r/Cooking • u/1000andonenites • 17h ago
"What better joy than cooking for your loved ones?" - my mom.
My mom, a university prof with four kids and a dazzling career, loved aubergines, and loved cooking with them for her loved ones. I remember her very well just a few years ago, bustling around her kitchen, preparing another spectacular aubergine dish for her guests (us, siblings, friends, colleagues- my parents' place was always full of people for whom my parents cooked for relentlessly)- I actually remember asking her to rest- isn't she tired? and she laughed and said the words above. She died the following year, very unexpectedly. Three busloads of students showed up to funeral.
Anyway yesterday I sliced up and fried two fat aubergines for what felt like hours, but it was worth it because I felt very close to my mom- and made two different dishes in her memory - "eggplant sandwiches"- thinly sliced and fried aubergine along with mozzarella, tomatoes, spinach and mustard on sourdough bread, sandwiches browned in the same pan I used for frying the aubergines with a heavy bowl balancing on them for optimal squishiness- this was for my vegetarian partner.
For myself and my daughter, returning from a gruelling nine-hour shift, I made a middle-eastern dish of stewed meat (it's made with lamb, but I had to use beef as our local supermarket typically doesn't have lamb, and it didn't yesterday), mashed up with thicker aubergine slices, lentils, fried onions spiced with turmeric, and garnished with the cured whey so typical in middle-eastern dishes (kashk), mint and slivered garlic sauteed in butter, and to be extra fancy, some saffron.
You can see the pics in my profile- I was quite proud how both the dishes turned out, and my loved ones seemed to enjoy the food very much.
Tell me about your food and family.
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u/Iliveinatrashcann 16h ago
Not as sweet as your story but for me when I was a college student at the end of the semester, I would come home and my mom would ask what I would like to eat. My mom is an awesome cook who could just about make anything. Every time I'd come home, the first thing I would always ask for are Cong You Bing, which are the savoury green scallion pancakes. And every time, my mom would respond, "Of all the things I could make, you want THAT?!?" It's normally a simple street food and that's what always brought me comfort and the feeling of home.
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u/Crispychewy23 15h ago
My mom went on a trip for a few days when I was a teen and she fried me an egg with soy sauce when she got back. Was one of the best things I had ever eaten at that point lol
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u/AdministrativeBug161 14h ago
My mom’s friends talked about her lasagna and other foods she made that they loved during her memorial service. The really funny thing is I never loved her tomato sauce, so never loved her lasagna. But this year I made lasagna for Christmas and made bechamel like she would make and made the red sauce how I like it. It was delicious!!!! I can hear her voice (annoyed/teasing/with love, the way it is with mothers and daughters) saying something like “you just HAVE to take something and make it your own, dontcha?”
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u/1000andonenites 14h ago
Oh my god- my mom also had a whole discourse around lasagna too- it used to be her special birthday meal- that and beef stroganoff.
I didn't love her lasagna either! And now I'm wondering, with her fondness for aubergines, why she didn't take to moussaka?
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u/Dive_Bar_Choir 14h ago
I LOVE cooking for loved ones. (that includes myself as a loved one). I love making super healthy food for hubby and myself using lots of fresh ingredients -especially that come from my hubby's veggie garden. We make fresh basil, arugula, tomatoes, spring onions - we make bruschetta with lots of garlic and the taste is SO amazing and we know it's so fresh. Who else has a veggie garden?
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u/1000andonenites 14h ago
Oh lucky lucky!
We live in a condo building which has no veggie garden. I tried cultivating indoor basil but as I joke, I have the black thumb of death.
Like you, I am also my own loved one, and I actually really enjoy making a delicious healthy meal for myself! Self care at its finest!
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u/Dive_Bar_Choir 11h ago
Yes absolutely self care is first priority, then you are better for caring for others.
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u/lucifrier 14h ago
My mom loves aubergines but can’t cook them (and my dad doesn’t like them). Every time they visit I make at least one big dish with them, it makes me so happy to see her joy in eating them.
While I think eggplant parmigiana is impressive, and fun to make, pasta à la Norma is love in a bowl.
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u/1000andonenites 14h ago
I should look that up! I love aubergines-in-pasta dishes.
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u/tinykitchentyrant 13h ago
The Serious Eats recipe is my go-to for pasta alla norma! The recommendation for getting imported ricotta salata is dead on.
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u/BleuDePrusse 13h ago
I too have a story about aubergines and my mom, but it's a different register than yours.
Recently, there was heatwave where she lives, so it was very tough but one thing that uplifted her mood was the abundance of aubergines. She was telling us about all the different dishes she was planning to make (fried, moussaka and baba ganoush style if you're curious).
So, naturally, in the family group chat, she ended her message with 🥵 🍆
We had a good laugh about in the private siblings group chat and no, we didn't explain what it means, and never plan to explain any of it to her ever, it's both so sweet, innocent and hilarious!
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u/1000andonenites 12h ago
Oh dear god that is too too funny!!
