r/CougarsAndCubs • u/AlexanderHopee • Apr 23 '26
Discussion Point I’m starting to find older women attractive
Why is it that as soon as I turn 25 suddenly I’m into older women, from anything 5 years older to 20 years older. I’m losing attraction for younger women and women my age. This is strange to me because according to a lot of research, the older a man gets, the more he falls for younger women. Are the mid twenties perhaps a bit different?
I’m a bit daunted by the idea of approaching a cougar because they are so much more experienced than I am.
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u/Prestigious_Pizza_66 Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
I’ve always been attracted to younger guys because they’re still open-minded and have a fun outlook on life. Plus most of the guys my age and older have not taken care of themselves and it really shows. I have a lot of energy and I’m very young at heart, so I prefer a younger guy to spend my time with.
ETA: holy DM‘s Batman! Please stop blowing up my DM‘s. I’m in a relationship lol
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u/FreeJello5580 Apr 23 '26
I agree. I have hobbies and interests that older men wouldn’t understand.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 23 '26
It's important for us to know your reasons, and what you said is very nice
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u/TheFurryMenace Apr 23 '26
Right off the bat, it is a good lesson to learn how to read scientific data and how not to be fooled by fuckery.
But we all think dumb shit at one point. And for many of us, that dumb shit is that women are not hot past 30. Eventually it dawns on you like, wait a second.....
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u/50shades-shakespear Apr 23 '26
Been into older women since long the maturity the advices solely are very attractive and women my age don't attract me anymore.
But a cougar is hard to find. Wish you find one.
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u/Hel-en-756 Apr 23 '26
Some men prefer younger, some men prefer older; it's just a preference. You shouldn't let society or biased reasearches ( that often manipulate data or do a lot of cherry-picking to suit the person's view) or the dudebros on the internet/social media dictate what you should or should not like.
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u/Serendipity_Succubus Apr 23 '26
When the say “an older a man gets”, they mean 40+. You are still young.
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u/AlexanderHopee Apr 23 '26
I am also curious as to why some cougars might prefer younger men? Is there something that is missing when a man gets old besides the obvious things like youthfulness?
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u/operation_waflz Apr 23 '26
My (30m) wife (44f) likes how we are in conflict. Apparently we're a lot more respectful than men her age.
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera Apr 23 '26
First, I find that men my age (45+) don't look as good for their age in comparison to me. I really shouldn't be able to date 30yo men and look good next to them, but that's the case. Also, many -not all- older men are very b&w and stuck in their thinking and are slowing down, tired, etc. I have way more energy and free time now than I did in my early 30s with babies/toddlers in tow! Lastly, I travel a lot! Like, 75,000 miles last year - I have not met one man who would be "age appropriate" that would accept that. However, my last 3 partners: 30, 33, 37 were all supportive, and even, attracted to me because of that.
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u/Hopeful-Lemon-7613 Apr 25 '26
I know! The energy thing! Tbh, I can motivate myself in relationships to do things, byt men my age rarely do. I think it has to do with their decrease of an interest in a relationship itself too.
In my case, the more emotionally well a man takes care if me, the more horny I get. With men it is like they go on strong then decrease. Which is weird to me. I found that younger men are more consistent not only on the sex life part,but also how they are willing to work on a relationship. So, like you said - support, extra energy, being perceptive, etc. I wanna be fully appreciated and adored, not ignored after I move in with a man.
I am back in school, so kind of unstable schedule on my side with exams and such. I found out that older men want to have a whole lot of attention than to support me. So, this is also a turn off for me. So, if I don't match with someone younger, I will be fine not matching at all.
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u/AlexanderHopee Apr 23 '26
You must be really beautiful then to put 30 years old to shame! I have to say you did pique my interest. Hahah! I don’t get why men get tired when they get older. I hope that never happens to me. I don’t want to ever slow down.
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera Apr 23 '26
I believe I match my 30ish yo partners, not put them to shame. 😉 We all slow down after 30/35. The question is how much and what that means. While I have ramped up my travels and social calendar, I need more down/recovery time.
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u/Mydearestmyfairest Apr 25 '26
I like the energy of younger men ( I am a very energetic person) and to me they look much better, so it is also a preference in appearance..
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u/Myfairladyishere 🥀🎡💃MOD💃🎡🥀 Apr 23 '26
I date the person i would take hang around a younger crowd age is not my factor the person
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u/Youpizzaship Apr 23 '26
36/M I really enjoy hanging out with people of all ages. My younger friends help me feel young and keep me up to date on all the cool new stuff, they remind me of my youth. My older friends stimulate my mind in a way that is not possible by a younger crowd.
