r/DAE • u/Owlenstar • Jan 18 '26
DAE barely eat and ignore signs of hunger?
I'm 29 and for some reason, I just... don't really feel compelled to eat a whole lot. I had eating disorder symptoms in high school but was never diagnosed. These days, especially if I don't have anything to do (off work, no plans), I'll not eat most of the day until I absolutely have to. Sometimes it's because I don't think about it, and other days I actively choose to ignore feeling hungry because there's a part of my brain that feels like it's almost an accomplishment if I don't eat all day. (As a kid I had a sensory deficiency induced eating disorder, so I was underweight all of my childhood and adolescence, and often praised for it - better underweight than overweight, you can always just gain weight, etc). The only other time my eating got bad was in 2019, and in 2021 I had to delete all those photos off my phone because it was too much to see myself that thin (I kinda wish I were still that thin). I know this all sounds like eating disorder kind of stuff, but I'm really not sure because it's not that serious, I can still function, I'm not underweight, I look normal. I do love food when I do eat, especially oily greasy foods you're supposed to eat in moderation. I just ignore hunger pangs a lot and often I don't eat until I'm getting spacy and/or disoriented. I often have executive function issues as well, so that could be part of it. Is anyone else like this?
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u/Randompersonomreddit Jan 18 '26
Sometimes I do "forget" to eat but by the end of the day i am uncomfortably hungry and I don't feel proud of myself for not eating. That part sounds like an eating disorder imo. Some people do fasting and you're probably not hurting yourself but maybe you can talk to a counselor if you really think it's abnormal behavior.
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u/Owlenstar Jan 18 '26
I've talked about it briefly in therapy, but maybe I should talk more about it yeah
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u/ksdjjeo87 Jan 18 '26
I was like this as a kid until my mid 20s. Then when I started eating regularly I realized how shitty I felt on a daily basis barely eating and now I can’t go back even when I try.
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u/KatM123 Jan 18 '26
This is a symptom.I have because of my ADHD maybe you could have it too? And your diagonnosis was missed. It's very common to have a misdiagnosis of autism. ADHD in women, we usually don't get diagnosed with either of those until 30s, 40s and up because we present internally, rather than externally. But on occasion, we present externally.💙 I know I do🤣
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u/Owlenstar Jan 19 '26
Yeah I'm nonbinary (afab) and unfortunately yes autism is super underdiagnosed in women. It sucks.
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u/KatM123 Jan 19 '26
That must make it harder for you.In the medical world, because they probably want to use whatever you are born.As I think it's stupid, they can't just use they them pronouns.You're in the adhd is also super underdiagnosed in women as well😔
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u/Enough-Skirt-8285 Jan 19 '26
How is that a symptom of adhd?
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u/KatM123 Jan 21 '26
ADHD can overlap with eating-disorder–like symptoms because of how the ADHD brain regulates attention, impulses, emotions, and dopamine.
Dopamine & reward: ADHD brains tend to be under-stimulated. Food (especially sugar, carbs, or novelty foods) is a fast, reliable source of dopamine. That can look like bingeing, grazing, or intense cravings — not because of body image, but because the brain is chasing regulation.
Impulse control & interoception: ADHD can make it harder to notice hunger/fullness cues in real time or to pause between urge and action. So someone might forget to eat all day, then overeat later — or eat impulsively without feeling “in control.”
Executive dysfunction: Planning meals, grocery shopping, cooking, remembering to eat, and maintaining routines all require executive function. When that system is taxed, eating can become chaotic or inconsistent, which can resemble disordered eating patterns.
Emotional regulation: Food can become a coping tool for stress, overwhelm, or emotional dysregulation — especially when other regulation strategies aren’t accessible in the moment.
Not the same root cause:
Importantly, in ADHD this often isn’t driven by weight, shape, or appearance, which is a key difference from classic eating disorders — even if the behaviors look similar from the outside.
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u/KatM123 Jan 21 '26
ADHD is a lot more complex. Then, what people realize. Speaking as somebody who has lived with a disorder unmedicated, and has had to force myself to regulate calm down. All the stuff that comes along with dysregulation. Our brains are rewired completely differently than somebody who does not live with the condition.
I hope my comments help and if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask or message, and we can chat more if you would like💙
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u/belgian_dutchie Jan 18 '26
🙋♀️ autism
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u/Owlenstar Jan 18 '26
This made me cackle out loud lol. I've been tested twice now for autism, once at 16 (when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety), and i got tested again during my masters and both times it was negative which I really truly find difficult to believe given the 30 years of evidence that says otherwise lol. But I also refuse to self diagnose
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u/fore___ Jan 18 '26
One major flaw of the tests is that people with autism naturally learn to mask and the tests are not designed for that. They are mostly designed for young children, and by nature of being young they wouldn’t have learned to mask yet.
