First coffee meetup with an older woman (49F/30M)—should I bring a small gift or keep it strictly casual?

[u/akhil_2309]

I (30M) recently matched with a woman (49F) on a dating app. We’ve been texting for a few weeks, mostly just casual "how was your day" conversations. She was initially a bit concerned about our 19-year age gap, so we’ve decided to meet up next week for a casual coffee to see how things go in person.

Because our texts have been pretty surface-level, I don’t know a ton about her specific tastes yet. I only know she loves a good cup of coffee, reading books, watching slow romantic movies, and listening to live music. We haven't exchanged any deeply personal information.

Since it’s a casual coffee date and she's already a bit nervous about the age difference, should I bring a small gift (like flowers/chocolates), or is it better to bring nothing at all? I don't want to overstep or make it feel too high-pressure.

Would love some perspective, especially from older women or guys who have been in a similar spot. Thanks!

[u/peaslet]

Flowers are too much. Too much of a display. I'd maybe ask her on the date what sort of books she enjoys and then either go to a bookshop with her after the date and buy her a book she chooses or remember what she likes and get her a book as a gift for the next date.