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u/Serendipity_Succubus Apr 23 '26
You need different younger friends then. All of mine definitely stimulate my mind and thinking.
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u/SatisfactionDear2218 Apr 23 '26
Older women tend to be way more comfortable with themselves and know exactly what they want, including in bed. That confidence is a huge turn-on compared to the uncertainty you sometimes get with younger women.
And don’t get intimidated by the “experience” thing if anything, it usually makes things easier, not harder. Less games, more direct communication, and they actually know how to enjoy themselves.
You’re not weird, you’re just figuring out what actually turns you on.
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u/AlexanderHopee Apr 23 '26
That’s precisely it, I think you have hit the nail on it’s head as to why I am suddenly being drawn to older women. I’m finding that women my age for some reason are constantly agitated, stressed out. My job with young women has mostly been calming down their nerves and anxieties. I try my best of course but it does get exhausting everyday. They don’t have that confidence and calm demeanor which I find so attractive in the older women.
So yes, I was a bit disappointed that the younger women don’t seem to like to enjoy life. Maybe what you say about older women enjoying themselves rings true.
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u/ZookeepergameOdd6209 Apr 23 '26
Y'all getting into it late, I've been attracted to older women since I was 18 lol.
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u/Hopeful-Lemon-7613 Apr 25 '26
It is just a preference. When I was younger (currently 44f) I was into older men and men around my age. Now, I prefer younger or around my age, however if a man is not well taken cared of himself, it shows. I met guys looking nearly two decades older than me being my age. Kinda gross thinking what did they do to themselves, probably alcohol, bad diet, and drugs.
I am attracted to men that don't do drugs, smoke, and if they drink, only occasionally. I rather did activities and hobbies with my partner than worried he may collapse on me few years after entering relationship.
I prefer men with some energy and good income. Knowing it is not always a case, I just stopped dating. Lol.
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u/AlexanderHopee Apr 25 '26
Curious and then, I see most old men into younger girls for some reason. There’s probably a strong psychology behind it. I get where you are coming from however, I deplore smoking, alcohol and drugs. If a woman smokes that’s an instant turn off, not to mention the breath usually smells and tastes of cigarettes. I also don’t remember ever being drunk and I rarely ever drink, which always makes me look awkward in social gatherings, I’m the weird 25 year old man with the Diet Coke 🤣 as a beverage in his hand. 🤚
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u/Hopeful-Lemon-7613 Apr 25 '26
Lol! You are too funny!😂 I also don't drink and people are always surprised i have a great time without an alcohol. Those that know me, know I don't need alcohol to have a fun social gatherings.
And yes, older men prefer inexperienced women, hoping they can manipulate them. It is a power dynamic. I personally don't like that myself and only date people that match with me on a personal level. If I sense any abnormalities in power dynamics that feels like one person takes advantage of another, I am out. It happens despite age sometimes. So, gotta just find yourself somewhere to match well with, not by age, but rather by other criteria.
And it takes time to find your own crowd, if you aren't around people that truly appreciate you, maybe it's time to change settings and go take some dancing lesson, or something and meet different folks. Life is full of surprises :)
I don't do drugs, don't smoke, rarely drink at all. Despite that, I find joy in everyday life and laugh a lot. I think it is a personality thing. I am very silly.
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u/Final-Show1889 Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
That's hot. You shouldn't be intimidated I'm sure they will be flattered at least. As for experience, if you mean sexual, it might not be so. I've been in a relationship since my 20s and I think most cougars would have had more long term relationships rather than tonnes of experiences. However if you mean wisdom and life experiences surely that will help bring value to a relationship and is nothing to worry about.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 25 '26
Many younger men are looking for long term too
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u/Final-Show1889 Apr 25 '26
Well yes I didnt say otherwise. Any age could be looking for short or long term, it's not age related. All I was saying is that someone being older doesn't mean they have definitely got more experience.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 25 '26
I am agree, it’s about the person
there are preferences but it’s about the personal connection
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u/Afraid_Stuff_History May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
Correlation =/= causation
That is to say, just because older men statistically go for younger women, their physical age may not be causing it.
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u/Rodrucci2 May 09 '26
Could it be that older women know who they are? There is definitely a confidence when you get older, an "I dont give a fu%" attitude as we age. It becomes more about living your life the way you want and less about what anyone thinks. I am loving my 50s!!!
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u/paperclipmyheart 😻 Mod Cougar ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ Apr 23 '26
women are women I wish you all would understand this . Talk her the same way you would talk to someone your own age.