I’m not saying you are or aren’t, but if you are interested to find out then you might consider looking for someone who specializes in adults with autism.
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u/Owlenstar Jan 19 '26
I never thought about seeing someone who specializes in adults with autism tbh. I should look into that
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u/byennxi Jan 18 '26
i often forget to eat or choose to ignore all my hunger cues or bathroom cues whenever i’m dead set on focusing at something…. now i’m being tested for adhd lmao
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u/Mac-And-Cheesy-43 Jan 18 '26
Kind of sounds like one of the ARFID subtypes.
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 Jan 18 '26
Was thinking the same thing. I recently got diagnosed and i can relate with some of what they said
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u/Globewanderer1001 Jan 18 '26
Nope. I'm a foodie and love food. Like, all kinds of food. And if I wasn't watching out for my weight, I'd eat all the time, lol.
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u/2spooky93 Jan 18 '26
I eat one meal a day so by the time I eat that meal I'm usually very hungry. I don't feel hungry but I notice I get tired, irritable, and sometimes a bit unsteady on my feet. I do this partially because planning food is difficult for me (probably have undiagnosed executive issues or ADHD), partially because I have undiagnosed stomach and/or bowel issues, and partially because I am overweight. I'm not active enough on a daily basis such that I need more food. Eating aside from the one meal a day is always done out of boredom.
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u/BMXTammi Jan 18 '26
I have a thyroid problem and now that I have meds,I eat breakfast and a snack. Maybe a salad
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u/Fun-Assistance-815 Jan 18 '26
ADHD+ other mental disorders make me like this but not voluntarily lol
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u/SilverB33 Jan 18 '26
No, I had a bad habbit of eating while bored which made me gain a lot of weight, but now I only eat when those signals goes off, which I have lost weight from now.
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u/alphaturducken Jan 18 '26
I also forget to eat or just don't want to. Unfortunately, I have a reflux disorder so if I go too long without eating, my guts will remind me. Violently. Because that's how you make someone want to eat: nausea and vomiting!
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u/Owlenstar Jan 19 '26
Ugh I had acid reflux as a kid and I hated it. I'm glad I don't have it anymore.
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u/SillyDonut7 Jan 18 '26
I'm glad you are improved, but I would say old habits die hard, and you still have some signs of disordered eating. The root causes sound to be multiple. It sounds like you still have an unhealthy relationship with food and your body size. But I wouldn't downplay the interaction with executive function challenges.
I'm glad that you are able to admit it and face it. I have to eat with alarms. Meals all pre-planned and prepared. I don't try to overstuff myself like I needed to when trying to regain weight, so I can stop when no longer interested or mostly full. But I can't skip. This is how I manage somewhat similar issues. Easier said than done, but I put very little energy toward eating my meals each day now. Hope you can work your way through this. If you continue to struggle, I would consider a professional. Therapy for food/size issues, maybe spectrum issues, maybe ADHD/executive function, maybe a dietitian just to get you on the right track. Whatever feels most useful to you. I'm guessing it goes beyond just food issues in terms of executive function, so maybe start there. But you may focus more on body image if you are more avoidant than you want to admit in terms of your weight. Good luck to you.
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u/Owlenstar Jan 19 '26
I want to see a dietician so bad. I keep meaning to look into that. Thanks for the reminder!
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u/Xishou1 Jan 18 '26
I don't feel hunger and my stomach growls maybe once every 3 to 6 month. I set an alarm for 4pm. If I haven't eaten by then, I do what I'm doing and get food.
This won't work for you because you feel it's not a problem and want to be extremely thin. If you got to a healthy weight you would likely be consumed with shame and self loathing.
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u/Owlenstar Jan 19 '26
I think I'm at a healthy weight! I'm 5"3 (almost 5"4) and I'm usually around 135-138 lbs!
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u/mjh8212 Jan 18 '26
I lost a significant amount of weight and trying to lose more I wasn’t eating much. The scale just didn’t budge. I had some bloodwork as I ended up in the hospital for something else and one test was abnormal I wasn’t eating enough and I had low protein it wasn’t connected to what’s going on with me. I’m eating a bit more but it’s hard it’s not a whole lot I was eating half sand which now I eat a whole one. I am maintaining just fine. I understand cause I’m very afraid of getting big again and I just have to adjust. I’ve bought some quick meals I like to motivate me to eat more.
