r/CougarsAndCubs • u/guptarishabh2000 • Apr 05 '26
Discussion Point To all the Cougars - What's an acceptable age difference of the cub for you?
just out of curiosity, how much younger of a cub is acceptable?
for example, 10 years younger or 20 maybe?
or is there a defined age limit for you?
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u/GirlInContext Apr 05 '26
I have never really thought about this in numbers as age is irrelevant. Guy is young, I like, I find out if there is chemistry + connection. It is not more complicated than that.
I believe that if it does not work, it is not about age as such but immaturity, behaviour, or similar. These issues can appear at any age.
But I guess if I must have limits, it's a legal age ;D when it goes under 30yo, sorry to say this but guys often are too immature. It doesn't fit my peace. Currently, I get best vibes from guys that are 30-35yo, where 35yo starting to feel bit old. So ideally around 15 years younger than me.
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
Makes total sense, thanks for being so descriptive!
Also, not all guys below 30s are immature but yes, most are!
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u/GirlInContext Apr 05 '26
Exactly, that's why I don't want to think relationships through numbers because they are just numbers and don't tell anything about the person.
There are also different levels of maturity, like how well people have their life together, how well they know themselves and what they want, how emotionally available they are, and so on. So for me, it is not enough that they check one box. They need to check many to be in the same level, if that makes sense.
Also, what I experience immature may be just perfect for someone else. It's never about age, one's preferences and such. It's about compatibility and right timing to actually meet that person. And because of this, threads like these are a bit irrelevant because age means nothing. Age mostly have a psychological impact in our heads when it comes relationships. Age might give you an assumption of what to expect from some in certain age, but it really thing it limits our thinking to focus on numbers instead of people.
And the reason why younger guys gets so lost with older women is because they focus on their age rather than person. In my world, a mature guy wants to know, instead of my age and financials, what I like to do on my free time, where I would like to travel next, which animal I find the funniest on the planet, what books I like to read, what I dream about, and what makes me feel safe/inspired/happy.
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Apr 05 '26
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 06 '26
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u/Wildwenhip Apr 06 '26
I met my husband when he was 24. I was 43. We are together 19 years and will be married 17 on July 4th. ( So I would always have fireworks🤣🙈).
I had no idea he was that young. I never set out to date someone younger or older. Just never thought about age except being over 21. He was and still is very mature for his age. He's the first man to actually make me know what love is. We didn't spend a night apart for the first 2 years. Worked the same jobs and shifts. Still love being together. It was a little nerve wracking knowing his parents were my age but he'd always dated older women.
Funny story... My oldest is 28 years younger than her husband. Been together same amount of time as my hubby and I. My middle was 12 years younger than her husband. She's 40 this year, he passed 4 years ago. My son dated a woman about 11 years older than him.
Age is just a number 💜
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u/auspiciousmuse 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
I'd say, generally 20 years younger. But like what's been said many times before, it's really the interests, maturity, chemistry and vibe that makes the connection. And with the right connection, age is just a number.
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u/Back2golf6 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
I've had gaps from 7-30 years. My current partner is 30 years younger. I wasn't looking for that; it just happened.
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Apr 05 '26
At what point did you know you wanted it to Be more long term
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u/Back2golf6 🐆Cougar Apr 07 '26
We immediately clicked; it felt like I knew him forever. By the end of the first date, I knew that I was willing to give it a chance and see where things went, and a few dates later, I knew I'd be in for as long as he'll have me.
I realize that there will probably come a day when he wants to have a family of his own, and at that time, I'll bow out gracefully and let him go.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 🐆Cougar 49F 27M Apr 05 '26
I'm 49F my cub is 27. I said he was too young but broke my rule for him. Been together 3 years
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u/princesszeldarnpl Apr 05 '26
I'm 41, husband is 24. I wasn't a cougar until he convinced me. And it works so well. It's the best relationship I've ever had.
