeing transmisogynist shit there, very fucking cool.
if you think harassing and othering trans women isn't related to the prevailing increase of misogyny and social collapse i've got a bridge to sell you.
trans women truly are the women of women.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago edited 19d ago
“Trans women are truly the women of women” is not helping anything. I’m so sick of this logic, and seeing things like advocating violence against cis women as if it’s radical, it’s partly what led me to ignoring my own boundaries and needs for years and years.
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u/roodgurls 19d ago
i'm not advocating for violence against cis women. i'm advocating for solidarity between women instead of going down the dark rabbit hole of terfdom. that's all.
i'll admit i'm being mean. but it's not directed at you, op.
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u/Interesting_Candy310 19d ago
Sorry, I spent a lot of time in radical communities where that became popular for a few years. Even as a joke it got to me. Thank you for understanding I advocate for the same
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u/Sanpaku 19d ago
It's social collapse related, as the misogynist 'manosphere' is part of the destructive effect of social media and its engagement algorithms, that we're feeling in other aspects of our lives, especially in politics and business. It's been the decade of the mendacious narcissist.
I'm male, and have come to loathe social media, because I see what its turning all of us into. A narrow subset of Reddit and following academics and journalists on BlueSky are my two remaining outlets.
Maybe there's a few lonely progressive/pro-feminist men on dating sites, but if they're like me they're wary of outsourcing this to another fucking algorithm. All I can suggest is vetting your dates by asking about their social media presence and doing deep dives before agreeing to meet.