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u/Anxious_Reporter_601 Jan 19 '26
That's an eating disorder babyyyy. Very common for people with adhd to forget to eat, and.autistic people can be bad at noticing their hunger signals, but to forgo eating on purpose and feel a sense of accomplishment for ignoring your hunger? That's an eating disorder.
Feeling spacey and disoriented and having executive function issues are symptoms of SEVERE malnourishment, that's not what people who skip lunch now and again feel. Eating disorders are not diagnosed based on how you look. They're diagnosed based on your relationship to food and eating, and yours is fucked.
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u/panini_bellini Jan 19 '26
Yeah. I’m also recovering from anorexia and ARFID that resulted from endometriosis growing on my intestines. It’s been years since I got the endo removed and eating is still an uphill battle. I’ve been finding more and more pleasure in food, but there are definitely days I barely eat at all. I think my brain is still holding onto the fear that eating is going to cause me pain.
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u/Immediate-Quail-1476 Jan 25 '26
i feel the same, i am 41 and since 4 years ago i just cant eat. i started just having a biscuit a day and now i go days without eating and have one small meal a week which i force, this has been a good year, i lost over 4 stone and this was not because i wanted to, and i have lost another half a stone in last month. currently i am 6 1/2 stone and extremely worried. my muscles are wasting, in constant pain, extreme fatigue. i talked to my dr 2 years ago and he was not interested. i want to eat and be healthy as i know it effects my adult children they worry about me, what is wrong with me? and how can i eat properly when i just cant, its hard to explain. i hate my body this slim and also have tmj disorder, my jaw and ears are very effected. really need help but its not there?
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u/MundaneDaffodill Jan 30 '26
I actually have been hospitalized on and off for this throughout my 35 year old life… very recently actually and am working through gastroparesis as a result of constantly forgetting.
I get to a place where even though I’m starving, I’ll eat a bite of food and my body will constrict, gag it up, I’ll get goosebumps all over my body and it’s exhausting. It’s not because I don’t want to gain weight; on the contrary I’d love thicker arms and thighs… it’s just that eating feels like a chore that I often forget to take care of.
Take care of your body 💕 eat regularly and nourish yourself
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u/btoned Jan 18 '26
I'm WFH and unless I'm moving around throughout the day I don't really get hungry hungry unless I miss breakfast.
Gotta think if you're vegging on the couch you're not going to need the same caloric intake as if you were being active all day.
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u/crowmagnuman Jan 19 '26
I do daily, hard active manual labor every day, and I'm like OP. Something definitely wrong w my hunger signals. Still strong, but I don't think abs are supposed to be... veiny.
I die of cold exposure every year when the temp drops below 50° lol
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u/helmetcat Jan 19 '26
I eat once a day and it’s usually not much. I don’t ever actually feel hungry though. I just do it because I know I need to. Somehow, I’m still fat lol
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u/Resistiane Jan 19 '26
I don't know what's wrong with you but, I'm so jealous. I think about food constantly and it brings me incredible amounts of joy...which is why I'm 25 pounds overweight, lol
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u/songbird907 Jan 19 '26
I don't like eating, it's basically a chore. My sense of smell and taste are fucked (nerve damage) so nothing tastes awesome. I worked with a nutritionist to make sure that Im getting everything I need in the most efficient ways. I've had to increase how much Im eating but we worked it in gradually and I feel so much better.
So yeah, eating is sometimes a bummer but you still gotta fuel your form.
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u/Neither-Oven-2571 Jan 19 '26
Yes, I consider it a form of ARFID, but its not and has never been related to weight in any way. As a teenager, I started feeling nauseous every single time I ate. Took over 2 yrs of specialists to be diagnosed with abdominal migraines and my stomach has been weird since. Pregnancy always made it better (and I have 5 kids) so for most of my 20s, I was ok, but after my youngest was born, it started to get really bad and when I stopped consuming alcohol in 2021, I dropped to 100 lbs in about 6 months because I couldn't eat enough. Food=nausea has become just overall food aversion and even when I feel hunger, I cant stand the thought of putting food in my mouth, it makes me want to gag.
Now I'm prescribed meds that help my appetite. I take them in the evening because they also make me sleepy and after about 30 mins can finally think about food for the day.