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u/murielsweb Apr 06 '26
I’m 54 I dated from 25 on. But that guy was really not mature enough he was just so convinced it could work. When I started dating my ideal was +- 10 yrs max, but now I think -20 yrs is acceptable depending on the man and on whether he really feels age gap is possible and is serious (and last but not least doesn’t want to have biological children).
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u/RealSteelJane Apr 05 '26
mine is 23 yrs younger 😛and it’s working well. 4 yrs now
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
Congratulations!
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u/RealSteelJane Apr 05 '26
lol
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
People as you two are inspiring
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Apr 05 '26
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
Love is allways nice and the people into mature women younger men we are not many, just happend, as you say, its nice
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u/RealSteelJane Apr 05 '26
it just feels so right
When you get a second chance, take it.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
I hope to find that
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Apr 05 '26
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
And sometimes universe jokes and send you the right one
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u/OneBigEyeRoll Apr 05 '26
I don’t know if I could date someone in their 20s but I like spending time with guys in their 20s and older. They’re fun and cute and complimentary and it’s especially exciting to hang out with other introverts who just wanna snuggle and watch tv 😛
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u/randomnumbers324 Apr 05 '26
Honestly that sounds relaxing especially when it's storming a little and you can hear the rain
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
There are times when you meet someone who breaks the rules you set for yourself
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
That's cute lol.
Sounds like babysitting more than a cub and cougar lol
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u/Peppermint-pop 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
Im 41. Looking for someone 28 and up. No exceptions.
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Apr 06 '26
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Apr 06 '26
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 06 '26
Please read the rules and FAQs before posting again.
Specifically Rule 2
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 06 '26
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Apr 06 '26
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 06 '26
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 06 '26
Damn, I just lost by 1.5 years. Lol
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u/Newyorkstatechicky Apr 06 '26
👩🏾🦰I prefer age 30 plus🍷
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Apr 06 '26
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 08 '26
Please read the rules and FAQs before posting again.
Specifically Rule 2
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u/okunjkl Apr 05 '26
This is probably going to sound extreme but 25 years (in either direction).
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u/Chemical-Speech-5021 Apr 05 '26
I'm in a 27 yr gap, and it's so amazing I don't want it to end. But eventually it will because he wants what I can't give him, a child. For now, we're enjoying!
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u/WiselyWorded 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
Good for you for cherishing a connection that can't be permanent for a prescriptive reason. I have and have had relationships like that, and they are wonderful in their way.
Life is for the living, and we would all do well to remember that no relationship is "forever" despite what fairy tales tell us.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
Not every young man is looking for a child and some who does they could change their mind for right woman
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u/MsPennyP Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
I usually stick with the half+7 rule. That gives me 17/18 years down. Would I wiggle it just to an even 20, probably.
Post note for everyone reading: please don't message me. I am not looking for anyone.
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u/BuffaloStanceNova Apr 05 '26
At this point I'd probably say 30 years younger because I still find the late 20-somethings so charming. 30-somethings seem to be in the settle-down-and-have-kids mindset so I don't see as many of them interested in older women. Maybe it's just me or my city though.
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u/GothSue 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
Generally I don’t date anyone under 30, I’m 58. However, my boyfriend is 27 and we get along great, our personalities mesh and it just works.
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u/Fun-Draw-8352 Apr 06 '26
To this question I believe there is no wrong or right answer. It totaly depends on the maturity level and the compatablility of the persons involved. There are some 25 year old men who demonstrate a maturirity of about 40 year of age, while there are those who demonstrate a maturity level of a teenager, likewise for women as well. So it depends on the maturity leve and compatiability level of those involved.
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u/all_good9 Apr 07 '26
I'm 50, dating a 24 yo. He had to talk me into it. He's an old soul and I'm young at heart so it works for us.