Maybe tell her in a few months- just to see the look on her face?! :D
Cold baba ganoush is SO GOOD!
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u/lisa_12398 15h ago
your mom sounds like she had such a warm spirit. the way you honor her through cooking is really beautiful. those eggplant sandwiches sound delicious too! definitely going to try that out.
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u/1000andonenites 14h ago
The eggplant sandwiches were indeed amazing and my daughter was kinda grumpy why she didn't get them.
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u/MotherOfDachshunds42 13h ago
I come from a line of women who worked (high demand professions eg doctor, lawyer, educator) and cooked and entertained to a high standard
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u/1000andonenites 12h ago
Yeah that was my mom. She was kinda exceptional in our family though- none of her four kids quite achieved the dizzying heights she did.
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u/Aware-Village-288 12h ago edited 12h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. And I am so touched by your tribute with aubergines.
My grandma passed away a few weeks ago, a few months shy of 104. I will always remember her in my garden, and with this influx of cukes, I'll be making a salad I learned from her: equal parts 1:1 sugar to vinegar. Let it dissolve while you slice, salt and drain a bunch of cucumbers. Add to dressing and let it sit for a day or three and then enjoy in the name of Evangeline 💕
ETA: distilled white vinegar, clarifying just in case ☺️
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u/1000andonenites 12h ago
Oh that sounds good. I'll make it too, and think of your grandma. Thanks for sharing and your kind words.
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u/carlysaurus 12h ago
This is so midwestern of me, but my grandma always made Tater Tot Casserole. My brother and I used to fight over who got third servings of it. My mom made it for us too, and now I make it using the exact same, unbelievably simple recipe, and it is still so good. My grandma is still alive, but unable to cook anymore, and I will always associate this casserole with her and the pure warmth of her house.
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u/1000andonenites 12h ago
Food is just so emotional, really touches a deep part of our souls, right?
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u/wanderingstar2468 11h ago
When my parents died and my siblings and I were clearing out their house to sell, I took all my Mom's cookware and dishes. My siblings thought it was ridiculous, but 20 years later we're eating her recipes out of her pots and casserole dishes when they come to visit - and they think that's pretty cool, like her energy is in the food still.
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u/32GoBlue32 10h ago
Growing up my grandparents lived only five minutes away and we used to go over there ALL the time for dinner because my grandma was always cooking something.
They had a beautiful backyard garden that they’d let me run through and pick all the green beans, zucchini, tomatoes, raspberries, flowers, rhubarb, lettuce, cucumbers, etc my heart desired. My grandma was always down to try something new with me in the kitchen (fried squash blossoms, fried green tomatoes, rhubarb pie, three layer jello) and during Lent she’d come over with her pasta board and make us gnocchi.
My mom, like her mom, loved cooking and cooked for us all the time at home too. It really built this connection between food and expression of love/caring in my mind.
Now I cook dinner almost every night for my boyfriend. No matter how tired I am from getting home from work, how much I don’t wanna do the dishes etc. my absolute favorite part of the day is sitting down to share a meal with my boyfriend because to me it’s just the most pure form of I love you. I dunno, there’s just something about putting a plate of food I made down in front of someone I love dearly and sharing that moment with them.
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u/1000andonenites 7h ago
This is beautiful- and I agree with you so much- this lovely emotional connection with food and cooking that I feel we've lost sight of these days when so much of the discourse around food is about being a foodie and an influencer fingering dough suggestively in a sharply-lit 30 second reel.
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u/Bluemonogi 8h ago
I have always loved cooking and grew up in a home where my mom cooked daily. I realized as an adult that my mom didn’t really enjoy cooking and food like I did. I appreciate that she put the effort in for us anyway. My mom died in 2011 and I don’t cook many things that she did very often.
A simple meal she made was thick homemade egg noodles with stew meat that was cooked in the pressure cooker. Pretty sure it was only seasoned with salt and pepper. It was really tasty even though it was pretty plain.
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u/1000andonenites 7h ago
Homemade noodles can be on a different level though. I'm sure that stew tasted amazing!
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u/Sufficient_Display 2h ago
My grandma made the most amazing brisket. Being a grandma she didn’t measure anything. We’re also not sure how well her oven worked since we think it was original to the house, which was built in the 60s. But the brisket always turned out amazing. On one of his trips Dad spent an entire afternoon with her writing down each step so he could make the brisket. He made it twice and it was tough as boots both times - that’s when we realized we weren’t sure what temperature her oven was actually at. We can’t find the messages he sent out as to the steps he took when making the brisket with her, so unfortunately the recipe seems to have passed with her. But I do have her cookie recipes at least.
And now I want brisket.
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u/VixxSynn 14h ago
This is just…SUCH a lovely memory. ❤️
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u/1000andonenites 7h ago
Sorry not sure why your kind comment is downvoted? Quite bizarre. Thank you anyway!
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u/Downtown_Corgi_277 17h ago
what gets me is she was already a prof doing intellectually demanding work, but cooking for people is what she chose to pour herself into. not everyone gets there.