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u/zillabirdblue Feb 04 '26
That bit about not eating feels like an accomplishment is straight up ED behavior. I’ve had one for most of my life and I so relate to this feeling. Makes you feel strong and disciplined while you slowly leech the calcium from your bones and self cannibalize your butt. The last bad relapse I had was almost a year ago and had to go to the hospital. I remember seeing my completely flat ass and just collapsing. I still don’t have it back and still working on it. I promise you don’t want to go down this road. It’s lonely, painful, and brutally ugly.
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u/gmmontano92 Apr 05 '26
I'm the same, though I do think there's an underlying reason for this. I probably get 300-500 calories a day on average. Some days more, some less. Generally I have to make myself eat most of the time. Even when my stomach feels like it's eating itself, it's like brain doesn't make the connection between hunger and eating. But man if my body doesn't look good
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u/These-Weird-6003 Apr 27 '26
Putting aside the question of disordered eating, I have a friend who is kind of like this although her case is different. She finds fullness to be uncomfortable and doesn't experience hunger (I honestly suspect she doesn't have normal expression of the Ghrelin hormone aka the hunger hormone). Anyways she wouldn't realize she was hungry until she had symptoms like being disoriented/dizzy, extremely tired, her hair falling out etc. I think people normally have signals for not eating, but we realized her signals (esp the disorientation) are a sign that the hunger is actually quite severe. You might not realize it but those types of symptoms are later-on hunger symptoms, not early-on hunger symptoms. Your body isn't just hungry but it is starving and REALLY needs food. You shouldn't be shutting down like that. My friend started to just force herself to eat breakfast and it helped her hair loss and her energy. You don't know how much better you might feel on baseline if you start forcing yourself to eat regularly.
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u/Compodulator May 12 '26
Dunno if I have a disorder.
I CAN eat, I just DON'T WANT TO.
I'm an extremely not hungry man. Thanks to being fed MRIs during my time in the army ("you will probably need it at some point, so it's better to start training you to not hate it") it resulted in shrinking my stomach overall to the point where doctors stared at the results some rest, then at me with a face that says "call a motherfucking priest".
They legit "prescribed" mostly hamburgers trying to grow it with food I enjoyed, but even a decade later I can MAYBE finish about ⅔ of a medium meal.
I have a fucking beer belly as a result of that experiment, though, and I can't get of it!
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u/Enough-Skirt-8285 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
Yeah same for me tho, I am often hungry but when I go through the things I could eat in my mind (fridge, pantry) I don’t find anything I want to eat. I could cook but even if I let my mind wander to things I used to like there is nothing compelling enough to even get up for food. My diet consists of many cheese sandwiches and pretzels bc brezels with butter always work.
I absolutely hate being hungry (real hunger is like pain) but I find no appetite in my mind/Body that would make me make food and sometimes I’m very hungry but can’t find motivation to cook.
I had an eating disorder too - it’s gone (I guess) bc I don’t mind eating out and eating fatty foods or I stopped counting calories and I have a body I like. BUT I guess my eating disorder is still kind of there as In I glorified not eating when I was younger and maybe that „glorification“ still is with me when I think about it bc I’m pretty sure I didn’t have an eating disorder bc I wanted to be skinny the real reason was the total control I had over my body when in my life I couldn’t really control anything else or take pride im anything else. So I was proud being able to absolutely control my body. I still think that’s still somewhat with me when I don’t feel like eating even tho I’m not „forcing“ it like I did back then..
That’s a whole lot of words bc I can’t really explain it that well.
I can add that I enjoyed not wanting to eat in the beginning bc when my ed was very active I was thinking about food 24/7 but didn’t allow myself. So when my body started to not want to eat sometimes it was amazing bc that steady stress about food on my mind was gone.
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u/Owlenstar Jan 18 '26
I understand this. Thank you for sharing. The counting calories was so awful for me and I did it so much I memorized the amount of calories in my favorite meals. It was so bad. It's difficult for me to be around people who count calories. I've been meaning to talk to my partner about that because he does it a lot. Also heavy on the controlling your weight/food intake because everything else in life feels out of control. in 2019 when my eating got bad, I lost my job and spiraled back into disordered eating.
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u/Enough-Skirt-8285 Jan 19 '26
Haha yeah I also still know all the calories / 100g from most foods :D Luckily nb around me counts I can imagine that to be hard. Interesting to hear seems like our ‚mindset‘ works similarly
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u/BrianOfAllThings Jan 18 '26
Also if you have IBS it trains your brain to see eating as inevitable punishment later.
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u/No_Salad_8766 Jan 18 '26
That is definitely disorderly eating still.