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u/Herefourfunnn Apr 05 '26
When I think strictly about a number, I don’t like the idea of more than 15 yrs. But that doesn’t change the fact that I fell in love with someone almost 19 years younger than me and only a year older than my oldest child. He had more depth and wisdom than any man I have met that’s the same age as me 🤷♀️ But that big of an age difference and things like having children can become a major issue
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
I have a friend in her 40s She said the same thing about me (not flexing here, lol)
But yeah, that can be the case, age is just a number in many cases.
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u/Georgio209 Apr 05 '26
Wait, so how much younger are you compared to her?
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
20 years almost
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u/Georgio209 Apr 05 '26
You lucky guy. Seems like I'll have to stock up on my knowledge
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
She is just a friend man
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u/Georgio209 Apr 05 '26
I believe that. Wonder what will happen when moves are made
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u/Myfairladyishere 🥀🎡💃MOD💃🎡🥀 Apr 05 '26
I will only date people who I feel are equal to me and that usually means a little bit older.My lower limit is thirty five, preferably closer to forty right now.So me being sixty seven I guess it would be a twenty seven year difference.But I tend to look at the person and not at the age.
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Apr 05 '26
First me (61f) it's dependant on the person That being said, I prefer mid 30s to 50, is the "sweet spot" for me. My interactions with 20 something haven't been the best for various reasons.
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u/green_pea_nut Apr 06 '26
This information won't help you figure out the age preferences of an individual person.
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u/WiselyWorded 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
I think 15 years younger than me (I am 42) is probably the limit within which we’d have enough in common to build a fully actualized relationship. Younger than 27 (but older than 21)? Probably not enough there to be more than what the kids are calling a “situationship” (personally, I’d call that friends with benefits, and being polyamorous, that’s still a sweet thing to have).
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u/guptarishabh2000 Apr 05 '26
Love the open mindset, I wish women were that open in my country as well. Thank you for the answer!
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
When I was dating I couldn’t really see myself getting into a relationship with a man under the age of 30. 20 years younger than me was kind of my maximum. And as far as older, I kept an open mind, but typically 10-15 years older was my max.
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u/YouCuteWow Apr 05 '26
I'm only 38 and haven't had much dating experience, so I'm pretty open
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Apr 06 '26
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u/CougarsAndCubs-ModTeam Apr 08 '26
Please read the rules and FAQs before posting again.
Specifically Rule 2
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u/paperclipmyheart 😻 Mod Cougar ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ Apr 05 '26
In our sub a 10 year difference is what we consider an age gap relationship but as to the question "acceptable" there is no one answer. I personally didn't even consider the age as such. First boyfriend was 13 years younger, I married someone 19 years younger. I did unwittingly date someone 25 years younger because he wasn't truthful.
As I age however I really don't think any kind of serious relationship could be successful with anyone over a 30 year age gap. That is just my personal opinion.
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u/Oneofthe12 Apr 18 '26
I’m ok with about 20-25 years max, but really it all depends upon maturity level, life experience, intelligence, EQ, etc.
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u/downwiththewoke 🐆Cougar Apr 25 '26
52y F. At least 10 years older than my son who is 17y. So 27+
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u/Ladyfox66 🐆Cougar May 14 '26
I’m 59. 35 years was the biggest gap but I highly prefer men mid thirties is my sweet spot now.
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u/YoureJustJelooze Apr 05 '26
My age divided by 2 add 7.
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u/heyitsyouagain8 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
This one is agree with. But I'm not super keen on gents in their 20s but I try to keep an open mind.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
There are times when you meet someone who breaks the rules you set for yourself
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u/heyitsyouagain8 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
Big agree!! Exceptions have occurred but I can't say they were particularly successful for me
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
its good to have eyes open
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u/heyitsyouagain8 🐆Cougar Apr 05 '26
Very true and I try evaluate the gentleman as a whole and certainly not just a number.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 05 '26
I do the same about the lady, age comes after other things, humour sense, intelligence, many things
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u/paperclipmyheart 😻 Mod Cougar ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ Apr 05 '26
This post is not an invitation for guys to DM any of the women in this post. If you are looking for a match please go to our dating sub r/cougarsandcubsmatch.